“Don’t you consider anything but work fun? Where do your dates take you?”
“I haven’t had much time for dating recently.”
“Because you let your work crowd out any social life.”
“Not true. I manage to fit in a social life. I was even in love once a couple of years back.”
“What happened?”
“He was an attorney. We went up against each other in a case. I won. He couldn’t accept it. I finally realized he could never really accept me.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Not really. He wasn’t the marrying kind of man, anyway. Our relationship could never have led to the kind of commitment I’d want, the kind that includes marriage and children. No point in continuing down a dead-end road. Hey, I think I’m getting the hang of this.”
She was, too. Despite all her protests and denials about physical capacity, her balance proved excellent and she did quite well. Soon Damian settled himself in his own kayak and paddled alongside. He kept them on a straight path across a shallow end of the lake, since her turning still needed some work and he wanted to build up her confidence first.
It was a lovely afternoon, one of those rare but perfect seventy-degree summer days in Seattle, when tourists got sucked into the illusion that the cool, clear, clean skies could be had all year long and made the mistake of contacting real-estate agents.
Perhaps because the perfect weather was so rare, this was Damian’s favorite view of Lake Union, beneath a blinding sun, with the distant hum of speedboats, and dotted with canoes and kayaks and sleepy white sailboats.
Damian loved the feeling of freedom and solitude he got from gliding through the water in the one-person craft. It was alone with the rhythmic paddling that he felt most in touch with the world and with himself. It was alone with the breeze clearing out the clutter of life’s trivia that he always felt most in control.
But he was glad he wasn’t alone today. The surprise and pleasure that had erupted on Kay’s face when she had kept her balance, the eagerness with which she now paddled beside him whisked away any need he had for solitude.
There was a flush to her cheeks that had never been there before. A very becoming flush. This was all new and exciting for her, and he was finding the pleasure she was deriving from it more than infectious.
“Do you do this every Sunday?” she asked.
“Every morning,” he answered. “It’s a perfect workout for mind and body.”
Her voice raised to be heard over a powerboat coming too near. “You were out here this morning?”
“At dawn. It’s always the best time.”
“You go kayaking at dawn? Every morning? Even when it’s raining? Snowing?”
He found himself having to raise his voice, too, as the annoyingly loud boat engine came closer. “Rain and snow aren’t a problem. Although a head wind of more than twenty knots can prove troublesome. The kayak originated along some of the coldest coasts of the world precisely because it can be used in most any kind of weather.”
“Well, I don’t know about when it’s raining, but beneath the sun it’s certainly...”
Damian frowned in irritation as the now far-too-loud speedboat engine drowned out the rest of Kay’s sentence. He stopped paddling to turn around, intending to wave off the idiot behind the wheel, who obviously wasn’t watching where he was going.
But Damian’s wave did not deter the driver of the speedboat. Quite the contrary. After seeing his wave, the driver deliberately accelerated the boat directly toward him and Kay.
Even if Damian could have shouted a warning loud enough to be heard over the deafening engine, he had no idea what the warning could be. There was no way to outpaddle or outmaneuver a speedboat—not one heading directly for them at full throttle.
Chapter Seven
Damian did the only thing he could think of. He shoved his kayak between Kay’s and the speedboat.
The driver of the speedboat waited until the last second—the very last second—before swerving to avoid colliding with the small crafts in his path. Damian grabbed the sides of the cockpit as the force of the powerful wave generated by the boat’s deep wake slammed into the side of his craft. It hit his kayak like a closed fist against a paper bag.
Damian’s kayak flew into the air. The next second, Damian found himself head down in the water, the kayak floating above him.
He knew what he had to do and he wasted no time in doing it. He strengthened his grasp on the sides of the cockpit and somersaulted his weight forward. The pointed, dartlike kayak sliced a half circle through the water, flipped and landed right side up. Damian’s eyes immediately searched the water.
The strong, undulating waves of the speedboat’s wake still spewed milky-white crests over much of the surface. He blinked his eyes against the spray, looking for Kay. But she was nowhere to be seen.
“Kay!” he yelled, the sound echoing off the waves and pounding through his head.
There was no answer. He knew he had to find her quickly. He paddled frantically toward where he judged she had been when the brunt of the wake hit, every beat of his heart registering an eternity.
“Kay! Kay!” he continued to yell.
Finally, he saw her kayak. Floating bottom end up.
Like him, she’d been capsized. But unlike him, she of course didn’t know how to somersault to right her craft. She was underwater, unable to release herself from the tight fit of the spray deck.
Damian whirled the paddle through the water, propelling his kayak forward, slicing through the waves, desperate to reach her in time. The instant he approached her capsized craft, he grabbed hold of the end and, with every ounce of his strength, he sharply twisted the hull. The kayak flipped over and splashed obediently back on its bottom.
Damian yanked the end toward him until the cockpit was alongside his.
She was hunched over. He grabbed her shoulders. His heart was stabbing him so hard, it felt as though it were puncturing holes in his rib cage.
“Kay? Kay? Are you all right?”
In answer, she pitched her head over the side of her craft and coughed up water.
She was alive. Alive!
He held her shoulders, feeling them shake and shiver. Her breath wheezed loudly through her lungs in what sounded like painful gasps.
He wrapped his arms around her, rested her head gently against his chest and rocked her as she fought to fill her lungs. The awkward position nearly capsized them both. But he didn’t let her go. He couldn’t let her go. His arms wouldn’t allow him to let her go.
He began to curse the speedboat driver with every foul word and phrase he had ever heard. As his experience was extensive in this regard, it took some time to get them all out. He needed that time.
Finally, the anger that had grown out of his fear for her subsided, and he felt both their breaths coming more easily.
He released his death grip on her, but still held her to him. He made his voice deliberately low and threatening. “If I ever find that bastard, I’ll...”
He knew the imagery his next words described bordered on inspired, even for him. When the spew of obscenities finally abated he took another deep breath.
“He won’t get away with that stupid stunt, Kay. Imbeciles like that don’t last long. If the authorities don’t get him, some other irate kayaker or boater will track him down and shove a paddle up his—”
This time he stopped himself from completing the vulgar sentence and gave her shoulder a hard squeeze. “Sorry. I’m afraid I let my language get a little out of hand there.”
She giggled, a wet breathless little laugh that surprised him completely.
“You call that a little out of hand? In the last few minutes, you’ve expanded my vocabulary considerably.”
Her laughter told him more than anything that she was going to be okay. That she was really going to be okay. A tightness inside his chest he hadn’t even realized was there began to loosen.
His husky voice
answered her with a lighter tease, underlying a spurious seriousness. “That’s because we psychologists frequently find ourselves in need of the proper technical terminology.”
She giggled again. “Proper technical terminology? So that’s what that was. Well, you certainly have an impressive command of that proper technical terminology. By the way, in case I haven’t mentioned it, thanks for saving my life.”
He held her close to him again and kissed the top of her drenched head and then both of her cheeks. He felt so relieved that she was all right and safe in his arms.
His voice was still a little too husky. “Saving your life was the least I could do after endangering it. For someone who doesn’t swim, you held your breath...amazingly well.”
“That’s because we lawyers frequently find ourselves in over our heads.”
He smiled, enjoying the playfulness of her retort.
“I hope this...ah...little mishap doesn’t put you off kayaking.”
Wet and bedraggled, but with a sparkle in her eyes and a lovely pink flush in her recently kissed cheeks, she heaved a deep sigh and stared up into his face.
“Little mishap, huh? Well, I’d say that depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether I can expect to have as much fun the next time.”
Damian laughed then and she laughed with him. He finally released her and they slowly paddled, side by side, back to shore.
But the tension refused to leave his body. He was on guard every stroke. And a nagging unease skipped along on the edges of his alertness. He didn’t like the feeling. He couldn’t even clearly focus on its cause.
All he knew was that it had something to do with the dark figure behind the wheel of that powerboat, speeding directly at them so deliberately, so deadly.
* * *
“KAY, I wish you wouldn’t insist on our viewing more of those videotapes of Roy this evening. I can think of a lot more pleasant—”
“No you don’t, Damian Steele. We’ve already wasted the afternoon. My Puritan upbringing will not stand for any more frivolity.”
“Frivolity nothing. Kayaking is part play, and play is very serious business for the human psyche.”
“And work is a very necessary business if we’re going to win this case. Now, I’ll just go upstairs to my condo and change out of these damp clothes, and then we’ll head for your place.”
“Invite me up. I won’t bite. Unless it’s necessary, of course.”
Kay looked over at the lustful lift to his grin and sighed. How could a gal resist a guy like this?
“Okay. Come on up.”
He found her contemporary condominium small and uncluttered, everything in its logical place. It was a quiet and secluded unit at the very back of the complex. The view from the windows off the white and cream-colored living room was a lovely one of Elliott Bay. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the balcony as she disappeared into a back room to change.
She had four different kinds of potted plants flourishing out there, each well tended and scrupulously healthy.
He stepped back into the living room and closed the sliding glass door behind him. He could have predicted everything about her place—except what was peeking out of the room divider on the opposite end of the living room.
She returned dressed in a pale silver pants and blouse set, which gave off a soft powdery look that enhanced her natural femininity. Her hair was still damp, once again drawn up in a silver barrette. She was, as always, lovely.
He kept wondering what that honey-gold hair would look like long and full and dry, cascading over bare shoulders.
As Kay finished buttoning the sleeve of her blouse, she looked up at him, her eyes trying to read the expression on his face. He turned away and pointed to the drums only partially hidden behind the room divider, allowing a smile to draw back his lips.
“Shouldn’t those be a flute?”
She laughed. “That’s what Mom and Dad would have preferred, no doubt about it. But I love the drums. They have so much energy to them. Just give me a minute to check my messages and we’ll be off.”
There was just one message. Kay pressed the button.
“It’s AJ, Kay. I have more bad news concerning Croghan. Damn, why can’t you wear a beeper? Buzz me back the moment you get in.”
Kay picked up the receiver and punched in one of her speed-dial numbers.
“Busy,” she said to Damian as she hung up the phone. “I wonder how this bad news compares to the last?”
“So why don’t you wear a beeper?”
“Oh, I don’t know. My one token rebellion to staid lawyering I suppose. Let’s go. We’ll have to stop by the office so I can pick up my car. I’ll try her again there. You ready?”
His eyes went to his wristwatch. “It’s nearly six. Why don’t we forget those tapes for tonight and go out for an early dinner?”
“No, Damian. You’re not going to stall again. Last night after dinner, you said you had phone calls to make to patients that you couldn’t put off. This morning, you insisted we had to meet at my office to go over those articles by Dr. Van Pratt your librarian had sent over. This afternoon, it was kayaking. If I didn’t know better, I would think that maybe you’re just finding excuses to avoid showing me the rest of those tapes. I do know better, don’t I?”
Damian came forward and rested his hands lightly on her shoulders. There was genuine concern in his voice that combined with the warmth of his hands to make her feel light-headed.
“Kay, your seeing those tapes will serve no possible good. It might even do you harm.”
“Damian, the decision about what I’m prepared to see has to be my decision. I’m not a child, remember?”
For the first time, Kay heard a note of frustration in his deep voice as his hands cupped her shoulders more tightly. “Unfortunately, that is something I can’t forget.”
She looked up into his ruggedly handsome face and the hot glint that suddenly flashed in his eyes. The warmth of him seeped through her, setting off that crazy streak of sensation through the back of her thighs. She inhaled quickly, trying to catch her breath, trying to keep hold of her thoughts.
“Don’t tie my hands while I’m trying to defend you. We’ve a rough road ahead. You have to let me go with my instincts.”
“Your instincts?”
“Yes, my instincts. They tell me I must see those tapes. Aren’t you ever prodded by your instincts to do something?”
His left hand slipped down to her waist and pulled her body to his so quickly, Kay had no time to resist. She sucked in a surprised breath and let out a small gasp at being suddenly held so closely against the long, lean, hard length of him.
The breath stalled in her lungs. Her heart began to beat very fast. His right hand swept up to the back of her head. He brought her face forward until they were just a kiss apart. His soft breath blew tantalizingly across her lips.
“Yes, Kay. I am prodded by my instincts to do something.”
He kissed her then, with a mouth moving over hers in hot, incendiary sweeps, hungry with desire. A world of feeling flooded Kay, drowning out every coherent thought in her head. He was an iron strength and a burning heat, and he was pounding her will to pulp and igniting every one of her cells.
And she wanted it to go on forever.
Except a mere second later, he pulled away and held her from him.
He was breathing hard. His green eyes glinted as though lit from within by barely leashed lust and a lot more.
“But I am in control of my dangerous instincts, otherwise I would be carrying you to bed right now and forgetting all about my promise to be a gentleman. We have a ten-minute drive back to your office. And then another half-hour drive to my place and those tapes. You have exactly forty minutes in which to change your mind and control your dangerous instincts.”
He withdrew his hands, stepped back, turned and marched toward the door. Kay stared at his retreating back. Her whole body was trembling.
She couldn’t seem to catch her breath.
She wondered if she would ever be able to catch it again.
* * *
DAMIAN DROVE FAST. Too fast. He knew Kay was having a hard time keeping up with him in her Camry. That knowledge did not make him slow down. And every mile, he debated with himself about whether he was doing the right thing by letting her look at those tapes.
On the one hand, he knew each person had the right to decide what to see and what not to see. But on the other hand, his feelings for Kay clearly demanded he protect her from seeing what was on those tapes. And in this battle of head against heart, Damian was unsure which would be the victor—if there was to be a victor. This was beginning to look like one of those no-win situations.
His head reminded him she was sharp. She was balanced. She wasn’t easily spooked. But his heart had always somehow sensed the gentleness in her, the tender spot that could be reached and hurt. He had already seen it assaulted during the first two hours of those tapes.
He knew no armor of logic could protect her tender core when she came face-to-face with the other, far sharper spears of reality so shockingly depicted in his patient’s later sessions. And, yet, Damian knew, too, that Kay had a potent need to be recognized as strong. How could he become like all those other men who had refused to accept that strength?
No-win, no-win, no-win, the words chanted in his head, causing it to ache.
As soon as he turned up his block, Damian immediately saw the two cars parked in front of his house. One was a police car with a uniformed officer leaning against the hood. In front of it was a long, white Lincoln.
He checked his rearview mirror. Kay was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t surprised. The way he’d been driving, she was probably still half a mile back. He pulled up behind the police car and got out. The uniformed officer walked over to him.
“Dr. Damian Steele?”
“Yes. I’m Steele. What’s going on?”
A man was getting out of the driver’s side of the long, white Lincoln. Damian didn’t get a good look at him because he was too occupied with the white paper the officer was shoving at him. “This is a court order, Dr. Steele.”
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