by PE Kavanagh
“Okay, ladies. Put me to work. What can I do?”
Leni put her hand on her hip and turned straight to Ramona. “Ramona, dear, please tell your fancy chef boyfriend he is not allowed in here. I don’t want him upstaging me.”
Both Ramona and Lucas began stuttering over themselves.
“Oh, we’re not-”
“I don’t mind-”
“I wouldn’t think of-”
“It’s no problem-”
The lovely older woman turned her head from one to the other, back and forth. “I think both of you need to leave my kitchen. I can’t have all this craziness around the food. Now shoo!”
Startled by Leni’s tone, Ramona chuckled and dropped the vegetables.
Lucas put his hands up and started backing out of the kitchen. “Okay, okay, I’m leaving.”
“But Leni,” Ramona responded, “it’s not fair that you should do all the cooking for us. We can help. We’d love to.”
She wagged her finger at both of them. “No! Your father requested this specific meal - it’s his favorite - and only I know how to make it. So you will have to busy yourselves with something else.” She pursed her lips to hide a smile. “Anyway, there will be plenty of work to do cleaning up after dinner.” She winked.
Lucas wrapped his arm around Ramona’s waist and led her out of the kitchen and into the sitting area.
The sound of muted drums underneath a lilting voice emanated from the kitchen. Leni must have put on some music. It was lovely.
Lucas pulled her in and held their bodies together, a gentle beat creating a sway. “Will you dance with me?”
She reached around his neck and lay her head on his chest. “I’d love to.”
Moving only enough to stay with the music, Ramona relaxed in his arms. The silliness of it, dancing in her father’s sitting room, to music they could barely hear, was nothing compared to the tenderness of it. He moved her, he held her, he hummed into her hair.
“So, I guess you’re staying for family dinner.”
He jerked both of their bodies to a stop. “I don’t have to, Mo. I’m not trying to intrude. I’d love to spend some time with your dad, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. I can excuse myself if you don’t-”
She squeezed him tighter. “I’d like you to stay.”
His chest softened. “I was hoping you’d say that. Whatever Leni’s making is going to be epic. Seriously.”
“Oh, really?” She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “That’s why you want to stay? Brazilian food?”
“That’s just a bonus. We both know why I’m here.”
He touched his lips to hers. What started out as a gentle kiss grew to a crash of mouths and a flurry of hands. Ramona pulled away, breathless. It was too weird to be making out with him in the middle of her father’s house. Like some ridiculous time-travel age-switching TV movie.
Something heavy clanged on the stovetop. She snuggled back into his arms.
“I’m feeling… happy. Really happy,” he said.
She pressed her lips to his neck. “Tell me more.”
“I’m generally a happy person. But this, with you, is something else entirely. It’s like happy squared. Happy stuffed in a grilled cheese sandwich.”
She closed her eyes, wanting to paint that moment into her permanent memories. Such a simple thing, but it had never made so much sense as right then. “I want you to be happy, Lucas.”
“Thanks. I appreciate you saying that.”
The muted sounds from the kitchen shifted to a country beat, a fast strumming guitar wafting over them. Leni had interesting taste in music.
Ramona reluctantly pulled out of their embrace. “I need to change. I’ve been wearing these clothes since last night.”
“Well, mostly not wearing those clothes.” His left eyebrow perked up.
“Okay, then, Mr. Happy, I’ll be right back.”
She arrived at her messy room, pulled off her clothes and deposited them in the ever-expanding mound in the corner. She rummaged through her suitcase, the choices slim. A light blue blouse over a white peasant skirt would have to do.
Happiness. Had she ever thought of herself in those terms? Probably not. She was a driven person, a decisive person, maybe even a demanding person. But a happy person? It had never crossed her mind to use that trait to define herself. Maybe that’s what sat in the middle of all those intense emotions she’d been feeling that week. From desire to guilt, anger to ecstasy, confusion to clarity. Batted around like a tennis ball. Monkey mind, as her yoga teacher would say. But right in the middle, if she let herself be there, was this sweet, simple satisfaction. Maybe she should have listened more to all those exhortations to enjoy the moment.
* * *
Ramona plopped onto the couch next to Lucas and took his hand.
He ran his other hand over hers. “You look lovely.”
Why did each of his compliments make her feel like a blushing schoolgirl? “Thanks.”
“Where’s the Con-man?”
She frowned, remembering her brother’s admonition to stay away from Lucas. “He’ll be here. Late, I assume.”
“More exploratory meetings?”
“Yup. I think he’s actually going to run for office. All the advisors are telling him it’s feasible. Sounds impossible to me. A young, inexperienced upstart running against the beloved incumbent. And why would he want to? Makes no sense.” She shook her head.
“He’s not just an upstart. He’s a Barrett. That’s gold in this state. And he’s got hugely powerful allies-”
“Like your father.”
“Yes, like my father. But many more. I’m really proud of him. Senator Connor Barrett. Doesn’t that sound great?”
She couldn’t share in the enjoyment. “I’m not thrilled. You know how I feel about all of this.” Her dorky brother was stepping back into the dirty family business.
She dropped her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes, wondering what it was going to take to talk Connor out of this foolish idea.
“Hey! What’s up, people?”
At her brother’s voice, Ramona bolted upright, pulling her hand out of Lucas’. “Connor!”
“Hey, Con-man.”
“Hey, Lu-ser.”
Ramona rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure if you guys got the memo, but you’re grown men. You don’t have to use those childish names anymore.”
“Oh, really Mowgli?” her brother added.
Both men laughed at her.
“Well, I’m not calling myself Mowgli.” She stood up and gave her brother a hug. “Anyway, nice to see you.”
“Smells amazing in here. Where’s Dad?”
“Still napping, I think.” Thank goodness her father hadn’t witnessed what had just taken place. “Why don’t you go wake him up?”
Connor strode down the hallway toward their father’s room.
Ramona exhaled relief at the ease of interacting with her brother. He hadn’t appeared to suspect anything. One look at Lucas, however, brought concern front and center. “What’s up?”
His expression soured. “Did you tell your brother anything? About us?”
She slowly nodded. He sprung to his feet. “He might not understand.”
“He doesn’t. But that makes two of us.”
“Baby, I’ll be able to tell you everything. I just need a little more time.”
God, how she wanted to believe him.
* * *
Lucas and Connor pushed their chairs back from the table and rubbed their bellies in unison, like twins. Ramona turned from one to the other and then to her father, beaming at Leni. Those three men formed the triangle of home and family and love. She stood, noticing the fullness in her belly as well. Dinner was delicious, but she remembered their promise to take care of cleaning up.
Lucas hopped up and picked up a plate in each hand. He nodded at Ramona. “Let’s do this.”
They marched into the kitchen, where Lucas opened the dishwasher, and Ramo
na turned on the faucet. She flicked her finger under the stream, waiting for the water to heat up enough to rinse the plates. Lucas held a plate in midair.
“Were you just looking at my ass?”
His face erupted into a wide grin. “You caught me. I was remembering something…”
He slid the plate into an open slot in the dishwasher, wiped his hands on his jeans, gripped her shoulders and pressed her body against the sink and his lips to hers. Her still wet hands wove through his hair. It felt as if the steam rising up behind them was being created by their bodies.
“What the fuck?”
Lucas flew off of her and they both stared at Connor, fuming in the doorway.
“Con, don’t freak out,” Ramona said.
He ignored his sister and glared at Lucas. “Listen, man, I can’t figure out what’s going on with you, and you won’t tell me. Fine. But I won’t let you fuck with my sister. This is the kind of bullshit our families would pull.”
Lucas took one step toward him. “I’m not fucking with her. I love her. Always have. Always will.”
If Ramona hadn’t already been pressed against the kitchen counter and cabinets, she would most certainly have fallen several steps back. Her fingers gripped the edge of the counter to still the quake in her body.
Lucas put his arm out, reaching for his friend. “You know that, Con.”
Connor shook his head as if he was trying to dislodge something. “What I know is that Abigail Langley thinks you’re going to marry her in a few weeks.”
“It’s not…”
Both Ramona and Connor pitched forward, awaiting his next words. None came.
Connor raised his arm and pointed toward the front door. “You need to go, Luc.”
Lucas turned to Ramona and nodded, then strode through the kitchen. She heard him say goodbye to her father and Leni, then leave.
She was still gripping the counter when her brother freed her hands. “You didn’t have to do that, Con.”
“We swore we would never be like our parents. Remember that, Mo? This… this is something out of their playbook. I just can’t have it.”
She exhaled, sense coming back into her hands and her mind. “You’re mad at him.”
“I’m furious. I can’t believe he would hide something this big from me. He’s like my brother. We don’t keep secrets, much less something this important. And you… Have you been sneaking around all week? I thought we agreed it was going to end.”
Her whole body drooped. “I’m sorry. I lost my bearings. He’s… We’re… I forgot that we’re not those people. I’m not that kind of person.”
Connor rubbed the back of his neck. “He said he loved you, Mo. What are you going to do about that?”
She wasn’t going to forget that anytime soon. “I don’t know. But I’ll figure something out.” She turned back to the sink and picked up a plate. “Don’t worry.”
* * *
For the remainder of the evening, everyone skillfully pretended that nothing strange or bad had happened. The meal was as incredible as expected, and it was wonderful to see her father so happy. Leni treated him like a king, which he deserved.
Most of the conversation revolved around Connor. Him being Mayor was innocuous enough, but Senator meant being in the thick of it. The whole grubby game of politics. And she hoped to never be around that again. Unfortunately, her brother had caught the bug and didn’t appear to be letting it go. At least it had given everyone else something else to think about. Too bad it left a very unpleasant taste in her mouth.
By the time Ramona slipped into bed, the path forward with Lucas had started to emerge. A few changes to her plans for the rest of the week clarified them even more. It was about time that decisive Ramona stepped up to the plate.
She almost didn’t answer the phone when she saw Lucas’ name flash across the screen, but curiosity got the best of her. It would be a test of her resolve.
“Hey.”
“Mo.”
She listened to him breathe through the crystal clear line. “What’s up, Lucas?”
He exhaled. “I don’t know what to say about today. I didn’t mean to ruin your family dinner. It was never my intention to-”
“You didn’t ruin it.”
“Are you angry with me, too?” His suffering crawled through the phone line and wrapped itself around her.
“I’m not angry. But I can’t do this. It’s not who I want to be.”
“It’s not what it seems, Mo. I wish-”
“I hear what you’re saying, but until I know what’s going on, I can’t continue. You have to understand.”
“What about what I said? About how I feel?”
She couldn’t respond. All those words he’d said had been ringing in her head all night, and she desperately wanted them to stop.
“Maybe I can come by tomorrow, before we go to the benefit. We can talk.”
“I’m going with Tyler. He’s on his way back into town.”
“No, Ramona. Please don’t do this. I promise you, it can all be explained.”
“Okay, then explain.” She counted to ten. And then ten again, her heart breaking with every round.
“I told you-”
“That’s my minimum requirement, Lucas. If you can’t tell me what’s really going on, I don’t want anything else.”
The quiet hush of his long breaths filled the phone line.
“I see. Well, then, goodnight.” She touched the red dot and put the phone down.
* * *
After tossing and turning for most of the night, visions of Lucas’ wedding intermingling with his professions of love to her, Ramona gave up trying to sleep. She padded out to the kitchen and was surprised to see her father already sitting at the table.
“Dad, what are you doing up so early?”
“Good morning, pumpkin. Leni had an early shift, so I just got up with her.”
She looked at his dark eyes and drawn expression. “Why don’t you go back to bed? Get some more rest?”
“Agh, all I do is rest. I’m tired of resting.”
They both laughed. “I don’t think that’s a thing, Dad.”
“It is now.”
“How about I make us some coffee?”
“That sounds perfect.”
She could hardly find her way around the kitchen, which had been reorganized by Leni, but she did know how to access the all-important coffee-making supplies. The coffeemaker began its bubbling while she watched the blinking lights of the small red clock.
“I heard what happened last night.”
She spun around to face her father. “What?”
“I heard what happened between you and your brother. And Lucas.”
She swallowed, afraid and embarrassed at the same time. “I’m sorry, Dad. That was completely inappropriate, I know…”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t surprised. I knew something was going on.”
This was likely the most humiliating moment she’d had with her father since the dreaded birds and bees talk. “I don’t know what to say.”
He waved her over to him, then wrapped his thin hand around hers. She looked down at the veins and bones so evident underneath his loose skin. “I’m ashamed of what I did. It’s wrong.”
“It’s complicated, that I can agree with. I’m not so sure about wrong.”
Her eyes opened wide to make sure those words had come out of her father’s mouth. Sure, he was no moral authority, but he had always had a strong sense of keeping appearances. “I’m surprised to hear you say that, Dad.”
His head lolled to the side. “Love is a different game than anything else we do. We can’t pick who we love or when it appears for us. I think life is too short to give those moments away.”
“He’s engaged to someone else.”
He shrugged again. “I’m an old man. But I hear things. And I know things. What’s clear to me is that he’s telling the truth about always having loved you. And he’s telling a lie about the
engagement. I don’t know why, but you and I both know that in this town that sort of behavior is pretty normal.”
“But we’re not in the game. He’s not playing politics.”
“Maybe his fiancée is.”
A small beep pulled her attention to the coffeemaker. It took all her willpower to still the tremble in her hands as she poured the coffee into two colorful mugs.
She’d never considered that this scheme might have been driven by Abigail. Not that she had any idea what the scheme was. The whole thing was indecipherable.
* * *
Her father wrapped his hands around the warm mug and smiled at her. “Your mother was the love of my life. I didn’t think I would survive her leaving me. Not that I blamed her.”
Ramona swallowed a gulp of the too hot coffee, uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation.
“I was resigned to be alone. I mean, who was going to love this dried-up drunk?”
“Don’t say that, Dad.”
“But it’s true. And then the most amazing thing happened.” His eyes brightened. “This gorgeous woman, who’d always been extra nice to me, even in my worst days in the hospital, fell in love with me. I mean, I thought I was the last person on the planet to deserve another chance. After all I’d done. But I got one.”
Her eyes filled with tears. She’d never had this intimate a conversation with her father and to see him speak so honestly warmed her heart. “Leni is wonderful. I love the two of you together. It makes me happy, Dad.”
“Yes, me too.” He grinned. “But my point is that love is like magic. It doesn’t follow the rules or predictable patterns. It just comes when it comes. Leni was my second chance. I think Lucas is yours.”
“But how? It doesn’t make sense.”
“That’s the problem, pumpkin. You’re trying to make it make sense.”
She wiped a tear away.
“I always wondered what would have happened if you’d stayed here. If your mother hadn’t had to take you kids away. I always thought you and Lucas would have gotten married young and had a bunch of babies by now. But seeing you together now, as adults, I’m starting to doubt my assumption. As kids, I don’t think you were ready for how big it would be. But I think you’re ready now.”
