Nora bit her lip, saddened by the pain lacing his voice.
“But I hated every time he would mention your name as if you belonged to him. Because in my mind, you were still mine.”
Nora’s heart literally ached. “We’ll always share a bond, Eli. You were my first love.”
He turned his face toward hers, shifted his body and braced a hand on either side of her hips. “You were my first love, too, Nora. A love I’m finding may have never left me.”
Before she could react or question his bombshell, his cool lips slid over hers gently, slowly, as if getting to know her all over again, as if they weren’t familiar.
Nora held on to his thick arms, trying to steady herself as his gentleness overtook her. Had he just declared his love?
Pressing her hands against his chest, she eased back. “Eli, you can’t spring things like that on me.”
His eyes met hers. “I know, but I can’t keep it inside, either, Nora. It is what it is.”
“That’s it?” She waited until another young couple walked by. “You kiss me, you say you love me, but you do nothing about it.”
“Because this point in our lives isn’t good for me to act on my feelings. I’m only here for a short time. What good would come of moving forward?”
Nora closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath and prayed for courage, prayed for surviving the heartache that would inevitably come. “Please, don’t say things to me that will only hurt. I can’t handle them.”
When Eli’s hands framed her face, Nora opened her eyes and took in his tortured look. Didn’t they both have broken hearts brought on by no one other than themselves?
“I don’t say things to hurt you. I say them because I know you feel this, too.”
Why lie? There was no getting away from this discussion or these emotions.
“I do,” she whispered. “I’ve tried to ignore the fact that every time I’m around you I’m happier. I don’t want to depend on anyone again. I can’t.”
Because in the end they all leave.
“I’m not asking you to depend on me,” he told her. “Maybe...maybe I’m asking if I can lean on you while I’m here. I need you in my life, Nora.”
“As what, Eli? Your friend...or more?”
It was naive of her to hold out hope. She swallowed.
“Are you staying?” she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
Eli closed his eyes, sighed and shook his head before lifting his lids and meeting her gaze again. “Honestly, Nora, right now I’m not sure what I’m doing. All I know is that when I’m with you I have all these feelings...”
He pushed off and turned from her. Nora wasn’t sure what to say, afraid that any words might ruin the moment, might ruin the sliver of a chance they still had. How long had she been hanging on to that sliver and not even known it?
A family walked through, the mom pushing a stroller and the dad with a little boy atop his shoulders. An ache in Nora’s chest pulled her from the moment. A family is all she’d ever wanted. A stable family, a simple home, a loving husband and kids that would cause chaos.
Eli turned back to her, took her hand and started walking. Silence settled between them and she truly had no clue what shaky ground they’d just landed on, but she had a feeling they were just at the beginning of whatever journey fate had planned for them.
Eli stopped at a vendor selling hot chocolate and got two, handing a warm, steaming cup to her.
“I’m sure the baby will love the sugar jolt,” he joked as he sipped from his cup.
Nora was about to respond when a horse and carriage went by. Smiling, Nora glanced at Eli.
“Come on,” he said, taking her free hand. “No need to give me the puppy-dog eyes.”
Nora laughed as Eli led her to the park information area. In no time they were climbing on board their very own white carriage with red velvet seats. An oversize black fur blanket awaited them and Eli was quick to settle it across their laps.
“Good evening,” their driver called over his shoulder. “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”
Eli’s arm came around her shoulders and Nora snuggled against his warm side. She would most definitely enjoy the ride. How could she feel anything but excitement and anticipation now that Eli had revealed his feelings? But apparently he waged an inner war with himself over the matter.
There was so much about this man that contradicted the life she wanted, the family she longed for.
He’d seen things she couldn’t even imagine, had lived on his own for so long. He made a life when he left here, a life that didn’t include her. Had he really reconsidered?
“I can hear you thinking,” he whispered in her ear. “Relax.”
Nora’s baby kicked and squirmed a bit, a sensation Nora never grew tired of. She placed her gloved hands over her coat and waited for more. This was the life she’d dreamed of years ago, a wintery carriage ride through the park with Eli, a family of their own...
But this family wasn’t theirs.
Nora closed her eyes and settled her head on Eli’s shoulder. How could she deny herself when this may be the second chance they both deserved?
Chapter Twelve
Nora flipped her sign to Closed and sagged back against the door. She’d sent her receptionist home early and stayed behind for the scheduled pickups and emergencies, but this was her late night and her feet were killing her.
At least her ankles hadn’t started swelling yet. At what point in the pregnancy would that blessed event take place? Thankfully the nausea had stopped a week or so ago—an early Christmas present from God.
Her belly growled and Nora knew the peanut butter and crackers she’d snacked on all day had gone directly to the baby. Flipping the lights off as she moved through the office, Nora’s mind drifted to her house where Eli would be cooking for her. She loved the one night a week he’d taken it upon himself to be her personal chef. What woman wouldn’t want that?
Milo, one of the dogs currently boarded, darted between her feet and Nora had to grab on to the wall to keep from tripping. “You silly pup. Come on in the back.”
She took him to his room where he stayed at night and gave him his favorite treat. “See you in the morning,” she told him with a kiss to his wet nose.
Nora grabbed her purse and keys, set the alarm—an insisted-upon early Christmas present from Mac and Bev—and headed out the back door. She hated leaving when it was dark, especially since the break-in, but the sun set so early in the winter, she really had little choice in the matter.
As she settled into her car, her cell rang. Cameron’s name lit up the screen.
“Hey, Cam,” she greeted as she pulled from the lot. “What’s up?”
“Just wanted to follow up with the break-in. Are you busy?”
“Actually, I just left.” She maneuvered her Jeep through the snow-lined streets. “Did you come up with anything?”
“I wanted to let you know that I have another case I’m working on and I’m pretty sure the two are tied together. I can’t tell you more, but you are safe and I seriously doubt they’ll be back.”
Worry for her friend slid through her. “You okay, Cam? You sound... I don’t know. Tired.”
“That’s exactly what Megan just told me,” he said of his best friend. His humorless laugh filled the line. “I’m fine, Nora. I just wanted to give you peace of mind. I’m trying to close this case as soon as possible, but it’s taking longer than I thought.”
“That’s what makes you an awesome chief. You take your time and cover all your bases.”
“More like other people’s bases,” he muttered.
Nora knew he protected people for a living, but she’d also heard he sometimes protected those he believed in, helping them get back on the right track. Cam wasn’t just a cop; he wa
s a man of dignity and one who genuinely cared about people.
“You headed home?” he asked.
“Yeah. Almost there.”
“Tell Eli I won’t be around for a few days.”
Her worry deepened as she turned onto her street. “Want me to tell him more?”
“No. Work-related and I can’t discuss it. I already talked to Mom and Dad, but I didn’t want him to worry. I’ll be out of commission with my cell for a while.”
“Just stay safe,” she told him as she pulled into her drive, smiling at the sight of Eli on a ladder stringing lights above her porch. “Call me when you can and let me know you’re okay.”
“I will. Love you, Nora.”
“Love you, too, Cam.”
She disconnected the call, but couldn’t help the fear she had for her friend. Even in this small town there was crime and he carried the entire weight of each incident on his shoulders. Nora knew his friend Megan worried just like they all did. But Nora had a hunch Megan’s feelings for Cameron extended beyond friendship.
Nora stepped from her car and walked toward the porch. “You cook, you decorate... Tell me again why you’re still single?”
Eli laughed, looking down from the ladder. “Because there’s only one woman I would let catch me.”
Okay, well, that wasn’t subtle.
“What made you decide to put up lights?” she asked as she pulled her coat over her ever-growing belly.
Eli slid another bracket onto her gutter and hung another strand. “I know how much you love Christmas and your house is the only naked one on the block. Besides, I think I was driving dad crazy.”
Nora laughed. “Maybe because you two are so much alike. What did you do now?”
Eli climbed down the ladder and moved it a few feet over. “He keeps quizzing me on his patients and I don’t know how many times I’ve assured him I have not driven any of them away.”
“He’s worried. He can’t help it.”
Eli threw her a look over his shoulder. “He threatened to have Mom bring him so he could sit and monitor.”
Holding back her smile, Nora shrugged. “He’s bored, Eli. He’s in the house all day, and he’s still in pain from the surgery. Maybe he should come and sit for an hour or so. Patients would love to see him and he’d feel better.”
“I’m not a damn kid,” he all but growled. “I know what I’m doing.”
Nora refused to answer his mumbling, defensive tone. Those two St. John men couldn’t be more alike...no wonder they butted heads more often than not.
“Go on in,” he called down as he hung up another clip. “I’m almost done and there’s chili on the stove. Corn bread is wrapped up in a pan.”
Nora went inside, taking in the spicy aroma of the chili. She turned her tree lights on in the living room and smiled. Next year she’d have an extra stocking hanging by the fire place, cute little “Baby’s First Christmas” ornaments on the tree and a reason to “believe” in Santa again.
There was just something about a baby that made life seem so innocent and simple.
Nora shrugged out of her coat and hung it by the door. Tugging off her gloves and hat she hung them up, too.
She’d just finished her bowl of chili when Eli came stomping up the back steps. Nora went to open the door for him and was greeted with a blast of arctic air.
“You really didn’t have to freeze just to put lights up for me, you know.”
He pulled off his black knit hat. “I was trying to get them done before you got home, but I ran late at the clinic today and then the whole dad thing.”
Nora sat her bowl in the sink and turned to lean against the counter, her arms crossed over her belly. “Did you eat?”
“Yeah, right before I went outside.”
“Oh, Cam called when I was on my way home. He’s going to be out of commission for a few days. He said he already talked to your mom and dad, but he didn’t want you worrying.”
Eli nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “He’s working on a big case. I have no clue what. Even Megan doesn’t have a clue and he tells her everything.”
Yeah, Megan was his best friend since grade school. Those two were as close as siblings, but he always confided in her before anyone else, which really worried Nora.
“He sounded so tired.”
“He’s a big boy,” Eli told her. “He’ll be fine. But whatever he’s working on is taking a toll on him.”
Crossing the room, Eli came to stand right in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “How are you doing? Is work getting too much for you?”
“Not yet,” she assured him, loving the feel of the weight of his hands. “I’m actually taking a half day tomorrow because I have a doctor’s appointment and then I’m running by my Realtor’s office to see a couple of listings she printed off for me.”
Eli frowned. “Do you love this house?”
Yes, she did. But being a single mother taking care of a home this size, the financial burden and the memories were all driving her out.
“I’ll love a different house,” she told him with a smile.
“Answer my question. Do you love this one?”
She looked directly into his eyes and nodded. “Yes.”
“Then let me help you figure out a way to stay here.”
He was asking as a friend who cared for her, so she smiled. “Fine, but I need to at least have plan B in place in case we can’t figure it out.”
“I’ll agree to that.” His warm smile spread across his face as he dropped his hands from her shoulders. “I want to come with you.”
“Which place?”
He smoothed her hair behind her ears and rubbed his hands down her arms. “The doctor’s appointment and the real estate office.”
“You already closed early the day my office got broken into. If you cut out early again your dad will most definitely set up camp there to make sure you’re doing things the right way.”
Eli laughed. “Don’t even give him the idea.”
“Listen, it’s just a regular checkup. I’m not having an ultrasound or anything.”
Eli drew his brows together and sighed. “Fine. I just hate you doing this alone.”
She reached out, wrapped her arms around his waist and settled her cheek against his warm sweatshirt. “I’m not alone. I have you and your entire family. I couldn’t be alone if I wanted to.”
His hands came up to cup her face, turning her to meet his gaze. “Is that what you want? To be alone?”
The way his husky voice filled the room seemed to make that innocent question take on a whole new meaning.
Nora shrugged. “I’ve been alone most of my life. Even when I lived with my mother she was hardly around. Then when I graduated she moved, you went into the army and your parents let me live in the apartment over your garage. I dated, but never found someone until Todd. Then he was always deployed and now...I guess I don’t know any other way.”
Eli’s strong hands stroked her face as he took another half step toward her, closing any gap that had been between them.
Nora swallowed as his dark blue eyes bore into hers. “Maybe I’m tired of being alone, too,” he murmured. “Maybe, just for tonight, we should take what we want, what we’ve been dancing around since I came back.”
Nora closed her eyes, afraid to take in the meaning of his proposal, afraid she’d want so much more than what he was offering...but more afraid he’d see just how much she wanted him.
His warm breath tickled her face, his body shifted against hers, and even with her eyes closed, she knew he was moving in to kiss her. Parting her lips, she waited until his tongue skimmed her mouth. Gentle at first, Eli took his time as he continued to hold her face between his firm hands.
Nora slid he
r arms up over his shoulders, locking her hands behind his neck and toying with the ends of his wavy hair. Her baby moved, kicked a couple times, and Eli eased back.
“She kicked me,” he muttered against her lips.
“I’m not at my most attractive state right now,” she defended.
Eli’s hands moved from her face down to cup the sides of her belly. “You’re beautiful, Nora. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever known, pregnant or not.”
She loved how his hands felt on her stomach while the baby moved around. He made her feel attractive, wanted and cherished.
Nora placed her fingers on his chest, not to push him away, but to feel the strength, the warmth, of the man she craved and ached for.
“I can’t deny I want you,” she told him. “But are you sure? I mean...”
His brows drew together. “What?”
“I’m more concerned how you’ll feel once you see me...you know.”
Shame had her dropping her head between her shoulders. Eli’s fingertips went to the hem of her scrub top and pulled it up. Then he went to work on the long-sleeved tee she still wore. Not wasting any time, he tugged it up and over her head, tossing it to the side, as well.
Nora refused to meet his gaze. How ridiculous she must look standing in her kitchen wearing black scrub bottoms, tennis shoes and a very unflattering white cotton bra that was barely containing her ever-growing chest.
When his hands slid up over her rounded stomach, Nora closed her eyes, suppressing a shudder. Chills danced across her exposed skin in the path his hands took. The tips of his fingers glided over the tops of her breasts and traveled around to the back to unhook her bra. Nora extended her arms, allowing him to remove the unwanted garment.
“Look at me,” he demanded in a firm yet soft tone. “Don’t hide from me, Nora. Ever.”
When she looked into his eyes, she saw nothing but raw desire, a need she was sure matched her own.
Harlequin Special Edition November 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: The Maverick's Thanksgiving BabyA Celebration ChristmasDr. Daddy's Perfect Christmas Page 52
