by Diane Gaston
He tapped on the arm of the chair. The previous governess had been ancient. Retaining her had been a terrible error. Would hiring one so young also be a mistake?
‘I shall understand the children better,’ she went on. ‘I well recall the mischief of young children.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘I do not need a governess who would join them in mischief.’
‘I would not!’ His insinuation obviously irritated her. ‘I am a most sober young lady.’
He stood and moved close to her again, close enough for his skin to warm from the proximity.
‘Tell me more, Miss Hill.’ His voice turned low.
She backed away, her hand fluttering to her hair, trying to brush a tendril off her cheek. ‘I know I am not a lady, precisely, but I was trained in the same way. I received every advantage....’ Her voice trailed off.
Curse him. He needed to keep his distance.
She took another breath. ‘There is another reason to engage me, sir.’
‘Pray tell,’ he said.
She looked him in the eye. ‘I have an acute appreciation of learning, my lord. My unique situation—that of one who would never otherwise be so educated—makes me appreciate the advantage. It has opened the world to me.’ She swept her arm towards the walls covered with leather-bound books. ‘I would show your children the world.’
For the first time, her face filled with sincere pleasure. It touched something deep within him, something he needed to keep buried. ‘You would create a bluestocking.’
‘Indeed not,’ she snapped. ‘I would create a lady.’ She pointed to the paper she’d handed him. ‘I learned all the feminine arts. Stitchery, watercolours, the pianoforte. Manners and comportment and dancing, as well.’ She jabbed her finger at her list. ‘I also have skills in mathematics and Latin, so I am well able to help prepare a boy for Eton...’ Her voice trailed off as if she feared she’d said too much. Her eyes pleaded. ‘I would please you, my lord. I am certain I would.’
He forced his gaze downwards, as hungry as a starving man for some of that youthful passion. Lawd. He was only thirty-three, but, at this moment, he felt like Methuselah.
The children deserved a proper education. A proper upbringing. He tapped a finger against his leg.
More than that, his children deserved some joy. The children were innocents, even if they embodied all his failures and mistakes. Let this governess—this breath of spring air—be a gift to them.
What’s more, she would be in a household where no man would take advantage of her. It was not as if he would be tempted. He hated Brentmore Hall and spent as little time there as possible.
He allowed his gaze to wander along the bookshelves, less dangerous than looking again into those hopeful eyes.
‘You need not attire yourself in drab greys,’ he finally said. It would be a shame to conceal all that loveliness under high necklines and long sleeves. ‘Your present wardrobe should suffice.’
‘I do not understand.’ Her voice turned breathy. ‘Do you mean—I have the position?’
He swallowed. ‘Yes, Miss Hill. You have the position.’
She gasped. ‘My lord! You will not regret this, I assure you.’
Her relief was palpable and the smile that broke out on her face made his insides clench.
He cleared his throat. ‘You will make yourself ready to assume your duties within the week.’
Her eyes glittered with sudden tears, and his arms flinched with an impulse to hold her and reassure her that all would be well, that she had nothing to worry about.
‘I will be ready, sir.’ Even her voice rasped with emotion.
He had to glance away. ‘I will send word to Lord Lawton that I have hired you.’
* * *
Anna blinked away relieved tears furious at herself for allowing her emotions to overrun her at this important moment. She wanted—needed—to remain strong or risk the chance that this marquess would again change his mind.
She’d not imagined him to be so formidable, nor so tall. And young. She’d thought he’d be like the gentlemen who called upon Lord and Lady Lawton, shorter than herself, with rounded bellies, and at least ten years older than the marquess. His eyes, as dark as the hair that curled at the nape of his neck and framed his face, unnerved her. Her legs trembled each time he looked at her with those disquieting eyes. Especially when he dismissed her without even allowing her to speak. At that moment she’d been sure all was lost.
What would she have done? Lord Lawton had made it clear there were limits to the assistance he’d render to help her find employment. And there was no one else she could turn to in London. Her parents and all the other people she knew were back at Lawton.
But the marquess had hired her! Even after she’d lost her temper with him. Even after that speech of hers about her esteem of learning.
Hopefully her love of learning would be enough to make her a governess, because she possessed no other qualifications for the job.
‘Well.’ She struggled for what to say next. ‘Excellent.’
His brows lowered again.
Oh, my. What if he changed his mind?
She cleared her throat, groping for an idea of what a governess ought to ask. ‘May I ask about the children? How many will be in my charge and—and to whom do I answer regarding their care?’
That sounded sufficiently like a governess.
He frowned, as if her question vexed him. ‘Two, only.’
She tried a smile. ‘Their ages?’
He averted his gaze. ‘My son is about seven. My...daughter, five.’
‘Lovely ages.’ Two children did not sound terribly daunting, especially two so young. ‘And are they at Brentmore Hall?’
She and Charlotte had looked in the Topography of Great Britain and an old volume of Debrett’s in the Lawtons’ library to learn about this marquess. They knew the marquess’s wife died a little over a year ago, but all else they discovered was that the marquess’s manor house, Brentmore Hall, was in Essex.
‘Of course they are at Brentmore,’ he snapped. ‘Where else would they be?’
Did that question offend him? Conversing with him was like walking on eggs.
He paced like a panther, a huge wild cat she and Charlotte saw once at the Tower of London. That black cat had prowled its cage, back and forth, back and forth, lethally dangerous and yearning to escape.
This marquess’s hair was as dark as a panther’s. As were his eyes. When he moved, it was as if he, too, wished to break free.
In any event, there was no call for him to growl at her.
‘I do not know where the children should be,’ she said in her haughty voice. ‘That was the point of my asking. I also wish to know where I am to live.’
He waved a hand. ‘Forgive me once more, Miss Hill. I am unaccustomed to interviewing governesses.’
She lifted a brow.
He pressed his lips together before speaking. ‘The previous governess passed away suddenly.’
She gasped. ‘Passed away? Your poor children!’ First their mother, then their governess? She felt a wave of tenderness for them. It seemed a lot for two little children to bear.
He stared at her again and some emotion flitted through those black eyes. Precisely what emotion, she could not tell.
‘How are they managing?’ she asked.
‘Managing?’ He seemed surprised at her question. ‘Tolerably well, Parker says.’
‘Parker?’
‘My man of business,’ he explained. ‘Fortunately he happened to be at Brentmore and has taken care of everything.’
‘You have not seen the children?’ How appalling.
His eyes narrowed. ‘Not since this happened. Not for a few months.’
She clamped her mouth shut. It seemed the only way to control it. Charlotte’s governess used to tell Anna to mind her tongue and never forget her station. It had always confused her, because she was also supposed to show Charlotte how to speak up and be bold.
She changed the subject. ‘Will I answer to your man of business, then?’
Oh, dear. Did he hear the disapproval in her tone?
‘You will answer to me.’ He fixed his panther eyes on her again. ‘In daily matters you will be in total charge of the children. You will decide their needs and their care. The other servants will defer to you in matters regarding them.’
Her eyes widened.
His expression turned stern. ‘If you are not up to the task, tell me now, Miss Hill.’
She could still lose this position.
She took a breath. ‘I am up to the task, my lord. I merely felt it wise to know the extent of my responsibility.’
He held her captive with his eyes, which turned unexpectedly sad. ‘Provide my children what they need. Make them happy.’
For a moment it was as if a mask dropped from his face and she glimpsed a man in agony.
This glimpse shook her more than the pacing panther.
‘I shall try my best,’ she whispered.
‘We are done, Miss Hill. I will send word to you when you are to leave for Brentmore.’ He turned away and prowled to the door.
She remembered to curtsy, but he did not see her. He left the room and a moment later the butler appeared to escort her to the hall. Once in the hall, the butler walked her to the door and opened it.
She was about to step across the threshold when the marquess’s voice stopped her. ‘Do not leave.’ He stood on the marble staircase, looking down on her.
Her anxiety returned. Perhaps he had reconsidered.
‘It is raining,’ he said.
The rain was pouring in sheets outside.
‘I do not mind the rain,’ she assured him.
‘You will be soaked within minutes.’ He descended the stairs and walked directly towards her.
Her fingers fluttered. ‘It is of no consequence.’
‘I will call my carriage for you.’ The marquess gestured towards the open door.
Her hand flew to her throat. ‘That is much too much trouble, sir. If you insist, I will borrow an umbrella—’
He cut her off. ‘An umbrella will be useless.’ Again he stared at her and did not speak right away. ‘I must go out. Very soon.’
The butler made a surprised sound.
The marquess shot him a sharp glance and turned his panther gaze back to Anna. ‘Wait a few moments. I will drop you off on my way.’
Ride with him in the carriage? Enter the panther cage? She could not refuse. He all but demanded it.
She curtsied again. ‘Thank you, sir. It is beyond generous of you.’
‘Shall the young lady wait in the drawing room, my lord?’ the butler asked, closing the door.
‘Yes.’ Lord Brentmore turned back to the stairs.
‘Very good, sir.’ The butler bowed curtly.
He led Anna to a beautifully furnished drawing room on the same level as the hall. Its brocade-upholstered sofas and crystal and porcelain spoke of opulence. One wall held a huge family portrait from a generation ago. A Gainsborough? It certainly appeared to be. She and Charlotte had seen engravings of Gainsborough’s portraits.
There was even a fire lit in the room, taking away the early spring chill.
‘Do sit, Miss Hill,’ the butler intoned.
She lowered herself into a chair by the fire and listened to the ticking of the mantel clock as she waited.
* * *
Twenty minutes later Brent was informed that the carriage waited outside. He donned his topcoat and hat, and had Davies collect Miss Hill.
He was putting on his gloves when Davies led Miss Hill back to the hall. Brent nodded to her and Davies escorted her to the door where footmen waited with umbrellas. One walked her to the carriage and helped her inside.
When Brent climbed in, she had taken the backward-facing seat, which meant he could not avoid watching her the whole trip.
She sat with graceful poise, her hands folded in her lap.
The carriage started moving.
He ought to engage her in polite conversation but, in such intimate quarters, he could not trust what might escape his mouth.
Finally it was she who spoke. ‘This is kind of you, sir. I am certain it takes you out of your way.’
He shrugged. ‘Not too far out of the way.’
Lord Lawton’s town house was on Mount Street, not more than a mile from Cavendish Square.
While the carriage crossed the distance, she looked out the window, but glanced his way occasionally. He could not keep his eyes off her, although he tried. When she caught him gazing at her, she smiled politely. He pined to see that genuine smile, the one that burst from her when she realised he had hired her.
The carriage reached Mount Street and stopped at the Lawton town house. One of the marquess’s footmen put the stairs down and opened the door, his umbrella ready to shelter her. The footman assisted her from the carriage.
She turned back to Brent. ‘Thank you again, my lord. I will await word from you when I should leave for Essex.’
He inclined his head. ‘I will see you are informed as soon as possible.’
‘I shall be ready.’ She smiled again, a hint of her sunshine in this one. ‘Good day, sir.’
He watched as the footman escorted Miss Hill to the door of the Lawtons’ town house. Even hurrying through the rain, she made an alluring picture. He watched until she disappeared behind the town house door.
He groaned.
It was a good thing she’d be on her way to Brentmore in a few days.
The coachman knocked at the window. Brent leaned forwards to open it.
‘Where to next, sir?’ the man asked.
‘Home,’ Brent said.
‘Home?’ His coachman probably thought Brent was addled.
And the man would be dead accurate if he did.
Brent had ordered his carriage, his coachman, footmen and horses out in the pouring rain. All to carry a governess one mile.
He was addled all right.
‘Home,’ he repeated and leaned back against the leather seat.
* * *
Anna glimpsed Lord Brentmore’s carriage pulling away through the crack of the town house door.
Rogers, the Lawton footman attending the hall, bent forwards to see as well. ‘Fancy carriage.’
‘Indeed.’ Anna’s emotions could not be more in a muddle. ‘Imagine riding in it with a marquess.’
‘So, what happened with your interview?’ Rogers asked.
She tried to smile. ‘He hired me. I am going to be a governess.’
Rogers closed the door. ‘Do I congratulate you?’
The position of governess was not an enviable one. A governess existed somewhere between servant and family, but was a part of neither. It was a rank to which Anna was very accustomed, though. Her unique situation as Charlotte’s companion made her too educated and refined to fit in with the servants, but she never, ever, could be considered family. She belonged...nowhere.
She took a breath. ‘Congratulate me.’
At least she would not wind up alone and penniless on the London streets.
Tears threatened suddenly, so Anna rushed up the stairs to her room, which once had been a maid’s room attached to Charlotte’s bedchamber. Charlotte and her mother would still be out making calls. Anna had time to compose herself.
She removed her gloves, hat and pelisse and tossed them on a chair. She flopped down on the small cot that was her bed and covered her face with her hands.
It had been only two days ago that Lord Lawton informed her it was no longer desirable to have her act as Charlotte’s companion. She was uncertain why. Perhaps it was because she had danced with some young gentlemen at a recent party? She’d thought it would have been rude to refuse. That was, however, the last social engagement she’d attended. Charlotte had henceforth gone on her own with only the company of one or both of her parents.
She’d not frozen or become mute as everyone feared. Charlotte had conque
red her timidity, as Anna always knew she could.
Anna’s days as companion had always been numbered. Charlotte was expected to make an excellent match and marry well. When that time came, Anna’s place in Charlotte’s life would have been lost. Anna had always assumed she’d return to Lawton House when Charlotte no longer needed her. She thought some useful role would be found for her. Lord Lawton, however, made it very clear he and Lady Lawton were terminating her services altogether.
What had she done to displease them so?
She’d never expected nor aspired to their affection, but she’d expected to be treated as a loyal servant.
At least Lord Lawton had troubled himself enough to arrange the interview with Lord Brentmore. For that she should be grateful. Instead her emotions were consumed with the idea of losing the only home she’d ever known and being separated from all she knew and cared about. Her mother. Her father.
Charlotte.
Especially Charlotte. She was closer to Charlotte than to anyone else, even her mother.
Her chin trembled.
She put her fist to her mouth and fought for control of her emotions.
This was not a banishment, even though that was precisely how it felt. It was a natural progression of change, nothing more. It had been her folly not to anticipate its possibility. She must remain strong and fearless. Being strong and fearless were precisely the qualities that had led to her becoming Charlotte’s companion in the first place, a circumstance she could never regret.
She’d told Lord Brentmore the truth when she’d said her education opened up the world for her. She could not imagine not knowing about geography, philosophy, mathematics. She’d learned Latin and French. Painting. Dancing. Needlework. There was no end to all the wonderful things she’d learned at Charlotte’s side. No matter what happened to her, no one could ever take away all she’d learned.
She sat up and thrust her unhappiness aside. How bad could it be to become a governess to two small children in a country house that was very likely similar to Lawton House? And as a governess, she would have an excuse to continue to study and read.
The door to Charlotte’s bedchamber opened. ‘Anna?’
Anna rose from her bed and walked to the doorway that separated her little room from Charlotte’s. ‘I am here.’ She smiled at this young woman with whom she felt as close as a sister. ‘How were your calls?’
