by Robyn Carr
She lifted one brow. “You have a house,” she pointed out to him. “I bet you even have a retirement fund and some college savings. You probably have money you don’t even realize you have.”
Mac didn’t react, but inside he felt shattered. And when he thought about this later it might make him cry. She’d do that? Take the equity in his house? The roof over his kids’ heads or their college savings? What little security he had? He thought he knew what she’d do with it, and she wasn’t going to pay down her Visa bill.
“How much is your debt?” he asked.
“It’s not very much. Just a few thousand.”
“How many thousands?”
“I don’t know,” she said, smoothing her hair. “Eight or ten. Maybe eleven. But even five would help. And I’d pay you back, of course. Right away.”
“And how could you do that? Pay me back right away?”
“I’m going to work,” she said. “I have several modeling and acting opportunities that I just haven’t been able to pursue, but they pay very well.”
“Which begs the question, why not work to pay off your debt?”
She sat back in her chair. “It’s complicated.”
He gave her a slight smile. “I have to admit, I’m dying of curiosity. I know you didn’t get in this spot on quarter slots at little casinos. Vegas? Monte Carlo? High stakes poker? Ponies? What the hell have you done to yourself, Cee Jay?”
“I just got a little behind, that’s all.”
“Right. Behind enough that you’d take your children’s college savings and try to roll it into a big payoff? What are you going to do—put it all on black at the roulette table?”
“If you’re not going to help me, just say so.”
He rested his forearms on the table and looked at her with sympathy. He looked into her eyes and knew that the young girl he’d loved was just not in there. “Yes, I’m going to help you,” he said. “First of all, I have to give you advice. This comes from Eve, actually. If you find yourself missing your children, they’d love to get a note or card. Maybe on birthdays or holidays. You could send a gift, and it doesn’t have to be expensive—just a token to say they’re remembered, that would be welcome. You can’t just show up in their lives after a decade and expect a warm reception, but you’re their mother. They can’t help the fact that they’d like to know you.
“Second, if you borrowed from someone who isn’t exactly in the legitimate loan business, I’d be happy to help you file a complaint. I know all the right people. And third, I would be happy to locate a Gamblers Anonymous meeting and give you a ride. No questions asked.”
She scowled at him. There weren’t any tears, either. “Just get out of here and leave me alone.”
“And fourth,” he said, standing. “I’ll pay for your coffee, and this is for the last time. Good luck, Cee Jay.”
She just looked at him with weary eyes and a sarcastically twisted mouth. He noticed that she’d tried to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, but the makeup had failed.
“Listen, let me say something. As hard as the last fifteen years have been, I have to thank you. For giving me my family, I mean. They’re great kids and they’re the life in me. I’m sorry things have been so awful for you. My life has been spare—no fancy houses or cars. But it’s been perfect in every way. I can’t think of a person on earth I’d trade places with.”
“Good for you,” she said tiredly, resting her head in her hand.
He didn’t leave money on the table. He wasn’t sure how bad off she was. She might grab a ten-dollar bill and race to a craps table and try to turn it into a hundred, which she’d then try to turn into a thousand, which would turn into nothing in no time. He went to find his waitress. “I’m leaving,” he told her. “What’s the tab for the coffees?” He paid her and gave her a nice tip. “Thanks,” he said.
One of the perks of wearing a uniform complete with weapons and driving an official car, the valets were more than happy to let him leave the vehicle in front of the hotel, locked. He tried to pass the valet a five, but the kid waved him off. “Forget it, Officer. We’re good,” he said.
“Thanks for taking care of the car, son,” he said. “Have a good day.”
*
At nine o’clock all was quiet at the McCain house. Eve was in her bedroom, either studying or whispering scary love-words to Landon over the phone, Dee Dee and Ryan were supposed to be having quiet time prior to sleep. Mac tapped on Lou’s door and she said, “Come in.”
She was sitting on her bed, her TV turned low, her cell phone in her hand.
“I’m slipping out for an hour or so,” Mac said. “I’m going to Gina’s. I’ve got my phone.”
“I’ll watch the nest, but I’m going to sleep soon.”
“I won’t be late. She has an early morning.”
Less than ten minutes later he was parked in front of her house and he went to the front door. He knocked and she answered. He held up two bottles of beer in one hand and smiled at her.
She was drying a pan. Her hair was piled on top of her head, held with a clip and she wore those plaid pajama bottoms that were so worn in some places the Goodwill might reject them. No makeup. Fitted tank top. She had a wholesome look about her; accessible and genuine. She was a hardworking woman who saved her money and didn’t splurge on superficial things. And she looked so beautiful to him, she took his breath away. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and hold her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with a smile.
“Come out on the porch with me. Have a beer,” he said. “I had a long day. I saw Cee Jay.”
Gina was clearly shocked. “She called you?”
He shook his head. “I tracked her down.”
Gina threw the pan and dish towel into the chair by the door and joined him on the porch. They sat on the top step and he twisted off the caps on their bottles. He leaned back against the porch post, one long leg stretched out on the porch and bent at the knee, the other rested two steps down. He patted the space between his legs and she slid over. She smoothed the fabric of his jeans over his hard thighs.
He bent and kissed her neck, inhaling.
“You’re fresh out of the tub.”
“I had a serious case of waitress legs today. Sore. Tell me about her.”
He sighed. “She’s messed up.” And then he unclipped her blond hair and let it fall to her shoulders.
“She sure doesn’t look messed up. All you have to do is mention her name and I start to feel shabby and poor.” She stretched her hands out in front of her face, looking at the short, cropped nails. “She’s so glamorous.”
“You’re not as poor as she is, honey,” he said.
“She’s got a good cover going, then.”
“She’s in trouble.”
Gina turned to look up at him, questioning him with her eyes.
“I investigated her past and what I couldn’t learn from public records, I hired some help to dig up. I felt that was important, to keep the family safe. She married someone else before we were divorced, then divorced him with a sizable settlement that, of course, she didn’t deserve because she was never legally married to him. She could be prosecuted for that.”
“Will you turn her in?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. But if anyone runs a records search, if they look at Oregon docs and California docs, it jumps out. And that’s not just bigamy, it’s fraud. She knew she wasn’t free to marry. But with all she’s up against, that’s not really her biggest worry—she has a gambling problem. A doozy. She’s run through a fortune and she has debts.”
“Don’t you have to turn her in?”
“I’m not obligated to snitch on every person I’ve ever known who once did something wrong, not even in my jurisdiction. In fact, I probably did more damage to her just by telling her I knew. I offered her a ride to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Daggers shot out of her eyes. She’s not ready to admit to that. In fact,” he added with a hu
morless laugh, “she suggested I could help her with that debt.”
Gina leaned back against him. “Really? You have a stash somewhere you’re not talking about?”
“Uh-huh. I have a house, half a house, actually, a retirement account and a small savings for the kids to help with college.”
“No!” she said. “She would do that?”
He ran his fingers through her hair. “I believe she would do that. She said she could pay me back immediately. She’s staying at the casino hotel in North Bend. I think that means if I gave her money, she’d put it all on the table, trying to double it or triple it.”
“She ran through a fortune? Did you point out to her that she once had a fortune and she never sent a dollar of it to her children?”
He put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her. “No,” he said. “I looked into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, and they were dead. She has so much she could do, but she has killed her own spirit. It’s very sad. I hope she gets help for that, but it’s not going to happen today.” He leaned toward her and gave her a brief kiss. “Our lives are richer in every way.” And then he pulled her in for a deeper kiss.
And then he let her slide back into her position between his long legs. “Will you tell the kids?” she asked.
“Eventually,” he said. “I guess they’ll have to know, but I want to make sure they’re capable of understanding. I think Cee Jay will probably leave the area now—she knows I know everything. I told her if I wanted to, I could make a call to the Los Angeles prosecutor’s office. I pity her, but I’m not screwing around with her anymore. There’s nothing I can do for her. She’s on her own.”
He slid an arm around her from behind, holding her, her back comfortably at rest against him. He took a drink of his beer, then nuzzled her hair. She was so soft and fresh. And for a woman who had so much going on in her life, she was so uncomplicated.
They sat in silence, just having a beer together. After ten or fifteen minutes of peace and quiet and a half beer each, she asked, “Tell me what you’re thinking, Mac.”
“I’m just thinking how ready I am to move on.”
“Well, your ex-wife is pretty unpredictable. It’s a thing you might never get completely resolved.”
“You’re right about that. If I’m not real lucky, I might have to deal with her from time to time, but I still want to move on. Because she may have more surprises in store for me in coming years, but I’m all done with her. I think the kids and Lou are safe from her manipulations and plots. If Cee Jay proves to be a problem from time to time, it won’t be because any of us is vulnerable. I hope I’m not being overly optimistic in thinking she’s starting to understad that.”
“I think she’s going to be lurking in the back of your mind forever….”
“No, babe. Not in my mind—that’s on a different track. She could make attempts to mess with my peace of mind, but I’ll be vigilant. Hell, that’s how I am, anyway. It’s hard to uncop a guy, if you know what I mean. The worst part about my meeting with her today was that I sat with my back to the room in the hotel restaurant.” He laughed and shook his head. “But I’m turning my life over to you. I’ve given this issue all I’ve got to give it.”
She turned and looked up at him. “And what am I supposed to do?”
“I think we should put our heads together and make some plans for our own future. I know it’s complicated, but there must be a way we can get married. Maybe not next weekend, but the sooner the better.”
She turned to look up into his eyes. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“More than you can know.”
She turned around and knelt between his legs, her hands on his shoulders. “Do you think Lou and the kids can deal with it?”
“Lou’s been telling me I need a woman in my life for years, but I’ll sit down with her. As for the kids, the most stable thing our girls seem to have is each other. But—once Lou’s on board, we should try to figure out the details. We have to combine our families.”
“Or we could wait a year and a half, when our girls go to college,” she said.
“I don’t think I can wait that long.” He pulled her into his arms. “The best place in my life is when I’m near you, when I’m holding you, when I’m spooning you in bed. That’s my peace. That’s my anchor. And you know what? I don’t think it’s going to be hard. I think it’s going to feel like a huge relief.”
“This is not going to solve all your problems, Mac.”
“It’s going to solve at least one. I need to be with you.”
Sixteen
Gina was sitting on the front porch with her newspaper opened in front of her when Ashley came up the walk after school, her backpack slung over one shoulder. “My last big test,” she said. “Done!”
“How do you think you did?”
“I think I did great, as a matter of fact. The only major thing left for me is a book report—mega book thesis—for English. And I did it already. I hate to brag but it’s the smartest paper I’ve ever written. School’s out in a week and I’d like to work this summer. As much as possible. I have to save some money. So, who do you think will hire me? You or Gram?”
Surprised, Gina answered, “Well, do you want to wait tables, or cook and do dishes?”
“I might have time to do both over summer—two part-time jobs. What do you think?”
“I’ll ask Stu at the diner and you can talk to Gram.”
“If I can manage to work and cheer in my senior year, I might want to do that, too.”
“Suddenly very ambitious, aren’t we?” Gina said with a smile.
“Well, I am. I’ve been thinking college is getting close. I used to think of Downy when I thought of college without even considering all the other things it could mean. I had no idea all the things I was interested in until I started listening to Frank talk about everything he’d like to study and I thought—hmm, I kind of like the idea of psychology. And how about physical therapy? Or education? Or biology? Or—”
Gina laughed. “How about all those things?” she echoed. “What brought this on?”
“I’m sick of hearing about the wonderful Downy and his atomic arm. Good for him, but I have a life, too, and I just am not about to waste it on some jerk.”
“God,” Gina said. “Why didn’t I have your brains when I was your age? Sit down with me a minute. There’s something I’ve been planning to talk to you about and with all you’ve had going on, I didn’t want to overburden you. But—it’s kind of because of all you’ve had going on. When I checked you into the hospital and filled out all the forms I realized that since you were born the ‘paternal’ side of the health history was always unknown. If we ever had a real issue—like if there was something hereditary we should know about, then… The thing is, Ash, I searched out your biological father specifically to ask those questions. And I found him. Not very far away.”
The look on her face was one of sheer shock. “Holy crap.”
“Yes, I found him, I talked with him, I asked him medical questions. And I found that he hadn’t even been certain whether I was definitely pregnant, whether I’d gone through with the pregnancy, had you adopted, whatever.”
Ashley leaned back on the porch post. “Wow. That’s almost creepy. Especially at the same time Eve’s long-lost mother shows up unannounced.”
“Pure coincidence and entirely different circumstances. It turns out your father didn’t exactly run out on you. He did run, though, and I think we can all agree that worked out a lot better for us than it did for him.”
Gina told her the whole story, including the fact that Eric had gotten in trouble, served time in prison and then seemed to have turned his life around. She had had Mac check him out and learned that he had not only been a model prisoner, determined to get out as early as possible, but was now a model citizen.
“Is he nice?”
Gina nodded. “Seems to be. In fact, lots nicer than he was at eighteen. He seems to be resp
onsible and kind of successful with his own little business.”
“Do you like him?”
“I like him more now than I had.”
“Am I going to meet him?” Ashley asked.
“Do you want to?” Gina responded. “Because you shouldn’t have any fantasies about him—he’s no knight in shining armor. He’s just a man—he does auto body work. He’s got a girlfriend but no family and, he and I?” She shook her head. “Never. I think we’re both pretty relieved he didn’t step up seventeen years ago—it would’ve been a disaster. For that matter, I don’t know that you can expect him to be a father, Ash. I think that time has surely passed. You might not even like him.”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing his face. Finding out what kind of person he is. I already know what kind of person he was.”
“I can probably arrange that, but I want you to think it over for a couple of days and be sure that’s what you want. He gave me his word he won’t push himself on you.”
“Couple of days?”
“I think it’s reasonable to think it over first. Don’t you?”
“Sure. Yes. Wow—I always thought if I ever ran into him, he’d be a horrible person.”
“He doesn’t seem to be.”
A couple of days after that conversation, Gina pulled the business card with the cell phone number out of her pocket and called Eric. “Hi,” she said. “It’s Gina. Ashley’s doing very well after a real challenging spring. She had some major heartaches, but she’s so smart, so strong. And I told her about you. Eric, I think it’s time. She’d like to meet you.”
*
“Do you have a date tonight?” Mac asked his Aunt Lou.
“Why? Do you need me for something?”
“I want to take you to dinner.”
She backed away from the kitchen sink, put a hand on her hip and looked at him suspiciously. “Now this has never happened before.”
“I’m sure it has,” he said. “Hasn’t it?”
“I don’t think so. And the kids?”
“Let’s throw a pizza at them—they’ll be fine. I want to talk to you alone. It’s about me and Gina.”
