by Mark Tufo
“What the fuck are you doing?” This from above and behind me. I stopped my paint can shaking of a head.
“What?” was my less than eloquent response.
“Why are you moving your head around like you’re trying to roll dice in your skull?”
“Because, Azile, it’s the only way I can see past your confounded block on the armory door.” I steadied myself against the wall, my equilibrium was less than satisfactory at the moment.
“Interesting. So you can see past my spell then? Either I’m losing strength or you’re gaining.”
“I wouldn’t be too concerned, I feel like I’m going to throw up at any moment.”
“Where are the Lycan?” Azile had nearly blocked out all the light into the tunnel, a chill, rank wind spilled around my shoulders. I think she felt it as well, for she moved a step back, allowing more of the sun’s caress to fill in the void.
“What took you so long?” I asked as I emerged. Whatever monkey had attached itself to my psyche when I went down, alit as I came back up.
“My hair, of course. You can’t just expect me to look this gorgeous without work.” And then she got serious and pushed hard against my chest. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain myself.” I gave her a hug. There was a blush from her, not sure if she was more embarrassed or surprised with my public display of affection. It was nice to have an ally. To have people back on my side. Her anger slipped away.
“I’m glad you’re here. Xavier has Mathieu.”
There was a sharp intake of air from Bailey. “I am sorry for your loss.”
“Not yet you don’t have to be,” I told her. “He’s not dead. Xavier thinks he can somehow use Mathieu to teach his werewolves how to transform on command.”
“And when he realizes it’s not quite that easy?” Azile asked.
“Well, that’s why I’m in hot pursuit. I was hoping they’d still be here, figured I’d come in, grab a weapon or two and get him back. Unfortunately I was having a hard time here, picking Ms. Gringott’s locks.”
Azile smiled at the reference, Bailey looked confused. “How far ahead are they?”
“I was right behind them. They might have an hour on me now. I don’t know how Xavier is moving so fast. I screwed him up pretty good. Can you open the door? I’ve been fighting with a fucking toothpick for the last few hours. I’d really appreciate something with some heft and lead. And if you could wrangle up a fucking Jeep as well that would be awesome. I am getting really sick of running like I’m from Nairobi or some shit.”
“You’re in luck Mr. Talbot.” Azile waved her hand like there was a less than aggressive ladybug buzzing her head. When I looked back, the door to the armory was revealed in all its glory.
“That easy, huh?”
“That Lycan back there your handiwork?” Bailey asked.
“She was.” I was heading back down the stairs. Not having a gun in my hand felt very much like running around without pants on.
“You killed it with a spear?” She wanted to know.
“Not so much a spear as a glorified skewer,” I said happily as I gazed upon the contents of the chamber. I purposefully strode across the room and grabbed up a beautiful, wonderful, rifle, six magazines and two ammo containers. I was checking to see how I was going to carry everything and still move quickly.
“I brought horses.” Azile was in the doorframe.
“You really are pretty magnificent. I’d kiss you a couple of times but I really want to get my friend back.”
I got closer to her; I’d not been expecting the stinging slap to the side of my face.
“I’m still angry with you, Michael.”
I reached my hand up to my cheek. “I gathered that.”
“You left me. You left us.”
“In my defense, I left to stop this madness, not to leave you undefended.”
“Michael Talbot saves the world again,” she sighed.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“At this point, I think it’s a little worn out.”
“Because ‘this is the life I asked for,’” I said mockingly.
“I do not know why your life is so entangled in the fates. I have tried to divine it, yet the answers are frustratingly hidden from even my best efforts.”
“Maybe it’s best you don’t find the answers, Azile. Who knows? Maybe they are a little to the left of the white light.”
“I looked there as well.”
I shivered; seemed an appropriate response when someone tells you they’ve been peering behind the dark veil. Gotta admit I was relieved when she got zero answers from there as well. “Well, now that we’ve established that I’m sort of an enigma, can we get going?” I asked.
“I was thinking you were more like a different word starting with an ‘en’ and ending in ‘a’.”
“This have something to do with the cleansing of one’s colon?”
“It could. I am still very much upset with you.”
“Any chance you could yell at me while we’re on the trail?”
“I imagine that could be arranged.”
Bailey was directing her people to get weapons and ammunition; I was heading back to the front of the building.
“One more thing Michael!” Azile called out to me.
“What?”
“Hello, lover.” It was Lana.
“Oh come on! How much can one man be expected to take? What are you doing here?”
“Where do you think the horses came from?”
“Lana, what would actually happen if I were to take you up on your advances?”
“We could have such wonderful times. Our babies would be beyond reproach. The gods themselves would sing of their beauty.”
“I’ve got a feeling Athena wouldn’t think that way.”
“Who?”
“Never mind. Let’s get this on, then. I figure we have a good twenty or thirty minutes before Bailey’s ready to go; there’s a real secluded spot right up ahead.” I noticed Lana’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Oh don’t go getting all coy on me now.” I grabbed her hand and held tight, gently tugging her in the general direction I’d pointed.
“What are we doing Michael? Azile is not far.”
“You’ve worn me down, Lana. I must have you. I’ve fallen completely head over heels for you.” I hoped my voice didn’t sound too flat as I said the words. My tone was muted but my actions were not. I was worried this gambit might go the other way. If she called me on my bluff I was done for, I needed to end this or this game of charades would go on indefinitely. She came forward a couple of steps and when she realized I wasn’t stopping she began to lean back, her heels trying to dig in slightly from the angle she was at. “Nothing gets me more worked up than war. I’m not sure if a half-vamp can procreate, but I’m going to give it the old college try. Know what I’m saying, baby?” I turned to wink at her. A smirk crossed her face. I think she was on to me. Shit. I was either about to cross the line or be granted amnesty. With the hand that wasn’t dragging her to the bushes I was fumbling with the front of my pants.
“What...what are you doing?”
“Lana, I know you’re young, but I’ve got to imagine at some point in your life someone told you how babies are made and where they come from right?”
“Right here? Right now?” She was tugging back on the hand I would not release.
“It’s time we consummate this relationship.” I’d inadvertently undone the top button to my pants. I was about to have all of me whistling in the breeze real soon. “Azile will be pretty mad at me and my guess is that she’ll turn you into a goat. But who cares? I think we should have babies until you can no longer have babies. We could maybe have thirty-five to forty kids by the time you’re all worn out, and the beauty of it is I’ll never grow old, so I’ll be able to care for them even when you’re old and tired. Oh, it will be wonderful.” We were now at the edge
of the clearing and I was walking somewhat bow-legged trying to keep my pants from falling all the way down.
“Perhaps we should wait.” She’d finally been able to dig her heels deep into the dirt.
“I know I have all the time in the world, but why waste another second of it?”
“Michael, we are ready for war now—you do not have time to fornicate!” Bailey called over from the right. At least, fifty people were now looking at us. Lana was finally able to pull back as I feigned surprise.
“Don’t worry, I’ll find us some time,” I told Lana as I smacked her retreating ass. I silently mouthed the words thank you to Bailey; she gave me the finger. “That’s not really the appropriate gesture for approval,” I told her.
“I know what it means.”
“So I take it me and you are pretty much okay then?”
“I promise that if you don’t try to kill me I will not try to kill you.”
“That’s something, I suppose.”
“I have talked at length with Azile on our way out here. She gave me great insight into the personal workings of vampires and of yourself. There are some things you cannot control and for the others, the answer is simply that you are Michael Talbot.”
“You make it sound more like an insult than an explanation.”
“That was how I intended it.”
“I suppose I can live with that.”
“You will have to.” And with that she went back to tending to her men.
I could see Azile coming my way. “I have dealt with more estrogen in the last five minutes than any man should be subject to on any particular day,” I said quietly.
“I can hear you.”
“Can we just hurry up and go get Mathieu? I’m feeling mighty outnumbered. I need reinforcements.”
“What did you say to Lana? She appears to have seen an apparition.”
“I was going to give her exactly what she’s been asking for.”
“You were?” She arched her eyebrows.
“You know what I mean.”
“I am not sure that I do, Michael. Perhaps you should fill me in on exactly your intentions.”
“We are ready to go,” Bailey said.
“That woman has already saved my life twice today and it’s early. I wonder if I’ll have to tally this up in the Tynes archives. By my reckoning, I figure I’m still up a dozen or so life-saving events.”
“BT might protest the count.”
“I truly wish he were here to do so.”
“Mount up!” Bailey ordered. “And I don’t want to hear a word from you, Talbot, about being afraid of horses, including your belief that they are just overgrown cats with hooves.”
“I’m thinking he is afraid,” Azile laughed. And just like that we were back in pursuit. Lana, thankfully, wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t ride anywhere within a hundred yards. I could live with that, it would be even better if she just went home. Don’t get me wrong, in a pinch she was one of the most deadly people in this group. But the fact remained she was an eighteen-year-old girl and things could still go horribly wrong in an instant. She deserved the right to enjoy a long and fruitful life devoid of this misery, all this misery, including me.
I was of a mind to run my horse into the ground and most likely would have, if not for Azile reaching out on occasion to have me slow down. Yes, we were moving faster than I could on my own, but we certainly weren’t tearing up the earth. What I wouldn’t do to hear the throaty roar of a V8 engine. Xavier would probably shit his pants (if he wore any) if I came up on his six in a speeding Camaro. Riding a horse was a lonely, solitary source of individual torture. The constant bouncing up and down chaffed parts of me that were not designed for that type of abuse. Talking was out of the question as the noise from so many horses moving in unison was nearly deafening. It was even impossible to just zone out and think upon other things. The beasts somehow knew when you were being inattentive and would purposefully wander close to a low laying branch or perhaps stop short, trying to pitch you to the front. You could practically hear them laughing at you. I was more than a little convinced that cats and horses had been created in the same place. Both were thought to be helpful to man, but I was not one of the ones that had been fooled, not for a minute.
“Michael, we will have to stop soon.” This from Bailey.
“And if I say no?”
“Then you will have a dead horse and will have to ride with Azile going forward. And if you think riding solo is uncomfortable, wait until you go double.”
“Fucking realists.”
“I think she may be more of a pragmatist.” Azile was leading her horse to a clearing that the scouts had found earlier for just this purpose.
I got off that horse like I was an eighty-year-old man with bad hips. I would have sworn I’d dislocated the things and the fiery burn I felt on the inside of my thighs had enough heat to start a small brush fire. I was walking like I had a bowling ball shoved up my ass—not that I’d know from personal experience—I’m just making an assumption of how one with a large sphere pushed up their rectum might travel about. Azile, on the other hand, well, basically everyone else that dismounted was fine, as if they’d been out for a nice summer stroll along the beach. Oggie was no worse for the wear, maybe because he would get off from time to time and lope along next to us before getting back in the saddle. I had a special rig in the back, looked more like a dog bed than the medieval torture device I was sitting in. I thought about sticking the reins in his mouth and trading places with him on more than one occasion.
“Perhaps if you didn’t fight the animal so much when you rode, you wouldn’t be so stiff,” Azile said as she patted my ass on her way by.
“This funny to you?” She waved over her shoulder.
“It is for me.” Bailey had come up beside me. “Where has your little shadow gone?” She was referring to Lana.
“She wasn’t quite ready to get what she wanted.”
“Is that supposed to make sense?” She was looking questioningly at me.
“Makes perfect sense to me. With Lana out of the way there’s a little more room for you.”
“Are you attempting to push me away as well?”
“You’d be safer, but alas, no,” I told her honestly.
“I thought we would see fresher signs of the Lycan,” she said seriously. “If anything, I believe that they are pulling farther away.”
“How in the hell is that possible? I mean, I can see the Lycan racing ahead but they still have to take into account the werewolves, and as people, they can only go so far so fast.”
“I do not know how, but my best guess is that they are nearly a half day ahead of us now.”
This came as a complete shock to me. I was more than half convinced that we would catch up at the very next turn.
“Twelve hours?” A rhetorical question. She didn’t know—no one did. They had found some alternate means of travel, otherwise we would be stumbling upon the dead and dying littering the pathway.
“We will catch them,” Bailey assured me. I don’t know how she figured that. I’d been pursuing them non-stop and I was losing ground. I felt like I was traveling in one of Dante’s circles of hell.
There were all sorts of reasons her logic didn’t carry much weight. One problem was we were a light army so we were carrying only the essentials. Food and water would become problematic soon enough. How much ground would we lose as we hunted? And what was Xavier up to? Why was he pushing so hard to get away? Was he running his troops into the ground? Did he really think he could extract Mathieu’s secrets? Every minute that passed when Xavier realized that was not something he could retrieve from my friend I was convinced that he would make a deadly statement. It would be another failing on my part. Another spirit to haunt my overtaxed psyche, where it was already as crowded as the beer and bratwurst line at a Packers game. Even my attempt at sarcastic humor could do little to pierce the emotional exhaustion and depression that threatened to consume me.
Xavier had already taken so much from me and he had his eyes fixed on taking everything else. I was going to kill him. That thought would drive me to the ends of the earth, but would it be too little too late? A great fire had been started at the center of camp, many smaller ones dotted the landscape all around us. Sitting was one of the last things I wanted to do. One, because my ass felt like it had been paddled by an angry Bible thumper, and two, because I just wanted to get going again, although that would entail getting back up on my very own persecution and progress device, (also known as Satan’s spawn, or in more accurate human terms, horse). No wonder people had once made glue out of the fucking things.
Azile was already at the fire, staring into it, probably discerning the events for the next millennia. I recognized a couple of the other Talbotons as well. Bailey had been talking to them more and more as those that were left did their best to try and regroup, maybe make another ruling council. It would be difficult to rebuild without having a home base to do so. With Talboton now vacated, how many would begin to advocate that they go back and start over? Could I blame them? Fuck that, yeah I could. This bastard had run roughshod over their home in less than one night. We were on a mission of payback for the devastation he had wrought upon us all. If that entailed chasing him to the ends of the goddamned earth then that is what it meant! I was getting myself worked up to do battle and I was the only one in on the fight.
“Sit, Michael. You look like you want to bite the heads off of nails.” It was Azile and as far as I could tell she wasn’t even looking at me.
“If I never have to put weight on that part of me again I could die a happy man.”
“I could make it better.”
“You’re going to do magic on my ass? Put a spell on it maybe? Sounds like the premise for a bad porno movie.”
She laughed, it was a genuine sound and it lifted my sagging heart almost immediately.
