by Robyn Carr
Once they were underway, Ashley said, “I don’t know why we bother. She can’t fix this.”
“We bother because you could use the support,” Gina said. “It’s hard to get through stuff like this alone. You need a team.”
“I just need to go away….”
This was their first trip to Simone Ross’s office during regular business hours and there was actually a receptionist behind the desk, a young woman with green hair and eyebrow and lip piercings. She didn’t even ask who they were—she used the intercom to buzz Simone, who came out immediately.
It wasn’t until Simone and Ashley were behind closed doors that Gina realized she hadn’t called Stu! Her boss had no idea she wasn’t coming back to work and by now the lunch crowd was beginning to arrive. When he answered she said, “Stu, I’m so sorry!” And then she burst into tears.
Eight
“Do you feel like telling me what’s going on?” Simone asked Ashley.
Looking down into her lap, Ashley said, “Didn’t my mom tell you?”
“Bits and pieces, but I’m interested in your version. Your mother is afraid, Ashley. She cares about you so much. Seems you’re getting picked on. Exploited. Or something.”
She lifted her eyes. “Picked on?” she asked, her eyes nothing more than swollen slits. She told her about the picture. “Downy’s girlfriend sent it to everyone in the world! Including all the kids at school and half the adults in town including the football coach. She put it up on Facebook. It was taken down, but not before the whole world saw it and shared it.”
“What about this is bothering you the most?” Simone asked.
“All of it,” she said.
“Help me out with some feelings here,” Simone entreated. “Hurt? Embarrassed? Angry? Sad?”
“All that,” she said. “Totally humiliated. And they believe it. People believe it.”
“So—your response to that is to do what?”
She thought for a moment that stretched out. “I called Downy to tell him how mean that was, but he didn’t pick up. He won’t answer my calls or texts. Not for any reason.”
“And what did you do next?”
She shrugged. “Cried. Fell asleep. Woke up and cried.”
“Have you gone to school? Talked to friends?”
Ashley shook her head. “I can’t.” Her voice was so small.
“Has it occurred to you that you’re grieving?”
“You said I was, so yes. I guess.”
“Have you been angry?” Simone asked. “Have you felt like this can’t be true?”
She just shook her head. “When you see it, you know it’s true. If I hadn’t smashed my phone, I could show you. It’s horrible. I know Downy wants to break up, I get it. But why would he let someone do this to me? Even if he hates me?”
“Tell me something, Ashley. Are you going to lay in bed forever? Are you going to get up at some point? Put on clean clothes? Call your friends? Go to school? Maybe go to a party or dance, like you used to?”
She shook her head dismally. “None of that stuff matters anymore….”
“Hold out your arm, like this,” Simone said, demonstrating. “I’m going to pinch you a little bit—just to look at the elasticity of your skin.”
“Why?” Ashley asked even as she held up her arm.
“Just to check something. I can see from your eyes that your face is swollen and… Ah, you’ve been crying so much and refusing food and drink so much that you’re dehydrated. I’m going to get you a bottled water.”
“I don’t really want anything,” Ashley said. “My stomach has been upset.”
“I know,” Simone said, but she got up, anyway. She went to the cupboard behind her desk and brought Ashley some water. “Try a few sips, please. I need to talk to your mother for just a minute. You’ll be all right here for a few minutes, won’t you?”
Ashley shrugged before she nodded. “What for?”
“I’ll explain. Just give me a second and try to get some of that water down. Okay?”
“What if I just throw up again?”
“Trash can, darling. It’s right there. I’ll be right back.”
Simone went into the outer office and Gina was immediately on her feet. “Sit down, Gina.” Simone took the chair beside her. “Ashley is showing symptoms of depression and I think she needs medication. If she were older, I’d just get her a script, but given her age and the severity of her symptoms, I want to admit her under the care of a psychiatrist. She’s dehydrated and despondent. I gave her a bottle of water, but she’s uncertain she can keep it down. She might need an IV, which I can’t administer.”
“Depression? How bad do you think it is?”
“She’s isolating, not eating, sleeping all the time. She hasn’t bathed. She’s dirty and doesn’t care. This isn’t like her, is it?”
Gina shook her head. Her lips quivered. “That damn Downy,” she whispered.
“The reason I want to admit her, Gina—this could be an emotional reaction to a bad breakup or it could be classic depression, which usually presents between the ages of fifteen and thirty. Is there depression in your family? In the extended family?”
Gina looked down. “I’m not sure. I’ll ask my mother, but we’ve been a family of women. My dad left when I was just five. I was pregnant at fifteen, delivered Ashley at sixteen and my boyfriend…” Tears came to her eyes for the first time in so many years. “Long gone,” she said weakly.
“It does run in families sometimes. I’m not saying she’s suffering from clinical depression but it’s entirely possible. If you can check with your mother and even Ashley’s paternal biological family, it would give us more information. Meanwhile, I want to take her to city hospital in North Bend. We can take her together, check her in. She’ll be safe there.” Simone reached for Gina’s hand. “I don’t want to take any risks here. She could be a danger to herself.”
“You think she’d kill herself?” Gina asked.
“I don’t know. I worry that she might let herself die if there’s not an intervention. There’s really no point in risking this. Come with me to explain all this to Ashley. Then I should make a couple of calls.”
And Simone went back to Ashley without another word.
Gina followed. She listened numbly while Simone explained to Ashley—depression, dehydration, isolation, risk. Ashley merely nodded.
“I want you to stay at least overnight in the hospital, Ashley, so we can give you an antidepressant and monitor the way you respond. It might be for a few days, but I’m fairly sure it won’t be long-term.”
“Long-term?” Ash asked.
“Some patients are critical and really need hospitalization for a couple of weeks, maybe a month. I don’t think that’s the case, but you need medical intervention—you’re sick to your stomach, dehydrated, can’t get out of bed. Let’s take care of this.”
She nodded weakly. “No matter what you do, I’m not going back to school.”
“I understand,” Simone said.
And Gina thought, Please God, let me be as sharp as she is when I finally achieve my degree.
Tears were wetting Gina’s cheeks. She’d sacrificed everything to keep this girl healthy, safe and well-adjusted, yet one eighteen-year-old boy had just about ruined them all!
“Thanks,” she heard Simone say into her cell phone. “Yes, her mother will handle the forms and we’ll be there within the hour. I’d rather not go through admitting. Oh, thank you—we’ll meet you on the third floor.”
She disconnected and stood from her chair. “Let’s go get this difficulty taken care of.”
*
Mac was surprised to see an Oregon State Police Trooper vehicle pull into town. Mac had been standing outside his office, chatting with old Sam Connie about the weather when Joe Metcalf parked and got out. He was more than just another officer to Mac. He was the man his aunt Lou had been seeing for the past year and a half, though she’d done her level best to keep him secret until six m
onths ago.
Joe gave a nod to Sam then shook Mac’s hand.
“Looks mighty official,” Sam said. “I’ll leave you to it.” And off he wandered, using a cane as leverage.
“What’s up?” Mac asked.
“I should probably ask you,” Joe responded. “Lou says the place is falling apart.”
“Not the town, thank God. Just a few people in it. But they’re all real important to me.” Then Mac held open the door to the office so they could go inside. “I guess Lou told you about Cee Jay coming to town?”
“Yeah, she’s pretty sideways about that. And now I hear Gina’s daughter is in the hospital?”
“Did she tell you about it?” Mac asked. “That sexting business?”
He nodded. “And the amount of bullying on social networks is out of control—everyone from vulnerable young teens to rich and famous stars… Too many victims. Lou said there’s some question about Ashley’s stability….”
“She’s been in the hospital for three days, but it appears she’s going to be all right. She’s a lot better in three days. Lots. She’s depressed, but not clinically depressed. I have to admit, if someone sent a naked picture of me to all my friends, I might get a little whacked out of joint. I worry about Gina. Her only child. I wish I could get her away from all that, but I worry about leaving Lou and the kids. The second I leave the house, Cee Jay could decide on a surprise visit.”
Joe tilted his head and smiled slyly. “I might be able to help out with this situation,” he said.
*
Gina went to visit Ashley in the hospital. Many of the patients in her ward at the hospital were being evaluated for long-term care. Some were there by court order and some were either drugged and hazy and others looked, on the surface at least, like perfectly normal young people between the ages of fourteen and twenty-five, their issues secret from Gina. Not all of them were allowed visitors.
Ashley embraced Gina. “I’m better,” she said. “I really am.”
“How do you know?” Gina asked.
“I’ve talked about it a lot—the whole thing, from breaking up to the mean sexting. Did you know that’s what it’s called and it happens a lot? I can’t think of one time that’s happened at my school. I mean, there were mean rumor things, but nothing like this.”
“I guess I didn’t think it ever would,” Gina said. She looked around. “There seem to be just a few young people here. Lots of older people.”
“All ages,” Ashley said. “There are a couple of old people who hurt themselves by accident and they’re going to go to a home where they’ll be safe and cared for—they’re sometimes completely normal and sometimes in some time warp.” And she smiled.
“Do you feel safe here, Ash?” Gina asked.
She nodded. “The only thing I don’t like is that they lock the ward doors at night—that bothers me a lot. Like what if I need to get out for some reason, like a fire or something? But there’s a button to push—a bell and a light. Besides that, I feel okay.”
A young girl in a hospital gown over scrubs walked past them and lifted a hand to Ashley. Her wrists were bandaged. Ashley looked at Gina. “That is what you think it is. Not the first try, either. Look, I know I was pretty bad, but no matter how bad I looked, I wasn’t that bad. I wanted to disappear, I didn’t want to do anything to myself.”
“Oh, Ash,” she said, hugging her again. “What turned you around? You’re so much more like yourself!”
“Seeing how far down the hill you can roll, for one thing. But the nurse in charge keeps reminding me that sometimes what a person needs most is medicine. I had an IV for a whole day—that made me feel a lot better. And this medicine? It’s not supposed to really kick in for a few weeks, so I doubt it’s really the medicine, but if Simone insists I try it, I guess I will. Do you think it’s normal that I still want to kill Downy?”
Gina couldn’t help but smile. In fact, she liked the sound of that so much better than “I just don’t want to live.” But she did know Ashley would never hurt anyone. She was kind to the core of her being.
“Is Gram okay?” Ashley asked. “She’s not all worked up about this, is she?”
“She was very worried. She’s relieved you’re under a doctor’s care. When I tell her how great you look and sound, she’ll be more relieved.”
“Doctor, phhhhttt. I saw the doctor for three minutes. The nurse is running this show. Her name is Judy. She has zero patience, but I can see where some of the patients would push her around if she gave them an inch. I stay out of her way. She doesn’t like anyone. I told Simone she was mean as a snake and hated everyone and Simone smiled so big I thought her ears would fall off. Think that means Simone isn’t crazy about the nurse?”
Gina felt her eyes well with tears and she squeezed Ashley’s hands.
“What’s the matter, Mom? Why are you crying?”
She just shook her head. “I was afraid you’d never be a smart-ass again, never make me laugh again….”
“Have you talked to Simone today?”
“Not today. Why?” Gina answered.
“She asked if I’d stay three more days. She said it’s up to me. I said I didn’t want to and she said I’ve gotten so much better in just a couple of days, she’d really like me to stay a little longer. I said okay. But not any more than that.”
“I’ll pick you up the first second you can leave,” Gina said. “You sure about this decision?”
She nodded.
“And when I bring you home, you’re going back to school?”
“I guess,” she said with a shrug. “I can’t exactly quit school. It’ll be awful, though.”
“Maybe not, Ash. You have good friends there.”
“I also have some jerks there.”
“As it is in the world,” Gina said. “Good people and jerks and millions you haven’t met yet. I’m so relieved you’re stronger.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” she said. “I’m sorry I gave up and hit the bottom.”
“I’m just so glad we found the right support,” Gina said. “Because I love you so much. You’re my life, you know.”
*
Mac had convinced Gina they had earned a night away from Thunder Point and with Ashley in safe hands, they should take their chance. Once Ashley came home, he knew Gina would want to be on hand. But, with Carrie’s approval, they packed overnight bags and left town around two that afternoon.
“Exactly where are we going?” Gina asked Mac. “I really don’t like being away from my phone. Just in case Ashley needs me. She was fine yesterday. In fact, she was better than she’s been in a month, but you know…”
“Don’t worry,” he said, reaching for her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Carrie promises to keep your phone close all night in case anyone calls about Ashley and she has my cell number. I had a break today—I was talking to Joe, telling him how ripped up our families are, how much you and I needed a little break, but neither of us felt like we dared get away. And he said he had this little one room fishing cabin on Lawrence Lake—close by but not too close. When I told him I’d love to borrow it but didn’t want to leave the family with Cee Jay lurking, he offered to spend the night at my house. If Lou needs anything or anyone, he’s right there. He’s savvy—he wouldn’t let Cee Jay get by him.”
“Wow,” she said. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I did just tell you,” he said, smiling at her. His cell phone chirped and he glanced at the caller ID. “It’s Carrie,” he said, passing it to her.
She grabbed it. “Hello?” she answered urgently. Then she visibly relaxed, listening. “Really?” she said. “Oh, God, Mom, that’s such good news.” She thanked Carrie for calling her and ended the call. She looked at Mac. “Ashley called my phone—she had a nice talk with my mom. She’s feeling good, looking forward to coming home in a couple of days and asked my mom to call Eve, tell Eve she’ll talk to her as soon as she gets home. Just that little thing makes me feel so much better. Now m
aybe I can feel a little less guilty about escaping for a night.”
“I’m going to heat up a casserole and some of your mom’s fresh bread I found in our freezer, we’re going to build a fire and drink a couple of glasses of wine, get naked if you want to or we can talk—unload some of that worry you’ve had the past few weeks….”
“What about your worry?” she asked.
“What I really want to do is just hold you. God, Gina, there have been times I’ve wondered if we’d ever catch a break.”
Gina seemed to sink into the passenger seat of his truck. She leaned her head back and sighed. Then she slowly lifted his hand to her lips, kissing his palm, then each of his fingertips. “How far?” she asked.
He smiled. “I might have to pull over,” he said, his voice husky.
The late-April sun was going down later each day so they had some daylight left by the time the reached the cabin. The afternoon sun was casting long shadows from the pines surrounding the lake. It wasn’t quite four when Mac pulled up to the cabin. There was a long lawn down to a dock, a bass boat lying facedown on the grass. “Here we are,” he said.
He pulled a cooler and a canvas bag out of the truck bed, carrying it to the cabin. He unlocked the door and let Gina step inside. He followed her and they both just stood inside the door, taking it in.
Mac wished he had asked Joe how long he’d had this place because it wasn’t what he expected at all. It was much too nice to be a bachelor’s fishing cabin. On one wall there was an efficiency kitchen with a small stovetop and oven, a few cupboards but a full-size refrigerator/freezer. A small table for four sat in the corner. Along another wall were a sofa and recliner along with a couple of accent tables. On the third wall, a bed and small chest of drawers and on the fourth, a fireplace and set of double French–style doors on one side of the hearth and a single door on the other. The single door stood ajar and inside appeared to be a very upscale and large bathroom. Now that had to be a woman’s touch; bathrooms are very important to women. For men, not so much. He briefly wondered what history Lou had with this place, then put that thought from his mind.
Mac put down the cooler and bag and opened the doors to a small covered porch that looked out onto the lake. There were two chairs facing the lake and a small table—a nice summer retreat, but not exactly for a solitary man. The chairs and table were covered with weather-proof drapes.
