Jacob looked up and caught her watching him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He smiled. “Am I so handsome you can’t take your eyes off me?”
“Oh yes—you always were.”
He put down the accounts and came over to sit down beside her. Putting his arm around her, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re probably planning something for me to do—buttering me up for something that I don’t want to do.”
“Why, I never do that.”
Jacob laughed. “Yes you do. You do it all the time. What is it now?”
Rachel hesitated, and Jacob picked up on it right away. “Is there something wrong?” he asked with surprise. “You can tell me anything, you know.”
“Anything?”
“Why, of course.”
“Suppose I were planning to run off with another man.”
“Who would you run off with?”
“Oh, that handsome tentmaker that lives in the village.”
“You’d be sick of him in a week,” Jacob said, grinning. “Come, now. What is it?”
“I have some news for you.” Rachel looked up, and he saw that there was joy in her eyes. “We’re going to have another baby, Jacob.”
For a moment Jacob could not move. He had assumed Rachel was past the age of bearing children. He gaped at her, and she laughed at his expression. “You look like a sheep,” she said. Reaching up, she put her hand on his cheek. “I hope it’ll be a son.”
“Another son who’ll be ours,” Jacob said. He hugged her, and she saw that he was delighted. “How long have you known?”
“Not too long. I wanted to be sure.”
“Well, this is good news,” Jacob said, beaming. He got up and paced back and forth. “I’ll have to start getting ready. Raising a boy is an important matter.”
“Well, he won’t be here this week.”
“I know, but I like to prepare for things.”
Rachel was happy because Jacob was happy. They talked for a long time; then he got up and said, “I must go tell people.”
“Wait a minute. There’s one more thing.”
“What is it?”
Rachel hesitated. “I should have told you this a long time ago, but I didn’t. You remember when we left my father’s house and he came after us. He was looking for his idols.”
“Yes.” Jacob’s face turned into a grimace. “The old fool said I’d stolen them. As if I would steal such a thing!”
Rachel licked her lips and said, “I took them, Jacob.”
“What!”
“I was afraid for him to keep them. They were so horrible. They were what caused me to be so ill—to lose my mind for a time. I took them so he wouldn’t have them.”
Jacob stared at Rachel. He had a clear memory of the encounter he’d had with Laban, especially when he had shouted, “What would I want with your idols? Let him that has taken them die!”
The words echoed in Jacob’s mind, and he tried to keep the fear he felt from showing on his face. He had heard about curses all of his life—in fact, he had seen them work. He would have given everything he owned to take those words back! He saw that Rachel was watching him strangely, and he quickly shrugged his shoulders. “Well, that was a long time ago, and you were thinking of your father.”
“You’re not angry?”
“How could I be angry with you?” He came over, bent down, and kissed her, then said, “Don’t let this worry you. Don’t let anything worry you. You just bring our child into the world. That’s your job for now.” He would have left the tent, but at that moment Tersa came in. Jacob turned and asked, “What is it, Tersa?” He saw that she was agitated and immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s the mistress. She’s gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?” Jacob demanded.
“She said she was going for a visit to her uncle’s camp.”
Jacob turned. “Did you know anything about this, Rachel?”
“Why, no. Not a thing. Tersa, when did she leave?”
“Very early this morning.”
Jacob shook his head. “Did she take anybody with her?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
An alarm went off in Jacob’s mind. “That’s a long day’s journey through wild country. She shouldn’t have done it. I’m going after her.”
“No,” Rachel cried. “Zebulun and Issachar are in the camp. Send them.”
“We’ll all three go. We’ll spread out in different directions. Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll find her.”
“Come back and tell me as soon as you do. I’ll be worried.”
“Yes, I will.” Jacob left the tent and immediately went to look for Issachar and Zebulun. He found them working at the furnace with Demetrius. “Issachar, I want you and Zebulun to go out after Dinah. She left early this morning to visit Deborah.”
“By herself?” Issachar asked, surprise washing across his face.
“Yes!”
Zebulun shook his head. “That’s bad country, Father. What possessed her to go off by herself?”
“I have no idea. She’s been doing so much better lately.”
Issachar said, “We’d better go mounted and take water.”
“Yes, and we’d better start now,” Jacob said.
Demetrius said nothing, but as soon as the three had left, his mind worked rapidly. He did not know that country himself, but the words of Jacob indicated it was no place for a young woman to be out alone. Determined to help Dinah too, he went looking for Tersa and found her scraping a hide.
“What’s this about Dinah going out by herself, Tersa?” He listened as the woman explained it and questioned her closely. “Did she go on foot?”
“No, she rode that donkey she likes so much.”
Demetrius asked a few more questions, then walked away. He was accustomed to making quick decisions at sea, but this was different. His first impulse was to rush out into the desert and start calling her name, but he knew that would be useless. He paced back and forth for a time and then a plan began to form in his mind. He made his way through the camp out to where a small herd of cattle were being watched over by a man called Olam.
“Hello, Demetrius. What are you doing out here?”
Olam was a big man with a cheerful expression, but when he saw the look on Demetrius’s face, he demanded, “What’s the matter?”
“It’s Dinah. She’s gone off by herself to visit her cousin Deborah.”
Olam whistled a low note and shook his head. “By herself, you say?”
“Yes. She went off alone. Olam, they say you’re the best tracker in this part of the world. She rode that little donkey she’s so fond of. I want you to come with me and see if you can track that thing. We’ve got to find her.”
Olam looked at the cattle and shook his head. “We’ll have to get someone to watch these cows.”
“Beoni will do it. Come on. I want to get started.”
The two got some food and water bags together, and Demetrius asked, “Should we ride or walk?”
“You can’t track on top of a camel. You have to stay on the ground. It’s faster that way in the long run.”
“All right. Go as fast as you can. I’ll be right with you.”
The two men left camp, and Olam picked up the tracks of the donkey almost immediately. “She’s headed right into that wild country, all right.”
“Come on. We’ve got to hurry,” Demetrius said, and the two men hurried on.
Dinah slumped down in the shadows of a rock. She had tied up the donkey, which she called Noisy because of the startling noises the animal made, especially when he was hungry or thirsty. She was filled with fear, for she had become totally lost and would be forced to spend the night in this wild land. With trembling hands, she picked up her water bag and drained the last few drops out onto her parched tongue. There were water holes in the desert, and the men knew where they were, but she had not seen one.
The sun was low in the sky, and night w
as coming on. She had expected to be at the camp of her uncle late in the day, but somehow she had taken a wrong turn. Now the heat seemed to press down upon her, even though it was growing cooler as night came on. She sat there and wanted more than anything else to break out in tears, but that would be useless. She felt stupid and wondered how she could have even thought of trying to take such a trip by herself.
“They’ll be looking for me,” she muttered and licked her lips, which were as dry as the dust beneath her feet. “They’ll find me. I know they will.”
She was so weary that she leaned her head back against the rock and, without meaning to, dozed off. She woke up with a start and saw that night had gathered all around her. The blackness was oppressive, pushing down upon her, squeezing her, and the shadows seemed to move. She heard small stirrings and rustlings around her, and finally she got up to go to Noisy. She stopped dead still when she saw that the animal was gone. “Noisy!” she cried out. “Noisy, where are you?”
Fear rushed through her veins. “I should have tied him more tightly,” she whispered. “Maybe he’ll come back.” She called again and again, but the animal did not return. The immense distances stretching out before her were frightening. Overhead, the stars were hidden by clouds and there was no moon. Groping her way back to the rock, she sat down and placed her back against it. Thoughts crossed her mind like the fluttering of wild birds. She doubled up her legs, placed her arms across them, and buried her eyes on her forearms. She trembled at the night sounds, which came more clearly now. The howls of a wild dog seemed very close. She knew they traveled in packs and could pull down a full-grown cow, and a shiver went through her. She tried to make herself appear small, but she knew the wild dogs had a keen scent. She had heard the shepherds talking about how dogs could track down lambs or ewes that had wandered off from the herd simply by their sense of smell.
She began to weep as terror filled her at the brooding menace surrounding her in the darkness. Finally she began to pray. She had prayed before, or tried to, but it had never meant much to her. Now she called out, “O God of my father, Jacob, hear your handmaid, I beg you! Preserve me and save me from the wild animals. Bring someone to find me!”
The prayer brought her a measure of peace, but she longed for morning light.
She was startled at a noise and jumped up to stare wide-eyed in that direction. She had no weapon and knew that it would be useless to run. The sound came closer, and she could not tell what it was. Finally she cried out, “Go away! Leave me alone!”
Total silence followed, and she pressed her hands against her breast, calling out wildly for God’s protection.
She saw a bulky shadow approach, and she feared it was a bear. But then she heard a voice calling her name! It was Demetrius, and he was suddenly there in front of her! She fell against him. Her mouth was so dry, and she was trembling so violently she could not speak. His arms were around her, and she held him tightly as if he would run away. She pressed her face into his chest and knew that tears were running down her cheeks.
“It’s all right,” Demetrius said, gently stroking her hair. “We’re here now. You’ll be all right.” He lifted his voice and said, “Olam, let’s get a fire going here.”
“All right.”
“Do you have any water?” she whispered.
“Of course.” Demetrius took the water bag from his shoulder and held it. She opened it wide and allowed the stream to run into her mouth and spill onto her face and down her neck. It was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.
“Not too much, now. Just little sips. Come, sit over here. Everything’s all right.”
Dinah would not let him go. She pulled him down next to her and clung to him while Olam got a fire started. He went off muttering, “Got to find more wood.”
The amber-orange cone of light from the small fire broke the velvet density of the night. The two of them sat close together, and Dinah could not help holding tight to Demetrius’s robe. She knew he would not run away, but she still pressed ever closer to him.
The familiar smell of woodsmoke calmed her, and she gradually stopped trembling.
“Why did you go off by yourself, Dinah?”
Dinah had been thinking about this, and now she had no hesitation about what she knew she must say. She turned to him and said, “You’ve been so good to me, Demetrius, and the other night you asked me if…if I cared for you.” She reached up and put her hand on his cheek. “You must know I care for you, Demetrius! I think I have for a long time.” She hesitated and then went on, “But I was afraid of what…of what…”
He saw she could not finish and said, “That’s all over. We’ll never mention it again. I forbid you to do so.”
“Yes, Demetrius,” she said and there was gladness in her voice. “I never will.”
“You don’t have to be afraid, Dinah, because you’ll always have me. You’ll marry me, and we’ll go to my home. My parents will love you. We’ll have children, and we’ll bring them back for your parents to see. All of this will happen.”
Dinah listened as he spoke on, and a great warmth began to grow within her. She knew what it was now to love a man without selfishness, and she reached up and pulled his face around. When he lowered his head and kissed her, she knew somehow that she had passed into womanhood. She would never again be the selfish, thoughtless girl she had been. “I love you, Demetrius. I want to be your wife more than anything.”
Demetrius held her tightly and after a time said, “There is one detail that will keep us from marrying.”
“No, don’t say that!” She hesitated and then said, “What is it?”
“I’m a slave. I belong to you.”
“No,” Dinah cried out, “I belong to you, Demetrius. I always will.”
Olam stepped into the light of the small fire and looked at the two, his arms loaded down with chunks of wood and sticks. He began to pile them on the fire and noticed that the girl and her slave were clinging to each other, paying him no heed whatsoever. He built up the fire until it flickered upward, reaching for the sky, then shook his head. What’s all this about? Her father will give her a good caning, and that’ll cure her. He looked over at the two and saw that they were lost to him and to the world. Despite the incongruity of the situation, it gave him a good feeling, and he laughed deep in his chest as he piled more wood on the fire.
Chapter 36
A shadow fell across Bilhah, and she looked up from the stone she was using to grind grain. She smiled at once, saying, “Hello, Reuben. I thought you had gone with the other men to the flocks.”
“I did, but I came back.” Reuben knelt down beside her and, reaching over, took the round rock Bilhah held in her hand. “Let me do this for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Reuben smiled and pulled the grinding stone before him. His hands were so large that the stone looked very small. “Pour some of that grain in here,” he said.
Bilhah reached into the large pot, scooped out some grain, and poured it onto the hollowed out stone. “This is woman’s work,” she said.
“I don’t see why it should be.” Reuben took the round rock in his hand and began to crush the grains. With a few turns of his strong hand, the grain was mashed into smaller fragments. “Is that fine enough?”
“No, not quite.”
Reuben continued to grind while Bilhah sat beside him, scooping out the crushed flour and adding more whole grain.
“There ought to be a better way to grind grain than this,” Reuben observed. “Somebody ought to invent something.”
“I wish they would. It seems like I’ve spent half my life doing this kind of work.” She held out her hands and looked at them ruefully. “It makes the hands so rough.”
“Let me see.” Reuben pulled Bilhah’s hand toward himself. He rubbed the surface with his thumb and observed, “Not rough like mine. As a matter of fact, I’ve always thought you have pretty hands.”
Bilhah grew flustered. She was
aware of the strength of Reuben, who was by far the biggest and most powerful of Jacob’s sons. She glanced around to see if anyone was watching, then whispered, “You shouldn’t be holding my hand, Reuben.”
Reuben gave her a startled look and then flushed. “I suppose I shouldn’t.” He released her hand and continued to grind the grain silently.
Bilhah attempted to make conversation. She had always known that Reuben was attracted to her, but she now saw something disturbing in his eyes. A faint flush came to her face, and she rebuked herself inwardly.
When the day’s grinding was finished, Bilhah’s eyes swept the camp and she said, “Oh my. Look at that.”
Reuben’s eyes followed to where she indicated across the camp, and he saw Dinah and Demetrius laughing together. He was holding her arm, and she was gazing up at him.
“They’re having a good time, aren’t they?”
“Yes. Dinah’s so different.”
“I wonder what happened? She hasn’t been the same since Demetrius brought her back from that crazy trip she tried to make. She’s like her old self again.”
“She’s in love,” Bilhah said simply.
Reuben gave her an incredulous look. “In love with Demetrius?”
“Why, of course. Can’t you see it? All you have to do is look at her.”
“But he’s a slave!”
Bilhah smiled and shook her head. “Do you think that matters when a woman loves a man?”
“Why, of course it does!”
Bilhah had already reached her own conclusions about Dinah and Demetrius. She felt a sudden pang for Reuben, for he was such a simple man. He had never married, although he was the oldest of the boys and had had many chances. She studied his blunt face as he sat watching Demetrius and Dinah. Finally she said, “When a woman loves a man, it doesn’t matter what he is.”
The Gate of Heaven Page 31
