She exhaled as the memory brought desire blooming inside her. She’d never felt so close to anyone, never thought she’d love someone as powerfully as she loved Vega, that just the memory of his touch could flush her skin with longing.
She would never want anyone else. She could never love anyone else, not after him. There was only room enough in her heart for Vega alone. She imagined the powerful muscles of his abdomen at her back instead of the marble wall of the tub, imagined his legs wrapped around her. She slid her hands over her own breasts, over the flesh of her stomach, over the outside of her thighs and the curves of her hips, and imagined they were his hands. And then she touched herself, slipped her fingers between her legs and imagined they were his, sought out the secret places of her sex and gasped into the steamy bath chamber, imagining that she could hear his gasps as well.
Through the pain and the soreness, her body answered the longing in her heart. Soon enough she was lifting her hips out of the water, back arched against the tub, as she fingered herself and thought of Vega. Pictured him between her thighs as she plunged a second and third finger inside herself and pretended it was his cock.
Not pretended. Imagined. She was going to make love to him again. She would have him again, and he would have her. But in the moment she needed thoughts of him to help her. It was this, or think of the blood and the pain, the terror of fighting in the arena. It was pleasure or shame over having let that Jiayi warrior die painfully. It was buck her hips against her own hand or weep.
She came hard, shuddering in the water, whispering Vega’s name.
Then she turned her cheek to the cool marble of the lip of the tub, breath calming, heartbeat slowing, as the orgasm eased through her. She gripped the edge of the tub and did cry, then, but she didn’t weep. Just a few tears, shed for the circumstances of it all, for those who died, for the chance at freedom she’d given up because she loved something more than herself, finally. She loved someone more than herself.
Eventually the hot water cooled, and Alaina got out of the tub. She dried herself and dressed in another gauzy gown, since that was all the closet had to offer. She was relieved to find that there was no clostrata for her to wear this time, though. As she stood in the middle of the suite rubbing a towel over her hair, the doors opened and Lennai walked in. Alaina lowered the towel and immediately sank to her knees in front of the domina, too aware of how much she had to have pissed her off at the games.
“Well, you’ve made quite a spectacle of yourself,” Lennai said, walking past Alaina and to the sideboard. She selected a glass and a decanter and began pouring herself a drink instead of waiting for Alaina to do it for her. “That was a surprising thing you did.”
“I did what I had to, domina,” Alaina said quietly.
“Oh, did you?” Lennai said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Did you have to jump into the arena and fight? Did you have to make a fool of House Ka’ani, a house slave defeating their fighters?”
“I had to save Vega,” Alaina said. “I’m sorry. I had to.”
Lennai was quiet a moment. Then Alaina heard the thunk of the decanter hitting the sideboard. “Stand up. I’m tired of talking to the top of your head.”
Alaina got to her feet, leaving the damp towel on the floor, and risked look into Lennai’s face. The domina looked right back at her.
“My brother wants to sell Vega,” she said simply. “I’m going to let him, in short order. So that there will be peace between us for awhile. Not until Vega is healed, of course. But then, since he has fallen, I’ve no reason to keep him.”
“Please,” Alaina started, shaking her head, but Lennai waved her hand and cut her off.
“Don’t bother,” she said curtly. “I’ve already purchased a pointless slave for you.”
“Yfia’s here? Can I see her?”
“She’s in the slaves quarters, getting settled. And no, not until we sort out what’s to be done with you.”
“Please don’t sell Vega,” Alaina begged softly.
“I don’t have a choice anymore,” Lennai replied. “He lost, Alaina. He lost. I only pay for champions.”
“If you sell him, sell me with him.”
Lennai laughed darkly. “I knew it. I knew you were in love with him. I tried to deny it for so long, but I’m glad now, at least, we can speak plainly about it all. I, too, have feelings for him. But Alaina, you’ve proven yourself to be a fighter, a survivor. And Vega will only drag you down from here.”
“I don’t care,” Alaina insisted. “I want to be with him.”
“Then you’re an idiot,” Lennai sighed. “And you’ll be dead soon enough, I guess.”
Alaina didn’t know what to make of that, so she said nothing. She did know her future was in Lennai’s hands. She just needed Lennai to loosen her grip enough that Alaina could slip through her fingers and take Vega with her.
Lennai sipped at her drink, leaning against the sideboard as she looked Alaina over, expression thoughtful.
“I’ll give you the same deal I gave Rua,” she finally said.
Alaina blinked at her, frowning. “I don’t understand.”
“Technically speaking, you fought on Vega’s behalf in that last fight. By winning, you put yourself at the top of the lists right beneath Rua. Who has now been freed, and is gone. That means you will still be the Arena champion at the next games.”
Alaina’s eyes widened; she understood. “You want me to fight again.”
Lennai smiled sharply. “I’m giving you the opportunity to fight again, Alaina. And, if you win, I will set you free, just as I did Rua. But just as with Rua, you must fight and you must be champion, at the top of the lists, at the end of the games. Do you understand?”
“And Vega?” Alaina asked.
Lennai shrugged. “His fate is out of my hands. But I’m giving you a chance to secure yours.”
Alaina thought that if she could win, if she could fight and earn her freedom, then maybe she could just buy Vega when it was over. The winner’s purse was held in trust for the cursu who won it. She would have won a purse today at the games, and if she won another, perhaps it would be enough. She would find a way to make it enough.
She nodded. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
Lennai set down her glass. “Good. The next games are in three days.”
Alaina’s blood went cold. “Three days?”
“Yes. And, since I want you to succeed and bring glory to my house, I will allow Master Dyhar to train you. But only at night, when he doesn’t have duties to the other cursii in the barracks.”
“But I’m not a fighter,” Alaina protested. “That isn’t enough time.”
Lennai walked to the door, turning to look at her over her shoulder. “Well, that’s all the time you have.”
Then she left, and Alaina wondered how she was possibly going to survive this. She was pretty sure that the only things that saved her in the arena were dumb luck and her own terror. Fighting in an actual game, with no element of surprise and no Rua to instruct her, she knew she didn’t stand a chance.
Chapter Forty
It was the middle of the night, but Vega came awake when a single overhead light in the small room in the barracks flickered on. He opened his eyes, looking up at it. It flickered off, then on again, and out of the corner of his eye, Vega saw a light down the corridor do the same. He sat up, wincing at the pain in his chest and side, and threw his legs over the edge of the cot. Once he’d made it to his feet, he shuffled over to Bathari’s cot and gave his friend a shake.
“Hmph, what?” Bathari mumbled, rousing.
“I think Dyhar wants us,” Vega whispered. “He’s using the lights. Come on.”
Bathari got up from the cot and together they hobbled their way down the dark barracks corridor, following the flickering lights. All the other cursii were asleep at this hour, and the lights should have been off until the timer turned them on for the next solar. But as Bathari and Vega shuff
led along, feet ahead of them lights would flicker on and then go out again, leading them along. Eventually, Vega realized the lights led them out to the training yard, and he moved a little more quickly until they were passing through the archway leading to the sands where they practiced for the games.
And there, waiting for them in the middle of the yard, stood Alaina, Dyhar, and a lovely Jiayi woman. Bathari made a throttled noise beside him, and suddenly he was running past Vega and straight to the Jiayi woman. In an impossibly romantic display, the two fell into each other’s arms crying, smiling, and kissing, and sank to the sands that way. Vega smiled, because it was a gorgeous thing to see two people so happy. And then he turned to Alaina, who was already coming to him.
She stepped carefully into his arms and he hugged her close, breathing into her hair, as relief and love and dread all tangled through him. Then she was kissing him, and thoughts of everything else fled for a moment, the whole universe narrowing down to her lips on his.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“You almost died for me, Alaina,” he said, voice hoarse. “Please don’t ever do that again.”
“You almost died on your own,” she said, and again he saw the color of storm clouds in her gray eyes. “And I’m going to fight for us both.”
“Ladies,” Dyhar spoke up, clearing his throat. “And gentlemen. We have to get this done quickly, and then I have to teach our donara how to actually fight instead of flailing about with a wine jug.”
Vega looked at the Master sharply. “What?”
“I’ve made a deal with Lennai,” Alaina explained. “If I win the next games, I’m free.”
“But—” Vega’s heart started to pound.
“And if you are wed to her now,” Dyhar said. “She will be able to take you with her.”
“But you’re a healer,” Vega said, shaking his head, as he looked down into Alaina’s face. “You can’t fight. You can’t.”
“But I’m going to,” Alaina replied. “I’m sorry. I have to, for us. Don’t you see?”
Bathari and Yfia had gotten back to their feet but stood with their arms around each other, listening.
Vega looked at Dyhar. “She doesn’t stand a chance.”
“That’s why I need this time to train her,” Dyhar said simply. And he pulled two lengths of leather cord from his belt.
He went to Bathari and Yfia first, and Bathari let go of Yfia so Dyhar could tie the cord about her waist. Then Dyhar came over to Alaina, gesturing with the second cord. Vega let go of her and Alaina watched, confusedly, as Dyhar tied the cord around her waist.
“This is the wedding ceremony,” Vega explained, and he had to smile despite it all, because it was his wedding ceremony. No matter what else happened, they would be bound together for eternity.
“Since neither one of you has a father present,” Dyhar said. “I shall act the role myself.”
Alaina laughed softly. “Works for me.”
Dyhar took her by the cord and drew her away from Vega, and then he took Yfia by the cord and drew her away from Bathari, bringing both women to stand before him.
“I’m sorry that this must be hasty,” he said to them. “And I’m sorry that there are not more festive options. But you are both beautiful women, and the men here love you very deeply. That will have to be enough.”
“It’s more than enough,” Alaina said and she looked at Vega, and he saw so much love in her eyes that all his pain and worry for her evaporated in the moment.
They could all be put to death for this if they were caught in the middle of it. Dyhar for officiating, and the rest of them for being wed without the approval of their masters. Vega didn’t care. Once it was done, it could not be sundered, no matter what Lennai or Atticon did or said or wanted. It was final. Binding. Forever.
Dyhar beckoned Vega and Bathari forward, and they came to stand behind their future wives.
“Yfia and Alaina,” Dyhar said, in his most official tone. It made Vega smile even more. “You will say the words, and your husbands will reply.”
Alaina looked questioningly at Yfia, who just smiled and nodded.
“When and where you are husband,” Yfia said, looking at Bathari, “then and there I am wife.”
Alaina looked at Vega and said, “When and where you are husband, then and there I am wife.”
Vega’s heart was so full, he thought it might burst.
As Bathari murmured the words back to Yfia, Vega cleared his throat and looked into Alaina’s eyes. “When and where you are wife, then and there I am husband.”
He saw tears fill her eyes, and for once they were happy tears.
Dyhar pulled the knife from his belt and held it out to Vega. Vega took it, curling his fingers around the cord at her waist, and drew her close. Then he cut the cord with the knife, and it was done. The leather cord fell from her waist, a coil in his hands, and he pulled Alaina against his chest and kissed her deeply. Desire and happiness throbbed in him, a sweet, glorious ache. He wanted to push her to the sands and make love to her right there. But he knew there was no time for that now.
He heard Dyhar speak the finishing words. “And so it is done.” He heard Bathari laugh, heard Yfia crying as well. So many tears were shed on the sands in agony and pain. Perhaps this was its own kind of blessing for those who trained in House Chara. Some happy tears. Some joyous tears. To counter the curse of loss in this yard.
He kissed Alaina until he couldn’t breathe and then it broke, and she put her forehead to his and told him she loved him again, and Vega didn’t want to let her go yet. He didn’t want to let her go ever, but not now, not yet.
“I’m sorry,” Dyhar finally said. “But it’s time. Vega and Bathari, you must return to the barracks. Yfia must return to the slave quarters. And Alaina and I must get to work.”
Alaina looked at him in dismay. “No wedding night?”
Dyhar sighed. “Not this night, I’m afraid. Soon. I can arrange it again soon, but for now we’ve been here too long as it is, and Alaina needs to train.”
Alaina grimaced, but Vega kissed her again, doing his best to kiss the grimace from her lips. It worked a little, and she sighed as they parted.
“I love you,” he told her softly. “Train hard. We’ll see each other again soon. Wife.”
At that, she finally smiled. “Definitely. Husband.”
Vega tied the length of cord around her wrist. “This is proof we are married. Never take it off. When we leave this place, I’ll get you a ring.”
“I don’t need a ring,” Alaina said.
“I’ll get you one anyway,” Vega chuckled.
They watched Bathari and Yfia kiss goodbye, and then Bathari had to let go of his wife as well. Together they turned, heading back into the barracks, both looking again and again back at the women they loved. Vega tried not to think that it might be the last time he saw Alaina. He believed in her too much for that. But walking away from her was always the worst moment of his life, over and over again.
Chapter Forty-One
Alaina had pictured her wedding when she was a little girl, like most little girls did. At the time, it had been full of fluffy white gowns and flowers, but as she’d gotten older she’d let go of the hope of ever finding anyone who would love her as completely as she wanted to be loved. So while other girls might have been disappointed by the simplicity, the secrecy, and the brevity of Alaina’s wedding, Alaina could only think of it as perfect. Perfect, because she married Vega and nothing else mattered. The only way that it could have been more perfect was if it had ended in a wedding night, but she understood that such things would have to wait.
It was still hard, watching Vega and Bathari go back into the barracks.
And it was hard watching Yfia go back in with Nyssa, who would take her back to the slaves quarters. Alaina had figured Nyssa out, at last. It was just about the money. She’d had to offer the girl half her champion purse, but marrying Vega mea
nt she wouldn’t have to spend that money to buy him. It was worth the investment, she figured. And Nyssa was loyal so long as there was cash in it for her.
Then it was just Master Dyhar, the sands, Alaina, and the darkness of the practice yard.
And Dyhar was a hard master. The sands were even harder.
He spent hours just beating Alaina to the ground. Making her get up again, and then beating her down again. It made the aches and pains of the day even worse. He split her lip, cut into her forehead just above her eyebrow. After working her with his fists, he decided that she would do best with small knives since she herself was smaller. Like Bathari, he said, she had to be faster than her opponent, because without the element of surprise she’d had today, she’d never have been able to overpower anyone. Dyhar made her do knife drills until the bell toned, signaling the start of a new solar, and the lights in the fake sky above the practice yard started to warm and brighten.
“The domina has said you are allowed to spend the days before the games in your suite,” Dyhar said, as he hauled Alaina up off the sands and pushed her towards the training yard’s exit. “Go sleep.”
Alaina didn’t even have the strength left to say thank you.
She just slogged her way to the lift that went from the barracks to the upper palace. There were guards waiting for her when she got off the lift, and she could barely keep up with them as they walked her back to her suite. Once in the suite, she went to the bed and faceplanted on it, still in her dress from the wedding, now covered in sand and her blood. She was asleep in seconds.
Several hours later, while it was still day, slaves arrived to pull her out of the bed. She hurt in places she didn’t know could hurt. The slaves bathed her this time, scrubbing her down and washing her hair in the ion stall instead of the tub. Then they laid her back in the bed, and the orange-scaled slave who Alaina liked so much climbed up, straddling her, and started rubbing some kind of oil into her skin, working her way from her feet all the way up her body. It was weird, at first, but then suddenly all her muscles began to relax. And Everything stopped hurting so much.
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