Superheroes Suck

by Jamie Zakian

  “You’re distracting me, and I have so much to do.”

  “Look at all that.” Max pointed at the table beside Shay, which overflowed with an assortment of mini containment grenades and laser, plasma, and sonic guns.

  “You’ve got a huge pile of weapons. How many do you need?”

  “All of them.” Shay gave Max one of those duh glares, and he mirrored it right back at her.

  “Who texted you?” Max tried to sound casual, but totally didn’t.

  “It’s my boyfriend,” Shay said without bothering to look at her cell phone.

  “You have a boyfriend?”

  The levels of shock in Max’s voice should be enough to spark Shay’s temper but the look on his face, like he’d burned a hole through a gold condenser, balanced the rage scales.

  “No.” Shay picked up her cell phone, unlocking its screen. “I don’t have a boyfriend. It’s just Evie. She wants to meet for dinner, but I’m gonna have her bring Chinese here.”

  It wouldn’t be anyone but Evie. Ollie had been the only other person to text her constantly, and he still refused to speak with her. She really missed him, but she understood why he stayed away. She’d only lived the life of a superhero for a few days and she’d almost died once, got abducted by supervillains, and let a murdered girl’s soul control her body.

  “Did you dump the guy, when you got famous?”

  Shay stopped texting and looked at Max. “What guy? There was no guy.”

  “Like, recently, or at all?”

  In Shay’s experience, the best approach at purging the air of unwanted questions was to ignore them until they faded away. With that in mind, she lowered her gaze to her cell phone’s screen and typed very slowly.

  “You’ve … never been on a date?” Max asked, like the concept was absurd to him. “Or to a school dance?”

  Shay tucked her cell phone into her pocket and looked down at the inventions on her workbench. “I’ve been busy.”

  “Doing what, living under a rock?”

  “Following Evie to your battle scenes and watching her clean up your messes.”

  Max’s grin dropped. He looked stunned, hurt, as if he’d been slapped, which was how it felt for Shay to speak such harsh words.

  “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

  “No. I …” Max rose from the couch. The magazine in his lap hit the ground, and the hotshot superhero actually flinched. “You’re right to be angry. Your childhood was stolen. I guess, I never realized how much destruction my powers can cause.”

  “I’m not angry.” Shay reached for Max then quickly drew back. “I was just teasing. I have a warped sense of humor.”

  She despised her big stupid mouth, more than ever. If Max’s frown drooped any lower, she’d have to hug him if only to quell her own guilty conscience.

  “I brought FroYos,” Hetal said, walking into the lab with a large bag. “And I bumped into Alexie in the lobby.”

  Shay moved circuit boards around on her workbench, pretending to look busy. “Alexie’s here now. You can take off,” she said, glancing at Max. “I’m sure you have things and stuff to do.”

  “Right.” Max’s shoulders slumped. “Alexie—”

  “Go,” Alexie said. “Do whatever you need to. I’ll hang here.”

  Shay kept her stare low as Max walked by her workbench. Once the thump of his boots drifted down the hallway outside her lab, both her heart and tight muscles sunk. She had wanted him to leave, until he actually left. Now, she wished he’d come running back in a whirl of flames.

  “So, no FroYo?” Hetal asked, waving a small cup under Shay’s nose.

  “Yeah FroYo.” A little binge of sugar and carbs was exactly what Shay needed to get her mind off Max and back on high-tech weaponry. “I hope it has sprinkles.”

  Shay got through half her frozen yogurt, and inventoried most of her weapons, when Alexie jumped up from a chair at the computer desk.

  “Oh. Sorry, Alexie,” Shay said, holding out her cup. “Did you want some frozen yogurt?”

  “No. I actually forgot I’m supposed to be somewhere.” Alexie hurried toward the door, without a glance to Shay. “You’re good on your own, right?”

  “Yeah.” Shay grabbed a little steel ball off her workbench. “I’ve got enough firepower to take down the Deathstar, and the precision to hit the target from afar.”

  Hetal snickered but Alexie just stared at Shay from the doorway.

  “We’re good,” Shay said, placing the highly lethal weapon back on the table. “Evie should be here soon with some grub so—”

  Alexie waved Shay off, hurrying out the lab’s door, and Shay shrank down.

  “That was rude,” she said, glancing at Hetal.

  “Superheroes,” Hetal muttered as she dug through the cluster of wire harnesses on the back workbench. “They’re so mysterious.”

  Lucius stood up straight. A hint of vanilla filled the air, which was impossible while two levels underground and locked in the room Cyrus turned into a laboratory. It was Lexie. Her essence wrapped around him like a hug, and the scent of her hair filled his lungs every time she drew near. He closed his eyes, inhaled the sweet scent, and let his body travel to her.

  A cool breeze struck his skin and he opened his eyes. He’d teleported much easier than before. An hour ago, when Alexie’s sharp vibes disrupted his thoughts, it took him three attempts to transport from the bowels of the asylum to the hillside of weeds just outside the abandoned building. It had only taken him seconds this time.

  He stood in front of Alexie, the siren who’d just lured him in from the sea. The shine in her electric-blue eyes, and snug fit of her sparkly suit put the sunset over the harbor behind her to shame. Every time he gazed at her he wanted to smile, but villains didn’t have the luxury of letting out cheesy grins.

  “Now, you can tell me how you do that,” Alexie said, thrusting a stack of papers into Lucius’s hands.

  “What’s all this, your memoirs?”

  Alexie glowered. “The names, addresses you wanted.”

  Lucius thumbed through the pages, smirked, then ripped them in half.

  “Hey. What the hell?”

  “I already have this information.” He tossed the torn pages to the wind. “I just wanted to see if you’d give it to me.”

  A snicker flew from Alexie’s lips, and her body loosened. “Does that mean I passed your stupid test?”

  “The first one,” Lucius said, chuckling when Alexie groaned.

  “Did I at least earn the right to know how you got the ability to teleport?”

  He’d been hoping Alexie would press that matter. The woman didn’t know it, but she just set herself up for the second test.

  Lucius wiped his face clear, leaving only a touch of malice in his stare. “Every soul I devoured unlocks a new ability inside me. There are many, many things I can do now.”

  He searched Alexie’s face for fear or disgust, but found pure intrigue. A person couldn’t fake that level of interest, which meant she’d aced the second test with flying colors.

  “Well.” Alexie slinked closer to Lucius and glided her hand up his chest. “Aren’t you lucky? All you have to do is slaughter everyone on the planet, and you can have a whole bunch of abilities you don’t really need. Maybe, if you get enough, your skin can stretch out and burst like a giant gooey piñata.”

  “Hilarious.” Lucius pushed Alexie’s hand off his chest. “Don’t get your righteous little spank pants in a bunch. I don’t plan on absorbing any more souls, except Jenna and Max obviously.”

  “Obviously.” Alexie strolled past Lucius and peeked through one of the asylum’s broken windows. “What is your plan, assuming you have one?”

  “I guess I can show you,” Lucius said, blocking Alexie’s view. “Since I don’t mind killing you.”

  Alexie stood up straight, her fists clenched.

  “If you betray me, that is.” Lucius grabbed Ale
xie by the arm and pulled her toward him. Her body crashed against his chest, which knocked a tiny gasp from her lungs. “Cyrus is gonna be pissed when he sees you.”

  “You didn’t tell him?”

  Lucius concentrated on Cyrus. Time slowed, but the world raced before his eyes. Colors and shapes blended, streaking by in blurry swirls. His boots thumped onto the steel grate of their secret lab, deep in the belly of the old asylum. Alexie swayed in his grasp, and Cyrus jumped up from a workbench.

  “What the …” Cyrus grabbed a large pipe wrench and lifted his arm to swing it at Alexie.

  “Stop.” Lucius flicked his wrist and the wrench flew from Cyrus’s clutch, sailed across the room, and crashed against the wall. “Lexie has decided to join our side.”

  “Good for her,” Cyrus said in a sneer. “Too bad we don’t want her. I’ll wipe her memory then you can drop her ass in a volcano.”

  “I’m sorry,” Alexie said, gazing at Cyrus.

  “Sorry?” Cyrus rushed forward, stopping inches from Alexie. His fingers curled, his arms twitching at his sides. “Sorry for what—ignoring me when I asked for help, walking out on me when things got rough? Or is your pathetic apology for zapping me with two lightning bolts the day you broke my heart?”

  Alexie didn’t waver. Her gaze stuck to Cyrus, remaining blank yet soft. “I’m sorry you can’t act like a grown-up for five seconds.”

  Lucius burst out laughing, and Cyrus growled.

  “Enjoy it while you can, brother.” Cyrus backed away, yet his hard stare stayed fixed on Alexie. “Because she’s a treacherous bitch.”

  The insult didn’t faze Alexie. In fact, she nodded. “Read my mind if you don’t believe me.”

  “I already tried and can’t, which proves there’s something off about you.”

  Lucius grabbed Alexie by the sides of her arms. “Why can’t he read your mind?”

  “I don’t know.” Alexie wiggled her shoulders, unable to break free from Lucius’s tight grip. “Ask his emotions, they’re always clouding his powers.”

  Cyrus waved his hand, as if to swat the notion from the air. “There’s nothing wrong with my powers.”

  “Try again,” Lucius said. He released Alexie in a shove, pushing her toward Cyrus. “Concentrate.”

  Cyrus stared into Alexie’s eyes and she didn’t back down.

  “Nothing,” Cyrus said in utter shock.

  “Yeah right.” Alexie crossed her arms. “You can see the truth, see I’m in this with you two for real. You just don’t want to admit it.”

  “The only thing I see is your smug face, and I’d like to punch it.” Cyrus lifted his finger, pointing it at Alexie. “You did something, to keep me from your mind.”

  “Enough.” Lucius stepped between the two. His wide body, and the thud of his boots, stopped the whiny complains.

  This was ridiculous. He was a visionary, a mastermind who’d change the world, not the babysitter to two privileged super-brats.

  “It doesn’t matter if she’s lying. I have more power than anybody who ever walked this Earth. Let Max and Simon come. Let them all come. No one can stop me now.”

  Alexie staggered back from Lucius. “You need to tone down the diabolical a notch.”

  “What, too much?” Lucius asked through a smile.

  Shay dropped her screwdriver as the scent of greasy goodness surrounded her. Evie walked across the lab and set her tote bag on an empty table beside Shay.

  “Ooh. Ling Fi’s, my favorite,” Shay said, dragging over a stool.

  Evie unloaded little white boxes, stopping when Hetal crept out from behind a machine. “Oh, I forgot Hetal was here.”

  “It’s okay. She can share mine.”

  “Actually.” Hetal took off her lab coat, tossed it on a desk, and picked up her backpack. “I’m gonna head home for a bit, grab a shower, change of clothes.”

  “Take your time.” Shay was happy Hetal finally decided to take a breather. The woman looked exhausted, more so than last night, and the day before. “You deserve a break.”

  Hetal waved as she walked from the lab.

  “Good,” Evie said, sitting across from Shay. “Now I can have you all to myself. Did you make a lot of weapons today?”

  “Where’s the sweet and sour chicken?” Shay checked the empty bag, as though that would make the food materialize. “You always get it for me.”

  Evie opened a few cartons, shaking her head. “They must’ve forgotten it.”

  “I’ll just have some of your lo mein.” Shay slid the chopsticks between her fingers, picking at the thin noodles. “Where you been all day? Simon texted me five times looking for you. Are you guys … is something going on between you two?”

  “No. I have a boyfriend.”

  “You do!” Shay slammed her chopsticks down onto the table. She could no longer eat, not while gawking at Evie. “Since when?”

  Evie set a box of rice on the table, pushing it aside. “For a while. I guess I never mentioned that, to you.”

  “Umm, no. Who is he? What’s his name?” Shay leaned back to stare Evie down, only to see Evie actually was wearing plain gray sweats. “And, what’s up with the sweat suit? Are you having some sort of identity crisis?”

  “So, sweatpants aren’t my thing?” Evie let out a long breath, almost a growl.

  “Good one. Where did you even get them? I’ve never seen you wear anything that frumpy before. Hey, how do I even know you’re you right now?”

  Shay waited for Evie to play along, spill some secret only the two of them shared, but her sister just glared. A coldness overtook Evie’s eyes, one Shay had never glimpsed before.

  “You got me.” Evie jumped to her feet, slowly circling the table. “Your sister’s smart, feeding me crap information. I might thank her with a red-hot poker to the thigh when I get back to her cell.”

  “Who are you?” Shay hopped off her stool and backed toward the lab’s door. “Where’s my sister?”

  “I am your sister.”

  Shay stared at the woman who wore her sister’s face, but it wasn’t Evie. This person disrupted the air with their jagged vibes. She should have seen through this impostor the second they attempted to masquerade in her sister’s life. Max could tell something was off with Evie, even Hetal noticed, but not her. She’d been too busy playing scientist with all her shiny new tech and hadn’t realized she’d been chatting it up with a stranger.

  It might be too late, but she could see now. She could see a fake Evie walking right toward her.

  The needle on Shay’s fear meter spiked and she ran for the lab’s door. Fingers curled into her hair, yanking. She cried out as the fake Evie pulled her away from the door by her hair.

  A fist slammed against Shay’s gut and she fell forward. Her knees crashed to the hard floor, which sent ripples of pain throughout her body.

  The fake Evie smiled as Shay coughed on her knees, gasping for breath. She didn’t think her sister’s face could twist to form such cruelty.

  “Please, don’t,” Shay cried out as she shrunk down, away from Evie.

  “Don’t what?” Evie picked up a metal pipe, lifting it high. “Don’t do this?”

  Instinct brought Shay’s hands up, to block her face, and the pipe Evie swung bashed against her elbow. A wave of sharp prickles spawned from the hit and spread through her bones. Before a scream could pass her lips, the edge of the pipe cracked her cheek.

  The bright lights of the room flashed to black. Shay fought to keep her eyes open but a heavy blanket of darkness fell over her, blocking the sound of her sister’s laughter from her ears.

  “Shay, Shay!”

  The voice traveled through thick fog, dragging in slow motion inside Shay’s head. It sounded like Max—like a stretched out, jumbled, panicky version of Max. Words and noises mixed with the throb in her temples. She forced her eyes to open, and white light rushed in to slap her already pounding brain.

  People su
rrounded Shay. Their faces were blurry, but they were her friends. At least, on the surface.

  “Can you hear me? Shay. Look at me.” Max’s voice, and his frightened eyes cut through the haze that fogged Shay’s vision.

  “There’s blood everywhere,” Hetal cried out.

  “I know a doctor we can call,” Simon said, kneeling beside Shay.

  “She doesn’t need a doctor.” Max took off his hoodie and pressed it against the side of Shay’s face. “Head wounds bleed a lot.”

  “I’m okay.” Shay reached out and Max’s hand slid into her own, holding tight.

  “What if it’s not you?” she said in a slur. “None of you could be you.”

  “Oh, God. She’s brain damaged,” Hetal shrieked, even louder and in a higher pitch than before.

  “I’m calling 911,” Simon said.

  “Stop,” Max yelled. “Just give her a second.”

  Max hovered over Shay, cradling her arm to his chest. “Do you know where you are?”

  “My lab.” Shay sat up and a wave of dizziness drove her back down to the floor.

  “Don’t try to move yet.” Max lifted his sweater and cringed. “There’s a long gash slicing all the way down your cheek.”

  “Don’t tell her that,” Hetal shouted.

  “She can handle it.”

  Max wiped streaks of blood from Shay’s face. Each swipe he took at her skin scraped like broken glass. She didn’t know if she could handle it. The pain radiating in her head, and the series of events that led to said pain, were too much for any one person to bear.

  “Who did this to you?” Max asked.

  “I’m pulling up the security footage now,” Simon said while typing on his cell phone.

  Shay held onto Max and pulled herself to a sitting position on the floor. Once the room stopped pulsing and the vomit decided to stay in her stomach, she let go of Max’s shirt.

  “It was Evie. Except, it wasn’t Evie.” She laid her hand atop her cheek. It really had been split open. She lowered her hand from her face—not because her fingertips slipped on sticky blood and torn skin, but because the throbbing sting in her cheek amplified when touched.