by Chelle Bliss
I stepped outside into the cool air of a March evening and peered up at the sky. I wanted to be home, back in Tampa with my family. Tomorrow would be Sunday dinner and everyone would be gathered around my parents’ table.
I wanted that life back. My life.
As I climbed on my bike and headed back to the motel, I wanted to call James and see how things had gone with Izzy. I needed to know that he had been able to get as far away from here as possible and that there were no problems.
The spring air chilled my skin as I drove the back roads of Daytona toward the fleabag motel and my bed for the night. I was ready to ditch this damn town and head back to HQ.
The life might be fucked up, but I had a new normal, a new rhythm I had grown accustomed to. Any change in the routine made me antsy.
I didn’t trust any of the motherfuckers in this town. Each club was out for themselves. I didn’t give a fuck about their clubs or their wrongdoings. My main goal was bringing down the Sun Devils and, by association, the Vipers, and getting home in one piece.
Staying alive was the name of the game.
Chapter 2
Months had passed since Daytona. The time was drawing near for me to leave this town and her behind. Sitting at the back of the club, I kept my eyes fixed on Roxy. She didn’t belong in a place like this. In her mid-twenties, she was stuck in a dead-end life with no escape. Her face was sad, the sparkle long evaporated from her eyes. Her long, dark auburn hair grazed her waist as she danced on stage, swaying against her skin, drawing me in, and putting me in a trance. My heart ached as I watched her.
She was beautiful—stunning, actually—but I knew she was capable of so much more. I’d spent many nights with her. When she was wrapped in my arms, lulled into tranquility, she shared her dreams with me as her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to be mine, but I couldn’t do it. Asking her to be my old lady didn’t feel fair. I wasn’t a lifer.
She had been born into this life and given no other option. She would be a club whore or old lady and dance at the club. College was out of the picture after finishing high school. She knew her role, and like a good girl, she lived up to their expectations.
She was the one person I could be myself around. When we were tucked away in my room, tangled in my sheets, I could let my guard down, show my sweeter side. It was the only time in my miserable club existence where I felt whole. Roxy would wrap me in her goodness and make the day seem a little bit better.
Sometimes, guilt would creep in when I would think about the future—hers and mine. What would happen to her after the bust? The MC would be in chaos and I would be gone. The strippers depended on the support and protection of the MC, and the business would be in disarray. She was the type of girl who would land on her feet, but where would she even begin on that journey without the club to fall back on?
I pushed the thoughts of the future away, focusing instead on the present. Her long legs hugged the pole as “Beg for It” by Iggy Azalea blared through the sound system. I sucked on my cigarette, letting the haze of smoke cloud my view and give it a dreamlike quality.
She was of average build, not strung out and thin like most of the cokehead whores in the club—a rare good girl trapped in a life she didn’t want. Her hips were lush, meeting the curve of her waist.
I had to block the voices of the men who were screaming obscene words in her direction and wanting to lay their hands on what was rightfully mine. It turned my stomach, making me feel the need to rescue her from the stage and hide her away from the world—but it wasn’t my place.
She wasn’t mine. No matter how badly I wanted her to be, I couldn’t be a prick and ruin her life with my lies.
As her set ended, she bent down to gather the money that had been thrown on stage. Men began to whistle, hurling curse words like they were compliments as she scurried off, clutching the bills to her chest.
She knew I was here—I’d caught her eye halfway through her routine. I knew she’d be out to find me once she had a few minutes to collect herself.
Tonight, I needed her in my bed. The last couple of days had been shitty, so I needed to feel her to remind me why I was here. Feeling the good helped spur me forward and give me purpose when dealing with the bad.
I turned around, not wanting to watch the next girl on stage, concentrated on my beer, and took another drag of my cigarette. Minutes later, small fingers tangled in my hair, sending shivers down my spine.
Turning, I took in the sight of Roxy. “Hey, beautiful.” I groaned, her fingers on my skin driving me close to the edge. Once I’d stubbed out my smoke, I swiveled around on the stool.
“Hey yourself, handsome. Nice to see you’re back in town.” She smiled, her teeth shining as the corners of her mouth almost kissed her eyes. But it quickly evaporated as she looked over my shoulder.
“What’s wrong, Rox?” I gripped the back of her neck as I cupped her cheek.
She grimaced, averting her eyes from whatever had made her smile disappear. “Just a bad night, but it’s better now that you’re here.” Slowly, her eyes rose, meeting mine as a small grin spread across her face. “I want to get lost in you. Please say I can be yours, even if only for a night.” Her blinking eyes dropped to my mouth.
Digging my fingers into the nape of her neck, I brought her lips to mine. “I can make you forget.” Then I nipped at her mouth, dragging my tongue along her soft flesh.
Tiny moans escaped her as she melted into me, standing between my legs as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “Blue,” she whispered, with pleading eyes. “I want to run away and leave this place behind.”
Releasing her lips, I searched her face, trying to read her sincerity. “Angel, what’s got you so down today?”
She sighed, placing her forehead against mine.
“Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t want you to get mad,” she whispered, closing her eyes.
“Out with it, sweetheart,” I replied, grabbing her by the waist and easing her off me. “You know I always have your back.”
Swallowing hard, she stared at the floor and clasped her fingers together. “Well,” she started, and shook her head. “There’s this one creep that comes in here. He’s not with the MC, but he won’t leave me alone.”
I could feel my blood begin to pump faster before my heart followed suit. Through gritted teeth, I asked, “What. Did. He. Do?” I punctuated each word, trying to keep my voice low.
“He’s always in here when I work. I don’t know, Blue. I keep thinking I see him other places. I swear I saw him outside my apartment the other day.” She slowly brought her eyes to mine.
“What else?” So help me God, I wanted to kill the motherfucker.
Roxy might take her clothes off, but she wasn’t a bad girl. She was the sweetest person I knew.
“He’s sent me flowers. They were unsigned, but I knew it was him. When I see him, I get the fucking willies.” She gripped my shoulder, squeezing it tightly in her hands. “He scares me,” she confessed, blowing out a quick breath.
“Do you have his name?” My breathing was harsh, as I was ready to lose my shit.
I shouldn’t have been bothered with shit that happened at the club, especially to a woman associated with the MC. This wasn’t my real life. It was a façade and would soon be in the past, but I couldn’t be a complete prick. I liked Roxy too much to not protect her.
“What are you going to do, Blue?” Her grasp tightened on my shoulder as her eyes stared behind me.
“Is he here?” I asked, pushing her away before I climbed to my feet and looked down at her.
She nodded, her frown growing severe as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Just make him leave me alone. Don’t hurt him, though.”
Most women—and I use that term loosely—who worked here would want me to get rid of him, but not Roxy. I don’t mean she was a pushover or a weak woman—not by any means. She was tough as nails and could handle her own in most cases. Working in a sleazy strip club made
that a necessity. If you were shy or weak, it could be spotted a mile away, and everything with a dick would exploit it to their advantage.
“Roxy,” I growled, peering into her eyes. “I’ll do whatever I need to if it keeps you safe.” Then I placed a light kiss on her forehead, letting the small strands of red hair tickle my nose. She didn’t speak as she leaned into my kiss. “Just point him out and I’ll take care of him.”
She pulled back, looking around me toward the bar. “He’s sitting over there, staring at us. He’s wearing the baseball hat.”
He didn’t take his eyes off us. Prick had balls, I’d give him that much.
“Go finish getting ready to leave while I talk with him.” I winked at her. “Go.” I turned her around, smacked her ass, and then watched her walk away.
After she disappeared behind the curtain, I stalked toward him.
“Listen, motherfucker,” I snarled as I approached.
A small smile crept across his face as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “I’d watch how you speak to me,” he warned, showing no fear.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass how I speak to you. You need to leave Roxy the fuck alone.” I puffed out my chest, feeling territorial.
“Or what?” he asked, tilting his head.
“I’ll fuckin’ bury you.”
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he asked as he rose from the barstool, standing toe to toe with me.
“She’s mine. You keep your eyes off her. You stay the fuck away from her. You don’t look at her or breathe the same air as her. Am I fucking clear?” My arm felt like a windup toy. Some invisible force was holding it back, but if the right button were pressed, it would propel forward, breaking the cocksucker’s jaw.
“I don’t see your name on her.” His smile turned into a cocky-ass grin, and he appeared ready to go to battle.
“Clearly you aren’t from these parts and don’t understand how shit works. Let me help you out,” I said in a calm, even tone before my clenched fist hurled forward, slamming into his face. My knuckles stung as the sound of crunching bone filled the room. Even as the song “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry blared throughout the strip club, I could hear my hand connect with his jaw.
His head snapped to the side as he stumbled, but he stayed on his feet. Then he righted himself, rubbing his jaw with his fingers. “Not bad for an old bastard,” he stated, spitting blood near my boots.
My fist flew through the air and collided with the other side of his face. As soon as his body jerked to the right, I smashed him with my right fist, stunning him.
As I laid into him, hurling punches one after another, landing each blow with a little more force, he laughed. What type of crazy ass laughs as he’s getting his ass kicked?
As his body wobbled, swaying as he tried to find his footing, I yelled, “Stay the fuck away from her, or the next time, you’ll be taken out in a body bag!” Crouching down, I hit him with an uppercut, watching his head snap back before his body crumpled to the floor.
He didn’t move.
His laughter had disappeared, and his eyes were closed.
I’d knocked his ass out.
“Need me to take the trash out?” John, the bouncer, asked over my shoulder.
“John,” I said as I faced him, trying to stop myself from flipping the fuck out on him. I needed someone to keep an eye on Roxy from here on out when I wasn’t around, and I thought I could count on him. “Do not let him back in here. Ever. Got me?”
“Yeah, man. Sorry. I didn’t know he was a problem.”
I could see remorse in his eyes. John wasn’t a good person, but he never wanted to disappoint a member of the MC, especially me.
“He’s been bothering Roxy.” I shook my hand, the pain from slamming it into the little prick’s face over and over again finally seeped into my bones. “If he tries to come in here again, you need to let me know. Do not let him through those doors. Walk Roxy to her car each night to make sure she gets out of here safely. Understand?”
“Yeah, Blue. I got it. I’ll tell the other guys,” he huffed out as he grabbed the guy by the feet and began pulling him toward the door. As John dragged the motionless body, small trickles of blood dotted the floor.
I was worried about her safety. I’d have one of the prospects keep tabs on her, watching for a bit to make sure he left her alone. Everyone loved Roxy. I knew I wouldn’t get any slack for looking out for her.
Roxy’s mom was an old lady. She rode on the back of Tiger’s bike back in the day. She’d had Roxy when she was twenty-one and didn’t give a fuck about her. Tiger died before Roxy was in elementary school, when he was out on a run doing club business. The problem was that only Tiger truly cared about their daughter. I wasn’t around when it happened—it had been over twenty years—but people still talked about Tiger in the clubhouse.
Roxy’s mom was a real piece of work. She tried hard to find a new victim to latch on to. The only thing she cared about was status. The prize she sought was becoming an old lady again, but there was a problem. Everyone knew she was a cunt. No one would claim her as his. She’d spent the last twenty years hopping from bed to bed and acting like a club whore, ignoring her daughter. She didn’t have the respect of any man who called the Sun Devils MC their brothers.
Roxy had been doomed from the beginning; this had been her destiny before she’d been able to dream. Her mother was absent in her life, preferring to open her legs rather than care for her only child. For what she’d lived through, having been raised by babysitters and the men of the MC, Roxy had turned out relatively well.
I’d never look down at her for taking her clothes off for a living. Everyone had to eat and survive. She hadn’t let the lifestyle become her. She owned her role, but unlike her mother, she wasn’t an easy fuck. She didn’t jump on any hard dick, looking for an angle.
I watched the fucker’s skull hit the doorjamb as John pulled him outside, the door closing as soon as his head cleared the entrance. A small smile of satisfaction spread across my face from knowing he’d feel that shit in the morning.
“Where’d he go?”
I turned to see Roxy looking around the room, searching for her stalker. “He’s been taken care of.” I held my hand out to her with a lopsided grin.
Her eyes grew wide as she reached for my hand, noticing the redness and swelling. “You didn’t.”
“He’s still breathing, Rox. Don’t worry. You tell me if you see him again, okay?” After bringing her hand toward my mouth, I placed a light kiss on her wrist.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes.” Her body swayed as I kissed her skin.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
She nodded, her eyes still sealed shut, keeping her hand clasped in mine.
Usually, we went to my place, staying close enough to the club that I could be there within a few minutes, but tonight, I wanted to be alone and away from prying eyes. Being with Roxy helped me relax, and with things heating up at the club, I needed to chill the fuck out before my damn head exploded.
“Angel, are you okay?” I asked as she settled in my lap and I wrapped an arm around her.
While I tangled one hand in her hair, we sat on her apartment patio, listening to the sound of the bugs chirping in the distance. The peace and tranquility in the country was a juxtaposition to my daily life.
Leaning her head against my shoulder, she pulled her legs into my lap. “I think so.” Her voice was quiet as she sagged into me.
“He won’t bother you anymore. I’ll keep someone on you for a little while to make sure he doesn’t come back.” I gripped her hair in my hand, forcing her eyes to meet mine.
“Thank you.” A small smile spread across her lips.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. The club has been busy with things.” It’s hard to be with someone when you are unable to share your life entirely with her.
That was the one thing I missed the most.
I felt like
no one knew me anymore.
“It’s been lonely, but I kept myself busy.” She stroked my chest through my shirt, sending tiny shock waves through my system.
The warmth of her touch and the coolness of the air sent a chill through my body.
“I’m sure you do.”
“What would I do without you, Blue?” Her tiny fingers traced my collarbone before making a path to my jaw, catching on each coarse hair in her wake.
Her words flooded me with guilt.
What would she do without me?
Roxy was my true north in this fucked-up life. She was the good in all the bad, fucked-up bullshit of MC life. I never spent much time thinking about what I was to her or how much I meant to her—not until recently, at least.
The days were drawing shorter; my time in this life would soon be ending. And then what? What would happen to her? My stomach twisted into knots as I took a deep breath and tried to push down the feelings of regret and responsibility from having allowed myself to get close to someone.
I’d vowed I wouldn’t let anyone into my life, but my need and craving for human companionship had overshadowed the promise I’d made to my work and myself.
“You’re tough, Rox. You don’t need me or any man to live.” I pulled her tighter against me, resting my cheek on the top of her head.
Closing my eyes, I tried to picture my life without ever seeing Roxy again. Pain bloomed across my chest, the dull ache more than I’d thought I’d ever feel for another person outside my family.
“I’m not. I like to pretend I’m one tough bitch, Blue. It’s all lies. I’m a survivor, nothing more. There’s a different type of living. Before you got here, I was wandering through each day like a zombie. Going through the motions to survive. Eat, work, and sleep. But when you first touched me…I felt alive for the first time in my life.” She snuggled her face into my neck, caressing my skin with her lips.
I could feel my pulse beat against her lips, keeping my voice soft as I said, “You do the same for me. You’re the only good in my life.” Sadness flooded me at the thought of walking away.
