by K. B. Draper
Roz had been an easy choice as a manager. She started her spiel with, “Starting now, we’re not getting you any more of those sissy-ass roles.” And never once during their conversation had she made ridiculous references to outlandish money, fancy cars, and only Oscar-winning parts, which had been all she heard from the industry’s leading agents who had lavishly wined and dined her for several months. Roz’s speech, which earned extra bonus points for being delivered on a park bench, had consisted of her expectations of Kanyon and ended with, “You work hard for me and I’ll fight to the death for you” before she slapped her contract down on the bench between them. “Any questions?”
“Nope, you had me at sissy-ass.” Kanyon laughed and they’d been together ever since.
But now that strong-minded and even stronger-mouthed agent was here along with her overly-involved and opinionated mother, and her yin/yang, life lesson-giving ... well, Dodge. She still didn’t know what their relationship was exactly, except for “ass-kicker” and “ass-kickee,” but they were all in her mother’s kitchen staring at her. Reality clicked in.
“Oh no, no, no, no. Is this some kind of intervention? No way. I’m not an alcoholic. Sure, I was partying a little too much for a bit, but that was just because–” Kanyon stopped, not wanting to explain what happened with Lexi at the moment or any future moment for that matter. “Well, just because. But I haven’t had a drink in more than a month so there’s really no need for this.” She began to backpedal.
“Kanyon, sweetheart,” her mother started, “this isn’t about your drinking, though you did go all temporary alkie on us. We know you don’t have a problem. Although,” she purred, “I have to say, a cute pool boy and a good martini never hurt anyone.” She glanced out the window to catch a glimpse of her latest twenty-something boy toy who was skimming the pool as she swirled the clear, olive-laden drink in her hand.
“Seriously Whor-tilda? This is supposed to be about your daughter and her …” Roz faded off as she followed Katherine’s eyes out to the pool. “Holy sweet Jesus! Okay, maybe that wouldn’t hurt anything. Well, except maybe your back and your hoochie muscles,” Roz said, admiring the nearly-naked pool boy.
Katherine raised an eyebrow and scoffed at Roz. “Whor-tilda? Ha, says the slutty pot to the much more sexy and beautiful kettle.”
Kanyon snapped her fingers. “Ahhh, hello? Can we get on with this little intervention so I can go wash my eyes and ears out with soap, please?”
“This isn’t an intervention!” the women said in unison and then turned quickly to glare at each other.
Dodge stood. “Will you two please try to refrain from your bickering? You’re like two fighting hens.”
“Hens!” Katherine scoffed then aimed the rest of her retort toward Roz, looking her up and down. “A peacock and a buzzard maybe.”
“I’ll show you buzzard when I pick every living piece of flesh off those decrepit bones of yours. That is, what’s not plastic or botox.”
“Botox, my ass!” Katherine protested loudly.
“You said it, not me!” Roz glanced at Katherine’s ass and smirked.
Dodge stepped between the two women who had now squared off. “Roz, over there now!” He instructed, pointing to the table he had just vacated. “Katherine, knock it off. We’re here about your daughter,” he said with a little too much venom in his voice. Katherine huffed her displeasure at him and turned away to take a seat at the table across from Roz.
“You know,” Kanyon piped up, “I’m really fine. It seems those two have the real issues. Maybe this should be an intervention for them. Tell me, Roz, where does this deep-rooted seed of anger for Katherine come fro–”
“Kanyon, silence!” Dodge interrupted, pointing a finger at her as a warning. He slowly spun, eyeing each one of them. With all three silent, he nodded in relief. “Better.” He turned back to Kanyon. “We’re not here about your drinking. You had your reasons and those reasons are your own. We also know you haven’t been drinking lately.”
Kanyon jumped in when he paused. “Great, then it’s settled. Thanks, everyone, for coming. I really apprec–” Kanyon stopped at Dodge’s glare.
“We’re here because of what you’re not doing.”
Kanyon pretended to ponder the statement. “I’ll tell you what, since I’ve never heard of an intervention for not doing anything, why don’t I just go out,” she hitched a thumb toward the door, “and get a real addiction? You know like … meth.” She turned to her mom. “I’ll grab one of your spoons real quick and go find me a trailer park chem lab.” She shook her head. “No, wait. I don’t like needles and I happen to like my teeth, so how about …” She tapped an index finger on her chin, searching for an addiction that wouldn’t involve wearing White Snake concert T-shirts with no sleeves. “I got it. I’ll start sniffing my brains out on Scratch ‘n’ Sniff stickers. I mean, that’d be really bad.” She made a scratching motion with her finger. “I’d wear off all my nails and then there’d be rage issues because you know they really never smell like what they’re supposed to and–” She stopped to gauge her audience’s reaction. They were all completely unimpressed. “It’ll be bad. I’ll probably end up needing bigger fixes like huffing flavored ChapStick.” At her mother’s raised eyebrow, long familiar with Kanyon’s distraction techniques, Kanyon sped up her appeal. “Alllrighty, so I’ll go ahead and get a start on this addiction thing, grab up some sticker books,” she hitched another thumb over her shoulder as she started retreating, “and start sniffing my brains out. Then we can all reconvene here, oh let’s say … next Thursday. Does that work for everyone? Heck, we can even make an afternoon of it.” She raised a hand in school room fashion. “I’ll bring deviled eggs. You ladies can bring the covered dishes. Dodge, you good with dessert?”
Katherine stood, stepping quickly to grab Kanyon’s arm. “Nice try. What Dodge was trying to say is you’ve just fallen off the face of the earth. Ever since The Dark Savior, you haven’t done anything. Well, except avoid the situation, avoid everyone, and bury your head in the sand.”
“That’s something, well technically three things, which I have to say, takes a considerable amount of effort.”
Katherine continued, “You haven’t gone out in public. You haven’t made any appearances. You haven’t made any statements.”
Roz picked up the conversation. “You didn’t let me fight to save your job. You wouldn’t let me hang that weasel-dick Arthur up by his perverted little toe nails. You haven’t let me threaten the tabloids with bodily harm.”
“This is not how I raised you, Kanyon McKane. You need to get back out there and get a nice role that shows your softer, sweeter side so your fans will see how beautiful and lovable you are.”
“Or, I can get you a kick-ass action flick where you can show everyone that no one screws with Kanyon McKane and lives to tell about it,” Roz interrupted.
Roz and Katherine went back and forth, both trying to out-advice the other. Since the two women had both moved to block her escape, Kanyon backed away to sit atop her mother’s elongated kitchen countertop and watch the exchange, happy for at least the moment that their focus was off her and back on each other.
As the women’s voices rose, Kanyon turned to Dodge. “See, I really think we could be focusing on their anger issues.”
“Katherine,” Dodge barked. “Your daughter!”
Katherine glared at Dodge before turning her focus on her daughter and her choice of seating. She exhaled a long-suffering sigh of a mother. “Kanyon, really? That’s not very lady like.”
“Take your pick, Mom, un-lady-like qualities or my non-addictions. You only get to butt in on one area of my life per day.”
While Katherine contemplated, Dodge moved to stand in front of Kanyon. “My warrior would never give up and walk away from such an important battle, especially without a fight.”
It wasn’t that she had given up, not exactly. She wasn’t drinking. She wasn’t going out. She was back to normal-ish, she
just wasn’t working and was actively avoiding people. And she wasn’t exactly walking away without a fight, she was simply sitting out a round or two. She’d go back to acting eventually. She just wasn’t eager to get back in the limelight and stir up the Lexi and Vance rumors and headlines again. She wanted more time for people to forget, for her to forget that ... “I’m not a warrior anymore,” she replied simply.
“You are whoever you want to be. You can become whoever you want to be.”
“What if I want to be a sticker-sniffing crackhead who bumps off third grade girls for their stash?”
“Kanyon,” Dodge replied softly which only made her drop her head.
“I’m just saying I’m not a warrior. I’m not strong enough. I don’t know what I–” Kanyon stopped, uncomfortable with her words. She’d never allowed herself to show, let alone confess, any kind of weakness.
Dodge put a knuckle under her chin, encouraging her to lift her head. His gentle blue eyes met her now tear-filled ones. “I know better and you know better. But you have to believe in your own strength because if you perceive yourself as weak, it’ll quickly become your reality. Look at this as an opportunity to find a new way, follow your heart.” He tapped his chest. “Seek your passion, find your happiness. Then, and only then will you find yourself and who you really are.”
Katherine pushed Dodge aside, taking his place in front of Kanyon. “Oh my God, Mu Shu Pork, where do you get all that philosophical, inspirational poster crap? Your wisdom of the day desk calendar?” She waved him away. “Go play with your feng shui or something.”
Facing Kanyon, Katherine took her daughter’s face in her hands. “Kanyon, you’re a McKane and you’re my daughter.” She threw a quick glare over her shoulder toward Dodge then Roz and looked back at Kanyon. “You cannot and will not let this little hiccup get the better of you. You’re strong and beautiful. I’m going to take you out and get you some new clothes which will make that good-for-nothing Vance regret he ever dumped you for that second-rate, dirty-legged bimbo.”
Kanyon was in mid-chuckle, “Dirty leg? Nice, Mom.”
“Then we’ll get your good-for-nothing agent to–”
Roz hip checked Katherine to take her turn in front of Kanyon. “The queen of the dirty legs is right for once. Screw that bimbo and screw Vance. He might have a pretty face but he’s dumber than a box of doorknobs and he’s a good for nothing–” She hesitated briefly and lowered her voice. “Well, maybe not nothing. He was easy on the eyes and was probably a good lay.”
“Yeah, not really that good,” Kanyon inserted into the silence.
“Right. I figured, but was just trying to give you an excuse for seeing that good-for-nothing, gutless, weasel-dicked–”
“What’s with all the weasel-dick comments today, Roz?” Kanyon smiled. “Arthur’s got a weasel-dick and now Vance’s got a weasel-dick. I mean it’s true and all, but–”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I haven’t gotten any in a while. Henry is being a weasel-dick and therefore every man has become a weasel-dick.”
Katherine scoffed. “Well, that explains why you’re such a tight-ass bitch. You’re dating ferrets. You know, I could probably help you out.”
“Is that an offer, Ms. Sex-buffet? I know that wasn’t an offer ‘cause if it was I’d tear your white-ass up!”
“No, it wasn’t an offer! I was going to toss you one of my leftovers in hopes they’d pull the stick out of your ass while they were down there! And just for the record, Ms. McSuper-size, it’d be me tearing your ass up. You could soooo not handle this.” Katherine waved her hands over the curves of her body.
“As fun as it is picturing the two of you sexually tearing each other’s asses up, please stop. I think we’ve established I already have more than enough issues to discuss in therapy,” Kanyon interjected.
Roz lowered and slowed the cadence of her voice. “I may not be able to handle all the diseases I’d catch from the experience, but I could so handle you.” Roz pointed her finger at Katherine.
“Only if I forgot to load my elephant gun,” Katherine retorted, matching Roz’s lowered tone.
“Mom! Roz! Seriously!” Kanyon yelled.
Kanyon finally escaped her mother’s house, fortunately without the added task of having to bury any dismembered bodies. However, digging a hole seemed like a better alternative to what she had ultimately agreed to after an hour of guilt-ridden threats. Though Roz and Dodge both gave her some good verbal lashings and a few veiled threats, it had finally been her mother who laid out the most persuasive ultimatum. After giving some motherly and some not-so motherly advice, Katherine realized Kanyon was not going to be easily swayed back into the public eye, so she did what every good mother would do, she resorted to good old-fashioned blackmail. Frustrated with Kanyon’s willingness to just roll over and play dead, Katherine finally threatened the one thing she knew would force Kanyon into action. “Kanyon, if you don’t get out and face what you’ve done, show a little dignity, and turn this little situation around, then I’ll release a sex tape and show you what real embarrassment is like.”
Remembering the pool boy and the fact she had seen her mom’s camcorder charging on the kitchen counter when she first walked in, Kanyon finally buckled and turned to Roz. “Book me something!”
Roz wanted Kanyon’s first appearance to be on a late-night talk show so Kanyon could laugh and make fun of herself, but still set the record straight. Katherine, on the other hand, wanted Kanyon to attend a movie premiere or a red-carpet event where she could look fabulous and smile real big to show the cameras and the world she was still beautiful and therefore couldn’t be a drunken, abusive, out-of-control diva. Kanyon however, despite both women’s argument otherwise, would only agree to do a one-hour appearance and then a brief signing session at an upcoming Comic-Con.
Kanyon told them she wanted to start off with something more low-key, somewhere there was less chance the paparazzi would attack her. This was true, but what she didn’t add was that she wanted to avoid Lexi and Vance, who were making the rounds at all the to-be-seen events. Plus, given the choice, she actually preferred Comic-Cons to red-carpet appearances. Besides getting a small amount of amusement from the attendees, it was a more casual setting. There wasn’t the expectation of glitz and glamour. There was no pressure about what designer dress she was wearing, nor the ridiculous amount of time and effort which went into the makeup, the hair, and the big who-to-be-seen-with dilemma. There also wasn’t the added stress of making sure you were always smiling and that your boobs were still in your dress. So, given the choice, she’d take jeans, a full boob covering shirt, and casual conversations with the not-so down to earth people of a Comic-Con any day. At least the people there, or the majority of them, are interested in The Dark Savior: the TV hero, not Kanyon: the failure.
She was thankful that, despite her actions, the writers had done right by Artemisia. They rewrote the script so the last battle with Larticass played out as a trap where all her foes came together to end her once and for all. She and Freya, despite the odds, had been victorious in ending the reign of terror that plagued their homelands. Unfortunately, not before a bar maiden had poisoned her food under threat of a warlord who had kidnapped her children. In epic hero actions, Artemisia had chosen to save her murderer’s children versus seeking medical treatment to save her own life.
If only, like Artemisia, she had chosen the well-being of others over her own selfish needs, she wouldn’t be in this situation. Kanyon sighed heavily as she opened her car door. So, she was going to have to go back to acting sooner than she’d hoped, at least this act was only going to last an hour. There were worse things, she guessed, like having your mother release a sex tape.
Chapter 4
Kanyon thought she had chosen the least of all evils for her first public appearance but now she realized she had failed to consider one small thing; one small, blonde-haired thing. Her heart dropped when she spotted Daylen across the staging area a
nd an enormous wave of guilt washed over her. As if Kanyon needed to be any more uneasy about things today, now she was going to have to face Daylen. She should’ve known she’d be here. Daylen had always been loyal and gracious to their fans. She happily accepted invitations where she could show her appreciation. She watched as Daylen moved through the crowd. She noticed she had let her hair grow out a little. Where Freya’s hair had always been a mousey brown, Daylen had golden highlights accentuating her natural blonde hair.
Kanyon’s guilt grew as she watched Daylen smile at a woman who approached her with an outstretched pen and piece of paper. Roz had informed Kanyon that Freya was written off the show shortly after the Dark Savior’s death. The writers had only given Freya two episodes to mourn for her Queen before they sent her over a cliff in grief. Kanyon assumed the writers thought it was a poetic end for Freya, being it mimicked the ruse Artemisia and Freya used to escape from the title of Queen and servant, freeing them to fight for the greater good.
The woman walked away with a smile and Daylen spun slightly to meet Kanyon’s gaze. Kanyon turned away quickly, the guilt too much for her to face. She not only caused Daylen to lose her job, she hadn’t even reached out to apologize. She meant to call, but for the first few days she’d stayed in a drunken stupor. Then there had been the Lexi thing and that drunken stupor. Then there was the Vance thing and another drunken stupor. Then well, there was the whole completely dropping off the face of the earth as she tried to pull her head out of her butt thing. Kanyon sighed heavily, maybe it’s not too late to escape and avoid the situation all together. How bad could a sex tape of my mother really be? She had a flash of herself when she was about six years old, innocently hitting the play button thinking her Beetlejuice tape was still in the VCR. She shuttered. Okay, it can be bad, very, very bad.
