She felt like an open pit of sorrow and bleakness. She wished she could fall into that pit and disappear.
The bedroom door opened a few inches, and Dr. Fox slipped in. He went to the monitor and looked at the readout, shaking his head a little.
“Am I going to live?”
He glanced over. “You’re awake.”
She turned her head away. “Yes.”
He came over to stand by the bed. “You’re going to live. You were poisoned again. A different, much stronger toxin. Quite a bit faster acting. I don’t know how it didn’t stop your heart. Perhaps the thing that you think protects you from the sun actually protects your life.”
She didn’t really care about herself at the moment. “How’s Rico?”
“As of yesterday, he’s doing very well. He was dehydrated and had some severe burns from the silver, along with some bruises, but those will heal.”
“Good. Glad to hear—wait.” She looked at him again as his words processed. “As of yesterday? How long has it been?”
“Two days.” He clasped his hands in front of him. “How are you feeling?”
That was easy to answer. “Miserable.” She sniffed. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, but her emotions were paper-thin.
“Physically? Or emotionally?”
She swallowed at the knot forming in her throat. “Emotionally, but also not all that hot physically.”
“Some of that emotion is the toxin. The fae seem to love that kind of psychological warfare. But I’m sure some of it is also because you’re grieving.”
She pressed her head back into the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “The queen is dead.” Her voice wavered. “Because of me.”
“That’s not true. Yes, it’s a terrible loss for the vampire nation, but no one blames you. You didn’t force Artemis to show up. Only a fool goes into battle acting like they think they’re bulletproof. And at her age, she knew the risks better than most.” He paused for a moment. “It might even be said that she planned this.”
“What?” Donna pushed to a sitting position.
“Forget I said anything. Please, lie down. You need to rest.
“Dr. Fox, explain.”
He shrugged. “She’s now a martyr. With her death, Artemis made it open season on the fae. Before this, a vampire killing a fae would have sparked a war.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Now, there is already a bonfire blazing. Another death or two or ten won’t change how hot it burns.”
Donna shook her head. “You really think she’d do that?”
“With Artemis, anything is possible.” He smiled. “Please don’t feel responsible.”
She let out a long sigh. “It’s hard not to. Even if she allowed herself to be a martyr, my actions created the opportunity.”
“I understand.”
“Was anyone else killed?”
“I believe a wolf died. A good number of injuries as well.”
The news didn’t help her mood. “Any word on Ishalan? The fae who helped us? I think he was pretty badly injured.” If not dead. She didn’t know how resilient fae were, so she couldn’t guess how he’d fared after his treatment at Dredward’s hands.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know. Would you like to see Charlie? Or Pierce? Or your sister? Or anyone else? Everyone’s here.”
“My sister is still here? After two days?” Donna nodded. “Send her in. Please.”
“I will. And now that you’re awake, you should feed.”
“I can do that with the toxin inside me?”
“The toxin’s been mostly flushed out of your system. You’re just recovering from the effects at this point. Feeding will speed that up.”
“Okay. But just from a glass. I’m not up for more than that right now.”
“Understandable.” He glanced at the monitor one more time before he left.
A few moments later, the door opened again, and Cammie stuck her head in. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
Cammie entered, wearing jeans and a simple gray sweatshirt, her hair back in a low ponytail. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ll live. Apparently. I’m surprised you stayed. I thought you’d go back to the convent.”
Her smile was strained as she sat on the edge of the bed. She smoothed a wrinkle in the coverlet. “I can’t go back.”
“Why not?”
She glanced at her hands. “The order forbade me to return.” She looked up again, smiling tightly. “I pretty much knew that would happen.”
“Wait, back up. You knew that would happen? Why?”
“Because I came to help you.”
“Oh, Cammie. Can you protest the decision? That’s ridiculous. There’s no way you deserve—”
“It’s okay. I knew what I was doing when I made my choice.”
Donna’s heart clenched at the sacrifice her sister had made on her behalf. “You’re staying here with me, then.”
Cammie took a breath and smiled. “That’s a very kind offer, but I don’t know how it would go over for the vampire governor of New Jersey to have a former Venari hunter living with her.”
“Screw how it goes over. You’re my sister.”
“Donna—”
“Camille, I’m not arguing with you. You’re staying here. There’s plenty of room.”
“I’ll stay for a little bit. But just until I figure things out and get my own place. I have some money.”
“How much could you possibly have?”
“Not much, but—”
“And what will you do to support yourself?”
“I have skills.”
“I know you do. But I don’t see a lot of ads in the paper for vampire hunters.”
Cammie laughed. “You’re just looking in the wrong papers.”
Donna could tell Cammie meant that, but nothing really surprised her anymore. “So you’d freelance?”
“It’s a possibility.”
“Wow. I didn’t know that was a thing.”
Charlie peeked in. “Governor? I have your dinner.”
“Come on in.”
Charlie came to the bedside and handed Donna a big, warm mug. “Good to see you awake.”
“Good to be awake.” She took the mug and drank the contents down without stopping. The surge of power and well-being was almost instant. “That definitely helped. You said dinner. What time is it?”
“Around 5 p.m.” Charlie answered. “Are you going to rest some more?”
“No.” Donna pulled the covers off and swung her feet to the floor. Someone had put her in a nightshirt. She still had her underwear on, but not her bra. “Someone got me out of my battle gear, I see.”
“I did,” Cammie said.
“Thanks. Charlie, will you send Dr. Fox back in? I want this IV out, then I’m going to take a shower, and then I want a full briefing on everything I missed.”
Charlie nodded. “I’ll be in the office waiting.”
“I’m assuming you have things to brief me on?”
“Oh,” Charlie said. “More things than you can imagine.”
“Good or bad or—” Donna held up her hand. “Don’t tell me. It can wait until after the shower. Baby steps.”
“I’ll go get Dr. Fox.” She hesitated. “Will made it, by the way.”
“Will?” Donna gasped. “Will Ferris? I actually turned him? I thought that was a dream. He survived?”
“He did. You sired your first vampire. Congratulations. See you in the office.” She left.
Donna shook her head. “I made another vampire. How do you like that?”
“It was bound to happen sooner or later.” Cammie stood. “I’m just glad you didn’t die.”
“Me too. I’m really sorry you got kicked out of the order. But I appreciate you coming to help me more than I have words to express. I was feeling pretty sad about how things were between us.”
“Same,” Cammie said. “That’s why I made the decision I did. You didn’t choose to be a vampire, but I did choo
se to be a Venari. And so I made another choice. I don’t regret it.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” Cammie grinned. “Use extra soap. You’re pretty ripe.”
“Thanks.” Donna smiled.
Cammie laughed. “Just teasing.”
Dr. Fox entered.
Cammie hooked her thumb toward the door. “See you out there.”
“Yep.” Just like that, things had returned to normal between them. But Donna suspected that it would take Cammie a bit to adjust to this change. How could it not? She’d been a nun, and apparently a vampire hunter, for nearly all her adult life.
Dr. Fox unhooked her from everything. “You’re free. How are you feeling since you fed?”
“Good.”
“Leg still hurts, I’d imagine.”
“It does. But that can’t last forever.”
“Maybe another day or two. If you don’t need me…”
She sat up a little straighter. “You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you? Go home. I’m sure you need some rest. And your family must miss you.”
He smiled. “Call if anything changes.”
“I will. But it won’t. I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t overdo it. You still need rest.”
“Right. Order received, loud and clear.”
With a little wave, he left.
She got up and walked gingerly into the bathroom, babying her leg. She flicked on the light, almost afraid to look at herself. Despite having just fed, her skin was pale, and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair looked oddly dull too.
She ran her hands through it, combing it into place.
A few small, gray flakes drifted free.
Ash.
Donna leaned on the counter and cried.
Chapter Twenty-one
She stood under the hot water for an inordinate amount of time, as though the deluge could somehow wash away the pain of Artemis’s death. It couldn’t, obviously. Just like it couldn’t remove the purple and yellow bruise that stretched from her hip to a few inches above her knee. The whole thing was tender to the touch, although the puncture wound on her hip had healed.
She soaped up anyway. Pain was a reminder she was alive.
She was also bone-tired. There was no other way to describe it. Not tired of being governor, but tired of all the chaos. The weight on her shoulders had never felt heavier. Her life with the mob hadn’t been this hard. Had it?
Maybe that was hindsight through rose-colored glasses. But boy, could she use a week or two when the most stressful thing that happened was deciding which TV show to binge-watch.
She finally dried off, got dressed, and went to the office so Charlie could bring her up to speed. She ran into her admin halfway down the hall, distress marring her pretty face. Not a good sign. “What’s wrong?”
“Governor, we have a problem.”
“Of course we do. We were running low.” Donna sighed. “What now?”
“Fitzhugh has filed a formal complaint against Pierce for punching him at Francine’s party and against you for allowing it.”
Donna just stared at her for a moment. “That was almost a week ago. You have got to be kidding me.”
“I wish I was.”
She did her best to stay calm. Even took a deep, cleansing breath. But her leg was throbbing, and the queen’s death continued to weigh on her, and she was just about done. “Does he know about Artemis?”
Charlie nodded. “That’s pretty common knowledge now.”
“I see. Why do I think these two things are somehow connected?”
Charlie’s mouth thinned to a hard line. “Because you’re a smart woman, and you know what an opportunist Fitzhugh is. I believe they’re connected as well. The queen’s death has left a powerful vacancy. One that Fitzhugh would very much like to cram himself into as quickly as possible.”
Donna rolled her eyes. “Can you imagine him as the vampire king? That wouldn’t be good for anyone. Except him.” She sighed. “But why come after us?”
“All I can guess is that he wants to discredit you while trying to make himself look like the victim. Earn some sympathy votes. All while causing you trouble.”
Donna snorted. “I can barely handle being governor. If he thinks I have any desire to be queen, he’s a dumbass. Well, a bigger one than he is currently.”
Charlie laughed. “No argument from me on that assessment. But I have to say you’re doing an exceptional job as governor. But the truth is, it’s unlikely you’d be offered Artemis’s position anyway.”
Donna exhaled, not realizing she’d been holding her breath. “Good. You know what? Get Fitzy on the phone. It’s time for us to have a come-to-Jesus meeting.”
Charlie’s brows lifted as amusement bent her mouth. “Right away, Governor.” She turned and went back to the office.
Donna followed and got punched in the gut by an unexpected sight as she walked in. The armory doors were open, and Artemis’s gold sword had been hung on the back wall. It gleamed softly in the light. Almost like a memorial.
A soft half sob left Donna’s throat before she could stop herself.
Charlie looked over. “I’m so sorry. I meant to close those.”
Donna swallowed. “It’s okay.” She walked closer. “I didn’t know that her sword had come back with me.”
“It took Temo and Pierce both to pry your hand open to take the sword from you. I cleaned it and thought it should go somewhere safe.”
Donna stared at the gorgeous, deadly weapon. The blade was worked with a faintly Egyptian pattern. Or maybe it was something older. She nodded. “It should. Until it can be returned. To wherever it belongs.”
“It’s the royal sword, so it’ll go to whoever takes over.”
Donna frowned. “I really don’t want to see that in Fitzhugh’s hands.”
“I don’t think there’s a chance that could happen. Although…who knows?”
“How do they pick the new king or queen?”
“The Immortus Concilio will nominate a panel of possible successors. Then the Prime makes the final decision. I’m sure they’re already squirreled away somewhere, coming up with a list.”
Donna arched her brows. “The Prime?”
“He’s the oldest known vampire in existence. Some claim he’s the grandsire of almost every vampire. And he’s the final word when it comes to big decisions like this. Any major vampire decision, really. He’s essentially the leader of the entire vampire nation. Legend says if he was ever to be killed, vampires would cease to exist. But legend also says his age has made him truly immortal.”
“What’s his name?”
“He just goes by Prime.”
“Why am I just hearing about him?”
“For one thing, he keeps a very low profile. I don’t think more than a handful of people outside of the council have ever seen him or even know where he lives. Although I would have thought Claudette or Artemis would have mentioned him to you. Okay, maybe not Claudette, but someone. Pierce, maybe? But then, we have been a little preoccupied.”
“True statement. So who do you think the council will nominate? And who do you think the Prime will pick?”
“There are a few likely candidates, but typically, he chooses the oldest vampire. Not always, but most of the time. Makes sense. The older the vampire is, the more powerful and skilled they are.”
“I can see that. I haven’t even learned how to glamour people yet.” Donna took a seat at her desk. “Who are the oldest governors?”
Charlie tapped a finger against her lip. “Governor Joseph of Idaho has been ruling for a little over three hundred years. I’d say he’s got a good shot. Or maybe the governor of Hawaii. She’s also close to three hundred, but typically the council picks someone in the contiguous forty-eight states. The oldest governor is Governor Kitka from Alaska at nearly four hundred years, but he could have been king before Artemis and turned it down. I doubt he’ll be asked again because of that. In fact
, he might be why they only ask governors in the lower forty-eight.” She shrugged. “But he might get a second chance. You never know with the council.”
“You really know your governors.”
“It’s my job.”
“I’m glad, because that’s all great information. Where’s Fitzhugh in that ranking?”
“He’s a possibility, but a very distant one. Not as distant as you are, however.” Charlie smiled as she went back to her desk. “You have nothing to worry about as far as being chosen. You’re far too new.”
“For once, that’s a positive. Speaking of sires, I should probably get in touch with Will. See how he’s doing.”
“Daisy called this morning to say he’d had a good night. They’ve been keeping him well fed so there’s no danger of…you know.”
“Yeah, I do. What about the psychic connection that’s supposed to exist between a sire and their…child? Is that the right word? Seems odd to think of that burly biker as my child.”
“But he is, in a way. And yes, that’s the right word. The psychic connection should be there. It’s very possible he hasn’t used it because he knows you’re also recovering. He probably doesn’t have a reason to use it either. I can definitely let him and his daughters know you’re up and about now, though.”
Donna nodded. “Do that. I’d like to go see him soon. I do not want to leave him dangling like Claudette did with me.”
Charlie’s smile was small but sweet. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. Will and his daughters know as much about vampires as anyone. I doubt anything about this turning will surprise him.”
“I guess that’s a good thing.” Donna gestured at the phone. “Go ahead and get Fitzhugh. I want this dealt with now.”
Charlie picked up the phone and dialed. “Charlene Rollins calling on behalf of Governor Barrone. Is Governor Fitzhugh available? Very good. Transferring to Governor Barrone now.” She gave Donna a nod.
Donna picked up her phone. A little click could be heard, then Hawke Fitzhugh came on.
“Calling to apologize?”
“You’re a broken record, you know that? No, I’m not calling to apologize, because I haven’t done anything that requires an apology. Instead, let’s jump right to the elephant in the room. Why are you filing charges against Pierce? You earned that punch, and you know it.”
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