by Karen Cimms
I stood so quickly the chair toppled over. “Chase!”
Mrs. Holgate stood as well. “Don’t be a fool.”
Chase appeared in the doorway holding Izzy. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry. Can we go? I’m not feeling well.”
“Yeah, sure.” He set Izzy down and picked up the chair. “Can you go get the coats, sweetheart?”
“Are you okay, Mommy?”
“I am, sweetie. I’m really tired, and something has upset my tummy.”
Chase put his hand on my arm and tried to lead me to sit down, but I shook him off. “Really, I just want to get home.” I turned to his mother. “Thank you again for the gifts and dinner.” It was all I could get out, and more than she deserved.
I met Izzy in the front hall, where she was holding up my leopard-print jacket—something a woman with no substance would wear. All flash. I bit back tears and was slipping it on when Mrs. Holgate emerged from the kitchen carrying a container of leftovers for Chase and a jar of homemade grape jelly for me and Izzy.
She leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I stiffened. “Remember what I said,” she whispered. “Leave, or you’ll be the one who gets hurt this time.”
My legs threatened to give out. Even the attack I’d suffered from Preston’s fiancée hadn’t thrown me like this. In her way, Suzanne had every reason to hate me. I’d have hated me too if the shoe had been on the other foot. But this? This made no sense. The woman was either psychotic, or Chase’s sister-in-law had really poisoned his mother against me.
Chase gave his mother a tight hug. “Thanks again for everything, Mom. I’m sorry we have to leave so abruptly, but we had a great time, right, Rain?”
My nod was met with another smirk over his shoulder.
“I hope you feel better, dear. Call me when you get home. You know I worry.”
The ride home was quiet. Izzy fell asleep, and I pretended to. I couldn’t talk to Chase about what had happened, not in the car, but I would as soon as we got home. His mother had no right to say the things she’d said to me, and I’d be a fool to tolerate it.
Before I could stop it, I burped. The damn grape jelly was burning a hole in my stomach.
“Excuse me.” I shifted, trying to get comfortable.
“You all right?”
I glanced at Izzy, who was out like a light.
“I’ll be fine. I need some Tums or something.”
“I hope that’s all it is.”
“Yeah, me too. Look, Chase—”
“I gotta tell you, babe, I don’t think I could be happier right now.” He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his lips. “You making the effort with my mom. It means the world to me. I don’t have much family left, just her and my brother, who’s being a dick right now. But we’ll work that shit out. Today was more than I could’ve hoped for. You and Izzy and my mom, you’re the people I love most in this world, and to have you at odds—to be honest, that was kinda killing me.”
I watched his face as he watched the road. He stole a quick glance, and when he saw me staring, he smiled. Scratch that. He was beaming. Fuck.
“If I haven’t said it yet today, I’ll say it now. I fucking love you, Rain. You have no idea how happy you’ve made me.”
Right. “I love you too, babe.”
And I did. So much. Which meant I would do everything I could to keep making him happy.
Chapter Forty-Four
I unzipped my boot, slipped my foot into the sparkly silver flats, and frowned.
“What’s wrong with those?” Diane asked. “They’re cute.”
I took a few steps and stopped in front of an endcap mirror at the local Payless. I turned from side to side. “They’re so . . . flat.”
“And pretty soon, you’ll be too pregnant to gallop around wearing those stilts you call shoes. There has to be something here you like.” She scoured the rack of size sevens, stopping at a pair of leopard-print ballet flats. “These are cute.”
I held up a pair of gray faux suede peep-toe pumps with a one-inch platform. “Yeah, but these are cuter. And with the platform, the three-inch heel is probably only barely two inches.”
She marched over and tugged the shoe out of my hand. “I know these are considered sensible shoes in Rainworld, but the rest of us would feel better if you stayed closer to earth for the duration of your pregnancy.” She slipped the little suede cutie back onto the shelf next to its mate and handed me the leopard-print flats.
I dropped grudgingly onto the bench and slipped on the flats. At least the pattern was something I was comfortable with. “These are fine.”
I boxed them up, grabbed the boring black ones as well, and headed to the register.
“It’s not a death sentence, Rain. It’s only another five months. After the baby comes, you can wear whatever you want.”
I handed my credit card to the clerk. “I know. Do you mind if we run over to Macy’s? Might as well pick up some mom jeans while we’re out.”
“Sounds good. Want me to carry that for you?” She pointed to my bag.
“I’m pregnant, not infirm.”
“You’re cranky is what you are.”
I blew out a sharp breath. I was cranky, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. When Chase proved to be so happy about his mother and me getting along, I didn’t have the heart to tell him what she’d said to me in the kitchen when we were alone. I was afraid it would sound like I was trying to make trouble where there was none. Other than her short outburst when he told her I was pregnant, she’d recovered nicely and gone out of her way to be gracious to both Izzy and me.
Until we were alone, of course.
I didn’t want to tell my mother or Diane either. They would have gone all vigilante justice on her, which was the last thing I needed. Instead, the entire conversation continued to gnaw at me like a worm in a bad apple. For Chase, I would swallow her insults and do whatever I could to change her mind about me. Let her see that I loved him and that he loved me, that I wasn’t some slutty homewrecker. It was a long shot, but as long as he was under the impression that things were good, it was the best I could do.
That and to make sure I was never alone with her again, in case she really was psychotic.
Diane wrapped an arm around my waist. “How about after you get your stretchy pants, I take you for some ice cream?”
I laugh. “I’d prefer a margarita.”
“Oh, we’ll get one of those too, but I’ll be the one drinking it. And on the way home, I’m stopping at the liquor store for two big bottles of tequila, one for me and one for Chase. We have five more months of cranky Rain, and neither of us should have to deal with that sober.”
I rammed my shoulder into hers. “Funny.”
“I try.”
Chapter Forty-Five
“What do you mean, no?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean?” Rain stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. “It means I won’t marry you.”
“I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you. That doesn’t mean I’ll marry you. Besides, you’re only asking because I’m pregnant.”
“So what difference does that make? I love you. You love me. It’s the logical next step. I don’t see the problem here.”
“I do.”
I followed her from the bedroom into the kitchen.
“What?”
She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out the orange juice, frowned at it, then set it on the counter. “What, what?”
She was trying to drive me crazy. “You know what, what. What’s the problem? We love each other. We’re having a baby. I love Izzy too, but you already know that.”
She reached for her vitamins, took one, then followed it with the OJ. I waited somewhat patiently while she rinsed the glass and set it in the dishwasher. “I do know that, and we both love you, but I’m still not going to marry you.”
She snatched a banana from a basket on the table, peeling it as she walked out
of the kitchen with me hot on her heels.
“Iz,” she called, nearly plowing into Izzy as she turned the corner. “There you are. Are you ready to go?”
Izzy planted her hands on her hips and glared up at her mother. “Why won’t you marry my daddy?”
Rain was suddenly at a loss for words, even the single-syllable ones she’d been lobbing at me. Her eyes sought mine, begging for help.
I folded my arms across my chest. “I got nothing.”
“Thanks a lot,” she muttered, handing me her banana.
She dropped to her knees and put her hands on Izzy’s shoulders. “Sweetie, listen to me. I love Chase very, very much, and I don’t need to marry him to prove it. We can still be a family. A piece of paper doesn’t change that.”
I groaned. Like a six-year-old could follow that bullshit piece of paper line.
Izzy stamped her foot. “But you said he could be my daddy.” She swiveled toward me. “And you proposed, just like Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora.” Her bottom lip popped out and her eyes filled with tears.
Fuck me.
I got on my knees beside Rain. “Iz, that doesn’t change. I’m still going to be your daddy. Just because Mommy and I don’t get married right away doesn’t mean we won’t get married someday. In the meantime, like she said, we’re a family.” Her sweet little face was breaking my heart. I tucked my finger under her chin and tipped her face up until our eyes met. “I promise you that no matter what, you will always be my daughter and I will always be your daddy, for as long as I live. Nothing will ever change that, okay?”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her warm, wet cheek against my neck. I stood, holding her in my arms. “C’mon. I’ll carry you out to the car and get you in your car seat, okay?”
Rain followed and waited until I’d finished buckling Izzy into her car seat.
“Am I meeting you at the Realtor’s, or are you picking me up here?”
“Shit. I almost forgot. What time again?”
“We’re supposed to be there at five.”
“How about I call you later? If I can get out early enough, I’d like to grab a shower first.”
“Okay.” She tilted her head up, waiting for me to kiss her goodbye.
I did, but I captured her shoulders in my hands and held her in front of me.
“I meant what I said to Izzy in there. No matter what happens between us, I will be her father. I don’t make promises I won’t keep. And the same goes for loving you. I want to spend my life with you. That’s also a promise I intend to keep.”
She had already slipped on her sunglasses, so I couldn’t see her eyes, but her lip quivered in a way that made me think she was about to cry. But all she did was nod. “I know, Chase. I believe you.”
Chapter Forty-Six
“Are you sure?” Chase asked, standing in the doorway and looking out over the back yard.
“I am. This is the one. I can feel it. This is our house.”
“It’s not very big.”
We’d looked at more houses than I could count, and I had begun to wonder if we’d end up staying in his apartment indefinitely. Some were too stark and modern. Others were too old, too expensive, too far from work.
But this house was perfect.
It wasn’t big, just a dated ranch at the end of a dead-end street, but it had a big kitchen, a decent-sized living room, and three bedrooms. There was only one bathroom, and it didn’t have a big tub, but the room was big enough that we could add one eventually. The back yard was fenced in, and it was a good size for kids to run around and play. It had a garage, which Chase had insisted on for my car and his bike.
“I love it, I really do,” I said. “It needs some upgrades, but we can do that as we can afford it. There’s even enough room if we want to add on someday, but honestly, I think it’s perfect.”
“What about the color?” he asked, wrinkling his nose.
“I’m not a fan of that harvest gold from the seventies, but we could paint it. Maybe blue or gray, with white trim and black shutters. And a red door.”
He nodded. “I could see that. And where the patio is, I’d like to build you a sunroom with a glass ceiling, so you can have lots of plants and grow your herbs and things—but mostly so you can look up at the stars and talk to your dad all year round, just like you were doing the night I first kissed you.”
I slipped my arms around his waist and lost myself in his eyes. “If I wasn’t already falling in love with this house, that would have done it for me right there.” I kissed him. “And if I hadn’t already fallen in love with you, you would have swept me off my feet with that line. In fact, I might just swoon anyway.” The intensity of his stare and that sexy half-grin wasn’t helping me remain upright.
“Go ahead, I’ll catch you.”
He tucked a finger under my chin. “If we buy this house, will you promise to live here with me forever?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’ll live here as long as you want me to.”
“I want you forever. You know that. I want to marry you.”
I closed my eyes and struggled to remain grounded. My emotions were getting the better of me with the pregnancy, and having found our perfect house already had me close to tears. I wasn’t sure if I could deal with this as well.
“Don’t tell me it’s too soon,” he said. “It’s been six months. We’re buying a house. We’re having a child together. Isn’t that already a huge commitment?”
“It is. But marriage is different. I’m not ready, Chase. Not yet.”
He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, just as the Realtor came looking for us.
“Well, what do you think? Could this be your house?” she said.
Chase opened his eyes, and despite how happy we’d been just a minute earlier, there was a flash of sadness, maybe even disappointment, before he smiled again.
“Rain?”
I gave his hand a squeeze. “Yes. This is our house.”
Chase was stretched out on the sofa in his apartment watching a movie while I sat on the floor trying to figure out how to paint my toenails. I grabbed hold of my foot and tried to pull it closer, but my belly kept getting in the way. I inched closer to the cabinet holding the television, propped my foot on the shelf, and bent as far as I could. My arms were about four inches too short. I lay on my back, spread my legs as wide as I could, bent my knee, and pulled my foot closer. I was able to paint my big toe, but in trying to get to the rest of them, I smeared nail polish all over my hand and my foot.
“Damn it!”
“Want me to do that for you?”
I rolled onto my side. “You know how to paint nails?”
“No, but it’ll be easier for me than for you. You look like a contortionist. Not that I mind that in a woman, but I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself. Or get nail polish all over the carpet.”
“Okay. But you’re going to have to help me up. I don’t think I can do it by myself.”
He pushed himself up from the sofa. “Way ahead of you, sweetheart.”
After he removed the nail polish I’d smeared all over my foot, he sat on the coffee table with my foot in his lap and proceeded to paint my toenails my favorite Victoria’s Secret pink. He was slow and methodical, and when he finished, there wasn’t a smudge or a stray dab of pink to be seen.
I held up each foot, one at a time, because holding up both at once was no longer possible. “Nice job. If you decide you don’t want to work with your brother any longer, you might be able to get a job at a nail salon.”
“I might just do that.” He sat alongside me and pulled my feet onto his lap. As if he weren’t already the best boyfriend ever, he start massaging the soles of my feet. I moaned loudly, and he gave me a devilish smirk. “Do that again, and I’m carrying you off to bed.”
“I can’t help it, that feels so good. Damn.”
I was practically mush by the time he was done. I wished I could spend the rest of my pregna
ncy on the couch with my feet in his lap.
He rubbed a hand gently up and down my shin. “Can I ask you something?”
I sighed loudly. “Fine, I’ll rub your feet now.”
He laughed. “Not what I was going to ask, but if you really want to, I suppose I can let you.”
“I’d do anything for you.”
He quirked an eyebrow at me. I waited while his eyes returned to the movie he’d been watching, and he kept rubbing my leg. When he did speak, he kept staring at the television.
“If I’d proposed to you the right way, on my knee with candles and all the romance you deserved, would you have said yes?”
I pulled myself into a sitting position and shimmied toward him until I could climb into his lap and straddle him. I gently tugged free the elastic holding his ponytail and ran my fingers through his hair. I held his head, resting my thumbs on either side of his face, tilting it until I could look deep into his beautiful blue-green eyes.
“It wouldn’t have mattered. It’s just too soon. When the time is right, it won’t make a difference how you ask. The answer will be yes.”
He lifted me off his lap and set me beside him, then rose and flicked off the television. “Good to know. That would’ve been pretty damn embarrassing if I’d been stupid enough to have asked you in public. I’m going to bed. I have to get up early.”
I lay back on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling while he got ready for bed. When he finished in the bathroom, Izzy’s door opened and her bed creaked. I pictured him sitting beside her, smoothing her curls, listening to her breathe. Soon he would lean forward, kiss her forehead, and then get up quietly, leaving her door open just a crack in case she cried out for us during the night.
It had been seven months, and I was more in love with Chase than ever. I tried to show him every day, in every way I could think of, but I couldn’t marry him. Not because I didn’t believe he loved me, because I did, and I knew I was hurting him every time I said no.
