by Moira Rogers
She wanted to. God, she wanted to. His embrace looked like safety and comfort rolled into one, but her feet were rooted in place, her entire body tensed to give in to the wolf and flee. “I don’t know if I can.”
He dropped his arms with a nod. “I could tell you the rest of my secrets, if it helps.”
“You don’t understand.” She wiggled her fingers and rocked forward, testing the wolf’s resolve. Her conflicting emotions only ratcheted the pressure higher. “I want to come there. I just…think I’m about to bolt.”
“I know, but I’m not about to push you.”
She snarled before she could stop herself, hot temper rising as fast as it had in the library. “This would be easier if you weren’t so fucking honorable.”
His lips twitched, and he cleared his throat. “You want me to take charge,” he murmured, a thread of steel creeping into his voice. “And I will. When I know you’re not just rolling over under me because you don’t know anything else to do.”
In a heartbeat, she crowded into his space, pressed close with a challenging growl. “Rolling under you is not my first instinct right now.” Climbing him like a tree and riding him to the floor, on the other hand…
He slid his fingers into her hair again. “Do you know why you like this, honey? It’s the control. You think you want it, but you don’t. Just the fight. You still want me to win.”
The words resonated, but she wasn’t about to admit as much. “That doesn’t sound very progressive of me. Don’t werewolves get to have feminist pride?”
“Who said you aren’t proud?” His gaze warmed as it traveled over her face. “You’re amazing, Eden. After what happened to you, you could have given up. But you came up fighting instead.”
She’d been joking, but the sincerity in his words made her self-conscious. Dropping her gaze, she traced a finger along the neckline of his T-shirt. “Maybe that’s just luck. Whatever made me turn early and made me a powerful wolf. If it wouldn’t hurt more, I think I’d still be whimpering under your bed.”
The pulse throbbing at the base of his throat sped at her touch. “Hiding? Not you, no way.”
“You’d be surprised.” Edging her finger up a fraction allowed her to touch skin, and she hissed out a breath and jerked away as desire jolted through her. “Would you have asked me out if you’d known I knew about werewolves? Or is this all just because I am one now?”
“I would’ve.” He smoothed his hands down to her shoulders. “I wasn’t about to start something based on a lie, that’s all.”
That was how every relationship in her life had felt. “It’s not easy. Even when the lie’s not yours.”
“Doesn’t matter now.” He stepped closer, looming over her. “Nothing else to hide.”
Her insides were melting. She’d screwed around with enough guys in college to know she’d like giving up control to him when the time came—
When the time came. “Is this the part where you handcuff me to something?”
He bent his head and kissed her, his tongue edging her lips apart as soon as his mouth met hers. Nothing tentative this time, just an unrelenting kiss, deep and a little rough, and she rocked up on her toes and shoved her fingers into his hair to drag him closer.
His tongue slid over hers, and a moan vibrated deep in his chest. Only a moment later, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. “This…is where we have dinner.”
The world was still spinning in lazy circles, but all the built-up tension had vanished. “How do you keep doing that?” she whispered. “She twists up inside me until I think I’m going to pop, and you make it all go away with a kiss.”
“Don’t know.” A low chuckle escaped him. “Talent?”
“Maybe.” She rubbed her cheek against his. “I don’t know werewolf rules, but if we’re not having a—a thing here, you’d better tell me now. I’m feeling territorial.”
“Dinner,” he said again, firmly this time. “The rest is up to us.”
It wasn’t enough of an answer to satisfy her, but it didn’t look like she’d be getting a better one. Biting back a sigh, she stepped away. “You said you wanted me to make a salad?”
“Unless you want to go strictly carnivore tonight.”
“That is uncomfortably appealing.”
He grinned. “Do we dare?”
The smile was infectious. Eden laughed as she rolled up her sleeves to wash her hands. “No. I need something to do while you’re burning meat.”
Jay clucked his tongue and shook his head. “Always a good girl, huh?”
“Don’t taunt me, Chief Ancheta.” She lowered her voice to a husky promise. “I might decide to try my hand at naked cooking.”
He passed her a bamboo cutting board and pulled a knife free of the block. “Sounds kinky.”
“Maybe I am kinky.” She eyed the knife with a grin. “Not that kinky. But I do work in the building with all the books, even dirty ones. Good luck shocking me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of trying, Ms. Green. Not for a moment.”
Jay woke with a start. He watched the ceiling fan turn slow revolutions above him, every sense on high alert.
In his bedroom, Eden whimpered, a sound cut short by a sharp gasp. He shot off the couch, kicking away the blanket that tangled around his legs.
She was staring at the ceiling, wet lines of tears tracking down her face to disappear in the damp hair at her temples. Jay knelt by the bed. “Eden? What happened?”
She wiped at her cheeks with trembling hands. “Nothing. Just…dreams.”
Nightmares. “What do you need?”
“I was going to turn the lights on, but I guess I don’t need them anymore.” She reached for him with one hand. “You were right. I can see in the dark.”
“It takes some getting used to.” He tucked her hand between his. “Family stuff?”
Eden wiped at her cheek again with a watery little laugh. “I guess that’s where it all comes from, but it’s never that clear. I don’t dream about the past. Just about the farm. Being trapped there with ghosts or serial killers or monsters…”
And he’d brought it all to the surface, poking around in the shreds of her past. “You have a chance to reclaim that place now. Turn it into something good instead of what you remember.”
She just stared at him. “Do you believe in ghosts?”
He believed in echoes, the kinds that followed people no matter where they went. “I think we can be haunted by things, yes. By the past.”
“I always thought the farm was haunted.” She rolled to her side and reached for him with her other hand. “The whole pack has so much to be haunted by. I hope there’s room in the house for all the new ghosts.”
Jay hesitated, then crawled onto the bed and curled up behind her. “There’s no ghosts, honey. Just pain, and that fades in time.”
Her wolf’s power seethed just beneath her skin, wounded and wary, but Eden squirmed back against Jay in silent acceptance of his protection. “You never told me your secrets.”
No, he hadn’t, and now he found himself more reluctant to do so than ever before. More ghosts, more pain. “When I said I understand what you went through, watching what happened to Zack, it wasn’t entirely true. To be honest, I’m more familiar with his side of the whole equation.”
She twined their fingers together. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.” The words came automatically, a reassurance he couldn’t help but offer. “I’m glad Zack had your mom and dad, not to mention you. Family who cared.”
Eden rolled over and stared up at him. “He made me promise never to tell. Made me swear when I was so young I can’t even remember doing it. And he was my hero, my protector. I think I would have told any lie he wanted me to.”
All he could give her was the brutal truth, layer one more blanket of cruelty on her world. “You couldn’t have stopped what was happening to him, Eden. It isn’t as though no one knew. There were investigations, examinations. They figured Alb
us couldn’t be beating Zack because he always healed too fast. They wouldn’t have listened to the truth.”
“I could have told my parents. If they’d known how bad it was…” She clenched her hand around the blankets. “It’s not right that people can know and not fix it.”
“No,” he agreed. “But when you have to hide away, you lose some of the protections people take for granted. Look at what happened in Memphis.”
“Zack talked like all the cities are like that. Is it really that bad everywhere?”
“Not in the smaller towns.” And not in the sanctuaries.
The import of what they were about to do hit Jay like a punch. As soon as his friends arrived, they’d be making a stand, probably even traveling to Memphis to deliver their message in person. From now on, Clover would be a safe place, a haven where wolves in need could take shelter.
More would come—provided he could hold the line and keep other alphas out of Clover.
Eden pushed up on one elbow and studied him. “You thought of something.” She placed her hand on his chest. “Something that made your heart beat faster.”
She’d be in for the long haul, even if she had no idea what they were in for, and it was his job to teach her. “Do you know what sanctuary means?”
Her eyebrows drew together. “Only in a human context. Does it mean something special for werewolves?”
“It means everything.” He settled his head on the extra pillow and let his hand rest on her hip. “The cities are bad, like Zack said. Most of them have alphas who take what they want and don’t really give a damn about anything else. Sanctuaries are different. They’re about safety.”
After a moment she stretched out to face him, her hand tucked under her chin. “Is that what we’re going to do? Turn the farm into some sort of sanctuary?”
“If I don’t, the wolves from Memphis will keep coming after Zack and the others.”
“Oh.” A moment’s silence as her gaze roamed over his face. “And they’ll respect that? It seems too easy. Why wouldn’t everyone do it?”
“They’ll respect it because they have to. Because we’ll kill them if they don’t.”
Her breathing hitched, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m still not used to how good that feels to hear.”
He wouldn’t start any fights, but he damn sure wouldn’t sit by and let others get hurt or killed by his inaction. “We’ll do what it takes, Eden. I promised you—if your cousin came here in need, we’d help him, right?”
“You did.” When she opened her eyes again, the blue was lost to glowing gold. “Do you know what scares me most?”
Likely an intangible, something he couldn’t wrestle into submission with his bare hands. “Tell me.”
“I want to hurt them.” The words were barely a whisper, a rasped confession. “All those years of watching helplessly, but now I feel strong. And I want to find the men who harmed Zack and tear out their throats.”
A woman like her, who abhorred violence and had never lifted a hand to another in her life—no wonder it confused her. “Protection, Eden, not vengeance. Don’t do yourself the disservice of confusing them, okay?”
“It feels the same. It feels…vicious.”
Only time would teach her the visceral and very real difference between the impulses twisting her and wanton anger. For now, he pulled her tighter, tucked her face against his neck. “Sleep, and trust me. Just for now.”
The tension bled from her body a bit at a time until she was soft and pliable, cuddled up as close as she could be. Her breath tickled his throat as she sighed. “I do, you know. I trust you. Not just for now.”
“Good.” Trust, first, and then no more words. He’d show her, instead—what it meant to be a wolf, to be alpha.
What it meant to belong to him.
Chapter Five
Jay set the cardboard tray of coffee cups on the rickety table and stepped back. “Thanks for coming in so quickly. I’d say I owe you, but I think we already know that’s true from way back.”
“We all owe each other,” Colin drawled lazily as he claimed a cup. “No one keeps track except Shane, and he can’t help himself.”
“I keep track of plenty of things,” Shane retorted, his fingers still clicking on the keys of his laptop. “But not that.” He stopped typing and closed the machine. “You said this had to do with Memphis.”
“Memphis.” Jay took his own seat in the tiny kitchen. The smaller house on the farm was just that—small—but it was the only place where any privacy could be found, and they needed it for the discussion they were about to have. “Turns out, the rumors are true.”
Colin’s expression hardened into one of dark fury. “All of them?”
“Near as I can tell. A handful of enforcers got together, overthrew their alpha, and now they’re running wild down there. Rape, torture, you name it.”
Fletcher cut off Colin’s angry snarl with a hand on the other wolf’s arm. “If some of their victims are here, you’ve got to choke it down, Colin. I’d wager they can’t handle rage of any sort right now.”
“No, far from it.” Jay began to pass out the rest of the coffees. “The enforcers targeted a smaller pack in the city. Took their alpha when he wouldn’t fall in line—that’s Zack. With him out of the way, it was open season. They toyed with the ones that amused them and killed the ones that didn’t. So, right now, I have three top priorities. One for each of you. Shane—”
“I know.” He gave a small salute. “I’m nice and non-threatening, so I’ll be dealing with the refugees.”
“You’re the only one not likely to scare the shit out of them,” Jay agreed. “Colin, I need you to hit your contacts hard and find out everything you can about these assholes in Memphis. We need a game plan.”
Colin shook off Fletcher’s hand. “Fine,” he grated out. “But it better end with us wiping these bastards out of existence.”
Fletcher caught Jay’s gaze and held it for a moment before deliberately shifting the conversation. “So Colin’s making phone calls, and Shane’s petting and soothing. What’s that leave for me?”
“A different kind of babysitting.” The kind that would break Eden’s heart if she knew. “Zack. Who the hell knows what those bastards did to him? He’s had a few shaky moments—to be expected, I know, but we need to be sure that’s the extent of it. I don’t think he’d ever forgive me if I let him hurt someone.”
“All right, I can do that.” He lifted both eyebrows. “Do you need me to start signing checks while I’m at it? This place is looking pretty sparse, Ancheta.”
Fletcher could well afford it, but Jay shook his head. “I’ll hold you to that when we figure out something long-term. If we’re not generating some kind of income, money’s a moot point.”
“Paying it back’s a moot point,” Fletcher argued, leaning forward to brace his elbows on the table. “Having it’s damn important, whether you’re generating income or not. Come on, man. They deserve a few creature comforts.”
“And I’m going to handle it. I’ll take plenty of your money, Fletch, believe me, but I’ll do it later.”
“Not even for essentials?” he pressed.
“Maybe,” Jay finally allowed. “Drop it?”
Fletcher didn’t back down the way Colin or Shane might, but after a moment he nodded, indicating that he was willing to step aside and recognize Jay’s place as leader. For now.
“This house is where we’re staying?” Colin asked, filling the silence.
“Yeah.” Better for everyone if the strong newcomers stayed separate from everyone else—at least for a while. “There’s one more thing I’ve got to say. I don’t think I need to, but I’d hate for there to be misunderstandings later.”
Fletcher’s gaze turned considerably more wary. “And that is?”
“The women,” he answered bluntly. “They’ve been through a lot, and it’s sheer instinct for them to look for something solid now. Something safe. But it’s a bad idea.”
Leave it to Colin to call him out on perceived hypocrisy. “The snarly blonde’s not from Memphis. Eden is Zack’s cousin, and I’ve known her for years. She was just turned and has no Guide, obviously, so it’s up to me.”
Colin sat back and ran a hand over his dark hair. “Ah, shit. Well, that explains why she feels so…volatile. Have you thought about getting someone down here to perform an official Guide-Initiate bonding?”
Shane opened his laptop again. “I have a friend who’d do it in a heartbeat.”
Jay rose with a nod. “We need Guide magic,” he agreed, “not to mention some heavy-duty wards around the farm. Nothing too fancy, but I’m betting they’ll take some time.”
“You need a pack witch,” Fletcher said quietly. “All the safest sanctuaries have them. That is what you want to do here, isn’t it? Sanctuary?”
It was still hard to say it out loud, to commit to such a monumental undertaking. As a cop, he was responsible for people’s safety all the time, every day. But that responsibility ended when potential danger did. They needed him for moments—sometimes the worst of their lives, but moments nonetheless.
He’d never been needed as an alpha.
“Sanctuary,” he confirmed. “That’s what I’m doing. We’ll have to declare it, and that means going to Memphis. Part of me agrees with Colin, you know. Let ’em come here expecting to find Zack and the others…and find us instead. But the rest of me knows it’d be too traumatic. If even one of them got past us—” He shuddered. It was exactly what had happened to Eden. “It’s too risky.”
Colin hesitated for a moment before nodding. Fletcher grinned and lifted his coffee. “A sanctuary right on top of a human town. You’ve got big brass balls, my friend.”
Jay snorted. “Why do you think we need those wards so damn bad? Find me a witch, Shane.”
“Done.” He grinned over the top of the monitor. “Stella has to make arrangements and check with her alpha, but she’s going to get back to me by the end of the day.”
