“I’m sorry,” I said. “I never asked you how you were doing.”
“It’s all right. We’ve been a little busy.” He laughed. “It’s helpful just to be around you and Ava.” He paused. “You’re not going to appreciate me for saying this, but you could have gotten caught up in some bad things too.”
I looked down at Achaz. The dead cavalry captain wore a look of sorrow under his mask of death. I couldn’t imagine raping and murdering anyone. “No.”
“You’re telling me you weren’t ready to make some decisions you would have later regretted considering how things were when you got home?”
I took a deep breath. I had been ready to let a lot of people die after that first eruption. In fact, several had before Nason and Zadok convinced me to do something to help. I doubted that guilt would ever leave me.
“I guess a willingness not to do something good is sometimes as bad as a willingness to do something evil.”
“Maybe. The people in town will never know of the good Achaz did in his past. They’ll never give him the credit he deserves for the thousands of lives he saved in the war. It’s sad how much more weight the bad things we do carry over the good.” He paused. “Or maybe, it’s the most recent decisions that hold the most weight.”
“You going to be all right?”
“I’m good. You’ve got work to do. I won’t keep you.”
I gave Dekar’s shoulder a squeeze and smiled. “Keep an eye out for Sivan returning while I check in with everyone else.”
He gestured. “Start by the other tailor’s place.”
“Gadiel’s? Why?”
“Nason’s there. His wife died in the fighting.”
My shoulders hunched, and I whistled out a breath. “Gadiel’s place? She was stationed on top of the theater before.”
“She was worried about Nason when the fighting got bad and left her post.”
“Molak’s balls. I’ll head over there now.”
* * *
Nason held his wife in his lap. He sat with his back against a post that had once supported the roof of Gadiel’s front porch. It now supported only Nason and the grief he bore. The rest of the tailor’s shop had collapsed after the second eruption. Zadok stood beside Nason, hand on his shoulder.
No tears ran down Nason’s cheeks, but anguish could be seen in his every move. The way he stroked his wife’s blank face. The way he supported her lifeless form in his lap. The way he refused to take his eyes off the woman he loved.
My own grief struck me hard. Despite the sadness of the scene, I envied Nason for having this time. It was time I never got with Lasha.
Zadok and Nason looked up at my approach. Nason’s eyes spoke volumes of the rage inside of him. I imagined it was a similar look I possessed when Zadok gave me the news about Lasha.
He shifted the grip on his wife and I saw that blood covered his other hand and forearm. The blood wasn’t his. A broken arrow lay on the ground not far from a hole in his wife’s side. Nason had tried to stop the bleeding. Seeing that, I was glad his kids were still being watched over by Damaris. They didn’t need to see their parents like this.
“I’m so sorry, Nason.”
He bobbed his head. “You warned us this could happen.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m less sorry.”
“I know. It’s my fault anyway. I thought we’d make it out all right, and I’d help others grieve their losses. I didn’t think it would happen to my family.” He looked down. “Yet, here I sit.” The first hints of a sob cracked in his throat. “I don’t want to move because I know this is the last time I’ll be able to hold her. Gods, Tyrus, what am I going to do?” The tears came hard.
I squatted and wrapped him in a hug. One of his arms squeezed me tight. The other supported his wife.
“I know you want me to tell you how to go on living without her, but I can’t. I’m still trying to figure that out for myself after Lasha. However, you will go on. You’ve got three young kids that need their father even more now. Focus on them. It will keep you going until you can figure the rest out.”
His body trembled. “What am I supposed to even tell the kids?”
“The truth.” I glanced at Zadok, then returned my attention back to Nason. “Their mother was a brave woman who loved them so much that she fought and died so that they could live.”
“I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
I forced him to meet my eyes. “We’ll get through this together then.”
He bounced his head absently.
I said nothing more as Nason cried. It took everything I had not to join in. I wanted to stay and sit with him, but I couldn’t. Too many demands pulled at me. As it was, between Dekar’s conversation and Nason’s loss, I was taking far too long to get a complete feel of our situation following the fight.
I encouraged Zadok to stay with Nason. I hated putting it on a young boy to comfort a grown man after the loss of his wife, but one thing my son had plenty to spare was heart. He gave me a stern nod of understanding far older than twelve years.
I left the two in search of Ava.
* * *
By the time I reached the feed store, it was completely in flames. The bucket line had been abandoned. Two townspeople stacked and organized the supplies they had managed to save, while others dispersed to complete tasks Ava put them on. Those sent off to other duties walked by me in a daze, barely acknowledging my presence.
I stepped over a small fissure in the ground and paused while considering the town from a broader perspective. Death, destruction, pain, and sorrow all covered in an orange haze.
I hoped it would be the townspeople’s last glimpse of the life I had lived for ten years, but instinct told me it wouldn’t be.
Soot covered Ava’s leathers, and sweat her face. Her breath came in gasps as she bent over with hands on her knees. Myra approached her from a different direction after having gone off to fetch a skin of water. Ava grabbed the skin quickly and drank with greed. Water ran down her chin and neck.
I smiled at Myra. She gave me a nod in return. I opened my mouth to ask a question, hoping it might elicit some conversation while Ava continued to drink. However, Ava finished before I had the chance.
She heaved a deep breath. “Gods, that was awful.”
“Which part?”
“All of it. The fighting, the running around, carting off the wounded, the fire, the bucket line. All without sorcery. The Geneshans can all go to hell for finding that stupid artifact. Their ancestors too for creating it.”
“Seems like Ao should get some of the blame right? She’s the goddess of sorcery.”
She grunted. “Works for me. Put her at the front of the line so I can watch her burn first.”
Despite the hellish aftermath of the battle, Ava’s tirade brought a chuckle up from the back of my throat.
After Nason, I desperately needed it.
I’d like to say Ava’s time in the army had caused her to speak so coarsely, but it had really only reinforced it. Growing up, the other boys my age with sisters all wished for a brother instead. Not me. My sister did just about everything any boy could do, often better.
Like me, Ava didn’t care which of the gods she cursed. In fact, if she had heard of a god or goddess, chances were she had cursed them at some point. Not quite as passionately as I had, but she could get her swears in when the mood struck her. Case in point, I’ve never met another mage who would even dare tell the goddess of sorcery, the mother of all gods, to take the first place in line to hell.
I glanced over to Myra who wore a rare grin. The cursing of gods didn’t matter to her in the least. I guess a love of blasphemy ran in our family.
“You did good,” I said to Ava.
She shrugged. “I guess. Still, I feel awful. Tired. Twisted an ankle too, I think.”
“Then take a break and get some rest.”
Ava glanced around at the destruction of Denu Creek. Her expression darkened. “Got a lot to do before I worr
y about that. If this place looked bad before, it’s appalling now.”
“Taking a few minutes to catch your breath isn’t going to make that great of a difference in the scheme of things. Sivan’s making sure the raiders are gone for good. If they aren’t, I want you to be at your best. So, sit down and rest. That’s an order.”
“Aye, Sergeant.” She gave me a sarcastic salute, turned, shuffled off to the shade, and plopped against an old wagon.
I grunted.
“What’s wrong?” asked Myra.
“Your aunt didn’t put up much of a fight. She’s more tired than she’s letting on.” I paused. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“Thanks. Same for you.”
An awkward silence followed.
“All right. Well, I still need to check on others. I’ll come back later.”
“Yeah, sure. No rush. I’ll keep an eye on Aunt Ava.”
No rush? I suppressed a sigh.
* * *
With the wounded and dead cleared from Main Street, Ira barked orders, gesturing emphatically. A half dozen people worked alongside him. Some re-fortified damaged barricades. Others added more hazards to the path leading to the barricades. Sharpened stakes faced outward on the edge of exposed ditches or natural fissures from the second eruption.
Most of the people working with Ira were who I expected, hard men formerly committed to Jareb. However, Reuma stood out amongst them as she came into view carrying an armload of wood. The former prostitute dropped the wood beside the edge of a ditch, pulled out a knife, and began sharpening the ends.
Dressed in a much more practical manner, she was proof that looks were deceiving.
“Looking good,” I said to Ira.
He turned, with a grin that, given the circumstances, would have seemed out of place on anyone else. “I doubt they’ll come again given the way they broke, but if they do, we’ll be ready.”
I pointed to Reuma. “How’d she do?”
He snorted. “I had my doubts when you first assigned her to me, but she more than held her own. She’s crafty. Knows how to use what she’s got. Earned a lot of respect from others too. Makes me glad I never mistreated a whore before. I could have been in for a surprise had I.”
“You seem to be in a surprisingly good mood.”
He wiped his brow. “Not good so much as comfortable, I guess. The world may have changed on us, Ty, but making war is always the same. I don’t know how to live in a new world. A world of war and fighting, though, like this,” he said gesturing, “I think I’ll manage.”
“That’s a sobering thought.”
“Am I wrong?”
I thought about how comfortable I had been directing the town in preparation for the attack. Even during the assault, I was never too rattled, slipping into a familiar skin I had worn too many times to shed. The life I had lived for ten years wasn’t quite ready to let go of me it seemed.
“No. Just sobering.”
He spat. “We’re just about done here. What else do you want me working on?”
I gestured to a side street filled with the bodies of raiders. “Make sure we’ve gathered up all the bows and recover as many arrows as possible. We didn’t have many to begin with. Give everyone capable of drawing a bow their own weapon. If the raiders come back, I don’t plan on luring them into anything. We’ll try to pick them off from a distance.”
“You got it.”
Ira didn’t move though. He probably knew I wasn’t quite done. Probably something about the way I kept staring off down the road from whence the raiders left.
“When Sivan’s report is what I expect, we need to get ready to leave.”
“Everyone?” he asked, eyes drifting over to people in town working.
“Whoever is interested in coming. Zadok already put that out there. Hard to take it back.”
“I thought you might say that.”
“You don’t agree?”
He shrugged. “Not my place. You’re the leader.”
“We’re not in the army anymore, Ira. You don’t have to do what I say.”
“I didn’t have to then. I could have just gutted you and thrown you in the latrine. I chose to follow you, just like I choose to follow you now.”
I stared off at the bend in the road. “We’ll need to do something about the bodies we used for our welcome party before we head out.”
“Why?”
“People won’t be keen on leaving them like that. Especially since I never really told them exactly what I used them for.”
“You think they’d care considering it saved most of their lives?”
“You know how people are.”
He spat. “Yeah. They usually aren’t worth much.”
I watched Ava walk to Nason. She squatted beside him and wrapped him a hug. Zadok joined in and all three embraced in a moment of mourning.
My chest tightened. There was a lot of truth to what Ira said. For the most part, people weren’t worth much. I had seen plenty enough examples of poor behavior in the army and more since leaving. However, it was good to know that despite the poor behavior people easily slipped into, we could still show kindness when it mattered most.
CHAPTER 9
Sivan returned with news that the raiders showed no signs of mounting another assault. However, that didn’t stop me from taking further advantage of the old tailor’s skills as a scout. I had him shuffling in and out of town, checking all the major ways of approach through the evening and into the night, resting only when I had Ira take his place.
By morning, I felt confident we were in the clear as the raiders had broken camp and moved away from Denu Creek.
While I ran Ira and Sivan ragged scouting, I helped bind the wounds of the injured, eased the passing of the dying, and offered a shoulder to those mourning.
In the meantime, I set Dekar in charge of organizing those planning to leave Denu Creek with us. People piled supplies into the backs of wagons and rounded up any animal they could find. We readied the animals in the best shape for travel. The rest we slaughtered and salted for the journey.
Those who had chosen to stay behind watched the activity with confusion as if they couldn’t believe we really planned to leave. It didn’t take a genius to see there’d be yet another confrontation with those citizens before we made our exit out of town. A part of me wanted to see to that situation before it happened, but after the battle with the raiders and everything that came afterward, I just didn’t have it in me to be that proactive. I wasn’t even sure how I would prevent it anyway. Besides, too many other items occupied my list of things that needed doing.
One of those things was keeping an eye on Jareb. He and a few of his buddies slid into town once more, holding private conversations with small groups of townsfolk who for some reason still listened to his nonsense. He didn’t try strong-arming anyone into listening, nor did he go after any of my family or friends so I didn’t have any reason to get involved with him yet.
Zadok wanted to help Dekar, but I convinced him to look after Nason’s kids while my childhood friend grieved his wife. Ava spent most of her free time trying to comfort Nason. I checked on her once, asking if we needed to trade places, but she said she had little energy to do much else other than listen.
It was a peculiar thing seeing Nason rest his head on my sister’s shoulder. By his own admission he said he once had a crush on her. Odd that a childhood crush would be there to see you through the death of the person you had planned to spend your life with.
CHAPTER 10
Ira and Sivan rode into town just as the murky orange sunlight of dawn squirmed its way through the thick haze. They kicked up a cloud of dust in their wake.
I met them on foot. “Well?”
Both men climbed down gingerly from their tired mounts, Sivan more so than Ira.
“No sign of them in any direction,” said Sivan. Bags rested heavily under the old man’s eyes.
It was a wonder he could stand considering how much I
had pushed him over the last day and a half.
Unfortunately, that’s just the way things were. Any commander would always want their best person at work to ensure the job got done right. That worked out well for the person giving orders as it increased the likelihood of success. It didn’t usually work out so well for the best workers. Regardless of how much praise and reward a commander heaped upon them, it was easy for them to feel overworked and underappreciated. I wonder if that was why Balak never made much of an effort to show appreciation to anyone. It simply wasn’t worth his time since he figured in the end it would never be enough.
Thankfully, Sivan showed no signs of bitterness. I had to be careful not to work him so much I caused them.
“Not even a single scout of their own,” added Ira while rubbing a dirty hand over a sweaty face, leaving behind a brown streak of grime.
“How would you know that?”
“By myself, I might not. But the old man is good. We rode some together before splitting off. He picked out signs I didn’t even know were there. I’d reckon he’d give Hamath a run for his money.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. Hamath had been one of the best scouts in the army. If I hadn’t made such a fuss about needing him in my unit, General Balak would have pulled him to take fuller advantage of his talents. We eventually compromised by having Hamath train the scouts for the Turine army in between missions assigned to my unit.
I turned back to Sivan. “You look exhausted.”
He smiled. “I am.”
“Hand off your mounts. Then get a bite to eat. I’ll see Dekar clears off a spot in the back of one of the wagons for you to rest while we travel. Ira, I’ll see you get a chance to rest a bit later.”
I was waiting for the typical complaint from Ira about why he had to wait to get his rest, and how I overlooked him again. He didn’t.
He did pause briefly before leaving. Nothing more. I guessed he saw how tired I was too and knew even the best of jokes or most outrageous of complaints would be wasted.
“Tyrus!”
Mayor Rezub hustled toward me. I gave him a half-hearted wave as I took a few steps forward.
Wayward Soldiers Page 9
