"Yeah."
"Is it sore?"
"It's more like the blood vessels ache."
She grabbed my penis. "Does it hurt for you to love me, Easy?"
"Yeah."
Her grip tightened. "I love it when you hurt, Easy. For us."
"Me too," I said.
"Do you feel it?"
"Yeah, I feel it."
She released me. "I don't mean that. I mean this house. I mean us here, like we aren't who they want us to be."
"Who?"
"They don't have names. They're just the ones who won't let us be ourselves. They never want us to feel this good or close like this. That's why I wanted to get away with you."
"I came to you."
She put her hand out again. "But I called you, Easy; I'm the one who brought you to me."
When I look back on that night I feel confused. I could say that Daphne was crazy but that would mean that I was sane enough to say, and I wasn't. If she wanted me to hurt, I loved to hurt, and if she wanted me to bleed, I would have been happy to open a vein. Daphne was like a door that had been closed all my life; a door that all of sudden flung open and let me in. My heart and chest opened as wide as the sky for that woman.
But I can't say that she was crazy. Daphne was like the chameleon lizard. She changed for her man. If he was a mild white man who was afraid to complain to the waiter she'd pull his head to her bosom and pat him. If he was a poor black man who had soaked up pain and rage for a lifetime she washed his wounds with a rough rag and licked the blood till it staunched.
It was mid-afternoon when I gave out. We had spent every moment in each other's arms. I didn't think about the police or Mouse or even DeWitt Albright. All I cared about was the pain I felt loving that white girl. But finally I pulled away from her and said, "We gotta talk, Daphne."
Maybe I was imagining it but her eyes flashed green for the first time since the bath.
"Well, what?" She sat up in the bed covering herself. I knew that I was losing her, but I was too satisfied to care.
"There's a lot of dead people, Daphne, and the police want me behind that. There's that thirty thousand dollars you stole from Mr. Carter and DeWitt Albright is on my ass for that."
"Any money I have is between me and Todd and I don't have anything to do with dead people or that Albright man. Nothing at all."
"Maybe you don't think so but Albright has the talent to make your business his …"
"So, what do you want from me?"
"Why'd Howard Green get killed?"
She stared through me as if I were a mirage. "Who?"
"Come on."
She looked away for a moment and then sighed. "Howard worked for a rich man named Matthew Teran. He was Teran's driver, chauffeur. Teran wanted to run for mayor but in that crowd you have to ask permission like. Todd didn't want Teran to do it."
"How come?" I asked.
"A while ago I met him, Teran I mean, and he was buying a little Mexican boy from Richard."
"The man we found?"
She nodded.
"And who was he?"
"Richard and I were"—she hesitated for a moment— "friends."
"Boyfriend?"
She nodded slightly. "Before I met Todd we spent some time together."
"The night I first started lookin' for you I ran into Richard in front of John's speak. Was he lookin' for you?"
"He might have been. He didn't want to let me go so he got together with Teran and Howard Green, to cause me trouble so they could get at Todd."
"What kind of trouble?" I asked.
"Howard knew something. Something about me."
"What?"
But she wouldn't answer that question.
"Who killed Howard?" I asked.
She didn't answer at first. She just played with the blankets, letting them fall down below her breasts.
"Joppy did," she said at last. She wouldn't meet my eye.
"Joppy!" I cried. "Why'd he want to do somethin' like that?" But I knew it was the truth even before I asked the question. It would take the kind of violence Joppy had to beat someone to death.
"Coretta too?"
Daphne nodded. The sight of her nakedness nauseated me right then.
"Why?"
"Sometimes I would go to Joppy's place with Frank. Just because Frank liked people to see me with him. And the last time I went there Joppy whispered that someone had been asking for me and that I should call him later to find out who. That's when I found out about that Albright man."
"But what about Howard and Coretta? What about them?"
"Howard Green had already come to me and told me that if I didn't do what he and his boss said they would ruin me. I told Joppy that I could get him a thousand dollars if he could make sure that Albright didn't find me and if he could talk with Howard."
"So he killed Howard?"
"It was a mistake, I think. Howard had a fast tongue. Joppy just got mad."
"But what about Coretta?"
"When she came to me I told Joppy about it. I told him that you were asking questions and"—she hesitated—"he killed her. He was scared by then. He'd already killed one man."
"Why didn't he kill you?"
She raised her head and threw her hair back. "I hadn't given him the money yet. He still wanted the thousand dollars. Anyway, he thought I was Frank's girl. Most people respect Frank."
"What's Frank to you?"
"Not anything you'd ever understand, Easy."
"Well, do you think he knows who killed Matthew Teran?"
"I don't know, Easy. I haven't killed anybody."
"Where's the money?"
"Somewhere. Not here. Not where you can get it."
"That money's gonna get you killed, girl."
"You kill me, Easy." She reached over to touch my knee.
I stood up. "Daphne, I gotta talk to Mr. Carter."
"I won't go back to him. Not ever."
"He just wants to talk. You don't have to be in love with him to talk."
"You don't understand. I do love him and because of that I can't ever see him." There were tears in her eyes.
"You makin' this hard, Daphne."
She reached for me again.
"Cut it out!"
"How much will Todd give you for me?"
"Thousand."
"Get me to Frank and I'll give you two."
"Frank tried to kill me."
"He won't do anything to you if I'm there."
"Take more than your smile to stop Frank."
"Take me to him, Easy; it's the only way you'll get paid."
"What about Mr. Carter and Albright?"
"They want me, Easy. Let Frank and me take care of it."
"What's Frank to you?" I asked again.
She smiled at me then. Her eyes turned blue and she laid back against the wall behind the bed. "Will you help me?"
"I don't know. I gotta get outta here."
"Why?"
"It's just too much," I said, remembering Sophie. "I need some air to breathe."
"We could stay here, honey; this is the only place for us."
"You wrong, Daphne. We don't have to listen to them. If we love each other then we can be together. Ain't no one can stop that."
She smiled, sadly. "You don't understand."
"You mean all you want from me is a roll in the hay. Get a little nigger-love out back and then straighten your clothes and put on your lipstick like you didn't ever even feel it."
She put out her hand to touch me but I moved away. "Easy," she said. "You have it wrong."
"Let's go get somethin' to eat," I said, looking away. "There's a Chinese place a few blocks from here. We could walk there through a shortcut out back."
"It'll be gone when we get back," she said.
I imagined that she had said that to lots of men. And lots of men would have stayed rather than lose her. We dressed in silence.
When we were ready to go a thought came to me.
"Daphne?"
/> "Yes, Easy?" Her voice was bored.
"I wanted to know somethin'."
"What's that?"
"Why'd you call me yesterday?"
She turned green eyes on me. "I love you, Easy. I knew it from the first moment we met."
27
Chow's Chow was a kind of Chinese diner that was common in L.A. back in the forties and fifties. There were no tables, just one long counter with twelve stools. Mr. Ling stood behind the counter in front of a long black stove on which he prepared three dishes: fried rice, egg foo young, and chow mein. You could have any one of these dishes with chicken, pork, shrimp, beef, or, on Sunday, lobster.
Mr. Ling was a short man who always wore thin white pants and a white tee-shirt. He had the tattoo of a snake that coiled out from under the left side of his collar, went around the back of his neck, and ended up in the middle of his right cheek. The snake's head had two great fangs and a long, rippling red tongue.
"What you want?" he yelled at me. I had been in Mr. Ling's diner at least a dozen times but he never recognized me. He never recognized any customer.
"Fried rice," Daphne said in a soft voice.
"What kind?" Mr. Ling shouted. And then, before she could answer, "Pork, chicken, shrimp, beef!"
"I'll have chicken and shrimp, please."
"Cost more!"
"That'll be alright, sir."
I had egg foo young with pork.
Daphne seemed a little calmer. I had the feeling that if I could get her to open up, to talk to me, then I could talk some sense into her. I didn't want to force her to see Carter. If I forced her I could have been arrested for kidnapping and there was no telling how Carter would have reacted to her being manhandled. And maybe I loved her a little bit right then. She looked very nice in that blue dress.
"You know, I don't want to force anything on you, Daphne. I mean, the way I feel you don't ever have to kiss Carter again and it's okay with me."
I could feel her smile in my chest and in other parts of my body.
"You ever go to the zoo, Easy?"
"No."
"Really?" She was astonished.
"No reason t'see animals in cages far as I can see. They cain't help me and I cain't do nuthin' fo' them neither."
"But you can learn from them, Easy. The zoo animals can teach you."
"Teach what?"
She sat back and looked into the smoke and steam raised by Mr. Ling's stove. She was looking back into a dream.
"The first time my father took me to the zoo, it was in New Orleans. I was born in New Orleans." As she spoke she developed a light drawl. "We went to the monkey house and I remember thinking it smelled like death in there. A spider monkey was swinging from the nets that hung from the top of his cage; back and forth. Anyone with eyes could see that he was crazy from all those years of being locked away; but the children and adults were nudging each other and sniggering at the poor thing.
"I felt just like that ape. Swinging wildly from one wall to another; pretending I had somewhere to go. But I was trapped in my life just like that monkey. I cried and my father took me out of there. He thought that I was just sensitive to that poor creature. But I didn't care about a stupid animal.
"From then on we only went to the cages where the animals were more free. We watched the birds mainly. Herons and cranes and pelicans and peacocks. The birds were all I was interested in. They were so beautiful in their fine plumes and feathers. The male peacocks would spread out their tail feathers and rattle them at the hens when they wanted to mate. My daddy lied and said that they were just playing a game. But I secretly knew what they were doing.
"Then, at almost closing time, we passed the zebras. No one was around and Daddy was holding my hand. Two zebras were running back and forth. One was trying to avoid the other but the bully had cut off every escape. I yelled for my daddy to stop them because I worried that they were going to fight."
Daphne had grabbed on to my hand, she was so excited. I found myself worried; but I couldn't really tell what bothered me.
"They were right there next to us," she said. "At the fence, when the male mounted the female. His long, leathery thing jabbing in and out of her. Twice he came out of her completely, and spurted jissum down her flank.
"My daddy and I were holding hands so tight that it hurt me but I didn't say anything about it. And when we got back to the car he kissed me. It was just on the cheek at first but then he kissed me on the lips, like lovers do." Daphne had a faraway smile on her face. "But when he finished kissing me he started to cry. He put his head in my lap and I had to stroke his head for a long time and tell him that it was just fine before he'd even look up at me again."
The disgust must've shown on my face because she said, "You think that it was sick, what we did. But my daddy loved me. From then on, my whole fourteenth year, he'd take me to the zoo and the park. Always at first he'd kiss me like a father and his little girl but then we'd get alone someplace and act like real lovers. And always, always after he'd cry so sweet and beg me to forgive him. He bought me presents and gave me money, but I'd've loved him anyway."
I wanted to run away from her but I was too deep in trouble to act on my feelings so I tried to change the subject. "What's all that got to do with you goin' t'see Carter?" I asked.
"My daddy never took me anywhere again after that year. He left Momma and me in the spring and I never saw him again. Nobody ever knew about him and me and what had happened. But I knew. I knew that that was why he left. He just loved me so much that day at the zoo and he knew me, the real me, and whenever you know somebody that well you just have to leave."
"Why's that?" I wanted to know. "Why you have t'leave someone just when you get close?"
"It's not just close, Easy. It's something more."
"And that's what you had with Carter?"
"He knows me better than any other man."
I hated Carter then. I wanted to know Daphne like he did. I wanted her, even if knowing her meant that I couldn't have her.
Daphne and I took the back path, through the bushes, to the little house. Everything was fine.
I opened the door for her. She hadn't had anything else to say after her story about the zoo. I don't know why but I didn't have anything else to say either. Maybe it was because I didn't believe her. I mean, I believed that she believed the story, or, at least, she wanted to believe it, but there was something wrong with the whole thing.
Somewhere between the foo young and the check I decided to cut my losses. Daphne was too deep for me. Somehow I'd call Carter and tell him where she was. I'd wash my hands of the whole mess. I'm just in it for the money, I kept thinking to myself.
I was so busy having those thoughts that I didn't think to check the room. What was there to worry about anyway? So when Daphne gasped I was surprised to see DeWitt Albright standing at the stove.
"Evening, Easy," he drawled.
I reached for the pistol in my belt but before I could get to it an explosion went off in my head. I remember the floor coming up to my face and then there was nothing for a while.
28
I was on a great battleship in the middle of the largest fire fight in the history of war. The cannons were red hot and the crew and I were loading those shells. Airplanes strafed the deck with machine-gun fire that stung my arms and chest but I kept on hefting shells to the man in front of me. It was dusk or early dawn and I was exhilarated by the power of war.
Then Mouse came up to me and pulled me from the line. He said, "Easy! We gotta get outta here, man. Ain't no reason t'die in no white man's war!"
"But I'm fighting for freedom!" I yelled back.
"They ain't gonna let you go, Easy. You win the one and they have you back on the plantation 'fore Labor Day."
I believed him in an instant but before I could run a bomb rocked the ship and we started to sink. I was pitched from the deck into the cold cold sea. Water came into my mouth and nose and I tried to scream but I was underwater. Drowning
.
When I came awake I was dripping from the bucket of water that Primo had dumped on me. Water was in my eyes and down my windpipe.
"What happened, amigo? You have a fight with your friends?"
"What friends?" I asked suspiciously. For all I knew at that minute it was Primo who suckered me.
"Joppy and the white man in the white suit."
"White man?" Primo helped me to a sitting position. I was on the ground right outside the door of our little house. My head started clearing.
"Yeah. You okay, Easy?"
"What about the white man? When did he and Joppy get here?"
"About two, three hours ago."
"Two, three hours?"
"Yeah. Joppy asked me where you were and when I told him he drove the car back around the house. Then they took off about a little bit after that."
"The girl with'em?"
"I don't see no girl."
I pulled myself up and went through the house, Primo at my heels.
No girl.
I went out back and looked around but she wasn't there either. Primo came up behind me. "You guys have a fight?"
"Not much'a one. Can I use your phone, man?"
"Yeah, sure. It's right inside."
I called Dupree's sister but she said that he and Mouse had left in the early morning. Without Mouse I didn't know what to do. So I went out to my car and drove toward Watts. The night was fully black with no moon and thick clouds that hid the stars. Every block or so there'd be a street lamp overhead, shining in darkness, illuminating nothing.
"Get out of it, Easy!"
I didn't say anything.
"You gotta find that girl, man. You gotta make this shit right."
"Fuck you!"
"Uh-uh, Easy. That don't make you brave. Brave is findin' that white man an' yo' friend. Brave is not lettin' them pull this shit on you."
"So what can I do?"
"You got that gun, don't ya? You think them men's gonna beat bullets?"
"They armed too, both of em."
"All you gotta do is make sure they don't see ya comin'. Just like in the war, man. Make believe you is the night."
"But how I even find'em t'sneak up on? What you want me t'do? Look in the phone book?"
"You know where Joppy live, right? Les go look. An' if he ain't there you know they gotta be with Albright."
Devil in a Blue Dress er-1 Page 15
