by Sosie Frost
Nothing about the hideously teal bridesmaid gown fit me. The bustles had no lift, the bows no liveliness, and the strapless cups…
Well, I made short work of them.
The last thing I needed was anyone staring too intently at my body, but it was way too early for any real changes right?
I looked down. My breasts were trying to suffocate me, but everything else seemed halfway normal. I thought. Maybe?
I hadn’t looked in the mirror yet, waiting for the moment Lindsey or Mom or one of the bridesmaids called out some sort of un-hideable baby bump. If it happened, I couldn’t even blame a big lunch. It’d been hell to just sip soup. Nothing stayed down except copious amounts of oranges, and that was risky because citric acid did not make for a pleasant return experience.
I pinched my eyes shut. The hot lights of the bridal boutique shined like an interrogation.
This was it. The jig was up. My bun was in the oven, and they turned on the heat.
“When did you lose weight?” Lindsey plucked at the bunched material over my waist. “No…when did it all go to your tits?”
Mom frowned, rubbing her chin. “It must be the lighting. Mandy isn’t that small.”
Thanks, Mom.
But the measurements confirmed it. I was different from the first fitting. I lost weight.
Well, that was a relief. Or was it? The doctor did warn that it wasn’t uncommon for women to lose weight in early pregnancy because of the morning sickness, especially if they happened to be a little curvier. And I couldn’t really eat much but fruit and crackers.
Okay. Another freebie. I breathed a quick sigh.
“Who measured her the first time?” Lindsey whirled around to berate the terrified seamstress and owner of the boutique. “We’re lucky the hem isn’t dragging on the floor too!”
“Well, we were all supposed to go on a diet,” I said.
“Yeah, which some people have forgotten to do!” Lindsey pointed at her other teal and miserable bridesmaids. “I made the spreadsheet, why aren’t you guys logging your weight? We’re supposed to be doing this together.”
I heard the edge of real panic in my sister’s voice. That stress peaked when the zipper to her dress needed a bit of encouragement to climb past her booty. We got it zipped, but Lindsey immediately peeled it off and threw away half of the candy bar she was nervously eating.
My sister pushed me to the dressing room. She waited outside, lowering her voice so those beyond the fitting areas couldn’t hear.
“Mandy, I know you’ve been trying hard,” she said.
I braced for it. What was it this time? Maybe she thought I was deliberately causing her problems. Maybe I wasn’t pulling my weight, or I hadn’t asked Dad to fork over another two grand for gold dust in the champagne.
“I wanted you to know…” Lindsey exhaled. “I really appreciate it.”
Wow!
I didn’t know what to say. “Oh. Well. I’m only trying to help.”
“Look, Mom gives you shit because you’re curvy, but you don’t have to go to any extremes. You’re beautiful just as you are.”
I waited for the hammer to drop and crack through the insults. Lindsey said nothing else.
My eyes welled with tears—overwhelmed and suffering from the damn hormones that had me weepy because of songs on the radio, advertisements with puppies, and, of course, a week of avoiding Nate.
“Thanks,” I said.
“And I know I’ve been a little…crazy.” She cleared her throat. “But I’m still your big sister. Do you want to tell me why you’ve been so quiet lately?”
“Qu-quiet?”
“You haven’t been yourself since last weekend at the cabin. If it’s the dance routine, honestly, you’re only bad because…well, there’s a couple reasons. Mainly, you have no rhythm, but we can fake that with alcohol at the wedding. But you also care too much about what people think.” She hesitated. “What happened with you and Nate?”
Oh, no no no. I wasn’t answering that.
“Nothing happened with me and Nate.”
“Then why did he have poison ivy too?”
I only wished the rash had spread over the troublemaker between his legs.
I was super fortunate mine had stopped above my tailbone. I couldn’t imagine the talk with my OBGYN. I was already confused enough about the pregnancy, but I was pretty sure I couldn’t split a tube of calamine lotion with the baby if I had gotten poison ivy in my womb.
“I get it, Mandy,” she said.
I wasn’t falling for it this time. “Get what?”
“You were trying to make up with Nate.”
No, I had been trying to make out with Nate, and, per my usual, we went too far.
“You’re right. We took a walk and tried to…bang everything out.”
“Did it work?”
I cleared my throat. “Well, we had a couple really good moments.”
“Really?”
“Yeah…” No sense lying. “I lost count after five.”
Lindsey’s smile warmed her words. “That’s great.”
“But I don’t think there’s any changing Nate.”
I tugged on my clothes and slipped from the dressing room. Lindsey took my dress and nodded.
“The important thing is that you’re trying to be friends for me,” she said.
The guilt coiled up nicely next to the baby. I should have been helping my sister more with her wedding, but Nate and the baby were the only problems on my mind.
And I had no idea what to do with him now that he’d rolled the entire bridal party in bed.
I expected it. I knew the type of man he was.
So why was he still chasing me? I couldn’t trust his intentions, not with my heart and definitely not with a baby on the way.
Lindsey hurried to the other bridesmaids, just in time to cover her eyes as Mom finally squeezed into her outfit.
Mom marched to the mirror in a designer, form-fitting, completely inappropriate halter dress. The dress was too much bust, not nearly enough over the booty, and came in fire-engine red. Somehow her sweater puppies matured into sweater dogs, and if she didn’t let them breathe, the entire boutique was gonna blow.
“Mom…” Lindsey’s eyes widened. “You can’t wear that.”
“And why not?”
“Because your gazongas are gigunda. Who are you trying to impress at my wedding?”
Mom spun in front of the mirror. She plucked at the material and inched it higher up her leg.
Why my mother felt the need to wear thigh-high hose, I’d never understand, but at least it wasn’t as bad as the fishnets when we met with the caterers.
“Your father is no longer buying my dress for the wedding.” Mom ran her hand over her waist. Whatever corset she wore buckled but hadn’t broken. “And I want to feel beautiful.”
“Know what’s beautiful?” Lindsey stomped her feet. “Layers!”
“What’s wrong with this?”
I bit my lip. “Well, I can see the dimples on your cheeks.”
“I don’t have dimples.”
“Not on your face, Mom.”
Mom got flustered. “Mandy, if you had it your way, I’d be going to the wedding in a parka. You’ll have to accept that your mother is a sexual being—”
The bridesmaids shuddered.
“—who wants to look good at her daughter’s wedding. And if the world sees me as sexy, I’ll give it a little show.”
Lindsey sighed. “Please don’t do a show, Mom.”
“I’ve already been asked.”
“By who?”
Mom smiled. “It was supposed to be a surprise. But I’m going to sing Natural Woman at your party with the band, and I need to look the part.”
Lindsey stared at me like I agreed to play piano for her.
“Fix this,” she growled. “Now.”
I thought morning sickness made me uncomfortable. I was wrong.
This. This was uncomfortable.
&n
bsp; “Mom, I think Lindsey wanted to hire a professional to sing,” I said.
“One song, baby.” Mom patted Lindsey’s cheek. “You know what it’s like to be desired—Bryce loves you. And I’m hot on the market.” She glanced at me. “Maybe you’ll understand one day, Mandy. Once your hair grows out. And you lose a little more weight. And maybe we can do something about your nose…”
And I was done.
If they only knew. I was desirable. Hell, Nate couldn’t stop touching me.
It just so happened he’d already touched everyone else too.
I stormed out of the boutique, cell in hand. I had no idea if it was right to be flattered by Nate’s constant chasing, or if it meant I didn’t give in as easily as the other girls.
All the other girls.
And nothing was wrong with my nose!
This was getting overwhelming. I needed some sort of insight about Nate. I knew the person I had to call, but Rick wasn’t going to like these questions.
I paced outside for a minute before building the courage to call him. Rick answered with a groggy profanity.
“Rise and shine,” I said.
Another profanity. “Is anyone bleeding?”
“Nope.”
“Heart attack?”
“Nope.”
“It’s my day off.” Rick grumbled. “Call back never.”
“I gotta talk to you.”
I permitted him a minute to complain, but Rick wouldn’t hang up on me. Once the telltale sputtering of his coffee pot hissed over the line, I knew I had him.
“Lindsey driving you crazy?” He yawned.
I took a breath. Now or never. “Not Lindsey.”
“Your mom?”
“Well, yeah. Pretty sure we’ll need the Jaws of Life to get her out of the dress she chose, but…it’s not her.”
“Uh-oh. What happened?”
Why was it so hard to say? My throat closed. I’d make it easy. Just start with the basics.
“I, uh…it’s Nate.”
Rick groaned. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”
I quieted. He knew exactly what that meant.
“No! Mandy, why in God’s name would you sleep with Nate?”
Good question. I had no idea how to explain it.
“It was…something that happened.” And it happened more times than I could count thanks to the cabin and that night of mistaken pleasure. “I was lonely. And the wedding was getting nuts. And my parents were stressing me out. I needed something to take my mind off of it all.”
“Jesus, Mandy. Take a walk. A cold shower. Anything but Nate.”
“I know.”
“Especially since he’s slept with all the bridesmaids now. Christ, this wedding served him all the fresh meat he could want.”
“As I learned.” I sighed and stopped my pacing. At least the sun felt nice—warm…non-judgmental. “It’s just…I thought there might have been…”
“What?”
A spark? “Something else there.”
“Don’t.” Rick took on his older brother tone. “Don’t look for anything more with Nate. I know the guy. It was a one-night stand.”
“Except it wasn’t.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t…a one-off fuck.”
“Did you just use the word fuck?”
“Listen to me. It was more than once. And he’s been…pursuing me. Calling me, texting me. He wants to talk. He even apologized for the other girls before me.”
“Nate.”
“Yes.”
“Nate Kensington?”
“Yes, smart-ass.” I plunked down on the bench outside the boutique. “You’re his friend. What’s he doing? What am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t have the answers for you, but I know what I have to do.”
I was afraid to ask. “What?”
“Kick his fucking ass.”
“That’s not why I called you—”
“He knows better than to confuse you like this. You’re too damn inexperienced for him.”
“That doesn’t matter. Even if it wasn’t my first time—”
“Holy shit! You were a virgin?”
Pretty sure the elderly couple passing on the sidewalk heard him through the phone.
Rick swore. Something crashed in his room.
Yeah. We definitely weren’t telling him about the baby yet.
“Rick, listen to me,” I said. “It’s just confusing. Nate’s been nice and supportive and…it’s not like he’s looking to score.”
“That’s all he’s ever wanted from anyone.”
“Then why would he come back for more?”
“Because he can take advantage of you.”
“That’s not it, and you know it.” I heaved a breath. “This past weekend, when he was at the cabin with us, I thought…he seemed so…”
“Don’t say it.”
“I think I have feelings for him.”
This was the moment Rick’s head would explode, but, fortunately, I only heard the crash of his coffee cup in the sink. I flinched. He exhaled.
“Look, Mandy. I know he’s a smooth talker. After Jada left me, he taught me a couple tricks so I could hook up with girls at the bar—”
“You did what?”
“Let’s focus on your fuck-ups now, okay?”
My words caught in my throat. Rick apologized and softened his voice.
“My advice?” He hesitated. “Stay away from him. You’re not his type, and he is definitely not yours. I want to see you taken care of. Loved. In a nice big house with a boatload of kids running around giving you a headache.”
Mission-partially-accomplished. I swallowed.
“And I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said.
“I don’t either. But everything is getting more and more complicated.”
“If anyone can untangle things, it’s you.”
Sure, when the rope wasn’t looped around my neck. I forced a smile into my voice. “I’ll sort it out.”
“Don’t make me whoop your ass too.”
Oh no. That was still to come. “Please…don’t tell anyone? I’m trying to keep the wedding as drama-free as possible.”
“Oh yeah.” Rick gave a deep belly-laugh. “Lindsey’s drama-free wedding. Right. Am I invited to that one too?”
“I won’t tell her you said that.”
Rick kept laughing. I ended the call.
My phone immediately buzzed. I bit my lip.
Nate.
Part of me actually fluttered as I considered answering. I had no idea why, but I wanted to hear his voice. Except he would want an explanation I couldn’t give.
His messing around bothered me, but I wasn’t just a jealous lover. I knew the type of man he was and why it was a bad idea for me to get too close.
This wasn’t about me. I had to worry about the baby.
I hated to do it, but I ignored the call. I didn’t pocket my phone. I expected Nate to call back, like he had done all week.
I gave it a solid two minutes.
The phone stayed silent.
And that hurt most of all.
Twelve
Nate
I sat outside the country club, waiting for the right moment to confront Mandy.
I was done with this passive aggressive bullshit.
Mandy refused to answer my calls, texts, or emails? Fine. Then I’d talk to her face-to-face. Explain myself.
Except I had no idea why I felt the need to justify my actions—especially since I fucked the other bridesmaids before I slept with her.
And I didn’t know why it pissed me off so much to be ignored. Or why it panicked me.
Or why it…hurt.
I wasn’t in the wrong. I did exactly what she wanted. She asked me to stay at the cabin. She walked with me to the dock. She was the one whispering don’t stop.
So why was I being punished? Hell, why did I even care?
Easy. Because Mandy was keeping something f
rom me.
She had no reason not to trust me and every reason to answer my calls and give me an honest explanation of what really bothered her.
I’d never hidden the truth from her, so why was she so damn secretive with me?
Bryce gave me the info on the family tour of the venue. The Prescotts and Washingtons were doing a walkthrough of the reception hall for last-minute measurements and pictures. It was the only place I could pin Mandy down.
I shouldn’t have gone to find her, but if I didn’t untangle myself from her now, I’d be knotted up forever.
And if we were being real honest? I’d make sure those ropes bound us together tight.
Lindsey decided to get married in my family’s church, humble and quiet, but she demanded the party be held in a ritzy country club, the type that demanded their security deposit in gold. I stalked inside, prepared to grab Mandy and get my answers.
I was used to pissing women off, but they never cried in my presence. Never wasted a tear on me.
Mandy did, and I wasn’t going to be the man who caused any woman pain.
Especially her.
Mandy sat on the edge of an indoor fountain, tickling her fingers through the water. She smiled at the patient assistant who volunteered to lead her family on a tour.
How the hell did this woman get more beautiful every time I saw her?
If she was a magnet, I was the rusted lump of metal dragging along the ground to avoid smashing into her.
Soft. That’s what she was. A vision of softness, gentleness, and peace. Her curves accentuated a distinct femininity, something no other woman I’d slept with had ever possessed. Even her eyes looked brighter. They widened, the golden honey burning amber the instant she saw me.
She wasn’t happy to see me, but I was the lucky son of a bitch fortunate enough to see her.
She stood, crossing her arms. I memorized her mouth, the angle of her cheeks, the way her ebony waves cradled over her shoulders. Her hair fell over the swell of her chest.
I shouldn’t have gotten hard while Mandy coiled for a strike, but damn, I couldn’t keep myself away from her. Something drew us together, and if I couldn’t satisfy my lust, I could at least satisfy my curiosity.
Mandy frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“We have to talk.”
She excused herself from her family, flinching as her steps on the marble echoed in the grand hall where Lindsey and Bryce’s mothers envisioned arches and fine silks and flowers—all ivory.
