I licked my lips and drank some water as I thought about it. This was happening way too fast. I wanted to believe him but-
"Why, Jasper?" I asked him slowly. "You can have anyone. I'm not even...well, you don't even know if we'll be sexually compatible."
"The sex will be great. You don't have to worry about that. Just let me know when you're ready for me to break you in."
I looked at him suspiciously. "Is it the challenge? Because I'm...green when it comes to this. Is it the thrill of introducing me to sex with a man?"
Something like hurt flashed across his eyes but was gone too quickly. It was ridiculous. We barely knew each other. How could I have the power to hurt him already? He was one of the toughest people I had ever met.
"Like I said," he said in a quiet voice and went back to his meal. "I care about you. We won't move any further if you don't trust me."
We continued the rest of the meal in silence and for some reason, my chest felt heavy. I felt...pain. For this man. I felt like I really had hurt him and it didn't sit well with me. I wished I could take it back. But I'd always been insecure. Always doubted whether anyone genuinely wanted me in their lives. I had never had that in all my twenty two years of existence. I knew if I accepted Jasper Wells in that way, I wouldn't belong to myself anymore.
I'd be his.
....
Tossing my textbook down, I removed my glasses and rubbed my face wearily.
"I'm sick of studying," I grumbled to Jasper who looked sideways at me as he worked on his laptop and frowned.
"Well you've been at it since four p.m," he said dryly. "It was bound to get tiring at some point."
We were at his apartment and it was almost nine p.m. I'd gone back to campus to get my things after that emotionally-charged lunch during which Jasper had revealed he wanted us to date exclusively. My exams were in two weeks and I really needed to get excellent grades to further my chances of landing good jobs in future
I slumped back against the couch, closing my eyes. "I'd like to go to London with you," I murmured almost sleepily.
He clicked away on his laptop. "Assuming you survive the next two weeks," he said evenly and I breathed out a laugh.
Slowly, I opened my eyes to look at him. He was busy editing pictures and his back was to me. His strong, muscled back where the fabric of his white t-shirt stretched tight. The white always suited his blond hair, cut short and a little messy at that moment because he had run his fingers through it a few times during the hours I'd been there.
"What was your first time like? With a man."
He straightened at my question and turned to look at me, a small smile playing around his mouth. "Very nice," he said with feeling and I felt a spark of jealousy.
"Was it you who fucked him or the other way around?" I frowned.
He didn't break his stare. "Both."
I nodded briefly, looking away from him. Why did I hate the thought of that? The reminder that he'd been with other people and enjoyed it when I hadn't been a part of his life till only recently?
"Wish you hadn't asked now, huh?" he said in a teasing voice as he shifted closer to me.
I didn't find it amusing at all and it showed on my face. Jasper just chuckled.
"Come here. You study too much. You need to relax."
He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around before starting to massage the knotted up muscles of my neck and back. He was good at it too and I felt myself relaxing as he worked to release the tension.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" I asked sharply.
Jasper's body shook as he laughed. "No, Cole. I really am trying to make you relax. You haven't stopped studying for the past five hours except to go to the bathroom."
I felt my lips stretching into a reluctant smile. "Know all the right things to say, don't you, Wells?"
He hummed something under his breath and gave me the massage of the century before getting up to go into the kitchen.
"Sorry I didn't make anything. But I do have leftover chicken salad in the fridge. Will that be okay or you want me to order something else?"
He liked to take care of me. He actually liked doing it. I felt warmth in my heart, making me a little less suspicious, a little more receptive. He was probably too good to be true. But in case he wasn't, I knew I would kick myself for not trying harder. For not letting him in. It was now or never.
"Chicken salad is fine," I said and stood up, approaching him slowly.
For once, I didn't feel nervous or scared. I felt...calm. Like I was surrendering myself to something that was meant to happen eventually. Something true and good. Something right.
He was at the microwave pushing some buttons and I went up to him, placed my hand on the back of his neck and kissed him deeply. He turned to me, responding without hesitation, welcoming my tongue into his mouth while his hands pulled me closer against him.
I groaned with frustration, needing this. Wanting to give him this. Finally feeling ready. My hand went to his crotch and rubbed at his erection. Jasper grunted, rubbing back against my hand and biting my lip.
"Jesus, Cole," he hissed and then kissed me harder, my lungs screaming for air but my body too aroused to slow down.
After a minute of kissing and grinding against him, I made myself pull away. He was breathing heavily like me, his eyes so dark and face flushed with desire for me.
"Let's go to bed," I said, surprised at how sure I was. Not a grain of doubt left in my mind.
We headed to his bedroom but then Jasper stopped in his tracks and walked over to the couch. I stood there, tense and extremely horny, watching as he picked up my glasses from the coffee table and returned to me.
Slowly, gently, he put them on me and gazed at me hotly.
"Don't take them off," he whispered, making me harder than I already was.
He took my face in his hands and kissed me again, pushing me back towards his room where the door was left wide open. We kept on kissing as I crawled backwards on his bed, his weight on top of mine.
"Wait," I said and Jasper broke the kiss to look down at me. I shifted away to remove my shirt and jeans before slowly taking off my boxers.
Jasper's eyes scrolled all the way from my face to my legs and then back up, growing darker by the second.
"Come here," he growled, pulling me against him once more.
He licked my neck, grazed his teeth down my chest while moving towards my cock and when his mouth finally came down on me, I bucked and cried out at the agonising pleasure shooting through my whole body.
"Oh, fuck, Jasper," I bit out, rising up on my elbows to watch him as he sucked me off.
I had received blowjobs before but I'd never felt this strongly, as though I was completely at his mercy.
He did it until I was rock hard and about to explode but he stopped before I came. Jasper’s features were taut with lust when he came back up and kissed me again, our chests rubbing together and the bulge in his pants teasing my cock.
Another sound came out of me. "Please, please take your clothes off," I whispered, wanting to feel his bare skin on mine.
He sat up and undressed himself and my gaze snagged on his dick because I couldn't help it. It was the first time I'd ever seen one up close apart from my own. My mouth watered and I almost laughed at my reaction. But this wasn't something to laugh about. He was going to put that in me. I just sensed without even asking that Jasper wasn't a bottom when it came to male-on-male sex.
He paused for a second to regard me with a frown. "Are you okay?" he asked me gruffly.
I nodded as though in a daze. My head was swimming with sensation and expectation. I wanted him to fuck me. Just own me.
"Yes," I whispered and he kept looking at me. "Yes," I said a little louder.
He seemed to be satisfied with that and opened the drawer to remove a small bottle from it plus some condoms. The bottle contained lube which he proceeded to use on me, rubbing some on my asshole and some on my dick.
He gave me a smile as he worked, an amused and indulgent smile when he noticed I had just given myself over to him and was going to let him take the lead. I adjusted my glasses and felt myself stretching from his fingers which slid in and out of me slowly. It didn't feel too uncomfortable. No. In fact, it felt really good.
My cock begged for attention and Jasper leaned forward, took one of my hands and wrapped it around my erection before going back to his task. My breathing quickened again as he stretched me while stroking his own dick with the other hand and alternated between watching my face and my hand which had begun to stroke my own cock rhythmically.
I wanted to come so bad. And I wanted him to fuck me. Hard. Shit, I just wanted him.
He sensed I was ready maybe so he put on the condom, pushed my legs back and positioned himself at my back entrance.
"I'll try to go slow," he said while beginning to push himself in. My head fell back, my body was on fire and I kept stretching to accomodate him as he slid inside slowly while continuing to use lube on me.
It was the most erotic moment of my life. I groaned again at the deep and earth-shattering pleasure I was feeling. He didn't break his control once. He didn't go wild and selfish on me and start thrusting like a maniac.
He broke me in slowly, carefully, making sure I enjoyed my first time and the feelings were so intense I came hard, liquid flowing over the fingers of my hand.
"Cole," Jasper breathed out, moving his hips a little faster but still completely in control.
"Oh fuck," he choked out after a few more thrusts and then groaned with pleasure as release claimed him, his muscles glistening with sweat, the tendons of his neck stretching, his eyes unfocused as his body trembled in the aftermath.
When he had finished, I rose up and kissed him, deeply, feeling so much for this man that it overwhelmed me body and soul. He was...everything. He felt like a crucial part of me. I was never letting him go.
****
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jasmine
There were steel bands caging me as the remnants of sleep faded away, hot air against the back of my neck and a heaviness weighing me down. I opened my eyes slowly to find the room mildly illuminated by the morning sunshine filtering through the heavy curtains of my hotel room. It took me a few seconds to realise that the weight upon me was Jasper's body and I stiffened before proceeding to disentangle myself from his arms.
Jasper let out a sound of protest but I kept pushing him off until he cursed and shifted away from me. Sitting up, I glared at him while he yawned and rubbed his eyes.
Then he squinted at me and said in a gravelly voice, "For fuck's sake, what is wrong with you?"
I maintained my glare and gestured between us. "I told you I can't sleep with anyone. What is wrong with you?"
He puffed out his cheeks before turning over and burying his head under a pillow. "It's too early for this shit," came his muffled voice.
I filled my lungs with some air and then threw off the blankets, making my way over to the bathroom. I didn't like to share the bed. The night he had first fucked me, I'd told him that and he'd moved to the couch when it was time for me to finally fall asleep. But last night, he seemed to have forgotten that bit of information and had stayed in bed with me. I had dozed off sometime around midnight. It was seven in the morning now.
I'd slept in this man's arms for seven hours and hadn’t even woken up once within that time frame. It made me uncomfortable knowing that I hadn't even been able to manage that with my own husband in ten months of being married.
The cold spray from the shower greeted me after I shed my clothes and stepped inside the cubicle. I chewed on my lips, digging my nails into my palms and breathing fast. It hurt. It hurt because there was someone in this world who had loved me so much...probably still did and had constantly wished for me to share these little intimacies with him. Had waited months only for me to tell him I had kissed another man and that I couldn't stay with him anymore.
He'd cried...he'd stood there in that living room with bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks, begging me not to leave. To not give up on us. He told me he'd do anything. And that's when I knew I really couldn't stay. I knew how much he meant it. He would do anything for me. Even if it killed him deep down.
If he could see me now, he'd curse me a million times over. What was I good for, anyway? Wrecking lives and satisfying my own selfish needs.
"Armaan," I whispered and heard the longing in my own voice. I missed him terribly this morning and was glad I was nowhere near my phone. One call and I would break. I would want to see him.
All these months of resolve would have been for nothing. I couldn't give him what he wanted. But he would never know. He would never know how much I would regret it. For as long as I lived and breathed, I would never forget his love for me.
****
Armaan
"Shit!" I let out a painful hiss, watching the blood ooze out from my finger with horror and a sickening sensation in my gut.
I felt dizzy for a crazy few seconds before grabbing the kitchen towel and pressing it to my finger. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to find out if my finger was fully intact or not.
The thought made me nauseous so I lowered myself to the floor, leaned my head back against the counter and rested my covered finger atop a raised knee. My skin was cold but I felt sweat coating it. I took deep, fortifying breaths. I could do this. It was only blood. I'd seen it before. No big deal.
But I still didn't move to check the injury. Damn that butcher knife. Cooking was my thing and I was usually pretty careful but...I hadn't been concentrating.
Because of Jasmine.
Shaking my head to banish my stupid fears regarding the blood, I gingerly removed the towel. It was covered with red splotches.
Oh fuck.
Gritting my teeth, I chanced a look at the cut and then let out a breath of relief. Okay so now it wasn't oozing blood out like a fountain, just hadn't clotted yet. It stung but wasn't that deep. Exhaling again, I got to my feet to bandage it properly.
Then I picked up my phone and texted Jasper. I didn't know who was with him or what he was doing but I was going to talk to him. Fear that had nothing to do with cuts or blood crawled inside my heart and made camp there. I wasn't a believer in premonition but I couldn't ignore that persistent feeling that something was very wrong. And as much as I hated it, he was the only one I could talk to about it.
The text was sent but not delivered. I tried not to throw the coffee mug that was in front of me against the fridge. Anger was started to bubble inside my gut.
Without even thinking it through, I dialled Cole's number. He picked up on the fifth ring, greeting me in a subdued tone.
"Hey, buddy. Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked.
"No, I was up. What is it?"
I tried to come up with something to say without giving too much away and settled on, "I was just wondering if Skye managed to contact Jasmine. Was it very important?"
He was quiet for a while. And then, "No. It wasn't important. I'm sorry if she bothered you."
I frowned. "She didn't. It's cool. Um...if you aren't doing anything today, why don't you come over for lunch? Bring Skye and Jasper too."
Cole cleared his throat and I heard the sound of dishes clinking in the background. "We can't, Armaan. Skye isn't feeling well. And Jasper's in London. Some other time, maybe."
I swallowed the bile rising in my throat.
"Yeah, all right. I hope she feels better soon," I said and hung up.
My jaw clenched with suppressed anger. Didn't Wells just get back from London less than a week ago? What the fuck was he up to? Yeah, I'd made a deal with him but when he accepted it, I had no idea he would become this enthusiastic to fulfill his end of it.
Bastard.
****
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cole
"Cole, did you see my vitamin pills?" Skye's soft voice came from behind me and I shook my head without turning around.
>
"No, baby. Did you check in the bathroom?"
She walked off in that direction while I stared unseeingly at the TV. We hadn't slept much last night and had the dark circles to show for it. Skye was simply going through the motions after waking up today. She hadn't wanted to get out of bed but I managed to coax her out of it.
Being pregnant as she was, if she sank into depression, it would be disastrous for her as well as the baby so I had to be the strong one. I had to motivate her somehow even if she looked like she might break down again at any moment. The slightest bit of pain could destroy her, that was how fragile she was right now.
My phone buzzed and I glanced at it, my heart skipping a beat. Jasper calling...I checked to see if Skye was still in the bathroom before answering, turning to face towards the kitchen.
"Wells," I said in a normal tone.
"Hey. Good morning. Where's Skye? Is she okay? Her phone is switched off," he said to me.
I sighed a little. "She's fine. She's in the bathroom."
"She sounded really angry with me. Tell her I'm sorry. I was just-"
"Work pressure, yes, I know," I cut him off quickly before he could lie to me. "Don't worry, I'll tell her."
He was silent for a while and then asked, "Are you okay?"
I swallowed at his intimate tone and frowned at nothing in particular as I dipped my head. "Yes. And you?"
"I'm okay, too. Have to go for a shoot. Take care of yourself. And Skye. I love you."
My breath hitched in my throat and it felt tight and painful. "Yeah. Me too. See you tomorrow."
I hung up before he could say anything more. I love you.
I was mentally transported back to the first time he said those words to me. I had hesitated to believe him then.
I didn't believe him at all now.
~~~
Six years ago
…
Cole
I pushed my way through the crowd, loud music blasting in my ears and open night air cooling off the mild sweat on my body. Someone, a rough-looking massive Italian with tattoos, bumped into me and I was almost knocked sideways. I pushed him firmly away before continuing on my path.
Once A Cheater Page 14
