by Leo Romero
Something tore across my vision, yelling and screaming. Jagelon raced up to Death and clobbered him on the head with one of his sledgehammers. The old man hit the deck and stayed there, knocked clean out. Jagelon went to deliver the killer blow when an electric soldier hurled a bolt at him. It hit him square in the chest, freezing him in place. War seized the initiative. He sprinted up to Jagelon and gave him a thump with his own hammer. The blow staggered Jagelon back into life. He managed to get both his sledgehammers up in an X-shape in time to parry War’s next attack. Jagelon returned the sentiment, swinging both hammers at once, bringing them together, hoping to sandwich War in between the heads. He caught War on both shoulders, the dark magic pulsating out onto the air. War roared in agony, but wasn’t about to let up. He swung his hammer, his lean muscles flexing. Jagelon absorbed the blow with his own weapons, and the two became locked in battle.
It was madness. Mini battles ongoing all around me. I was about to join the fun when my ears pricked. A buzz was swelling in volume in the background. My brow furrowed. And then the noise registered in my mind. Flies. Thousands of them.
I whirled around to see Pestilence with his arms raised. He was releasing his babies. They burst out of his palms in a black cloud, swarming my way. I ducked in the nick of time, the buzz intensifying. They shot overhead like a bullet. I rushed forward but ran straight into an electric soldier. It got in my face, bright light almost blinding me. I thrust Excalibur forward on instinct, getting the soldier right in the abdomen. We both shuddered under the connection, sparks and intense light erupting like a firework show. I pushed in harder, and the electric soldier’s back straightened. There was a loud pop, and the streaks of electricity making up its body sputtered into the air, leaving a hot, smoky residue.
Behind me, the swarm of flies reached Lothar. They slammed into his back, sticking to him as if he was smothered in glue. He straightened and let out a roar of agony as the flies got busy chewing their way into him.
“Margaroth!” Draxil shouted. Margaroth swooped down onto the roof. Draxil leaped onto his back, chainsaw in one hand, dark fire flaring in the other. Draxil growled and Margaroth leaped across the roof like a panther. On reaching Lothar, Draxil threw out a fireball. It hit the clump of flies stuck to his back, burning them away. Lothar cried in pain as the fire seared his flesh, dropping him to his knees.
“Thanks!” he grunted at Draxil as he went by, who was still riding Margaroth.
Draxil pointed at Pestilence, who was stood alone, guiding and cajoling his legions of flies. Margaroth obeyed, scampering up to the horseman. Draxil lashed his chainsaw toward Pestilence as Margaroth galloped by him. The buzzing blade slashed Pestilence across the chest, cutting deep. Green goo spilled out of the gash, staining his robes. Pestilence screamed and fell away to the side in a crumpled heap. His flies dispersed into unorganized groups, flying haphazard, their threat temporarily neutered. Margaroth reached the edge of the rooftop. He flapped his wings and took to the sky, where he circled back and landed. Draxil jumped off to get back into action.
Meanwhile, Jagelon was still trading blows with War, the two of them swinging their hammers against one another. Man, Jagelon really had it in for that guy. An electric soldier came to War’s aid, dancing across the roof. It grabbed Jagelon’s wrist, hitting him with a bunch of volts, rooting him in place. Jagelon’s head spasmed under the strain. War was about to go in for the kill when Lothar stomped across the roof, eating it up with his massive stride. He sent out a kick, catching War full-on. War was thrown across the roof, slamming into one of his own electric soldiers, evaporating it on impact. He stayed on the ground, vulnerable to an attack.
Lothar lifted his massive foot and brought it down on the electric soldier burdening Jagelon, dampening the electricity until it vaporized into nothing.
Jagelon looked up at Lothar, smoke rising from his now blackened head. “Thanks, brother,” Jagelon said and raced off to finish War. Lothar gave him a nod. He stomped off and sent a kick toward the final electric soldier, sending it back into the ether. The rooftop dimmed, but the fight continued.
Famine, who’d been quiet so far, then decided to show us some of his tricks. He wobbled across the roof toward Jagelon before he could kill War. He reached Jagelon’s back. His bloated cheeks puffed up, his huge belly and chest convulsing like he was about to throw up.
“Jag!” I shouted. “Behind you!”
Jagelon swung his head back to see Famine open his mouth and release a disgusting yellow-green substance. Jagelon leaped back, avoiding the noxious brew. It splattered on the roof where it pooled and bubbled and hissed.
Man, these guys had the hygiene and manners of baboons. I hated them all!
War got the second he needed to get back in the game. He leaped to his feet and swung his hammer at Jagelon’s arm. Jagelon screamed in agony, the grip on his hammer loosening. The hammer fell into the puddle of Famine’s gunk where it melted like ice on a hot stove. My eyes widened in alarm. It was acid. Famine was a goddamn xenomorph.
His cheeks puffed up as he readied another acid bomb. I let out a roar and torpedoed in, shooting by War and Jagelon. I slammed right into Famine’s rotund belly. He barely budged, and I almost bounced off, but I held on, grabbing big handfuls of flab. It rippled under my grip. Famine threw his arms around me, getting me in a bear hug. He instantly squeezed. The breath bolted from my chest. Famine squeezed harder. My bones felt like they were about to crack.
I was forced to watch in horror as his cheeks puffed up again and his belly convulsed. A disgusting grumble from his belly sent panic shooting through my mind. He was getting another upchuck going, and he was gonna let it loose all over me. If I didn’t do anything fast, it was acid attack time.
My instincts tweaked. I pulled my head back and rammed it forward, headbutting him in the chin. The blow loosened his grip enough for me to get my dark magic arm up to face level. I thought of my mother, and I got the biggest shitball I could: fat, round, big, and weighty. Famine gazed down at me with bulbous eyes. He opened his mouth to let me have it.
“Hungry?” I asked before I fed him. I stuffed the shitball into his mouth and pushed down hard. He gulped involuntarily, and the globule squeezed down his gullet into his cavernous belly. His grip relaxed further. I tumbled to the roof like a bag of rocks. I staggered back, while Famine’s belly burped and pulsed and inflated. The gas took over, expanding him like he was a blimp, his head turning into a beach ball. Tiny eyes gazed out of a pink, fleshy mass.
“She’s gonna blow!” I shouted, getting everyone’s attention. I took to the sky and flung myself backward, while Famine’s gut swelled up beyond its limits. He let out an abrupt screech that intensified alongside his growing belly. The pressure gave in, and he exploded outward like a melon, green gunk and crap spraying out all over the roof, Jagelon getting a big splat in the face.
Everything ground to a halt for a couple of seconds. We all watched on in stunned silence. My heart beat slow and steady. We stared in amazement at the only thing left of Famine, which was his stumpy legs, the knees knobbly. They fell to the side.
One of the horsemen was dead. He’d overeaten and paid the price. My eyes widened in hope. We had them.
Chapter 32
Draxil was the first to break the silence. He lifted his chainsaw to the sky and let out a victory cry. He raced in toward Death, who was still unconscious. Jagelon and War went back at it, while Lothar stomped across the rooftop, heading for Pestilence, who was gingerly rising to his feet.
A smile broke out over my lips. We were winning. And one man up.
I was about to go after the nearest horseman when their horses loitering at the far end of the roof started to get agitated. I watched them in confusion as they stood on their hind legs, neighing loudly at the gray sky. They didn’t land back on all fours. Instead, the beasts morphed into actual horse-men, their back legs becoming human-like legs, their front ones developing into muscular arms, hooves at the ends of them. I cou
ldn’t believe what I was seeing.
My heart sank. Oh man, I didn’t know we’d be taking on their horses as well.
One of them stampeded in toward Draxil, who’d reached Death’s prone body. He went to bring the chainsaw down on Death’s back, when Death’s horse-man, the pale one, opened its mouth and shot out its tongue like a lance. It struck Draxil’s wrist, wrapping around it like a whip. The horse-man yanked back, throwing the chainsaw across the roof. It released its tongue from Draxil’s wrist and sent it toward his ankles instead, wrapping it around them. The horse-man yanked. Draxil’s back smashed into the roof. The horse-man set off, dragging Draxil behind it toward the edge of the roof. My eyes widened in alarm. I was about to go after it, when Famine’s bloated horse-man and Pestilence’s half-rotted horse-man rushed in toward Lothar, letting out bassy growls, their hooves clomping over the concrete roof. Lothar didn’t know what hit him. They leaped up and onto his back, their weight sending him crashing to the roof face-first.
My eyes flicked from him to Draxil beyond and the pale horse-man dragging him to the edge of the roof. I leaped in the air and set off to save Draxil, Excalibur at the ready. By the time I reached Lothar, War’s black horse-man was already there, kicking seven bells out of Lothar’s head. Its hooves thudded on the big guy’s dome, snapping it left and right while the other two held him down. They neighed and squealed as he struggled beneath them. I reached them and swung Excalibur back and then forward again. I chopped through Famine’s horse-man’s bulging neck, taking its head clean off as I sped past them all toward Draxil. I looked back to see its headless body slump to the ground, relieving Lothar of its heavy burden.
Lothar threw out an arm and grabbed the leg of the black horse-man kicking him. He flipped it up and over, causing it to crash to the rooftop. Pestilence’s horse-man stamped down hard on Lothar’s back, and I heard the snap of bone from where I was.
I wanted to help, but my focus was on Draxil, who was dangerously close to the edge of the roof. The pale horse-man raced off the side. It swung Draxil around and released its tongue. Draxil was thrown off the building. His arms and legs thrashed on the air. My heart skipped a beat. I sped up. Draxil started to plummet. I shot past the edge of the building and threw out an arm. I managed to grab hold of Draxil’s ankle. Boy, was he heavy. If I’d held him for longer than a second, we’d have both dropped like lead. Instead, I flapped my wings like crazy and performed a quick U-turn, using the momentum to throw him back the way he came.
He flew back toward the building like some kind of deformed bird, while I doubled back. Draxil hit the roof face-first where he slid along, the skin on his cheek scraping off. He got up on his knees and glared up at me, a flap of skin hanging off his face like torn wallpaper. He grinned and gave me a brisk nod of appreciation. I didn’t have time to lap it up. Lothar was still being stomped on by the rotten horse-man. I went straight for him, flying like an arrow. The horse-man saw me coming. It opened its mouth and released a stream of lime-green fire. I swung to the side, barely missing it, my skin heating under the shimmering air. I raced by, the horse turning its head around with me, still breathing that fire. I circled it as fast as I could, hoping to make it dizzy. After a couple of spins, it had the desired effect. The horse-man’s eyes rolled, and it ran out of gas. I came to a stop ahead of it, drawing Bam Bam. I aimed and fired, blowing off half of its decayed head. It flopped to the ground, while I quickly pulled a couple of slugs from my pocket to reload.
Lothar jumped to his feet. At the same time, Pestilence got back on his, a hand pressed up to his chest wound, rage glimmering in his eyes. He snatched a quick breath and threw up his arms. The buzz of flies filled the air. Lothar kicked the remains of Pestilence’s horse-man as hard as he could, sending them crashing into Pestilence himself. Pestilence was knocked back down again, and the buzz of his flies petered out.
I got Bam Bam reloaded. Something rough and slick slapped my wrist, causing me to drop her. My head snapped down. I got a glimpse of pale horse-man tongue before I was pulled away. I hit the roof stomach-first, and I was dragged along, the concrete raking painfully down my torso as the pale horse-man galloped away. I gritted my teeth against the pain and tried flapping my wings, but the horse-man was going too fast for me to get off the ground. I was helpless as it raced to a specific part of the roof. I watched in horror as Famine’s puddle of acid puke came heading my way. The horse-man knew exactly what it was doing. It leaped over the puddle, knowing that the thing it was dragging along would fall in. I got a glimpse of that steaming pool and panic set in. I was about to be melted. The toxic mess dominated my vision, bright-green and steaming.
My mouth opened to release a scream, my mind ripped to shreds.
Something big and red lunged in ahead of me, slamming into the pale horse-man, knocking it over. I came to an abrupt stop, that puddle sitting inches away from my face. The reek of rot and bile flittered up my nose, and I gagged. Beyond it, Margaroth dug his mighty claws into the pale horse-man’s hide. The horse-man released a neighing wail. Relief imploded inside me. I blew Margaroth a kiss for saving my life.
The two beasts grappled, rolling across the roof, the horse-man bringing down its hooves on Margaroth’s back in desperation while the hellhound gnawed at the horse-man’s mighty neck, guttural grunts bursting out of him. The horse-man wouldn’t relinquish its tongue’s grip on my wrist. I was thrown this way and that like a lassoed cow, that puddle still dangerously close. I thumped the tongue with my free hand, but it wouldn’t budge.
A familiar chug and buzz hit my eardrums. I came to a stop as that dark-imbued chainsaw chewed through the tongue. Draxil kept his gaze fixed on it despite being sprayed with a viscous white liquid. The chainsaw severed the tongue with minimal effort, and I was freed of its burden. Draxil turned to face me, wiping the goo from his face.
“Thanks,” I said to him as I unraveled that meaty tongue from my wrist. He nodded at me and raced off after Margaroth and the pale horse-man. Margaroth sank his massive teeth into the horseman’s throat and clamped his jaws down. There was a sickening crack, and the horse-man’s body went limp, the head bending at an unnatural angle. The life dissolved from its eyes, and Margaroth slung its body to the side like a piece of rotten meat.
We barely had time to catch our breath before the final horse-man, War’s black horse, started stamping its hooves on the roof. The whole roof tremored under the impact, shaking the world like a quake. Lothar toppled and fell, thudding onto the roof. I teetered and took to the air in the nick of time. I looked down. The black horse-man had doubled in size. With every stomp of its hooves, it grew larger. It stood upright, now as tall as Lothar and twice as bulky. It lifted its muzzle to the sky and let out a deep neigh that echoed across Chicago. It laid eyes on me as I hovered on the air; it threw out a giant hoof. I swooped to the side, the ensuing rush of air pushing me back. Man, it was the equestrian version of King Kong.
A roar cut across the air. Lothar jumped up from the ground and pounced onto the giant horse-man’s back, riding him like a rodeo horse. The horse-man released a neighing cry and went into a shrugging spasm. Lothar held on, digging his claws into its belly.
The horse-man screeched in agony and whipped around, almost hitting me in the process. I shot upward, the whole roof now in view. The two mighty fighters bounded across the rooftop in a drunken dance, stomping on anything in their way. They missed a prone Death by inches, Draxil having to leap on Margaroth’s back and fly away to safety before he got himself squashed. War and Jagelon were oblivious, still hammering lumps out of one another in their endless duel. Pestilence was out for the count, blood gushing from the chainsaw gash on his chest.
We couldn’t do anything until that giant horseman had been taken care of. Lothar was doing his best, biting and scratching away at the beast, drawing blood. The horse squealed and thrashed in desperation. It threw punches over its shoulder, smashing its hoof into Lothar’s face, but Lothar dug in, peppering the beast’s back with v
icious bites.
The horse-man swung its whole body over to the side, and they teetered dangerously close to the roof’s edge. My eyes widened in horror.
“Lothar!” Draxil screamed.
But it was too late. The horse-man went into a blind whirl, and they both toppled over the edge of the roof.
Chapter 33
My heart leaped into my throat. I flew over there as fast as an arrow. By the time I made it to the edge of the roof, Lothar and the horse-man were already halfway down to the street below. They continued to grapple and fight as they plummeted to their doom, a writhing mass of huge limbs. I watched them shrink with helpless eyes. Margaroth swooped in next to me, Draxil’s face wide with anxiety.
I turned my attention back to Lothar and the horse-man. They were an indistinct red and black ball on a gray landscape. They fell a bit further in utter silence and then splattered across the street in a dark hue. My heart sank. I stared at the bloody mess below, despondency swarming me like a plague. We were one man down. And our biggest man at that. But at least we’d taken care of the horses.
So long, Lothar, I thought with sadness in my heart. May Hell be merciful on you.
Draxil released a howl of anguish. My head snapped his way. He’d already got Margaroth turned around and was flying back into the fight. He leaped off Margaroth and raced straight over to join Jagelon, who was still locked in battle with War. War had him pinned down and was lining up a killer blow.
Draxil tore across the roof, a roaring inferno. War brought his hammer down. Draxil thrust his chainsaw in its path. The handle of War’s hammer struck the chainsaw blade. There was a jarring. Draxil yanked the chainsaw upward, severing War’s hammer in two. War gave the stump of wood in his hand a dumb stare. Draxil’s growl snapped him out of his fugue. Draxil thrust the chainsaw in toward War’s chest, roaring like a psychotic killer.
