Ruy’s hand was still covering hers. He squeezed her fingers gently. ‘You’re doing very well,’ he whispered encouragingly. ‘You’ll feel much, much better when this is out.’
Luna heard his words, but couldn’t yet feel the truth in them, so nauseated and fearful was she. She just knew she needed to cling on to that life raft of trust she had instinctively in Ruy.
‘He came to my room to say goodnight. My father wasn’t at home, away at some conference or other,’ she said bleakly. ‘The thing is, I knew it didn’t feel right. There was something uncomfortable about it. He just kept staring. His eyes … All I could do was pretend I needed to go to sleep … pulled my covers up to my chin. It was as if he didn’t notice, though.
‘Then his hand reached under my bedclothes … I felt it on me … everywhere. I was so scared, I went completely rigid. At first I couldn’t speak at all … then I asked him to stop … but his face was suddenly against mine, his tongue pushing in my mouth. I couldn’t breathe. I felt so dirty, so ashamed … I struggled and pushed him away.’ She gave a strangled sob, her hand covering her eyes. ‘He didn’t go any further, told me it was our little secret.’
Ruy clenched his jaw. His face struggled with emotion before he regained his self-control. ‘There was no need to feel ashamed, Luna. This is what abusers do,’ he said softly, his hand going to her head and stroking her hair slowly, as if calming a frightened horse. ‘They prey on the innocence of children, making them feel like it’s all their fault.’
Luna realized her secret was now told, it was shared at last, and it was like a balm to her soul. It was as if she had poured her heart out to someone she had known for a very long time. Someone who understood her and was on her side; someone who listened attentively without interrupting, and without judging her. The shivering was subsiding now. She felt strangely purged; almost like a young child again.
‘There, querida, that feels better, doesn’t it?’ Ruy’s voice was so soothing it made every muscle in her body sigh with relief.
She blinked away a tear. ‘Yes, it does. It really does,’ she said with a smile that wobbled a little. ‘I wonder if this means the nightmares will stop.’
‘Quite possibly,’ he said reassuringly. ‘Some traumas continue to surface but, with a little of the right treatment, they should fade entirely. But, mi amor, you’ve taken the first step, and that’s crucial to your healing. If a secret has been damped down for so long, of course it will surface in other ways, trying to push away the lid confining it.’
‘And now I’ve taken the lid off …’ Luna said thoughtfully.
‘You have, and that took real bravery,’ he said. ‘Nothing less than I’d expect of you, of course. Truth is second nature to you, I know that.’
For a brief second, Luna’s mind darted to the other secret she was keeping from Ruy. Then she discarded the thought. She was feeling so heartened, so positive by what had just happened that nothing could dislodge the idea that everything was going to be all right.
She’d deal with it very soon … when the time was right. Of course she would.
* * *
Luna took her time showering and dressing while Ruy was downstairs making breakfast. She wanted to feel attractive again, and looked in the mirror appraisingly. The scratches on her face weren’t that deep or obvious, she could disguise them with concealer. Though her cheeks were a little hollow, making her cheekbones stand out, she marvelled at how her luminous eyes were shining.
Anticipation was pumping adrenaline into her veins, making her pulse race, and already she was light-headed with excitement just knowing he was downstairs. She chose a tan shrug in thin, almost transparent cotton, which she slipped over a fitted vest that provided a tantalizing glimpse of the rounded curves of her breasts. She teamed these with some beige jeans, which clung to her sensuously, showing off to advantage every contour of her trim body, while hiding the cuts and scratches on her legs. Her hair was silky, lush and shining, and she let it hang loosely down her back. Her feet were still tender; for the moment she was better off leaving them bare. She glanced one last time in the mirror.
Yes, much better, she told herself with a satisfied smile. Not bad at all, given the circumstances.
When she went down to the kitchen, she found Ruy had set out breakfast in a shaded place on the terrace.
‘I thought it would be nice to eat outside,’ he announced as he placed the cafetière of steaming coffee on the table. He straightened and looked at her, riveted. His magnificent eyes, so intensely blue this morning, raked over her slowly. ‘Querida, you look good enough to eat,’ he murmured in a rusty-sounding voice. He dragged his gaze away from her. ‘First, you need some food, though. We’ve got coffee and churros. They’re nice and warm, I’ve just taken them out of the oven.’
Luna would have preferred him to take her in his arms and kiss her, but he had gone to a lot of trouble to cook breakfast and the least she could do was show some appreciation of his efforts. Besides, her appetite was stirring at the smell of the freshly warmed pastries.
‘Yes, I am really hungry,’ she admitted, sitting down where he had pulled out the chair for her.
‘How d’you take your coffee? Black, milk, sugar?’
She laughed. ‘The works! One lump of sugar, please, and a soupçon of milk.’
Smiling, he poured them both a cup and passed her a churro.
‘These little doughnuts bring back memories of my early childhood, when my sister Juliet and I spent our holidays at Aunt Isabel’s house in Granada.’ Luna smiled at the memory. ‘Juliet could be so funny sometimes. She used to cut up the churros to make a moustache. I would laugh until I fell off my chair.’
Luna glanced up at Ruy. Had he stiffened, his eyes clouding? If he had, he recovered himself immediately and the moment was gone.
‘For me, it’s memories of my mother’s housekeeper, who taught me how to make them,’ Ruy said. ‘She’s retired now. Quite a character, Mela, full of life. She’s had a hard time lately since her husband died, though.’
‘You’re quite domesticated,’ she remarked. ‘A dab hand at cooking. She did a fine job.’
He gave a shrug. ‘I’ve lived on my own since the age of eighteen. First at university, then here in Cádiz.’ He chuckled. ‘Despite my mother’s protests, my father has always insisted I have my own apartment. Lejos de las faldas de su madre, away from your mother’s apron strings.’
‘So you’re not a mummy’s boy,’ she said with an amused grin. She hadn’t thought he was.
‘No, but she’s very protective. Especially since she lost the child she was carrying – a girl – before she had me.’
Luna’s face fell. ‘I’m sorry. That must have been so hard on your mother. And to think … you would have had a sister …’ She paused for a moment before continuing. ‘I lost a sister too. Juliet, whom I just mentioned … I was twelve. It was around the same time as …’ Luna looked down. Such a difficult time in her life … Exhaling deeply, she went on. ‘She died in a car accident. My mother went downhill after that. Aunt Isabel likes to say she died of a broken heart, but she drank herself to death, to be more precise. It was not long afterwards.’
Her words provoked a sudden change in Ruy’s deep blue eyes, an expression Luna could neither read nor understand, but he stiffened and turned his gaze towards the sea, his eyes travelling the far horizon from east to west. Below the terrace there was a curve of sable sand, with a fringe of lace-like foam at the water’s edge. Seaweed was everywhere, whipped up from the deep and carried inland by the storm. A few fishing boats were coming in slowly, and scavenging birds swooped and quarrelled over the scraps floating on the oily-looking water. For a few moments they sat in silence. Luna felt her heart swell with emotion at the wonderful, serene sight of nature after the storm. She laid a hand on Ruy’s arm and breathed his name.
He turned back towards her.
‘Ruy, I don’t want to have secrets any more,’ she said tentatively, searching his fac
e. Her eyes fixed on his, trustingly. ‘I want to tell you everything.’
He was impelled to speak. ‘I know, Luna. I don’t want anything to come between us either. There’s something I need—’
‘First,’ said Luna, interrupting with a steadfast need to have her say while she had the courage to do so. ‘I must tell you the whole story, about my nightmare, about the man who, you know … betrayed my trust.’
Ruy’s look of edgy impatience was replaced with one of wary curiosity. ‘Of course, querida. What is it?’
Luna paused. ‘I said he was a member of my family. What I didn’t tell you is that it was my uncle, Lorenzo Herrera.’
At this Ruy’s eyes blazed, and he shot up in his chair. ‘That bastard!’ he cried. ‘I knew he was an untrustworthy, greedy, selfseeking wretch, but I didn’t know he was a child-molester too.’
He fell back in his seat, clenching and unclenching his fists.
‘I never told my father what had happened with him,’ said Luna. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if it had continued, but Dad didn’t much care for any of the Herreras, so in the end I didn’t have to worry. My father always took a dim view of sharp practice in business, and shortly after the incident he berated Lorenzo for some dubious piece of wheeling and dealing. It was the last we saw of my uncle, thank heavens. Little by little I seemed to forget … although I didn’t, did I?’
Ruy shook his head. ‘No, my poor Luna, you didn’t forget. You just buried it all safely underground, where much of it lay in your subconscious.’
‘Anyhow, after that I just found that I couldn’t relax with boys,’ Luna added. ‘If they came on too strong, I would simply freeze so I became used to being standoffish, aloof. I grew up not trusting any man. Then you came along …’
She gave a shaky laugh.
Ruy reached for her hand, squeezing it gently, though his expression was still intense. ‘Yes, I came along, and I’m never going to let you suffer on your own ever again,’ he said, then followed his vow with another, grimmer one.
‘I’m going to bring that canalla down if it’s the last thing I do, Luna. Your uncle was already my nemesis before you told me any of this.’ He released her hand, and stared out to sea again, looking thunderous. ‘He’s done his best to destroy the Institute, commissioning articles for the medical press using bogus statistics to discredit us. In the meantime, he pumps his ill-gotten gains into offshore accounts, those overpriced drugs he withholds from desperate developing nations, while lining his own pockets.’
Ruy’s gaze held hers fervently.
‘And now I find that he’s hurt the one person closest to my heart …’
‘But what can you do?’ asked Luna, warming inside at his admission.
‘I don’t know right now,’ said Ruy grimly. ‘But I assure you, one day that man will pay dearly for what he’s done.’
Chapter 13
Luna hugged her arms to her body and stared out to sea. Unburdening herself to Ruy had given her a new kind of peace but she knew this was just the start of her healing.
‘I’m not sure what to do next,’ she whispered almost inaudibly. She turned her face towards him. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Yes, querida?’
He was studying her intently. His eyes were definitely his most stunning feature, vibrant with intelligence and simmering with a depth of feeling that took her breath away, she thought distractedly.
‘You mentioned treatment … to help with the nightmares. Do you think you can help me, Ruy?’
Before, she would have been too proud and too fixed in her ways to ask such a thing of anyone, but now it seemed natural to put herself in someone’s care – in his care.
‘Of course I can, querida, of course,’ he said softly, lifting his hand to her face and tenderly brushing a stray hair away from her temple. ‘The important thing is that Lorenzo did not hurt you physically. Given time, everything else can be remedied. I know a colleague to whom I can refer you for therapy, if you’ll let me.’
He was leaning in close towards her and Luna became aware of his familiar masculine scent again.
‘Yes, of course,’ she murmured.
His trailing fingertip left a heated sensation on her silken skin as it moved down to caress the side of her cheek. At that moment, it dawned on her how easy it would be for Ruy to kiss her. How she wanted to feel the touch of his mouth on hers again, to have him hold her.
The realization made her senses alert and inflamed. Her sudden stillness caused a flicker in the depths of Ruy’s gaze. Taking in her expression, his breath caught and the tension gathered between them, neither one of them moving. A tiny pulse was beating at the corner of his mouth. He said nothing, just stared at her. Luna moved an inch towards him, but Ruy pulled back and dropped his hand.
‘If I touch you now, Luna, there’ll be no escape.’
Her gaze fell to his mouth. ‘Who wants to escape?’
He exhaled heavily. ‘I don’t want you to rush into anything.’
She looked into his eyes that cloaked her in their azure blueness.
‘Ruy, I’ve been blind.’
His voice was softly abrasive. ‘Querida, believe me, you can’t know how tempted I am, but you’re exhausted and vulnerable, and my self-control is already at breaking point.’
‘But Ruy, I’m fine, I just need—’
‘You’re not fine, Luna. Not yet. I’ve always told you that I will be waiting when you’re ready, but now is not the time.’
‘Do you always have to have the last word?’
‘Yes, I do.’ His face broke into a wide smile. He stood up and held out his hand. ‘Come, it’s a beautiful day. Let’s not waste it. Besides, I could do with going for a swim and working off all this excess energy,’ he added with a mischievous raise of his eyebrow.
‘An excess of bossiness more like,’ she quipped.
A deep laugh rumbled in his chest. ‘Now who has to have the last word?’
Luna grinned at him as she took his hand to stand up, pleased at least there was an easy mood between them now.
They spent the rest of the day swimming and chatting casually, with Luna occasionally napping on the sand next to Ruy as he read quietly. She was surprised to find that he was right: she was still tired; the events of the last twenty-four hours had drained her.
Despite her sleepiness, however, Luna was feeling better. Most of her aches and pains had subsided, including the stiffness in her back; her collarbone was only bruised, and whatever medicine Ruy had used to treat the wound on her thigh had been so effective that she only felt a slight discomfort now. The salt water had stung at first when they swam together in the refreshing cool of the sea, but Ruy had told her the iodine and salt could only do her good, and he was right. Luna was beginning to be converted to his earthy commonsense way of healing.
She noticed how careful he was around her. All day she had longed for him to touch her and, infuriatingly, he had kept clear of any tactile contact. Every now and then he caught her watching him and, as his amused blue eyes searched her intent amber gaze, she was unable to stem the pink hue that coloured her face.
So many times, while they talked and strolled along the beach or sat and ate beneath the clear blue skies, he would turn and, for a moment, it seemed that time stood still as they looked at each other in silence, her eyes bright and feverish, his dark and unfathomable.
That night, as Ruy slept just a few feet away and Luna lay in her bed alone and restless, her body on fire, still crying out for his, she realized that she no longer had a sense of which of the two of them was waiting to be ready.
* * *
It was still early but the sun was already brilliant in a cloudless sky when Luna woke the next morning. Surprisingly, despite her disturbed awareness of Ruy’s presence so near to her, she had eventually given in to exhaustion and had slept soundly through the night. Now, stretching her arms, she yawned and lay in bed for a while, savouring the feeling of wellbeing that filled
her heart and her body. Her spirits were high and she felt charged up with vitality, physically invigorated.
She sat up and saw Ruy fast asleep on the floor next to the open window. In repose his face looked so young. His raven-black hair fell across the side of his forehead, almost covering one eye. Her gaze settled on his taut, beautifully moulded lips. They had kissed hers a bare three times, but she would never forget the fire of their passionate touch and the sensual impact those kisses had had on her senses.
Her eyes moved down to his chest. He was naked to the waist, the bottom half of his body covered by his sleeping bag; her fingers itched to touch his copper-gold skin, so smooth and satiny. The blood heated in her veins as she wondered if his lower half was naked too. Her desire for him had never been so strong and she felt neither guilt nor shame about it.
Her mind drifted back to the day before, when he had bathed her naked body, soaping every part of her with such exquisite tenderness and torturous erotic awareness. She remembered every single thing he had done to her and the memory of his touch was intoxicating, causing sharp ripples of excitement to quiver down her spine and across every inch of the skin his fingers had run over. She didn’t try to subdue it: on the contrary, she welcomed the sweet yearning that possessed her and made her feel dizzy.
She knew he was fighting his desire for her – he had admitted it outright. Luna smiled to herself, a sudden touch of mischief kissing her eyes. Today, if he lost the battle, she would not attempt to escape him. The jealousy she had felt over Sabrina – and Vaina for that matter – had evaporated now that he had explained about them, and she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had proved that she mattered to him and for now that was all that counted.
Legacy Page 38
