Miss February

by Karen Cimms

  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Desperately. But not if it meant hurting him in the end. Chase was loyal and steadfast when it came to me. I was afraid if things didn’t improve with his family and how they treated me—for real, not just when he was watching—he might turn away from them. Permanently.

  I couldn’t do that to him. Or to them.

  But I did have an idea. We were moving into our new house in two weeks. After we got settled, we’d throw a housewarming party. We would invite all of our friends and our families. This way, it wouldn’t be awkward for any of us, and I wouldn’t have to find myself alone with Lorraine or Mrs. Holgate. It might be a way to break the ice; let them see we were happy and that we wanted to include them in our lives.

  Then, once things evened out with his family, I would be free to say yes.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  I stood in front of the full-length mirror Chase had installed on the closet door in our new bedroom and stared at my silhouette, one hand on top of my belly, the other pressing my dress tight against my body below my belly.

  “I look like I swallowed a basketball.”

  Chase came up behind me and took in my reflection. “A little, maybe, but it’s cute.”

  “Cute?” I pivoted so that I faced front. You could hardly tell I was pregnant if I came at you straight on. I did a one-eighty and strained to look over my shoulder. “How about my butt?”

  Chase grabbed a cheek in either hand. “Perfect.”

  “Yeah, but is it bigger?”

  He squeezed one side, then the other. “Feels the same to me.”

  “Oh, you.” I gave him a gentle shove. I was eight months pregnant but I’d only gained fifteen pounds, all of it in my belly.

  “You almost ready? Your mom just pulled up.”

  I plopped down on the bed and held out my foot. “Yeah. I just need you to buckle my sandals.”

  Chase knelt down in front of me and lifted my ankle. “You’re wearing these?” He did a quick measure with his thumb and forefinger. “These are over three inches high. Shouldn’t you be wearing flats?”

  I made a pouty face. “I don’t have any that match this dress. Could you just buckle my shoes? I promise I’ll hang on to your big, strong arms whenever I’m walking.” I batted my eyes at him. “Okay, big fella?”

  He smirked. “Funny.”

  “C’mon. Don’t you want me to look all sexy for you? This might be one of the last times we get to go out to dinner before the baby comes. Pretty soon, I’ll be running around barefoot all day with spit-up in my hair.”

  “Nice. When you put it like that.” He buckled my straps and then helped me stand.

  And damn it if I didn’t sway.

  “Rain . . .”

  “I’m fine. Chill. I’ve been wearing flats for so long that I need to get used to the altitude. Just give me a second.”

  I snatched my bag off the dresser and let Chase lead me from the bedroom.

  “Don’t you look pretty?” my mother said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Cute shoes. Are they new?”

  “Ma!” My own mother had just outed me.

  Chase looked down at my feet and then back up at me, and he knew I’d pulled one over on him. “You said you didn’t have any shoes to match that dress. If you had to buy new ones, why didn’t you buy shoes you could walk in?”

  I was too pregnant and cranky for this discussion.

  “First of all, the dress is black, Chase. I could wear any color with it, so that was a lie. Secondly, I hate flats. I only have four more weeks to go. Why would I want to buy another pair of shoes I’ll never wear? And third, I can so walk in these.” I ended my rant by sticking out my tongue. See? Cranky.

  I draped a pashmina around my shoulders. “We’re just having dinner at the Stagecoach, so we won’t be late. I’ll put Izzy to bed when we get home, so just have fun. Don’t give her too much sugar though, okay?”

  My mother folded her arms across her chest and glared. “I raised you, you know? And you turned out just fine, even though you’re convinced all I fed you was sugar.”

  “I know you didn’t, but you weren’t a grandmother then.”

  Chase lifted Izzy so I could give her a kiss without bending.

  “Love you. I’ll see you when we get home.”

  “Bye, Iz. Be good for Mimi,” Chase added, kissing her neck until she erupted with a fit of giggles before he put her down.

  Just like he promised, Chase stayed glued to my elbow on the way to the car, then again into the restaurant and to the table.

  “What are you going to do if I have to go to the bathroom, huh?” I asked with a grin.

  “If you were worried about that, you should’ve worn sensible shoes.”

  I groaned. “I hate those two words used together. It’s the stuff of nightmares: ‘sensible shoes.’ Blech.”

  He sipped his water and pointed to mine. “I guess you’d better abstain if you don’t want me standing outside the bathroom stall.”

  “You mean bathroom door.”

  “I mean the stall door. If you think I’m letting you walk across a tile floor in high heels while you’re eight months pregnant, you’re sadly mistaken.”

  I would’ve laughed, but I knew he was serious. Which is why when I needed to pee halfway through dinner, I held it.

  And held it.

  By the time we were driving home, my eyeballs were floating.

  “Can’t you drive faster?” I wiggled in my seat. “I have to pee.”

  He didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

  When we got stuck at the only red light in Millstone, I swiveled in my seat and lifted my leg so I could stick my foot in his lap.

  “Unbuckle my shoe so I can get it off.”

  “Why?” he asked, fidgeting with the buckle while waiting for the light to change.

  “So I can run into the house as soon as you pull in the driveway.”

  Fortunately it was a long light, and he had time to unbuckle both of my shoes. I kicked them off, refusing to sigh in relief even though I wanted to, because yes, they hurt. The moment he pulled into the driveway, I hopped out and scurried across the lawn.

  “Be careful,” he barked as I hopped over the short hedge along the sidewalk.

  The front door was locked, and of course I didn’t have my key. I pounded on the door with the palm of my hand. “Mom! Open up!”

  The door swung open. “What the hell—”

  “Move!” I pushed past her while trying to run and squeeze my legs together at the same time, just as two dozen people shouted “Surprise!”

  “Oh, my god!” I waved and kept moving—that, or I would pee on my new carpet in front of a room full of people. “Can’t talk.”

  I zipped down the hallway, hiking up my dress to get to my panties as I reached the bathroom door, hoping no one could see me from the living room. If anyone was hiding in the bathroom, they would be the one getting the surprise.

  I collapsed onto the toilet just in time to hear another less hearty chorus of “surprise” for Chase and let my head drop into my hands.

  What the hell was going on? If my mother hadn’t answered the door, I might’ve thought we’d entered the wrong house.

  I was washing my hands when Chase tapped on the door and stepped inside.

  “What the hell is going on?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise housewarming and baby shower.”

  “What? How?” We had invited everyone to a housewarming party for next weekend. I’d already made a lot of the food and frozen it, but we still had to finish painting the kitchen, and the baby’s room wasn’t done yet. I tried to remember if I’d made the bed.

  “You didn’t know anything about it? Sense anything?”

  Did I? I searched my mind, but nothing was coming to me. I shook my head. “Nothing. I had no idea. That’s so weird.”

  Chase looked as flustered as I felt.

  Maybe pregnancy affected my ps
ychic ability.

  “Give me your hands,” I said.

  “What?”

  I held my hands up, palms forward. “Like this. Give me your hands.”

  He held his hands up, and I pressed my palms to his, then closed my fingers over his. The vibration was still there, as strong as ever. “Well, that still works.”

  Chase was getting antsy. I guess he didn’t like surprises any more than I did. “What are you talking about?”

  “Nothing. I’ll explain it later.”

  “Whatever, but we need to pull ourselves together and go out there. Everyone is waiting and wondering if you’re sick.”

  “Who’s here?”

  “Everyone. Although I didn’t see my family.”

  “I invited them for next week. Oh, my god. What if whoever threw this party didn’t invite them?” That had been the reason for this whole housewarming thing in the first place, to get Chase’s family here.

  “Maybe I just didn’t see them. If we stay in here much longer, people are either going to think you’re in labor or that we snuck out the bathroom window.”

  The casement window was too narrow. Neither of us would have been able to escape through it. Which reminded me, we should put a bigger window in when we remodeled.

  His sharp tone brought me back to the present. “Are you ready?”

  “Not really, but I guess we don’t have a choice.”

  It felt odd to be nervous walking down the hall in my own house, but I did. It didn’t help to be greeted with another chorus of “Surprise!” when we entered the living room.

  I saw my mother with some guy I didn’t recognize, Diane and Wally, Bobby and Janelle, Dennis and the rest of the racing crew, Irena, Lynette and her new boyfriend, my Aunt Donna and Uncle Bob, and lots of other friends. I didn’t, however, see Mrs. Holgate, Lorraine, or Dylan.

  Two tables stood side by side, one piled with pastel-wrapped gifts and another with gift bags and wrapped boxes. We had specifically said no gifts on the invitations we sent out, but it seemed no one had listened. Why would they? It’s not like any of them were actually attending that party anyway.

  I was more than surprised. I was overwhelmed and I needed to sit down, but it seemed I was going to have to hug two dozen people first.

  After the first few greetings, Chase interrupted. Whatever psychic abilities had deserted me must have flown over to him, because he’d totally read my mind.

  “Hey, if you guys don’t mind, Rain needs to sit. You can all pay her homage over here.” He was teasing, but I recognized the tension in his jaw. He was upset. I just didn’t know if it was because he disliked surprises that much or because his family wasn’t here. I hoped to god they’d been invited. Then again, if they had been and they’d refused to come, that might be worse.

  In the meantime, I was just grateful I could fake a smile.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  After opening what felt like a hundred gifts and eating the food I’d prepared and had frozen earlier for next week’s party, I cornered Diane in the kitchen.

  “Who’s responsible for this?” I didn’t want to sound like an ingrate, but it was hard to relax and enjoy myself when all I could think about was Chase’s family. My limited psychic abilities may have deserted me, but I could tell just by looking at Chase that something was bothering him, and I knew what that something was.

  Diane poured herself another margarita and licked some of the salt off the rim before she answered. “You’re acting like we did something wrong. It was me, your mom, and Aunt Donna. Who else would it have been? Lorraine?”

  She snorted.

  “Sorry. I’m thankful, really. I just had no clue this time. I was really surprised.”

  She rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ve surprised you before.”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  “Um, your birthday? Remember?”

  I shook my head and pushed her further into the kitchen where no one could hear us. I took her glass, licked the rim and took a mouthful of her margarita, and handed it back to her. “I knew. And wipe that horrified look off your face. One sip won’t do anything, I don’t have cooties, and you won’t get pregnant from my germs.”

  She stared at her glass woefully, then shrugged and took another sip.

  “Why didn’t you invite Chase’s family? You knew they were invited to the party next week?”

  “We did invite them.” She was practically spitting. “Lorraine emailed and said ‘Sorry. Can’t make it.’ Four fucking words. And Chase’s mother said she had been planning to attend the original event, but she already had plans this weekend. She said she would mail her gift.”

  I slumped against the counter. “Does Chase know?”

  “I think Wally told him.”

  From where I stood, I could see Chase in the living room with Wally and some of his other friends. They were laughing and carrying on, but Chase wore his usual serious expression. He seemed distracted, unfocused—unhappy, even, despite the surprise our friends had given us.

  “Give me another sip,” I demanded, holding out my hand.

  Diane pulled her arm back and almost sloshed half her margarita onto my clean kitchen floor. “I’ll make you a virgin margarita.”

  “A virgin margarita isn’t going to give me the fortitude to deal with that.” I pointed at Chase. “Look at him. He’s miserable. This is such a slap in his face, and it’s my fault.”

  “How the hell is it your fault? I thought things went well when you guys went to visit his mother at Christmas.”

  “Christmas, Diane. That was five months ago, and we haven’t seen her since. And as far as I know, things are still messed up between him and Dylan. Things only appeared to go well.”

  There was no one in the kitchen with us, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I lowered my head close to Diane’s ear and whispered. “His mother hates me. When she had me alone, she made it clear I wasn’t right for Chase and that he and his ex-fiancée will eventually get back together.”

  Diane reeled back. “That fucking bitch. If I’d known, I never would’ve invited her.”

  I shook my head. “No, no, you had to. That was the only reason I wanted to have the housewarming in the first place. I thought I could get his family here with other people around so it wouldn’t be awkward, and we could try and lay some groundwork to build some sort of relationship. If they could at least tolerate me, it would be better than this.”

  “Fuck them. They shouldn’t have to be made to tolerate you. You’re not someone who needs to be tolerated. You’re one of the best people I know.”

  I didn’t know how many margaritas Diane had ingested, but she was not only getting weepy, she was getting loud.

  I plucked the glass from her hand, drained the last of it, and put it in the sink. Then I grabbed a Pepsi from the cooler. “Here. Drink this. You’ve had enough of the hard stuff. Don’t tell anyone what I told you. Other than one little freak-out when he told her I was pregnant, Chase’s mother was nothing but kind and friendly when he was in the room, so that’s all he knows. I don’t want him to know anything else. Understand? Don’t you say one thing to Wally, because he’ll tell Chase—and I swear, if he does, I’ll tell Janelle it was you who spilled red wine on her new white couch at the twins’ birthday party.”

  “You bitch! That wasn’t me!”

  “I don’t care.”

  She narrowed her eyes but then stuck out her hand. “Deal.”

  I shook her hand. “And seriously, who gets a white couch with twin boys anyway?”

  “I know, right? Even though I didn’t spill the wine, I would’ve spilled something on it eventually.”

  I took the can of Pepsi from her and drank. I wasn’t supposed to have caffeine either, but I needed a jolt of something to keep me going. All I wanted was to sneak off to my bedroom.

  Diane yanked the can from my hand. “Can you get your own drink already?”

  “I will,” I said as Chase entered the kitchen for ano
ther Heineken from the cooler. “But first, I have to deal with this.”

  I sidled up to Chase, slipped my arm around his waist, and tucked my hand into the back pocket of his jeans. “How’re you doing?”

  His body swayed slightly, and when he smiled down at me, I could see he was drunk—or close to getting there.

  He put his arm around me, resting his hand on my hip, and pulled me closer.

  “I’m great. Some surprise, huh?” His tone was flat. Anyone hearing him might have thought he was ungrateful, but I knew differently, and it was killing me.

  “Izzy’s having fun,” I said. She was sitting next to Janelle, telling her all the names we had chosen for her new baby brother or sister. “She should probably go to bed soon. I’ll get her and—”

  “I’ll do it.” He threw his head back and finished half the bottle, then set it on the new end table. I snatched it up before it could leave a ring. “I need a break from all this celebrating.”

  “Kiss me first,” I said, wishing I could suck the sadness out of him somehow. It bothered me to see him like this. His pain was my pain, and it was deep.

  “I’m only going to put Izzy to bed.”

  “I know. Kiss me anyway.” I pulled him down, desperate to kiss the sadness off his face. When I caught his bottom lip in my teeth, he growled softly.

  “Later,” I promised. “You, me, and this basketball of a belly. I figured out a new way to get jiggy with it.”

  He let out a loud laugh. Success!

  “You got it. I think I need to get a little jiggy.” He kissed my forehead, then went to collect our daughter, smiling.

  And for the first time since we’d walked into our house that night, my heart felt a little lighter.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  “What are you looking at?”

  Diane came up behind me as I peeked out of her dining room window into the back yard. I smiled.

  “Nothing.” I smiled some more.