Killing Hearts

by P. Brier

  “I love you, Jesse Montgomery” I whisper in her ear. I feel her shudder and tears cascade down her face as she leans further into me. Mine.

  20: Prisoner

  “You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control.”

  ― Megan Chance, The Spiritualist

  Then…

  Jesse Montgomery

  HE LOVE ME, I love him too. But I can’t tell him that. My mother is going to ruin everything, either way I lose him. I can betray him and send him to prison for a crime I committed, or I can sign his execution paperwork by calling her bluff. One, he will hate me, two, he will be gone. I see no other way out of this. Mother wins, either way.

  I don’t care about the business, she can have it, but Danny is dead and nobody knows about Travis. According to fathers will, everything goes to me. Mother needs me around, but Bane knows the truth and for some reason mother doesn’t want it getting out.

  After we made love, we packed up our stuff and headed on the road. Bane seemed content for the first time, and I don’t want to see that happiness disappear. I have a week to make up my mind. Less than that, if I want to come up with a clear plan. Less damage as possible, yeah right.

  Bane reaches over and grabs my hand and rubs his thumbs over the top. Electricity vaults up my arm at his embrace and sadness consumes me at the thought of losing him again. I send him a sweet smile, and he returns the gesture. I never said the words back, but he seemed to be okay with that.

  We stay with our hands interlocked, staring forward, not wanting to break the trance, it was peaceful. We have been driving for hours and he pulls up to a highway café. It was quaint and homey, with a bubbly blonde waitress who took us to our booth. I ordered a Denver Omelette and Bane smiles, not understanding the sentiment, I raise an eyebrow. He chuckles and orders a Hungry Man Breakfast Platter with extra sausage. How he is going to eat all that baffles me, but nothing surprises me anymore. He couldn’t be his size by eating salads.

  After the waitress politely excuses herself, Bane turns to me and smiles, and the warmth in his eyes both excites me and bothers me. I only have so long, then I must let him go. He may hate me, but at least he will be alive. Fate is a fickle bitch, she tore us apart to have us back in each other’s arms, to lose each other once again.

  “What is on your mind, Jesse”

  I don’t say anything, I don’t know what to say? Oh, by the way, I know we finally got each other, but, I am going to send you to prison to save your life? Or how about, my mother is psychotic bitch who wants you to go to prison for a crime I committed, but don’t worry, its only for the rest of your life.

  He stares at me, his eyes pleading for an answer. I know he can feel something, and I wish I could tell him, But I can’t risk it, he has given up enough for me. He reaches over and grabs my hand and gives it a tight squeeze.

  “You can trust me, I know I failed you before, but I am here now. Tell me”

  “Y-you didn’t, fail me,” I stutter, trying to find the right words.

  “Then what is it, you have been acting strange since the hotel room. Was it because I said the L word,” he is just as scared as I am, but he continues, “because you don’t have to say it back, I understand you need time”

  “It’s not that” I mutter. I can’t let him get killed, I know prison is any better, but at least he would be alive, breathing, I could figure something out after that.

  “Have you ever wondered if it’s your turn, to live your life. Bane you gave up everything for my family and yours, to keep their secret, Danny is dead. Maybe you should wipe your hands clean. Move on. Not die,” I breath, “maybe it’s not worth it.”

  He squeezes my hand tighter, and scoots over to my side of the booth. He grabs my face in his.

  “Listen to me, you are worth it. I am living now with you. Whatever happens, happens, in the end, your it, I won’t stop fighting for you. Got it”

  I nod, feeling warmth course through my veins, no one has ever said such beautiful nothings to me. No one cared enough in that way to try. He was my everything. I loved him with all my heart. Momentarily forgetting the ugly truth of our situation, I say the three words that sealed our fate.

  “I love you, Bane”

  He returns my words with a genuine smile, he shakes his head and chuckles. He pulls me out of the booth and throws enough for our meal and thirty-percent tip.

  He wraps his arms around my waist and hoist me up so I’m straddling his hips. I let out a content giggle, and put my face into his neck to hide my embarrassment. Everyone in the diner is staring and my brute man takes me out to the truck, hoots and hollers from the other patrons send me in to a hysterical laughter. He sets me on the bed of the truck and positions himself between my legs.

  He places a small peck on my nose,

  “Say it again” he demands.

  “I love you” I whisper, not recognising my voice.

  His lips connect with mine, and a moan escapes his lips. His hand comes behind my head, pulling me closer. He fingers tangled in my hair. My hands come up and around his neck never wanted to let go. The kiss is possessive and I know he is staking his claim. He pulls away, his lips swollen for the heat.

  “It’s our turn, and no one can take it from us. No one.”

  A tear escapes my eyes at his words, and the reality of the situation bares down on me. Only me. I am so sorry, Bane.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Now…

  What is happening? I am so confused. I deserve what I am getting, but I was praying for the end. I didn’t want to suffer anymore. Now he is keeping me alive, his change of moods is cruel, he said “not now”, this must be a game. He is playing with me. I guess physical torture isn’t the only kind he offers.

  He walked out and left me here in his bed, clothed and confused. My body is screaming in agony, but I still try to stand. This is the most physical freedom I have had in days, I will be taking advantage of it. My body wants to move and I will not deny it that pleasure, no matter how painful it was to even breathe. I walk to the bathroom, first wanting to see the damage. I lift the shirt and what greets me causes me to shiver, tears well up in my eyes, I will scar, this will be with me forever, if I live that long. The words, LITTLE LAMB is carved into my stomach. Deep, crusted, bloody cuts are forever engraved into me, and no matter what, I will never forget what they did to me in that room.

  I continue to stare at my reflection, I am pale, and tired, I know at least one of my ribs are cracked, and the bruises littering my body will fade but slowly. I don’t know how I am standing right now, but I won’t stay down, not when I need to fight. He may be avenging his incarceration, but I was doing it to save him, so I will not lay down and die or be abused. Not anymore.

  There is a knock at the door, and I lower my shirt and walk into the bedroom right as he is opening the door with a plate, steam billows off the plate and the smell of eggs and toast assault my nose. My stomach growls in appreciation, but I can’t let him win.

  “I am not eating that; how do I know it’s not poisoned” I sneer.

  He ignores me and sets the plate down on the end table.

  “You shouldn’t be up, you need to heal.” He counters.

  This time I ignore him, I just stare at him with as much grimace as I can muster. He shakes his head, and walks over to me.

  “Just eat, okay, I told you I won’t hurt you. There is a lot to talk about.” his hand comes up and takes a strand of hair and rolls it between his fingers, it’s a gesture he used to do before mother happened. He drops the hair and turns to leave, before leaving he concludes, “I’ll be back later, we will talk then.”

  I hear the lock of the door after he shuts it behind him. I am still his prisoner, nothing has changed. I must find a way out of here, I pick up the plate of food, needing all the substance I can, because before he gets back, I’ll be gone.

  21: Changing Sides

  “There are t
wo sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.”

  ― Ayn Rand

  Then…

  Travis Montgomery

  IT HAS BEEN over five months since my plan failed. Father betrayed me, not that I am surprised, I was going to betray him first. But what surprised me the most is how much hatred burned in Jesse’s eyes for her father. Over the years Marco would come visit me. It was never pleasant, there were always pictures of the Montgomery family, happy and free, spoiled and taken care of. This fumed my wrath for both Jesse and Irina. Father and I never were close, but he was honest. He told me about Irina not wanting two sons, and that she saw something in me that she hated. He told me how badly he wanted a babygirl and that Jesse was his only chance. If he didn’t get rid of me then she would kill Jesse. He obliged.

  But, I am starting to think his story was bullshit. I mean, yeah, the first sign was him wanting me to kill her. But she didn’t look surprised. When Bane shot Franco, Marco and I took aim behind a toppled over cement barricade. I fought alongside him, because now our enemy was the two of them. But he turned toward me, with a smile that made my skin crawl, I prepared myself for the worst.

  “You failed” he spits and shoots me in the leg. I bit my lip to hold back a girlish scream and grab my leg to stop the bleeding. I look at the blood and I knew it was over, it was right by my femoral artery. If I didn’t get to a hospital I would die.

  But somehow, I did make it to a hospital, woke up wondering how I got here, and why I was still alive. Hell, I should be dead. Even if Bane and Jesse survived Marco, they wouldn’t save me. But they did, I remember titbits of that moment, she saved me, for that I owe her something, For the last few months since I got out of the hospital, I have been searching for them both.

  About two months ago someone tried to kill me. I was walking to my apartment in Ohio, when someone came up behind and tried to slit my throat. I grabbed my assailant by the arm and flipped him over and plunged the knife into his chest. It went through like butter. I swiped his phone and found the one and only Irina as the last call. The bitch wanted me dead, well thanks mother.

  I have always thought that Jesse knew what they were up to, I thought she showered herself with pleasantries with the blood money, while the rest of us suffered. I get it, kind of calling the kettle black here, given my career. But I kill people that deserve to die, people like Marco and Irina. But now, I think differently. The way she looked at Marco, she feared him, hell, she ran away from him. The stories they fed me were lies. I slip into a memory, one I wish would go away.

  God, I hate this place. My new home is nothing but druggies and gang bangers. How they became foster parents is beyond me. I haven’t been here more than a month, before the fist started flying. Of course, I fought back, but still, I hate this place. I’m tired of fighting. I mean hell, I’m only fourteen, and my whole life has been nothing but fighting for survival. I would be better off on the streets than the dumps they throw me in like trash on their shoe.

  It’s my birthday but I don’t expect anything. I am sure my biological family is celebrating my twin’s day like the spoiled piece of shit he is, not that I am bitter or anything. I kick a rock on the sidewalk and lay my head low. I’d rather stay unnoticed than face the crapshoots in that house. I walk up the steps and hear a woman’s voice I have never heard before, yet seemed so familiar.

  “I am going to see Travis, then I will be out your hair, trust me, I don’t want to be in this shithole much longer” she squeals and the sound grates on my ears. She wants to see me, well I give her what she wants.

  I barge in, like I always do, but instead of heading to my room I step into the kitchen where the voice is getting louder.

  “Hi” I mumble, breaking the stance they all seem to be in. Everyone looks tense and it give me pleasure knowing this fragile woman can cause so much emotion of these assholes. “I guess, you wanted to see me”

  She stares at me, recognizing me instantly, I give her a confused look, she shakes her head and walks over to me.

  “I’m your mother we need to talk.” My mother, Marco was the only one who ever came to see me, and those visits were not friendly. I don’t think he came because he wanted to, there was always something he was hiding, but he always made sure I saw all the family photos, they had the life I was supposed to have, for that I want vengeance, soon, I will get it. Jesse and Danny will never know what hit them.

  “What do you want?”

  “I wanted to see you, I wanted to know I did the right thing”

  “And what was that, mother” I said with as much disdain as I could muster.

  “Got rid of the right son. The anger radiates off you son, it burns inside you, you hate me, that’s okay, because I am going to use you to take back what is rightfully mine, when its time I will come for you, just be ready” with that she turns and leaves. I stand in the kitchen confused as shit, but exhilarated, she needs me, well good. Cause I need her.

  The sound of a horn blaring breaks me out of my thoughts. Right now, I’m heading to Colorado. Turns out Bane and I have a mutual friend. He works for the Guardians, and he is also a confidante for Bane. He is loaning out his cabin in Rye for a week. I will be there before they arrive. I know things will be rocky, but I want to talk, I need to find out their motives. I need to talk to her, find out her story, and tell her mine.

  I haven’t been in contact with Theo, as far as he knows I’m dead. It saddens me to know that the only person I deem worthy is morning my death. I am a bastard, but I not going to let him be collateral damage if this goes south.

  I pull up to the cabin at six thirty, pleased to find the area empty. I walk the house, finding the most unthreatening position possible. I don’t know why, but when they saved my ass, something switched. My hatred for my sister changed, when I saw her reaction to her father, I knew she burned with the same vengeance I had for so many years.

  The cabin is desolate and tall trees litter the acreage in the front. Behind the cabin you can see mountains reaching for the sky. The inside is locked so I have no way of waiting for them in there. The front porch has a set of chairs and I decide to wait there for their homecoming. This could go two ways peacefully or deadly.

  The sound of gravel underneath tires, stirs me from my thoughts. They’re here. I stand from my sitting position and put my hands up in sign of surrender.

  Bane says something to Jesse and she nods, but doesn’t look happy at what I am sure is a demand. He steps out of the truck. He makes a show of his weapon in his hand. He rushes up to me and grabs me by my throat and pushes me up against the porch. I feel the metal of his gun causing an indention on my forehead.

  “What do you want” he growls, “If it’s a fight, let’s get it over with. But you’re not coming near her.” He pushes the gun further, which causes me to growl. You’re lucky your alive fucker, I should kill you now. Then talk to my sister, my thoughts like canon in my brain.

  “I’m not here to fight, I’m here to talk, that’s all” I force out.

  “You tried to kill her, what makes you think she has anything to say to you”

  “Because for some reason, she saved me, I want to know why”

  He steps back, “One wrong move” the warming clear. He nods to Jesse and she gets out of the truck.

  He smiles to Jesse and she gets out of the truck.

  “Travis, you’re alright” she seems cautious but warm, not the picture Marco painted. Not the narcissistic bitch that got everything and anything she wanted.

  “I’m fine, thank you. I can assume you were the one to thank for that.”

  “Bane and I, yes. You’re my brother. I couldn’t let you die, I already lost one.”

  At the mention of Danny, she looks down, sadness envelops her features.

  “I was going to kill you” I say astonished.

  “Yes, but you are just as much a victim to them as I am, I was hoping you would see that”

  “
I’m starting to”

  “How did you find us” Bane interrupts.

  “Mutual friend” I state not looking away from Jesse. For the first time since Theo, I may have found family. Real family. But I can’t see it working out. I am a killer. I’m still fucked up. I have no problem slitting someone throat, and I don’t believe Jesse is going to be an exception, but for now, she is safe.

  “Fucking Trevor” Bane growls, pulling me from my thoughts, I snicker at this, Trevor has always been bad at keeping his mouth shut, for the right price, he will sell his great grandmothers gravy recipe faster than you can say family secret.

  I go to grab the suitcase in her hand and she flinches.

  “You’re okay” I whisper.

  She doesn’t answer but hands me her suitcase with an unsure smile.

  “What did he do to you” I demand

  She shakes her head and starts walking into the house. I let her leave but I don’t stop there.

  “What did he do to her”

  He stares at me, probably trying to figure me out, I would do the same.

  “She was his punching bag since the age of three, only God knows what else he did to her”

  Fuck this.

  Part Three

  22: Playing the Part

  “Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible. But in the end, they always fall. Always.”

  ― Mahatma Gandhi, The Story of My Experiments With Truth

  18 Years Earlier…

  Irina AKA Star

  THE TWO LINES stare back at me. Fuck. Pregnant. Marco managed to plant a seed and now I have a baby on the way. He is such a pussy. He doesn’t even know that Danny and Travis are not his. John, Bane’s father, was great and if I wasn’t so coked up, it probably could have been something, but god damn it, I loved to party. The two brats we already have are hard enough, now I have the spawn inside me. No more kids. I am done. If I can’t get rid of this one, I need to get rid of one of them. Two was enough. Travis. He is always needing something. Such a “momma’s boy”, if I wanted to be followed around by a toddler all day, I sure as hell would have picked a different profession.