by Audra Hart
Kylor looks at his brother, and then to his mother. “I know that I only just met him, but he seems strong enough to handle it. I would like to know as well.”
Morna sighs, “Okay. My skull was fractured, the left half of my face was injured. My left arm, pelvis, and left leg were all damaged.”
“She means crushed and half of her face was ripped off,” says Luca quietly.
Morna flashes a look of irritation at Luca, but it is gone in an instant. Morna looks back at Kyle, “It was bad, baby. Luca wove a lot of healing spells in the hospital or I probably wouldn’t have survived in that mortal body. When I started getting my memories back, my body started getting stronger. I guess I spontaneously started healing. And then the venom finished the healing.”
Kyle looks at Luca, “Did she suffer a lot?”
“Unspeakably.” Luca says honestly.
“Really, Luca?” Morna snaps. “Sorry darling. I just didn’t want them to know that.”
“Sorry Morna, they are grown men and deserve to know the whole truth.” Luca says quietly.
“I know, mo chroí, and I am sorry I snapped at you. But these young men are my babies. They may be grown men, powerful ones at that, but they are my babies,” Morna says with deep feeling.
Luca takes her into his arms, and says, “I don’t care if you snap at me you old harridan.” And then he kisses her gently. “Sorry baby. I know Kyle is young and you want to protect him, but he is more mature than any other fifteen year old I have ever met. And he will have to be because he has a lot ahead of him. And Kylor is six hundred and forty seven years old, he can definitely handle the whole story.” Luca and Morna both look stricken when Luca says that last part. Luca looks at Kylor and says, “I can’t believe Valgullveig robbed us of all that time with you. We can‘t let my grandfather or anyone else keep this family apart ever again.”
Kylor goes to them and wraps his arms around both of them, “Mother, Father, I am sorry. I should have come to you sooner, but I was fearful for Bellona. She risked everything to keep me safe. But I should have confronted Mars sooner.”
Morna turns to him and pats his cheek. “But you did come to us. I think you came to check on us many times. I felt you many times over the centuries, I just couldn’t understand what I was feeling.”
“That’s true. But I couldn’t stay long because Valgullveig and Mars have had a very long standing, on again, off again affair. I couldn’t risk leading either one of them to you. Not until you were powerful enough to deal with them. When I heard you were in Asgard, with Father, and were described as a powerful warrior goddess, I hoped that now was the right time. So I challenged Mars, barely defeated him, and gained Bellona’s freedom.” Kylor says humbly.
“Wow!” Says Kyle with a grin on his face. “I have some bold footsteps to follow with you people for my family.” Everyone laughs. And Kyle says, “Mom, you need anything? I was going to go get a coke. You want one?”
“Sure, son, thank you.” Morna says with a laugh.
“Kylor?” Kyle asks.
“Nah kid, I am good. Thanks though.” Kylor says, quickly picking up on the vernacular.
Morna and Luca look at each other and Luca says, “We have company coming. The twins want to meet their cousin.” Morna gets an indecipherable look on her face, and looks away quickly. Luca looks to Kyle, and says, “Can you show them the way in before you go to the kitchen?”
“Sure Dad. Be back soon Mom. I may get a sandwich while I am at it. I am hungry again,” Kyle says blithely as he sails out of the study.
“Who are the twins? How do I have any cousins?” Kylor asks in confusion.
“Valgullveig’s children. She mated with Lootz, the leader of the giants. They were present today, with the envoys from Utgard. Lootz was in Airendell today, and will be there for our vow renewal ceremony. He is a good friend of mine,” says Morna.
“Can we trust her children?” asks Kylor.
“Yes, they were raised by their father. They have cut all ties with their mother long before I was even born,” Morna says with an uncomfortable expression on her face.
“Don’t you trust them Mother? You get a funny look on your face when you talk about them,” Kylor asks.
“Let’s just say your Mother has reasons to have mixed feelings about them. But they are firmly on our side and she knows that. She tries to make them feel welcome,” Luca says tactfully.
Kylor nods and doesn’t ask any more questions because he can hear Kyle leading them into the study. When the twins walk in, Kylor almost chokes. Morna meets his eyes, and looks away quickly. They all greet the newcomers and engage in small talk for a few minutes before Morna excuses herself. Kylor watches after his mother thoughtfully. She is very uncomfortable, but hiding it well. After a short while she excuses herself, saying she is tired.
After about five minutes, Kylor excuses himself to go after her. Luca wonders what the hell all that is about, but focuses on talking strategy with Annie and Lou. Annie has actually encountered Mars before. She had watched him in battle and is relaying what she observed to Luca. Luca is confident that Morna is hearing all of this so he asks numerous questions.
Kylor can’t find his mother in the dining room, sitting room or the bedroom. Finally, he realizes she must be holed up in the bathroom. He knocks on the door softly but she doesn’t answer. “Mother, I know you are in there. I am coming in.” He finds her sitting cross legged on the floor with her face buried in her hands. He sits in front of her quietly for a few minutes. He becomes concerned and tries to pry her hands off of her face.
At first she won’t allow him to budge her hands, and finally she drops her hands and says, “Oh Hell! I guess I must face another round of shame for my past indiscretions. You recognize Lou, don’t you?”
“Yes I do, Mother. But you won’t face any shame on account of me.” When she looks away, Kylor says, “Mother look at me, please.” Several seconds pass and she still won’t meet his eyes. “Mama, please look at me.”
She slowly turns to look at him and his heart is broken by what he sees. Tears of shame are streaming down her face, and she can barely look at her own son. “Kylor, I swear I didn’t know, son. Lou didn’t know either. I swear.”
Kylor picks his mother up and pulls her into his lap. “Mama, I knew that before you ever said anything. You had three husbands, and a few lovers in different incarnations. Every single one of them before Father found you. You never even looked at another man after Father found you each time. I am sure he knows that, if I do. You were reborn a mortal each time with no memories of lives that had gone before, how could you have known. You didn‘t even know the world of magical beings even existed. You didn‘t even know you had a sister, much less a niece and nephew.”
“Kylor, I am so, so very sick with shame over this. I feel dirty. I feel physically sick every time I look at him or think of him. Breena and Rinda were able to remove his memories of what happened. But the technique they used won’t work on me. I am stuck with those memories for as long as I live. And I suspect that will be a very, very long time. It is not just who he is that makes me feel that way, but the fact that he was in love with me and I didn’t have any feelings for him but casual friendship. I used him. I was trying to fill some huge, indescribable emptiness in my life. Good people just don’t do things like that.”
“Mama, did you ever deceive him, trick him, or intentionally harm him in anyway?” Kylor asks softly. Morna shakes her head no.
“Well, I saw you two together. It was obvious that he was in love with you, but it was also obvious that you just didn’t see it. You were totally oblivious. To you, he was just a friend,” Kylor says softly.
“I keep telling myself that. Breena and Rinda have told me that. Your father has told me that. I know that, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. I will always, always feel dirty because of it. In time I will come to cope better, I am sure. But it will never, ever go away,” Morna says despondently.
Morna start
s to move away from her son, but he holds her firmly and starts humming softly. “Rest, Mama. Just rest. It will look better in the morning.”
After an hour Luca decides whatever exactly is going on between his son and his wife, he must go check on Morna. After they left the study Luca continued to chat with Annie and Lou about tactics to use with Mars. When Kyle came back, he was troubled by emotions he was feeling from his mother, Luca told him telepathically that she would be fine, and she would really appreciate it if he would use his off switch, so she could heal in private. The youth complied eagerly, grateful for the off switch because Morna’s pain was intense. The boy goes to bed and Luca makes excuses for Morna and Kylor to Annie and Lou.
“I can’t imagine how much I would want to spend time with my son if he was returned to me after over six hundred years.” Annie says as she ushers her brother out of their suite. She suspects that Lou’s presence is causing Morna the pain and shame she feels. But what really confuses her is that it is obvious that Kylor knows their history. She prays Kylor can say something that will give Morna peace. Annie really likes and respects Morna, but is afraid that she and Lou will have to leave, because they are painful reminders.
Luca heard all of the conversation that passed between his son and his wife. He hears Kylor humming and occasionally can make out a word or two. Finally the humming has stopped and Morna is sleeping peacefully, deeper than he has ever heard her sleep. Luca lets himself into the bathroom and finds his grown son with his mother on his lap. He is cradling her like a child and rocking gently. Kylor puts his fingers up to his lips, and whispers, “Help me put her in bed.”
Luca gently takes his wife out of his son’s arms and carries her into their bedchamber. He indicates Odin’s chamber and mouths, “Open it.” He gently lies his beloved inside and tries to settle her comfortably.
“Love you Luca.” Morna mumbles in a voice so thick with sleep Luca can barely make it out.
He smiles at her. “I will always love and adore you, Morna. Count on it,” he vows.
“I know, me too.” she says simply.
Luca looks at his oldest son and motions for him to follow him out of the bedchamber. They go into the study and Luca erects a buffer spell. He invites his son to sit down. Luca offers him a drink. “I would like a scotch if you have anything like that around here.” Luca chuckles and goes to the bar recessed in the counter and pours his son three fingers of very fine Glenlivet scotch.
Kylor takes it and sniffs it. Then drinks half of it. “Very nice! Why do you have this, Father? I am sure you don’t even drink water do you?”
“No, but that is the brand your mother prefers. Valliant has kept this house ready for her to occupy since she was small child. Surt tells me that he has made many changes to it over the years. When she took up drinking scotch during the Gigi years, he started insisting that her home was stocked with it.” Luca says with a laugh. “It appears that you have inherited your mother’s tastes. Now tell me, what did you do to her? She has never slept that soundly before, ever!”
“I was afraid I might not have succeeded when she spoke to you. She shouldn’t be able to do that,” Kylor says thoughtfully.
“She spoke to me when she was in a coma. She is always aware of my presence, when I am near.” Luca informs his son.
“You two have a very, very deep connection. It’s truly amazing. I noticed today that you almost operate as one being at times. Is that because of the telepathy?” Kylor asks curiously.
“No, that’s just how we are. We only just recently learned how to use telepathy. We seem to simply be in sync with each other. We forget we can talk to each other that way, to be honest. But I must know what you did to her Kylor,” Luca insists firmly.
“It is a technique of Grandmother’s. She works with women and children who have been ravaged by war. Most of the women have been raped, and many of the children. That kind of violation leaves the victim filled with shame and despair. Mother was full of shame and despair tonight. I removed it. If she remembers her relationship with Lou, she won’t feel that shame and despair. I am hopeful she won’t recall it at all.” Kylor sighs and runs his hands through his hair in a gesture much like his father’s.
“I am sorry, I should have asked permission first, but I doubt she would have granted it. I had to spend a lot of time walking around in her mind, her memories, and her emotions in order to fix the problem. I tried to avoid the memories of your relationship over the years, but they are everywhere in there. She literally lives for you Father. She loves us, her children, she loves us deeply, purely and without reserve. But she lives for you! Her love for you is so bright, so powerful, I literally felt warmed by it,” Kylor says in awe.
Luca looks at his son and says, “Never let her know that you did that. She is very, very private. She has always kept her deepest thoughts and feelings to herself. But I am sure you learned that in there. She never deliberately keeps secrets from me. Well, one time. The very secret that is causing her all of this shame. Will she really not remember it?”
“Probably not, Father. But I can’t be certain until we see her reaction to Lou. She couldn’t help reacting how she did tonight. If I successfully healed those memories, she won’t remember them at all. If she does remember, I am very hopeful that I at least healed the shame and despair they cause her. As I said, I can’t be certain because I have never, ever been inside a mind like hers before. It was so complicated, so detailed, so rich, so full! I can’t imagine how she keeps track of all she knows. Actually, she doesn’t realize all that she knows. She reads and speaks seventeen current languages, and five dead languages, and two magical languages did you know that?”
“No, not exactly. I knew she had a talent for languages. We have never understood the source of that knowledge for many of them. Like the language that prophesy is written in, I can’t imagine how she knows it. I spent hundreds of hours studying to learn it over the years that I searched for her. It is a very complicated language. I learn most languages very quickly, but that one was tough. And to find that Kyle knows it… It must be some kind of genetic quirk…” Luca trails off in thought.
“And her sense of humor is incredible. She can find something funny about almost everything under the sun. She keeps it to herself because she thinks she must be mature and serious because she is responsible for the protection of so many, but the sense of humor is definitely there.” Kylor says with a chuckle.
“I know. As Gigi, LiNora, Mary and as Audrey she would keep me in stitches. Especially as LiNora.” Luca smiles at the memory.
“And she has human foibles, just like the rest of us. She is jealous of your love for her in her past incarnations. She knows it’s absurd, but she also knows, without a doubt, that you love her more now than you ever have.” Kylor says quietly. “Her mind is a very strange and wonderful place that I was glad I was able to visit, yet at the same time, I wish that I had not. I know how horribly Hilda and Roxie suffered. You know about Hilda, but poor Roxie was… never mind.” Kylor rubs his face and runs his hands through his hair.
Luca smiles and says, “Son, I have that exact same mannerism when I am troubled or overwhelmed.” But Luca sobers instantly. “Please tell me. I need to understand all that she has suffered. In a weird way, I feel I must share the burden with her.”
“Roxie’s father molested her from the time she was two until she died. Her mother knew about it, and didn’t stop it. She would beat Roxie, and burn her with the iron for it. They were both monsters.” Kylor says quietly. “I tinkered with those memories too. She doesn’t deserve that.” Kylor is silent for a moment and says, “She was hiding something about that time. I don’t know what it was… there’s a part of her that operates separately from her conscious state. I can’t understand it. She wouldn‘t let me get near it.”
“Father I also know about Rinda. Rinda is a dear friend, but that is all. You know that right?” Kylor asks softly. When Luca nods, Kylor continues; “She would have done it… wha
t she offered to do the other day. She would have done it.”
“I know son. I hate it that she would do that on my behalf. That is not who she really is.” Luca says quietly, and then chuckles. “Look who I am telling that to. You probably know her as well as I do, or better even.”
“No not really. There were many parts of her mind I could not enter. I suspect that those parts are largely devoted to you, and her mind is powerful enough to keep me out. It was an amazing experience. I have never experienced anything like it before and I have been in thousands of minds. Her mind is a true labyrinth, not disorganized, but organized in a very, very complicated fashion. I suspect I only got a glimpse of what goes on in there. But she freely reveals her true self to you in all things. She trusts and loves you completely.” Kylor admits.
“Astonishing! How do you do it Kylor? Not the actual mechanism or technique that you use, that is one skill I just don’t want. How can you stand to enter those damaged minds and heal them? I have been a practicing psychiatrist and counselor, I wouldn’t want to actually enter those minds and see what is really going on inside of them. Just as I would not want to actually be able experience another’s pain like many around me can do,” Luca says with a shudder.
“I suspect that is because you are too sympathetic. Emphathics cannot be overly sympathetic. It is a quandary.” Kylor says. “I do it because it is what Grandmother and I could do to help people. It was all we could do to counter some of the damage Mars and his insatiable need for conflict wrecks on the world.” Kylor sighs and then says, “Speaking of Grandmother, Mother already has a plan in mind as to how to increase Grandmother’s power as a goddess…”
Luca laughs, “I bet I can guess. She wants to transfer the aura and life force Almeda gifted her with?”
“Incredible! How could you possibly have known that? I know she didn’t mention it to you. She has no memory of that. She only has memories of trying to figure out how to achieve it. She wants to repay Bellona for saving me, but mostly she can’t stand it when someone’s rightful power is taken away from them,” Kylor says in awe of his mother.
