ROC
Tier I Upgrades
Ore Level – Zinc – 200 Credits
Tier I Optional Assets
Fully Stocked Garden - 200 Credits
Loudspeakers - 200 Credits
Tier II Prerequisites
Power Coupling - 200 Credits
Upper Strata Tunnel Unlock - 200 Credits
Icebreaker – COMPLETE
“Fully stocked garden, huh?” I asked.
Source couldn’t help but sound proud. “A wealth of crisp and leafy greens, hydroponically grown and sustainably farmed, robotically picked and chopped with a precision worthy of the finest establishments on the planet.”
“Vegetables?” asked Bingo.
“All you can eat.”
Patch piped up next. “Fresh vegetables?”
“None fresher.”
“Sounds disgusting,” I said, as the other two nodded in agreement.
“But…” Source paused, and I heard his hard drives spin up to a much, much higher RPM than he’d needed to use with us so far. “But there’s no food or water left in the tunnels you have access to. You can’t possibly last more than a few-”
“You work for us, right?” I asked, cutting Source off.
“Technically.”
“Whatever. The garden’s an easy skip, which is good because it’ll let us buy everything else on Tier I and still have seventeen Credits left.”
“Is that your decision?” Source sputtered. “At this stage, the choice must be a simple majority.”
“No garden,” I said.
Patch was next. “I’m not that hungry, right now.”
I turned to Bingo. “What about you?”
“Huh?”
He hadn’t been listening. That, or the coolant he’d been using to supplement his dwindling stash of booze had burnt out his brain to such an extent that he couldn’t hang on to a thought for longer than ten seconds. “Never mind. I was trying to ask if you wanted to ditch the garden Source has on this list, but we’ve already got two votes and we don’t need a third.”
“Garden?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
“*Shtuck*ing jettison that *shtullsh*it.”
The clipboard flickered, and our choices filled in. Everything in Tier I said COMPLETE now, except for the useless garden. There was a blinking NEXT button at the bottom, and I tapped it.
ROC
Tier II Upgrades
Ore Level – Copper – 250 Credits
Tier II Optional Assets
Dumpster Access - 250 Credits
Upgraded Arcade Access - 250 Credits
Tier III Prerequisites
Plot Armor Plating - 250 Credits
Generator - 250 Credits
Democracy - COMPLETE
I gave Bingo my clipboard and went to grab another. Judging by the chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ they both got to the Dumpster Access on the Optional Asset list at the same time. “From a hydroponic garden to dumpsters, Source?”
“I am many things, Mr. Raze. Chief amongst them is a quick learner.”
Mister… I could get used to that…
The costs had gone up a touch this Tier, but what really worried me was the fact that we’d blown through the Credits we’d had in reserve and now had practically nothing left in the pool to spend.
Patch was all over that too, and she stepped right up to the workspaces and hopped up on to the seat beside me. “To earn more cash, all we have to do is make people remember that Rule of Cool exists?”
“Correct.”
I frowned. “Does Rule of Cool still exist?”
“Of course,” Source said, his electronic voice kicking up a notch. “You are currently sitting in the headquarters!”
“I get it, but…” I had to try to attack this from a different angle. “Is there a Board of Directors?”
“Yes.”
“How many people are on it?”
“At the moment, three,” he answered, without hesitation.
I cocked my head. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. “And how many employees are there?”
“Three.”
Here we go… “The same three, right?”
“Yes.”
“He means us, for those of you still playing along at home,” I told the other two.
Patch, never one to be disappointed by the facts or the starkness of reality, gave Source’s camera a huge grin. “But that’s great, right? I mean, how hard can it be to convince people that awesome stuff is awesome? We’ll be rolling in Credits, once people know that Rule of Cool is back in business.”
“Patch,” I said, “are you forgetting that we’re trapped in here?”
Her face fell for a moment. “Yes… Yes I am.”
I narrowed my eyes at Source’s cameras. “But you’re going to let us out, right?”
“Of course, so long as a representative remains behind.”
“You need a hostage?”
“Hostage is such a dirty word, and representative a much nicer one. But yes, I need a hostage. Now that purchasing decisions are being made, a member of the Board needs to be here to direct the expansion into the lower levels.”
“Well it won’t be me,” I said. “If there’s mischief to be made in Hallow, I’m the one to be making it.”
Bingo had turned in his seat to watch me, and now he laughed so loudly that the gas mask’s odd amplification almost blew my eardrums out. “I’m goin’ wit’ ya. I got business down dere, and I want outta ‘ere.”
“Really? Will people in Hallow even remember you?”
“Better fer everybody if dey don’t.”
“How come?”
“Dat’s my *shtuck*ing business, you nosy *shtuck*ing *shtuck*er.”
I didn’t appreciate the way he said it, but he was right. I’d been so into planning trouble and mayhem that I’d probably overstepped my bounds and gotten too nosy.
Patch went over to him and, with as much poise and innocence as I’d ever seen her mobilize, politely shoved Bingo backwards off the chair he was sitting on. He landed hard on the floor. “Mr. Raze is a valued member of our crew. Please don’t forget that.”
Bingo didn’t answer, choosing instead to get up slowly and rub his butt with both hands. He had trouble reaching back there, which made me worry about his hygiene options.
“Now Source,” Patch asked. “I need you to convince that one,” she said, pointing at me, “that I should get to go back to town with him.”
“Very well. But if you were to remain with me, I’d allow you to view my archives. The Rift has been beaming more than thirty thousand television stations into my receivers for several hundred years.”
Sweeter words had clearly never struck her ears. “On second thought, let’s get those two down to Hallow so that you and I can get acquainted!”
Chapter 13
“Actually,” I said to her, before this was all done and dusted, “I’d rather you keep Bingo here with you.”
The older Gearblin wasn’t even pretending to care what I said. He was alternating between checking his vials for drink that wasn’t there and playing with that silver ring of his again. “I’m goin’. End a *shhtuck*in’ story.”
Instead of sparring with him, I watched him closely. He was too distracted to worry about me spying on him, and I saw him put the ring on.
At least I thought I did. Maybe it was the exotic fluorescent lighting, or fatigue or some symptom of being a Hero but he seemed to flicker and twitch.
I was sure I’d seen the ring on his finger, but now it was clearly grasped between his thumb and another of his stubby digits.
Bingo absently did it a second time and the same thing happened. He put the ring on, and then sort of twinkled and it was off again, the piece of jewelry poised to be re-equipped.
Before I could work out a way to call Patch’s attention to the oddity, she hopped into the conversation on Bingo’s side. Big surprise… “Grandpa’s obviously been trapped in her
e for long enough to practically turn feral. I think you should at least take him for a walk.”
She had a point, I guess. I’d been in here for a few hours and I was already stir crazy. If anybody deserved to blow off a little steam for a night, it was probably Bingo. “How about this?” I told her. “I’ll take him out, but I’m not going to be responsible for bringing him back.”
“Be aware,” Source piped up, “all crewmembers who leave the Rule of Cool headquarters on this excursion must return. Patch and I will be watching the Real Housewives until you do.”
Great. More not-so-subtle hostage chatter. She was giving me a big thumbs up though, clearly okay with the upcoming binge.
I kept telling myself that I wasn’t in charge. If Bingo and Patch wanted to go down this road, so be it. Nobody had made me leader, so when everything went south they couldn’t blame me.
“Do you think we can trust Source?” I asked Patch.
“I, for one,” said Source, “am hurt and offended. My only job is to further the reach of the Rule of Cool Corporation. So long as you work toward that goal, I am your ever-faithful servant.”
Bingo smacked his palm down on a console, making me jump. “Den unlock da lower tunnels an’ prove it! I wanna see my muse, at long last.”
Source did the computer version of a snort of derision, a sort of dragged-out beep with the whirr of the concealed cooling fans thrown in for good measure. “I cannot. There are rules, and I am the only one in this room forced to follow them. She is safe, hidden from you by the same protocol that saved her from the Heroes a millennia ago.”
Bingo’s response was to yank an instruction manual from a shelf and hurl it at the camera. Drunk or not, his aim wasn’t half bad. The thick book banged off the lens that I’d started to think of as Source’s face, making it swing to and fro until the servos compensated for the impact.
As funny as it was to watch him try and knock the computer’s block off, I ignored them and went over to Patch. I was glad that she was staying behind. We needed someone on the ground spending the Credits we earned, and her annoying optimism may be a benefit. This place could be a huge asset, and I trusted her to build it wisely.
After all, who better to construct a future stronghold than someone who held out hope for that very future?
I was excited to go down and make waves on behalf of Rule of Cool in Hallow, and she could supervise Source and the upgrades.
I could tell that she wasn’t as happy about being left behind as she was making out. That should be easy enough to smooth over. I was a swindler and a con man to my core, and I knew all the tricks.
“Hey,” I whispered, leaning in closer and bumping my shoulder against hers conspiratorially. People like to feel part of a secret, which makes it easier to twist their arm, if and when the situation required it. “I don’t know which of those two idiots I trust least, Bingo or Source. It’s you and me, just like always. Got it?”
When she replied, her voice was as low as mine. “Got it. I don’t think Source will double-cross us, though. He’s obviously worried about the Heroes doing the same thing they did the last time they ran riot in here. Besides, the raid’s approaching. His programming made him open the front doors once, and he’ll do it again.”
“If you say so. He did shut his room up tight though, remember. He hung the last lot out to dry, and he’ll do the same thing to us, if he has to. Count on it.”
“I thought of that,” she said, raising her voice and looking directly at Source’s camera, “which is why I disabled his blast doors. He’s just as vulnerable as the rest of us, now. I’m willing to bet that he’ll help as much as he can.”
“You what?” Source boomed, the digitized voice making my ears buzz. I whirled around at the same time that I heard his camera grind and swivel, both of us turning to stare at the door we’d used to access his chamber. Sure enough, a sizeable crowbar had been expertly wedged into the groove in the frame the shielding would need to use in order to close.
Patch giggled. “You heard me. We’re all in this together, for real this time.”
Source beeped and chirped in obvious frustration before getting his act together and quieting down. “I’ll simply overpower it.”
She shrugged. “I doubt it, sweetie. I rolled pretty well.” If we had any butter, it wouldn’t have melted in her mouth.
Source’s camera regarded her in silence for a moment. “What did you roll?”
“High…”
I went over and checked her work. If she was bluffing I didn’t want to give the game away, so I laid my hand on it as gently as I could.
Crowbar
Damage: 1d6
Damage Type: Bludgeoning or Stabbing, depending on martial style used
Additional Effects: Myriad. This is primarily a tool that amplifies leverage.
Weight: 12 pounds
Durability: 10/10
Description: As fans of engineering, burglary, and Grand Theft Auto have known for a long time, nothing beats the versatility of a crowbar.
Minimum Level Required to Equip: 1
Base Resale Value: 30 silver
Base Dismantle Result: 3 Iron Bars
Base Alchemical Result: 2
Base Decantation Result: N/A
It was in there good, and when I gave it a hefty bump with the heel of my hand it didn’t so much as quiver. I flashed Source a dark grin of my own. “You’re in the soup with us now, buddy. If you’ve been hiding anything we can use, you better cough it up.”
“Very well.”
He said it like there was going to be some big reveal, but when nothing happened I looked at Patch quizzically. “Was something supposed to happen?”
She shrugged her head and squinted, and I got the feeling that she was checking her stats for changes. “Don’t look at me,” she said, clearly finding nothing new. “I just work here.”
“Credits,” Bingo said. “Dere’s a lot more, now.”
I snatched up a clipboard, but Patch ran over and
Contested Power Roll
Raze’s Power Modifier: 0
Roll: 9
Patch’s Power Modifier: -1
Roll: 18 – 1 = 17
Result: Patch Success
wrestled it out of my grip. “He’s right! We’ve got almost eight grand!”
Source sighed, the result of more internal fans spinning wildly. “I have exchanged my Rule of Cool stock for Credits. It seems we really are all in this together.”
Even though I knew he was only trying to prolong his own life, the generosity of the action wasn’t lost on me. “Thanks,” I said to Source. “We’ll do our best not to mismanage the funds, and by that I mean that Patch is going to be in charge of them.” I pointed at her. She’d used ‘Mr.’ when she defended me against Bingo, and I wanted to extend the same courtesy. “Miss Patch-”
She held up a hand. “I’ve given this some thought, actually. Call me Executrix Patch, please. It’s like aviatrix or dominatrix, but for executives. You like?”
“Does it matter?”
“Nope.”
I shook my head sadly. Of course it didn’t… “Executrix Patch, I hereby put you in charge of our money. Now get us the good stuff.”
“You got it, boss,” she told me, tapping away at the clipboard in her hand.
Before I could remind her that I wasn’t in charge of anything, the various screens around the room started strobing as they struggled to keep us updated on the results of her spending spree.
Tier II Purchases
Ore Level – Copper - 250 Credits
Dumpster Access - 250 Credits
Upgraded Arcade Access - 250 Credits
Plot Armor Plating - 250 Credits
Generator - 250 Credits
Tier III Purchases
Ore level – Brass - 500 Credits
Free Drink Refills - 500 Credits
Mine Shaft Enforcer - 500 Credits
Wi-Fi Password - 500 Credits
Tier IV Purcha
ses
Ore Level – Bronze - 1000 Credits
Mine Shaft Re-Enforcer - 1000 Credits
Joystick Calibration - Inverse Y Axis - 1000 Credits
Cinemax (the Naughty Channels) - 1000 Credits
“Annnnnd,” Patch panted, a thin dappling of exhilaration-born sweat dotting her hairline. “We’re done…”
I thought she’d done a pretty good job. “Thanks for inverting the joystick, by the way.”
“No prob, Raze. I know you’re always bitching about that.”
“It’s the difference between wrestling with a crappy interface and immersing yourself in the moment. What sort of monster presses down to look down? It makes no sense! You’re controlling flaps or jump jets or ailerons or the muscles of an avatar’s neck, for the love of all that’s unholy, and directing impulses or airflow. People who aren’t bothered by that sort of thing-”
“Don’t even classify as people,” she finished for me. “Calm down, I get it.”
“If I may interject,” Source said, “and if I’m reading my own software correctly, did you just spend every last drop of my hard-won and diligently cultivated currency in less than six seconds?”
“Yep,” Patch responded. “And thanks again.”
The computer wasn’t happy. “I couldn’t help but notice that you skipped the option to upgrade the AI that had just sacrificed everything to help you…”
Patch’s bottom lip jutted out. “That was next on the list, but I ran out of money.”
“You flipped the axis on joysticks he can’t even access yet!”
“Oh… Well, that may have been an oversight, but at least my heart was in the right place. The point is that we need a lot more Credits.”
“That’s my cue,” I said. “Show me the way out of here and I’ll go down into Hallow and give the Heroes something to talk about.”
“No,” said Source. “You misunderstand. Those who have already sworn allegiance to the other kingdoms are lost to us. You need to let the former, and perhaps future citizens of Darkwell know that there is still power in this place.”
Know Your Roll Page 13
