I checked myself right there.
Dawson stood, made his way around the coffee table, and sat beside me. “Ethan pissed him off. He wanted to know that Daemon’s relationship with you wouldn’t interfere with his loyalties to his kind.” Dawson leaned forward, rubbing his palms over his bent knees. “And, well, you can imagine Daemon’s response.”
I wasn’t so sure that I could. “What did he say?”
Dawson laughed, eyes squinting like Daemon’s did. “Let’s just say Daemon explained that who he was with didn’t affect his loyalties, but he used different words.”
I grinned a little. “Bad words?”
“Very bad words,” he said, glancing at me. “They didn’t expect this from him. No one did. Me? Yeah, well, they never expected much from me. Mainly because I didn’t care what they thought—not that Daemon does, but…”
“I know. He’s always been the one to take care of everything, right? Not the one to cause problems like this.”
He nodded. “They don’t know what you are, but I doubt Ethan’s going to let this drop.”
“They’ll outcast him?” When he nodded, I shook my head. If a Luxen was outcasted, he wasn’t allowed in or near Luxen communities, which meant he couldn’t be near the protective cluster of beta quartz. He’d be virtually on his own against the Arum. “What is Ethan? I get he’s an Elder, but so what?”
Dawson’s brows pinched. “Elders are like the mayors and presidents of our communities. Ethan is our president.”
My brows rose. “Sounds important.”
“All those who live in the colony will listen to him. Those who don’t risk the same social fallout.” He leaned back, closing his eyes. “Even those who mingle with humans, like the ones who work outside the colony and whatever, are afraid of ticking off the Elders. None of us can just leave without the DOD’s permission, but damn, if they wanted us out, they’d find a way to do so.”
“Did they do that to you because of Beth?”
His face tensed. “They would’ve, but there hadn’t been enough time. Not enough time for anything.”
Pain sliced my chest and I placed my hand on his arm. “We’re going to get Beth back.”
A small smile appeared. “I know. This Sunday… Everything comes down to this Sunday.”
My stomach did a topsy-turvy thing, and my pulse picked up. “What was it like in there?”
His eyes opened into thin slits. Several moments passed before he answered. “At first, it wasn’t too bad. They let Beth and me see each other. They told us they were keeping us for our safety. You know, the whole ‘if people find out what I did to Beth, it would get bad and we needed to be protected’ bit. Daedalus was on our side. It really seemed that way for a while. I…I almost believed we’d walk out of it together.”
It was the first time I heard him say Daedalus. The word sounded strange on his lips.
“Believing in that led to nothing but misery and eventually madness when the hope faded.” His lips tipped up at the corners. “Daedalus wanted me to recreate what I had with Beth. They wanted me to create more like her. To help better mankind and all that BS, and when it didn’t work, things…things changed.”
I shifted. “How did they change?”
The line of his jaw tightened. “At first, they wouldn’t let me see Beth—my punishment for failing when it seemed all too easy to them. They didn’t get I didn’t know how I healed and changed her. They’d bring these dying humans to me and I tried, Katy, I really tried. They just died no matter what I did.”
Nausea welled up inside me, and I wished I knew what to say, but it seemed like this was one of those moments when saying nothing meant everything.
“Then they started bringing in healthy humans and doing things to them—hurting them—and I healed them. Some…some of them got better. At least they did for a little while, and it was like whatever wounds were inflicted on them came back with a vengeance. Others…others destabilized.”
“Destabilized?”
Dawson’s hands opened and closed on his thighs. “They’d develop some of our abilities, but something…something went wrong. This one girl—she wasn’t much older than us and she was nice, very nice. They gave her some kind of pill and she was dying. I healed her. I really wanted to heal her, because she was so scared.” Emerald eyes met mine. “And we thought it worked. She got sick like Beth was when they first brought us in. And then she could move just as fast as us. About a day after the sickness faded, she ran into a wall.”
I frowned. “How is that so bad?”
His gaze slipped away. “We can move faster than bullets, Katy. She crashed into the wall. It was like hitting it at supersonic speed.”
“Oh my God…”
“And it was like she couldn’t stop herself. Sometimes I wonder if she did it on purpose. There were many, many more after her. Humans who died with my hands on them. Humans who died after I healed them. Humans who lived with no mutations but were never seen again.” He looked down. “There’s so much blood on my hands.”
“No.” I shook my head vigorously. “None of that was your fault.”
“It wasn’t?” Anger deepened his voice. “I have this ability to heal, but I couldn’t get it right.”
“But you had to want to heal them—like on a cellular level. You were being forced to do it.”
“It doesn’t change that so many people died.” He sat forward again, antsy. “There was a period of time that I believed I deserved what they were doing to me, but never…never to Beth. She didn’t deserve that.”
“You didn’t either, Dawson.”
He stared at me a moment, then looked away. “They withheld Beth, then food, then water, and when that still didn’t work, they got creative.” He let out a long breath. “I guess they did the same to Beth, but I really didn’t know. All I saw was what they did in front of me.”
My stomach sank to the couch cushion. I had a really bad feeling about this.
“They’d hurt her just so I could heal her, and they could study the process.” Dawson’s jaw worked. “Each time I felt the worst kind of fear. What if it didn’t work? What if I failed Beth? I’d…” He moved his neck, as if working out a kink.
He’d never be the same. Tears climbed up my throat again. I wanted to cry for him, for Beth, but most of all, for the people they once were but never would be again.
Chapter 19
After that, Dawson shut down. He talked about anything—weather, football, the Smurfs—but nothing about Daedalus or what they did to him and Beth. Part of me was grateful. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle knowing, as selfish as that sounded.
But the bad part was that once we stopped talking about serious stuff, my brain ran right back to where Daemon was and what he was doing. When it neared midnight and he still hadn’t come home, I couldn’t sit there any longer.
I couldn’t sit anywhere.
Saying good night, I made the quick and chilly trek across the lawn. The first thing I did was check my cell. There was a text waiting and my heart stuttered.
Srry abt tnght. Tlk tmrw.
It had come in about an hour ago. Meaning he was still with Ash—er, Andrew, Dee, and Ash.
I glanced at the clock, like that would somehow change the time. My heart was pounding in my chest, as though I’d run from next door. Looking down at my cell, I fought the urge to throw it against the wall. I knew I was being ridiculous. Daemon was friends with them, including Ash. He could hang out with them without me. And with the fallout between Dee and me, he hadn’t been spending a lot of time with her.
Ridiculous or not, my feelings were hurt. And I hated that—hated that something as stupid as this would upset me.
Taking my phone upstairs, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and changed into my jammies, still debating on texting him back. I wanted the willpower not to, kind of like my in your face, but damn if that wasn’t stupid considering everything that was going on.
On the flip side, I wa
s butt sore about this. So I placed the cell on my stand and I climbed under the covers, pulling them to my chin. I stayed that way, beating myself up for not texting him back, for going out with Blake the first time, for kissing him, and for lying awake beating myself up. Finally, my brain had enough and it closed shop for the night.
Sometime later, I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or not. I was in that hazy stage where reality mixed with the subconscious. Part of it was a dream, I knew that much, because I could see Daemon in this building. I’d catch sight of his dark hair and then he drifted away. He was in one room and before I could get to him, he went to another. It was an endless maze and he kept moving around, never responding to me as I yelled his name.
Frustration swelled inside me and my chest ached. Chasing him, never reaching him in time, losing him… It wouldn’t end.
And then the bed shifted and the building faded, evaporated into wisps of smoke and darkness. A heavy weight settled beside me. A hand brushed the hair back from my face, and I think I smiled, because he was here and that soothed me. I slipped back into deep sleep, where I wasn’t chasing Daemon in my dreams.
…
When morning came, I rolled over, expecting to find Daemon. Mom worked until late morning on Saturdays and Daemon had taken to staying as long as he could, but my bed was empty.
Smoothing my hand along the extra pillow, I inhaled, expecting the outdoorsy clean scent that was uniquely his, but all I smelled was a faint trace of citrus. Had I dreamt Daemon’s presence?
Geez, I was so lame if so.
Frowning, I sat up and grabbed my cell. There was a missed text that had come in around two in the morning from Daemon.
Bacon & eggs 4 breakfast. Cme over when u wake.
“Two in the morning?” I stared at the phone. Had he been out with them till then?
My heart was racing again and I flopped onto my back, groaning. Apparently I was lame and Daemon had a really late night but not with me.
Dragging myself out of bed, I showered and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Numbness had settled over me as I dried my hair halfway and twisted it up into a messy bun. I headed next door and found that the door was locked.
I placed my hand on the handle and waited until I heard the locks turning over. As I opened the door, unease blossomed. It was way too easy to get in and out of people’s houses, including mine.
Shaking my head, I eased the door shut and took a deep breath. The house was tomb silent. Everyone was still asleep. I went upstairs, careful of the two steps at the top that creaked. Dawson’s and Dee’s bedroom doors were shut, but I could hear the soft hum of music coming from Daemon’s.
I cracked open Daemon’s bedroom door and slipped through. My gaze went straight to the bed and I couldn’t have stopped the flutter in my chest if I wanted to.
Daemon was sprawled on his back, one arm stretched across the space beside him and the other rested across his bare stomach. Sheets were twisted around his narrow hips. His face was almost angelic in sleep, chiseled lines softened and lips relaxed. Thick lashes fanned the top of his cheeks.
He looked so much younger at rest but, in a weird way, he was even more out of my league. His kind of masculine beauty was otherworldly and intimidating. Something that existed in between the pages of the books I read.
Sometimes I had a hard time convincing myself he was real.
I tiptoed over to him and sat on the edge of the bed, unable to pull my eyes away. I didn’t want to wake him. So I sat there like a total creeper, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. I wondered if I had dreamt him last night or if he had stopped in to check on me. The fluttering was back and I could almost forget the punch of anxiety of last night. Almost but not—
Daemon rolled suddenly, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me down beside him. He kept moving, burying his face in my neck. “Good morning,” he murmured.
A smile swept across my face as I placed a hand on his shoulder. His skin was hot. “Morning.”
He threw a leg over mine and snuggled closer. “Where’s my bacon and eggs?”
“I thought you were offering to make them.”
“You mistook what I said. Get to the kitchen, woman.”
“Whatever.” I rolled onto my side, facing him. He lifted his head, kissed my nose, and then buried his face in the pillow. I laughed.
“It’s too early,” he grumbled.
“It’s almost ten o’clock.”
“Too early.”
A stone settled in my stomach. I bit down on my lip, unsure of what I should say.
He lazily dropped an arm over my hip and turned his head so I could see his face. “You didn’t respond last night.”
So we were going to go there. “I fell asleep and I…figured you were busy.”
A brow arched. “I wasn’t busy.”
“I stopped over last night to see you, and I waited for a little while.” I fiddled with the edge of the sheet, twisting it around my fingers. “You stayed out late.”
One eye opened. “So you did get my text and had time to respond.”
I’d walked right into that one.
Daemon sighed. “Why did you ignore me, Kitten? My feelings are hurt.”
“I’m sure Ash soothed them for you.” The moment those words left my mouth, I wanted to smack myself.
Both eyes were open now, and then he did something that surprised and ticked me off: he smiled that really big one. “You’re jealous.”
To me, the way he said it made it sound like a good thing. I started to sit up, but his arm kept me down. “I’m not jealous.”
“Kitten…”
I rolled my eyes and then a bad, bad case of verbal diarrhea occurred. “I was worried about the Elder being here, and we were supposed to talk last night. You never showed up. Instead you went out with Andrew, Dee, and Ash. Ash, as in the ex-girlfriend Ash, and how do I find out? Your brother. And how did those seating arrangements work out? Did Dee and Andrew sit on one side and you and Ash on the other? I bet that was real comfy.”
“Kitten…”
“Don’t Kitten me.” I scowled, on a roll now. “You left around five or so and didn’t get back till when? Past two in the morning? What were you guys doing? And get that stupid smile off your face. This isn’t funny.”
Daemon tried to get rid of the smile but failed. “I love when your claws come out.”
“Oh, shut up.” Disgusted, I pushed at his arm. “Let me go. You can call up Ash and see if she’ll make you some eggs and bacon. I’m out of here.”
Instead of letting me go, he shifted atop me, holding himself up with his hands planted on either side of my shoulders. Now he was grinning—that infuriating, cocky grin of his. “I just want to hear you say it: I’m jealous.”
“I already said it, butt-face. I’m jealous. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He cocked his head to the side. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I never wanted Ash, and I wanted you from the first moment I saw you—and before you get started, I know I had a bad way of showing it, but you know I wanted you. Only you. You’re insane to be jealous.”
“I am?” I fought back angry tears. “You guys were together.”
“Were together.”
“She probably still wants you.”
“I don’t want her, so it doesn’t matter.”
It mattered to me. “She’s model beautiful.”
“And you’re more beautiful.”
“Don’t try to sweet-talk me.”
“I’m not,” he said.
Staring over his shoulder, I bit my lip. “You know, at first I thought I kind of deserved last night. Now I know how you felt when I went out with Blake. Like karma was schooling me, but it’s not the same. You and I weren’t together then and Blake and I didn’t have that kind of history.”
He took a deep breath. “You’re right; it’s not the same thing. I didn’t go out with Ash on a date. Andrew stopped by and we got to talking about Ethan. Andrew was hungry
, so we decided to get something to eat. Dee tagged along and Ash was there, because you know, she’s his sister.”
I gave a lopsided shrug. Okay, he had a point.
“And we didn’t go out to eat. We ended up ordering pizza, went back to Andrew’s house, and we talked about Sunday. Ash is scared to death that she’s going to lose Andrew, too. Dee still wants to murder Blake. I spent hours talking them through this. It wasn’t a party you weren’t invited to.”
But I wasn’t invited at all, I wanted to say, but I knew that was stupid. “Why didn’t you tell me, at least? You could’ve said something. Then my imagination wouldn’t have run circles around me.”
He stared at me a moment, then pushed up, sitting beside me. “I meant to stop by when I got home, but it was late.”
So last night was a dream. Lameness officially confirmed.
“Look, I didn’t think about it.”
“Apparently,” I muttered.
Daemon rubbed the spot above his heart. “I honestly didn’t think you’d get this upset. I figured you’d know better.”
I was still flat on my back, too weary to move. “Know better?”
“Yeah, that you’d know if Ash pranced naked into my bedroom right now, I’d still send her packing. That you didn’t have anything to worry about.”
“Thanks for that image you implanted into my brain forever.”
He shook his head, huffing out a dry laugh. “This insecurity thing ticks me off, Kat.”
My mouth dropped open and I flew up, coming to rest on my knees. “Excuse me? Are you the only one who’s allowed to be insecure?”
“What?” He smirked. “Why would I be insecure?”
“Good question, but what do you call your little episode with Blake yesterday in the hallway? And that stupid question about me wanting to help Blake?”
He snapped his mouth shut.
“Ha! Exactly. It’s even more ridiculous for you to be insecure. Let me spell it out for you.” When my anger rose, the Source did, too. It skated over my skin. “I loathe Blake. He used me and was ready to turn me over to Daedalus. He killed Adam. There’s only a teeny tiny bit of me that can actually tolerate him. How can you even be any bit jealous of him?”
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