by Cate Cameron
He paused. “This might be an important conversation we’re having. I haven’t known you for that long, but I want to make it completely clear right now that I’m your dad, and I am one hundred percent on your side, for everything. If you committed murder, I’d be shocked and scared and really, really freaked out, but I’d also be on your side. I’d help you get good lawyers and the help you needed to make sure you didn’t kill anybody else, or whatever. I don’t actually know what the best way to be supportive of a murderer is, but I’d figure it out and I’d do it. Okay?”
“Geez, Will, I’m not going to commit murder. What are you even talking about?”
He exhaled. “Okay, yeah, murder was a pretty extreme example. I’m just saying you can count on me for anything. You don’t like the way a guy’s treating you? And maybe you’re a bit embarrassed because you’re worried you led him on, or something? Don’t be worried. I’m on Team You, always. If you led him on, too damn bad. It doesn’t give him the right to expect anything from you, and I will absolutely deal with him if he tries, as long as you let me know.”
She kind of looked like her aunt when she raised her eyebrow that way. “You’ll ‘deal with him’? Seriously?”
“If you want me to. Or if you want to deal with him yourself, I’ll just support you while you do that.” Okay, he’d definitely lost the thread of this conversation. Good intentions had turned to complete gobbledygook. “The point is, I’m on your side and you should always feel free to talk to me about anything that’s not going the way you want it to, and you can trust me to follow your lead on how you want it handled. Is that part clear?”
She was quiet for a moment, and then she looked at him, and the shine in her eyes was somehow a little deeper and stronger than it had been before. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Okay.” He nodded. This was good. Everything was back on track. “So, the next point is—if your aunt really doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to get to like me, that’s her call, and I need to respect that. Because that’s how stand-up guys handle being rejected. It’s not fun, but that’s too damn bad.”
Emily nodded slowly, thoughtfully, then said, “I think she really does like you, though.”
Nice to hear it, at least from one source. “I think she does, too. I hope she does. But she’s clearly got some concerns about me, or about ‘us.’ And I’ll be honest—when I started this conversation, I was thinking that you and I could create some madcap scheme to persuade her to give me a chance, and there’d be switched identities and elaborate charades and probably some forged documents or something. But as I’m thinking about it? It feels like that wouldn’t be fair. Not to your aunt, because she deserves to know that both of us respect her wishes and aren’t trying to push her into something she doesn’t want. But also, it wouldn’t be fair to me. Because I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.”
“But if she does like you?” Emily pressed. “If she’s just being a bit stubborn about admitting it? I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but Aunt Cassidy can be a bit stubborn. That’s what my mom always said about her.”
He managed not to snort. “Yes, I think I’ve seen that. I try to think of it as her being strong-willed.”
Emily apparently didn’t have the same snort-aversion he did, and hers was as adorable as her aunt’s always were. “Yeah, okay, we can call it that. So if she’s being strong-willed, what can we do?”
That was the big question, of course, and it was the one he still couldn’t answer. “I’m not sure. But I think it’s important that it be me doing something about it. Because whatever I do could blow up in my face, and if that happens, I want her to know she still has you. I don’t want her to worry that she’s going to lose you.”
Emily’s expression was thoughtful for a moment before relaxing into another of her beautiful, pure smiles. “You do like her. Like, a lot. You’re more worried about her being okay than about you getting what you want. Right?”
Well, he’d pretty much blown the secrecy thing already, so he let himself nod. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“That’s perfect. That’s what she needs.” Emily sighed. “If she’ll just go along with it!” She shot him an assessing look, then nodded her head reluctantly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll keep out of it. But I’m cheering for you, okay? I’m secretly…” She grinned. “I’m on Team You. I’m on your side. But I’m also on Team Aunt Cass, and I’m on her side. So if you could make it so the two of you are on the same team, that’d be excellent. No pressure or anything, of course.”
“Of course,” he said drily, and shifted the car back into gear and out onto the road. He was doing well with one of the Frost girls. But the larger challenge was definitely ahead of him.
Chapter Eighteen
There’d been no formal plan to meet at the diner that night, but somehow, Cassidy had known Will and Emily would be coming by. It was Sunday dinner, after all. Traditional for a family to eat it together.
She’d thought about making something special, maybe running down to the grocery and picking up a roast, but she’d decided against it. The more of a fuss she made, the more difficult this would all be. Better to underplay it. Nothing important happening. No one’s Earth about to be shaken.
She took a deep breath as she saw Will’s Audi pull in across the street. No irreversible decisions about to be made. No relationships about to be strained to their limits. Damn it, she wished the diner was licensed, because she could really use a drink. She could start leaving a flask behind the counter, she supposed, but…no need for that, not anymore.
She served chicken pie to the McAlpines and was trying to make small talk with the elderly couple as Will and Emily came through the doorway. Yes, after seventy years Mrs. McAlpine was completely justified in not making dinner every night. Emily looks so happy, so perfectly, childishly messy. No, of course this dish isn’t as good as the chicken pie Mr. McAlpine’s mother used to make, but what is as good today as it was back then? Will got a bit of sun, and his khakis have actually lost their crease, at least below the knee. He wears it well. What was that? Oh, of course, a refill on the tea. No problem.
It was nothing new. Cassidy had gotten used to living her life on two levels. Part of her brain looked after her everyday business, the details she’d need to care about later. And at the same time, a different, higher level paid attention to Will and Emily, drinking in their details. Because those would be even more important to remember in the days to come.
She brought the tea to the McAlpines as Will settled into the family booth and Emily brought them both drinks from the cooler. A few quick stops to check on the other tables, and then Cassidy headed back to the family booth.
She stopped short a step away. Emily was sitting right on the aisle, blocking access to the other side of the two-person bench. Will, on the other hand, had slid over to the wall. Easier to sit next to him. Physically, anyway.
But maybe it was for the best. Cassidy needed to focus on Emily now, and that would be easiest with a clear view of her face. And, yes, it would certainly be best to do all of this without having to look at Will.
She slid in beside him, perching on the edge of the cushioned bench to ensure there was no contact, and said, “You guys had a good day?”
“Will came with us, and we sent the water back behind the band of cedar trees!”
Yes. Will had gone with them, and he’d taken part in the game, and they’d found success. Good. More evidence that Cassidy had made the right decision. “Sounds like fun.” She briefly wondered if her own contributions to the great water-diversion-challenge had been completely forgotten, then dismissed the idea. If they had been, that was fine. She was the past, and Will was the future. “I had a kind of interesting day as well.”
Emily raised a polite eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes.” Cassidy’s hands were clenched under the table, but neither Will nor Emily could see that. “And I need to ask you a couple questions, Em. They’re pretty serious. Is this a good
time?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. I guess?” Then Em looked to Will for guidance. She looked to Will. Heartbreaking, but at the same time, reassuring. Cassidy had made the right choice.
She soldiered on. “I need to know if you have any real attachment to the diner, or the house, or the town. I know you have friends here, but assuming you were able to keep in touch with them, would you feel like there’d be a big hole in your life if you didn’t have the house to go home to, or if the diner wasn’t part of your future?”
Maybe she imagined the conspiratorial grin Emily sent in Will’s direction. “No, I wouldn’t miss it. Not the diner, for sure. The house and the town a little, I guess, but like you said, I could keep in touch with the people I really care about, right?”
Cassidy nodded. “Okay, and question two: maybe a bit weird to ask it right in front of him, but I’m going to do it anyway.” Because she knew the answer she was going to hear and wanted Will to hear it, too.
“Okay,” Emily said, and this time the look she shot toward Will was full of doubt. “What’s question two?”
“Do you feel comfortable with Will? Like, would you be okay living with him? Does he really feel like your dad, or is he just some nice-seeming stranger?”
Another look, this one sweetly shy, before Emily turned her attention back to Cassidy. “He feels like my dad,” she almost whispered.
Will ducked his head suddenly, and Cassidy knew she’d done the right thing. He’d needed to hear it. And maybe Em had needed to say it.
But now there was no excuse to not follow through. Cassidy loved Emily and wanted the best for her. She cared about Will. Damn it, now that she was facing this, she was pretty sure she loved him—it wouldn’t hurt this much if she didn’t. But that wasn’t something she should ever, ever say out loud.
Instead she said, “I called Roddy Turner today. I know you’ve seen his videos, Em, with the horse training, but I don’t think you know I used to be in touch with him, a little. When you were a few years old, I had a chance to go work with him, but I didn’t want to leave you. Not when you were so young.”
She took a breath and tried to keep it from trembling. She needed to sell this, needed to make Emily believe this was an exciting opportunity. Will? Will was harder to fool, but she didn’t really need to, not completely. Not about this, at least. She forced animation into her voice. “But I talked to Roddy, and it turns out he’s semi-retired and has been looking for someone to help out, with an eye to maybe taking over some day. I reminded him who I was and told him I’d been running a small business for quite a while so I know how to do books and everything, and he says he has a job for me, if I want it.”
Emily was staring at her, and Cassidy couldn’t let herself get too caught up in whatever the girl was feeling. This wasn’t done, and she needed to keep going. “It would be a big change, obviously. I’d have to shut down the diner and sell the house. We could put the money from that into your college fund, okay? And you could go live in New York with Will. Does that still sound like something you’d be okay with?”
“Without you?” the girl whispered.
Oh God, this was even harder than Cassidy had anticipated. She made herself remember Will’s party in the city. All those sophisticated, lovely people, ready to welcome Emily with open arms. And they’d be ready to welcome Cassidy, too, of course, but only as charity, a favor to a friend. Emily needed to start her new life without being saddled with an uneducated hick of an aunt. “Without me being in the same city as you. But never without me. I love you, Em, and that’s never, ever going to change. It doesn’t matter where we live. We can Skype, and talk on the phone, and you can come visit whenever you want. Holidays and summers, even, if you aren’t busy with NASA or whatever.” She could tell Emily wasn’t convinced, so she made herself say the rest. “This would be something for me, you know? Something for my life. You and I aren’t going to grow old together in that moldy house. We were never going to, even before Will came around. This is maybe happening a bit earlier than it would have without him, but that’s all.”
“But it’s too early,” Emily said. The tears were flowing, now, and Cassidy reached across the table to take Em’s hand, but the girl pulled her arms back angrily. “No, it’s too early! I still need you! I need you with me, every day, not just on the phone or on vacations. Where does this guy live, this Roddy Turner? Couldn’t you live with me, and drive there for work?”
“He lives in Texas,” Cassidy said quietly. And then they all sat there for a moment. Cassidy dared a glance toward Will and looked away quickly when she saw his expression. Anger she could handle, but the hurt was hard to take.
She did a gut check. Could she keep going? She knew it would work. She knew Emily well enough to be almost sure how things would go. Emily would be upset, but she’d get over it. She was crying less now than she had when Seth had broken her heart, and she and Seth had talked things through two days after the dance and were fine now. This was good for Emily and would make her much happier in the long run. It was Cassidy who was going to be in trouble. But she wouldn’t let herself chicken out.
“If you’re not ready for me to go,” she said calmly, “I won’t go. I’ll turn down this chance. But I’d like you to really think about it, Em. Because it was just luck that I got this opportunity—it’s not something that’s going to be waiting for me four years from now when you’re ready to go off to college. If you need me to stay, I’ll stay. I’d die for you, sweetie, if I had to, so I’d absolutely give this up. I’m just asking you to take a little time to think about whether I need to give it up. That’s all.”
Emily’s eyes were wide, and for about the millionth time since she’d started putting the plan together that morning, Cassidy doubted it. Maybe she should have made the decision herself instead of guilting Emily into it. It had seemed like a good idea to give the girl a sense of control over things, but maybe that hadn’t been fair. Damn it, why couldn’t things be easier?
The hurt was gone from Will’s face now, and he was wearing a cold, assessing expression she hadn’t seen since that first day he’d walked into the diner, angry about the trick with the DNA test. They locked gazes for a moment, and Cassidy braced herself for the next step in her plan. She’d tried to convince Emily that the two of them were better off apart; now she had to do the same for Will.
…
“Is there even a trainer in Texas?” Will asked Cassidy that night. He’d taken Emily home soon after Cassidy’s bombshell, tried to comfort the girl, and fumed. Now Em was in bed, Cassidy was home, and Will was ready for a fight. “Or did you make up the job offer just to get rid of us?”
“Don’t,” Cassidy said, her voice low and tired. She stepped into the den and carefully closed the doors behind her. “There is a trainer in Texas, and he’s the same one I almost worked for years ago, and he’s willing to give me a chance now. I might have exaggerated the likelihood of my taking over his business, but that’s the only thing that wasn’t completely true.” She stood behind one of the leather club chairs, her fingers picking nervously at the seam along the back. When she saw him noticing, she pulled her hands away and hid them down by her sides. She lifted her gaze to his, and he saw no guilt in her eyes. More like defiance.
“There is a job, but if there wasn’t, I would have made it up. You backed me into a corner with this! We could have worked something out, with Em spending the week in the city with you and the weekends and holidays here with me. But you put the idea in her head that she could have it all, and the truth is, she can’t. Not because I won’t give it to her, but because I can’t give it to her. I can’t be the person she would need beside her in the city.”
“Same old bullshit.” He pushed impatiently to his feet and strode toward her. She braced herself and stood her ground, and for two breaths, then three, they stared at each other, locked in frustration. He’d never raised his hand to a woman, and he damn well never would, but he could feel the temptation. Not to hit her, but
to grab her, shake her, force her to do what he wanted.
He made himself break eye contact and take a step back. “How much of this is because of you and me?” he asked. “If we’d controlled ourselves, if I hadn’t pushed for more than casual, would that have made it easier for you to come to the city?”
She looked away from him, toward the fire he’d started despite the warm evening. “I think you and me, together, made this even more clear. I mean, my God, Will, you asked me to marry you! Does that not prove that your judgment is gone? If you’re making ridiculous decisions like that, it’s pretty clear that our relationship isn’t good for you.”
He made himself take another step back, because the temptation to shake and overpower was not going away. “I regret asking you that, right then. That way. That was a mistake, to make it seem as if it was about convenience, when really it could just as well have been about—”
“Stop.” She sounded angry, and maybe afraid. “Don’t make it worse. Don’t say more things you don’t mean. You’ve been stuck up here in the back woods, away from your girlfriend and everything you know; you’ve had an intense emotional experience, discovering your daughter; and maybe you still have some unresolved feelings for Penny, or—”
“No, you stop.” And this time he let himself take that step forward. She didn’t shrink away, despite his threatening posture. Was she that brave, or did she trust him that much? He hoped it was the latter, but he knew it could well be the former. “Don’t you dare tell me how I feel. You want to manipulate a thirteen-year-old? Fine. I don’t know if it was the right decision or not, but at least it wasn’t an insult. But you trying to tell me, a grown man, how I feel about you? Trying to convince me I’m just confused? No, that’s not going to happen.” Another half step toward her and then he said, “I love you, Cassidy.”
