Lily stopped just short of the SUV. If looks could kill, she would’ve skewered him with a death glare.
“They’re good kids, Cullen,” she snapped. “Especially given all that they’ve been through.”
“Of course they are. I know that.”
“You have plenty of room in your house. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take them in.”
“I don’t have room in my life for four kids. It wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“But you’re doing such a good job with them. Would it really be so different than it is now? I mean right now. Look at how happy they are and she’d be able to help you out.”
The words had poured out of her as if someone had turned on the tap. Lily’s heart pounded in her chest. As she grabbed the last of the stollen loaves, taking care not to reach in when Cullen did to avoid physical contact, she knew she should stop pushing the issue.
“We never wanted kids,” he said. “That was one of the few things we did agree on.”
He really didn’t want kids? Even after spending nearly two weeks with the Thomas kids? The truth slapped her in the face. She deserved it. He’d told her this about himself how many times now?
Yet she still believed the kids would change him.
“She’s a pediatrician and she doesn’t want kids? Isn’t that against the law of everything that’s natural? Or at least against the oath she had to take as a kids’ doctor?”
He shrugged again, and she knew they’d better steer the conversation to neutral territory. Especially since he hadn’t denied the unspoken possibility of getting back together with her.
Her.
Lily hadn’t even asked her name. He hadn’t offered it. That was fine. She didn’t want to know. Lily felt sick to her stomach. But better to know now than to get in any deeper than she already was. Really, she should thank him for this.
She forced another smile as he closed the SUV’s hatchback. “I was so proud of the kids when they told me they want to donate the money they made selling the stollen to charity. And I was even more touched when I found out that you’re going to match their donation. That’s really great of you, Cullen.”
As they walked back to the building, she purposely didn’t look at him. Her heart needed more time to set after turning to jelly thanks to the news about his ex-wife. If she let him back in too soon, she risked it seeping out of her chest and spilling on the floor.
“It’s the least I can do. But really, in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing. It’s the time of year when we should be charitable. Or at least I should. I know I should be benevolent all year long, but—” He shrugged. “I get the idea that being altruistic is just your nature.”
She slanted him a glance but took care not to let her gaze linger. “Well, I’m a teacher by trade. I guess being charitable comes with the territory. But you...you’re really good with them, Cullen. They love you so much.”
There it was again. Words flowing like water. Like a babbling brook, as Josh used to say.
Josh had such a mean streak.
Still, she clamped her lips together to keep from saying anything else. She’d already used the word love.
Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Cullen roll his shoulder again. “I’m just doing right by Greg. He and Rosa were the ones who raised the kids right. I’m just continuing what they started. It’s weird, thinking that they’re gone. It makes you realize just how damn short life is. It makes you step back and take inventory of what’s important and what isn’t.”
Somehow he managed to shift the loaves he was carrying—twice as many as she held—and open the door. She made the mistake of looking him in the eye. For a second that seemed to last an eternity, his hazel eyes were filled with pain and torment and something else that she couldn’t quite define.
She looked down and stepped inside.
Oh, but he was a complicated one.
“They’re just with me until I can find a family that will take all four of them. They have to stay together. I won’t let them be broken up.”
“And you really believe you can accomplish this before the first of the year?”
He nodded resolutely. “I have Cameron Brady working on it. He’s a family-law attorney. I have every confidence in him that he will rise to the challenge and find a good place for them.”
She followed Cullen’s gaze to where the kids were inside the booth, helping Sydney and A.J. arrange the loaves they’d already brought in.
“They are great kids,” he said. “They deserve so much more than I can give them. Besides, you make it so that all I have to do is show up. You’re not always going to be here.”
His voice faltered and he cleared his throat. “I mean you won’t always be around, making everything so...right.”
Her impulse was to say, I can stay. All you have to do is ask me. But she knew the real meaning behind the urge. She bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from blurting it out. She had a career of her own. And if she—the ex-wife—moved back in...
He was right about these kids needing stability. They needed a traditional home like what they were used to, where they felt comfortable and welcomed and loved. Even though no one could ever replace their mother and father, they needed the safety and sanctuary of a home with a man and a woman who loved each other. The girls needed a mom, and George, poor George... He was in such desperate need of a father figure.
“They told me you taught them about making donations,” Cullen said. “You’re the one who is setting the good example. They said you told them about a big festival in Germany where they sell baked goods to raise money for charity. The donation was their idea, but you planted the seed.”
“Well, I think you underestimate how good you are with them—”
“Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!” The voice came from behind them. When they turned around they saw the woman who had helped George pick up the bread rushing toward them.
“I’m so happy I caught you before you left,” she said.
“We weren’t leaving,” Cullen said. “We were just going to get the final load of bread.”
She smiled as she shook her head. “Parents’ work is never done, is it? This world needs more families like you. Responsible, community-minded, raising your kids to be good citizens, too. Oh! How could I be so rude? I didn’t even introduce myself. My name is Joan Cotton. I’m the chairwoman of the Jingle Bell Ball. Have you heard of it?”
“Cullen Dunlevy,” he said. “And this is Lily.”
It didn’t escape Lily that Cullen hadn’t said her last name. Was he purposely preserving the illusion that they were married? But they’d just talked about his ex-wife.
That put things into perspective.
“Of course I’ve heard of it,” said Cullen. “The ball raises money for the New Harvest Food Bank. I’ve been to your event in the past.”
Joan clapped her hands. “Yes! Are you going this year?”
“I must confess, it’s been so hectic lately that I haven’t purchased tickets.”
Joan nodded. “As chairwoman of the ball, I like to give tickets to a handful of deserving couples. I would love for you to be my guest this year.”
She held out an envelope to Cullen, but he hesitated.
“I’m happy to purchase the tickets.” He frowned.
Lily took a step back. She’d just started to suggest that they continue on to the booth and not only lay down their load of stollen, but also relieve Sydney from child-care duties, when Joan jumped in.
“Giving away the tickets serves double duty. Not only does it raise awareness of New Harvest, but it gives a lovely, deserving couple like you a night out away from the kids. It’s just something I like to do during the holidays. Of course, if you’d rather purchase them, I’m happy to carry your check back to the offices.”
Lily braced herself for Cullen to politely refuse Joan. The best way for him to get out of this was to simply tell the woman that they not only weren’t married, but weren’t a couple, and they’d have no use for the tickets.
“Don’t worry. There will be a silent auction and plenty of other opportunities for you to donate if you wish. So, please be my guest. Take your beautiful wife to the ball. You two deserve a romantic night out.”
“May I bring you a check tomorrow?” Cullen asked.
Joan nodded eagerly.
Then he turned to Lily. “What do you say, honey? Would you be my date to the ball?”
Chapter Eight
During the week it was open, the holiday market closed at five o’clock Monday through Wednesday. The earlier hours allowed the vendors time to restock and rest up for the days of heavier shopping traffic and later hours on Thursday through Sunday.
Tonight, Wednesday, Lily had planned on getting together with Sydney, who was going to let her try on some gowns in her wardrobe that would be suitable for Lily to wear to the ball.
As a single schoolteacher on a limited budget, Lily didn’t have any formal wear in her closet. Aside from prom dresses, her wedding gown was the fanciest dress she’d ever owned—or almost owned. When the wedding fell apart, she’d given back the dress, which had been part of the prize package she’d forfeited when she and Josh called their engagement off.
She’d never attended a ball before. Despite her excitement, right now she simply couldn’t afford to spend a lot of money on a dress she’d probably wear once in her lifetime.
Once again, Sydney was coming to her rescue, playing fairy godmother to her Cinderella, Lily thought as she rang the doorbell of the sprawling Texas-ranch-style house that Sydney shared with her movie and television director husband, Miles Mercer.
“Hello, love,” Sydney said after opening the wooden front door.
“I hope you’re hungry.” Lily held out the nine-by-thirteen-inch pan of lasagna she’d put together after she and the kids got home from the market. “There’s plenty, so I hope Miles will join us. You’ll still have leftovers that might come in handy since we’ll be working late this weekend.”
Actually Lily had made a double batch of lasagna, a pan to take with her and one so that Cullen and the kids would have a nice meal when they sat down to dinner together tonight. Cooking dinner for him and the kids had never been part of the plan, but they all had to eat anyway. And Cullen always invited her to stay and eat with them. At first she’d been hesitant. Now it was becoming their routine.
She wondered what the girls would say if they knew Cullen Dunlevy had curtailed his philandering in favor of family-style dinners.
He always seemed so appreciative, and she had to admit, she loved seeing the look on his face as he enjoyed her home-cooked meals.
“Actually Miles is out of town on a shoot tonight,” she said. “So it’s just us.”
All the better. Right now Sydney was the only person who knew that Cullen was taking Lily to the ball. She’d let the others know eventually, but since the dance was nearly two weeks away, Lily didn’t see the need to raise their eyebrows. Not right away, at least. Her friends were great, but she didn’t want to hear their warnings or cautionary tales about Cullen.
“That smells delicious,” Sydney said, ushering Lily into the kitchen. “I was going to suggest we order in, but this is even better.”
Even though Sydney worked for Celebrations Inc. Catering, everyone knew she wasn’t a cook. She handled public relations for the company, of which she owned a quarter. She was just as good in the public-relations office as A.J. was in the kitchen. It was a business partnership made in heaven.
“All I have to do is warm it up for about a half hour,” Lily said.
“Help yourself to the oven,” Sydney said. “That is so not my territory. I’m lucky to have friends and a husband who cooks.”
Sydney paused and gave her a knowing stare. “I’d say a certain Dr. Studly is pretty lucky to have you. How’s that going?”
“How is what going?” Lily feigned ignorance as she punched the buttons on the oven to start it preheating.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Sydney said, hands on her hips. “The big date. The reason you’re here tonight—to look gorgeous for Prince Charming when he escorts you to the ball.”
“First of all, it’s not a big date,” Lily said. “We’re just going. As friends. Joan Cotton gave us tickets and we didn’t have the heart to refuse her. She was so nice about it.”
“Yeah, she thought you were married,” Sydney said. “I don’t recall either of you setting her straight. In fact, what I do remember is Prince Studly looking pretty smug about it. I think he has his eye on you. And, Lily...”
Sydney frowned and Lily knew what was coming before she could even finish her statement.
“Just be careful, okay?”
“I’ll be just fine. In fact, I’ll be even better if I can try on the dresses before we eat. I don’t relish the thought of trying to slip into a slinky gown after indulging in a big plate of pasta. I might get stuck. Actually you’re a lot smaller than I am. Are you sure you have something that will fit me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sydney said. “Of course I do. You have a great figure. Come on. Let’s go back to the bedroom and I’ll show you what I’ve laid out for you.”
Lily’s mind tried to take her back to the past. It tried to dredge up every insecurity she’d ever felt about her curvy figure and compound it with the very real fear that nothing Sydney had to offer would fit. She’d be embarrassed and back at square one. But she wasn’t allowing herself to go there.
Nope, worry was like paying on a debt you might never owe. She’d heard that somewhere and it had become her mantra. So she did her best to brush off the nagging doubts and followed her friend through an elegantly decorated living room, down a hardwood hallway and finally into one of the largest master suites she’d ever seen.
She’d been to Sydney and Miles’s house numerous times, but this was the first time she’d seen the master bedroom. Sydney had laid out at least a dozen gowns of various colors, cuts and levels of sparkle and bling.
As Lily took it all in, Sydney held up the arts and entertainment section of the Celebration Daily News. “Did you see the great article they did on the holiday market? There’s a picture of the kids on page eight.”
Sydney handed it to her. Lily perused the story on the first page before turning to page eight.
When she and the kids had gotten home from the market today, Lily had barely enough time to get the kids situated and the lasagnas made before Cullen got home. They’d talked for a bit—nothing dramatic or earth-shattering, just easy conversation about each of their days: his at the hospital and hers with the kids at the market—before she’d rushed to get over to Sydney’s house. She hadn’t had time to read the paper.
But there it was, a great picture of the girls smiling as Megan handed a loaf of stollen to a customer. The caption under the picture talked about how the children would donate the money they made from sales of the homemade bread to the Grace Children’s Home.
“That’s such a sweet picture,” Sydney said.
“Isn’t it? The girls will be so thrilled to see it.” She had just started to close the paper when a familiar face caught her eye and made her do a double take.
She gasped. Because there smiling up at her from the section featuring the engagement announcements was her ex-fiancé, Josh Stockett, with a pretty, petite blonde. They’d been photographed in a
posture Lily and her friends used to jokingly call the “awkward prom pose,” where the couple had their arms around each other and their free hands were intertwined. The petite blonde’s name, Lily learned after reading on a bit, was Ann-Elizabeth Hardy, daughter of Dr. Bernard and Daphne Hardy. Ann-Elizabeth—her name was hyphenated, so Lily was just sure she went by both names. Not Ann. Not Elizabeth. Certainly not Liz or Lizzy or, heaven forbid, Beth or Betsy. She was beautiful and thin with sorority-girl posture and a perfect toothy smile.
She was exactly the type Josh liked. And she was gazing up at the idiot as if he were the second coming.
Engaged.
Josh Stockett, the man whom Lily had had to goad into engagement, was finally getting married.
* * *
When Josh broke up with her, he’d originally told her he wasn’t marrying her because she was too heavy. At a size twelve, he’d told her, he didn’t want to risk getting stuck with a fatty and he’d bailed as fast as he could.
The memory made Lily’s heart ache. Not for the loss of the man she’d once thought she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but because she’d truly believed he’d loved her. Just the way she was.
She’d been traumatized.
It had taken her months to put everything into perspective. She’d never be a small woman. She loved to cook. Of course she wanted to be healthy, but she wasn’t going to weigh every ounce of food she put in her mouth and she wasn’t going to deny herself the foods she loved to cook and eat.
The truth of the matter was, Lily was comfortable in her own skin. Some women might’ve gone on a starvation diet to sculpt themselves into a so-called better version of themselves, but not Lily.
It took a while for her pride to mend, but soon she realized that Josh’s problem with her size was just a cover for a problem that ran much deeper in him. And the problem, she decided, wasn’t hers. It was his.
From that day forward, she decided she wasn’t going to starve herself or otherwise try to change herself to fit his image of the perfect woman. She was simply going to live.
Harlequin Special Edition November 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: The Maverick's Thanksgiving BabyA Celebration ChristmasDr. Daddy's Perfect Christmas Page 32
