‘Those too,’ I admitted, ‘but enzymes are the real test.’ We sat in a companionable silence for a few moments then I said, ‘How come you happened to turn up just as they decided to release me? I can’t believe you make a habit of hanging around police stations.’
‘I avoid close contact with them if I can,’ he agreed. ‘We’ve been ringing the gendarmerie for news all day; of course they wouldn’t say a thing, merely said they’d inform Tom of the progress of their investigations in due course - so Oscar and I decided to see if we had better luck trying to get some information in person. You must have just missed him, he’s inside.’
Informing Tom of the progress of the investigations? I had no idea if the police regarded what was taken down in a statement as sacrosanct, rather like the confessional, unless the details were needed in court of course, or if they passed on some of the vital bits to the owner of the property. It didn’t seem very likely. On the other hand, with a case like this where there was a large insurance pay-out to be made...
‘We couldn’t really have timed it better, could we?’ Robert went on heartily. ‘Now what would you prefer, to go out for a drink to celebrate your release, or to go back to the cottage first?’
No, I definitely didn’t want to go back to the cottage. Not yet. Call me a weed if you like, but that sick feeling about someone deliberately landing me in this was still much too strong.
‘What I’d like is to see Janey. There’s something I need to talk to her about.’
‘OK,’ said Robert, looking at me curiously, as well he might. ‘We’ll wait until Oscar comes out. I can’t think what’s keeping him but he shouldn’t be long.’
True to his words the door to the gendarmerie swung open and Oscar came out. He must have lost one of his contact lenses again, I thought, seeing his vague expression as he looked rather blindly around; he’s far too vain to ever wear his back-up glasses. I waved to get his attention. His face broke into the most enormous grin and he raced over, seizing me in a bear hug and squeezing until I had to beg for mercy.
‘I have never been so worried in my life!’ he declared, words falling out over themselves as he hugged me again, though more gently this time. ‘What has been going on? It was the most ridiculous idea that you might have stolen the picture, no matter what you said to me - and how come you told them about that?’ he asked reprovingly. ‘Honestly, you should have known the police don’t have a sense of humour when people make jokes about stealing pictures.’ Robert started and stared at me.
‘They were pretty sniffy with me for not telling them about it yesterday,’ Oscar went on, ‘but, as I said, I knew you hadn’t done it so I didn’t see the point in bringing it up. That fearsome woman with the face like granite said it was up to her to decide what was to the point or not and I could have been in serious trouble for withholding evidence. Honestly, I thought I was going to be the one thrown in clink next.’ He looked as if he’d really thought this was a possibility. ‘I told her we all knew the picture was still on the wall when you came back to the drawing room and you spent the rest of the evening leaning on my shoulder, very heavy you were too, so I would certainly have noticed if you’d popped out for a few minutes to do a bit of pilfering. She seemed to think I wasn’t taking the matter seriously enough.
‘Were they absolutely beastly to you?’ he went on, looking concerned. ‘I’ve been in twice already to get news. I was about to start threatening them with lawyers, the Consul - the lot; I just couldn’t believe it when they said they’d already let you go without charge!’ I got hugged again. ‘Of course they didn’t bother to say so until they’d taken the second statement from me,’ he added in disgust at this evidence of police brutality. ‘But what made them change their minds? It should have been obvious to anyone that it was just drink talking.’
‘I hadn’t had as much as you thought I had,’ I said mildly, taking advantage of his running out of breath just for a second or two to get a couple of my own words in sideways.
‘Come on, Nella. Sober people don’t go around planning to pinch their host’s property! Well, not people like you.’
‘I wasn’t planning to,’ I said indignantly. “We were only joking.’
‘We?’ queried Robert, eyeing me thoughtfully. ‘So that’s why you need to talk to Janey.’
They both looked at me expectantly. I reluctantly filled them in.
‘Unfortunate timing in the circumstances,’ Robert said when I’d finished, ‘but nothing heinous. If everybody who ever hoped out loud for a nice burglary to clean up on the insurance was locked up it’d be standing room only in your average jail.’ He shook his head in bemusement. ‘But you’re supposed to be intelligent, Nella. What were you thinking of - telling the police you’d even played with the idea of going into the art-theft business? You must have known that they’d turn up with the handcuffs within minutes.’
‘Of course I didn’t tell them about it,’ I said crossly. ‘For one thing, I swore to Janey I wouldn’t. She didn’t want Tom to find out.’
‘Given his present mood I’m not surprised,’ he said. ‘Then how did they find out?’
‘Someone decided to make trouble for me.’
There was a silence. Robert asked in a tense voice, ‘Who do you think it was?’
I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t know what he was asking, nor that I hadn’t thought of it myself. I sighed. ‘It would have been the perfect payback, wouldn’t it? But it wasn’t you.’
‘How can you be sure?’ he asked, eyes fixed intently on my face.
I shrugged. ‘I can’t, can I? But I think if you were going to get back at me in that sort of way you’d have done it ages ago while you were still in a red-hot rage. And I can’t believe that you’d land me in the soup, then come along to give me a cuddle and let me sob on your shoulder, either. You aren’t that devious.’
‘I could have changed,’ he said, then smiled suddenly. ‘But thanks for believing that I haven’t,’ he said as he bent down to give me a quick kiss.
‘Then who did it?’ Oscar asked.
I wrenched my attention back from Robert. ‘There’s only one person who’s got it in for me - two now, I suppose - but denunciation isn’t George’s style and he wasn’t there to hear what I’d said either. So it must have been Maggie, mustn’t it?’
CHAPTER 20
Oscar protested that it couldn’t possibly be Maggie. One of his friends would never do something like that. But he was forced to concede eventually that everything pointed to her as the culprit; for one thing, she had been the only one sitting near enough to us to have heard what I’d said. ‘But you can’t be sure,’ he said firmly. I was, actually, but was prepared to leave a small margin of doubt if that made him feel happier. ‘Look, if she did drop you in it, I’m certain all she thought she was doing was giving you an unpleasant half hour or so. She couldn’t have known it would get out of hand like it did,’ he said unhappily. Robert and I both looked at him rather sceptically, and he shrugged. ‘Come on, Maggie knew Nella was due to leave tomorrow. Do you really think she’d have risked having her hanging around Phil for a second longer than strictly necessary?’
Rather reluctantly, for it would have been far more satisfactory to be able to dump all the responsibility for today’s traumas on a single set of shoulders, I had to admit that he was probably right. I also doubted Maggie would have been prepared to chance Phil seizing on me as a poor little thing in need of masculine protection.
‘He can’t know you very well if he thinks that,’ said Robert.
It seemed that once the police antennae had been set twitching by the information that I’d openly declared I was going to steal the picture, they started picking up on random statements made by the others, all harmless in themselves, and wove them into a seamless theory that implicated me completely. So it wasn’t all Maggie’s fault - not entirely. But it still didn’t mean that I had to like her.
Oscar suggested that he and I went out for dinner thi
s evening, and since I wanted to see Janey anyway he said he’d save time by fetching me a change of clothes from the cottage while I was talking to her. As I had no more wish to see Maggie than Oscar had to referee the blood bath that would undoubtedly ensue, I was happy to fall in with the idea. As it happened it wasn’t necessary to warn Janey that I’d been forced to break my promise. Lieutenant Fournier had already rung her for a quick telephone interview and she knew I’d been released - and why I’d been taken in for questioning in the first place.
‘You should have told the police all about our conversation straight away,’ she scolded as she took me out on to the terrace to have a welcome glass of wine.
‘I didn’t realise that was what they wanted to know,’ I said tiredly. I’d already heard far too much on this subject on the way here. It had taken the two men a remarkably short time to go from delight at my narrow escape to carping along the lines of had I been completely mad to imagine even for one minute that I was going to get away with concealing anything from the French police, and did I have any idea how lucky I was... etc. Yes, I did, and I didn’t need anybody spelling it out for me. The conversation had gone rapidly downhill and by the time we reached the château the atmosphere was so heated, on my part anyway, that Robert promptly decided the decent thing was to give Oscar a lift to the cottage while I was left to talk to Janey alone.
She glanced at me and probably wisely decided that it was better not to go on with this line of conversation. Instead she handed me my drink which was a much better idea. ‘I feel so guilty,’ she said quietly. ‘You spent the last day of your holiday banged up in the nick. And all because of me.’
‘Because of Maggie actually,’ I corrected her, my hands curling into fists. It was lucky for the others in the cottage I was leaving tomorrow, all things considered. I did my best to summon a smile. ‘But just think of when I’m back at the office next week. Nobody, but nobody is going to be able to better my holiday stories, are they?’
‘Don’t add murder to your list of holiday exploits, please,’ Janey begged and then with rare understanding helped me to work off my residual bad mood by speculating on how I could get even with Maggie - in ways that didn’t involve a prison sentence. Some of her suggestions were brilliantly inventive. By the time Robert appeared, swinging a carrier bag from one hand and accompanied by the usual canine cacophony, I was by no means reconciled to what had happened but at least I no longer wanted to rip someone’s head off.
‘Shame you couldn’t have made that row with the burglar,’ he said severely to the dogs and put the bag down on a chair. ‘Clean clothes, Nella. Oscar’s choice, so if you don’t like them blame him, not me.’
I had a horrid vision of what my room must look like after the police had finished going through it, all upended drawers and the mattress on the floor. Or was I mixing up police searches with burglaries? Either way it wasn’t nice to think someone had been going through all your things and noting where you’d been too lazy to do an actual mend and had cobbled something together with safety pins and Sellotape. ‘Is it a terrible mess?’ I asked apprehensively.
‘It doesn’t look too bad to me. Oscar says they were very careful about putting it all back, and your room is tidier than before they searched it. Nice to know that you’ve gained something out of the day, isn’t it?’ Yeah, well, I could think of less stressful ways of getting my room tidied. Like doing it myself. I’d have to think of that in future.
‘Apparently the woman gendarme searching Sally’s room was fascinated by her Floris talcum powder,’ he said, propping himself comfortably against the terrace wall and holding out his hand for a glass of wine with a smile of thanks. ‘Sally isn’t sure if the gendarme was particularly fond of Wild Hyacinth or if she imagines that scented cocaine is the latest thing on the London PR circuit.’
Janey grinned. ‘Charlie must have been having kittens.’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked.
She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. ‘Haven’t you noticed that way he goes from being really quiet to the life and soul of the party? It makes me wonder if he’s not on the happy powder.’
Robert nodded. ‘That’s occurred to me too. There were a couple of guys at university who sometimes never said a word, then at others behaved as if they thought they were invincible. It turned out they had a major habit. You must have known people like that, Nella.’
‘We obviously moved in different circles. My friends were pushed to buy a pint, let alone a line of cocaine. Look, I’m sure you’re wrong,’ I said uneasily. ‘He’s just one of those people who go up and down a lot.’
‘Maybe,’ he said equably, then turned to Janey. ‘You’ll have to tell Tom why the police were so keen to interview Nella.’
‘I can’t,’ she said immediately. ‘You’ve seen the mood he’s in, Rob. I don’t dare.’
He looked at her steadily. ‘And if he finds out from someone else? Then he’ll think you’ve really got something to hide.’
She sighed heavily. ‘Oh God, I suppose you’re right. Problem is, I don’t know when I can do it. We’ve got a duty dinner this evening with a couple he finds dead bores - I do, too - so he’s not going to be inclined towards forgiveness or understanding.’
‘What about tomorrow?’ Robert suggested. ‘He’ll be so delighted to have the house - and you - to himself at last that he’ll be ready to forgive you anything. Maybe not eloping with Jed, but just about anything else.’
Janey smiled. ‘Frankly, that’s a choice I’d rather not give him. I’d hate to find out that he values his picture more than his wife. So you’re really going?’
He nodded. ‘I’ve got to. I’ve been away far too long. And you have to admit that as far as Tom is concerned I’ve definitely outstayed my welcome.’
She didn’t bother to deny it. ‘Are you sure you’re up to it? I still can’t believe that your knee is up to doing all that driving. You know you can stay here for as long as it takes.’
He put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. ‘Don’t fuss. I’m absolutely fine, though I appreciate the thought very much indeed,’ he said and kissed her cheek.
Lily sat up with a woof as Tom stepped out from the kitchen. He came to a stop, his brows snapping together at the sight of his guest’s hand resting on Janey’s waist. ‘May I ask what you’re doing?’ he demanded.
Robert smiled at him, completely unabashed. ‘Kissing your wife. You don’t mind, do you?’ he asked as he let Janey go, though without any undue haste.
Tom looked as if he did mind, very much indeed. His mouth tightened and his eyes swept around the table. ‘Oh it’s you, Nella,’ he said in a voice that was only marginally more friendly than the one he had used with Robert. I could see his next question was going to be why had the police thought it necessary to question me all day about the theft of his picture, and I agreed completely with Janey that right now was not the time to begin telling Tom how I’d agreed to steal his picture. Fortunately Delphine chose that moment to bring the twins out onto the terrace to say ‘Bonne nuit’. Adam, I thought it was Adam, it was difficult to tell, hurled himself at his father in a frenzy of affection, chanting, ‘Papa, Papa, Papa,’ in a tuneless and loud monotone, while his brother grabbed hold of one of Tom’s legs thus rendering him entirely immobile.
‘Have a drink, darling, I’m sure you need one,’ Janey said, placing a glass in his hand so he had to concentrate on not having it knocked flying by one of his over-affectionate brood. ‘You’ve got to hurry, Nella, if you’re going to have time for that shower before you go out,’ she said in a bright voice, putting a hand on my arm and almost hauling me towards the door.
Tom managed to put the glass down, used both hands to free his leg and told the leg-holder in a don’t-even-think-of-disobeying-me voice to go to Mummy, then silenced the chanter by picking him up.
Janey flashed a nervous smile at Tom and burbled hurriedly on before he could ask why I was having a shower in his house rather than us
ing the facilities in the well-appointed bathroom at the cottage. ‘Naturally Robert didn’t want to be here on his own on his last evening, so he’s going out for dinner with Nella and Oscar.’ Robert looked as surprised at this news as I was. ‘They’ve got a table booked for...’ she glanced at her watch, ‘for er... eight o’clock - quite soon really, and you know what it’s like at this time of year. You can’t afford to be late or they’ll give your table to someone else.’
‘You’re leaving tomorrow?’ Tom asked, turning towards Robert, with a considerable degree of inhospitable pleasure.
‘It makes sense, you see,’ Janey carried on, unheeding. She broke off to scoop Miles up, settling him on her hip.
‘Makes sense how exactly?’ Tom asked after a few seconds when it seemed as if she’d lost the thread of what she was about to say. Probably because she didn’t know what was supposed to be coming next.
Her face went blank, then as he cleared his throat she looked around and said rapidly, ‘As Nella’s got to leave tomorrow too, she’s going with Rob and sharing the driving.’ She beamed at all of us. ‘So much better for Rob’s knee.’
Bloody hell. What in blazes do you think you’re doing, Janey? I thought furiously as Tom nodded, seeing the logic of this. Well, it was perfectly logical, it made sense in every way - except for one thing. Robert might be a lot friendlier towards me than he’d been just over a week ago, actually it would have been pretty difficult for him to have been any less friendly without risking grievous bodily harm, but if he had wanted my company over 700 miles and twelve hours of driving, he would have said so himself. And, frankly, my nerves had been rattled enough without spending most of tomorrow in a tin can with someone who’d far rather be alone. Even if by some chance he didn’t object to having me as a co-driver we had wildly different driving styles - about fifty miles an hour to be precise, Also, my being in such close contact with Robert for so long might have unexpected ramifications. What about those scores he’d said he still had to settle with me? I might fondly imagine that my own close brush with the law had wiped the slate clean, but I couldn’t be sure. It was best to play safe, let discretion be the better part of valour for once. In other words take the coward’s way out.
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