Sounds like curses were very big back in their day. I thought it was only people who were from where Mrs. Houtz called the “Old Country” believed in them but it seems Emily believed in them did too. I’m starting to think Emily is as dramatic as Marple and Fletcher, but I kept that to myself.
I have to tell you Mary I don’t think I’ve ever seen these two this excited. I can’t imagine how excited the rest of the Mafia is. The whole time they were talking they kept filling my coffee mug and slicing another piece of coffee cake. Then it was Mrs. Edmond’s turn, “I heard the only reason they reconnected is because Patty found out she has cancer and not much time left. She wanted to make up with Emily before she passes on. From what I understand she has been back quite a few times over the last six months. I guess all has been forgiven and forgotten, and now they wanted to spend as much time together as they possibly could.” Here’s the part where I almost fell out of my chair. Mrs. Houtz said, “Now dear; I’m telling you this so that you will be ready when someone from the police department contacts you.” What!?! Why on earth would someone from the police department be contacting me? Again my face gave me away. I need to work on this if I’m ever going to make a half way decent detective. What good is it if the bad guy knows what you’re thinking while your thinking it? I’ll tell you, none.
“Well dear, the people at the police department have been talking to Charlie while you were gone. They have been asking him if he thought the two of you would perhaps consider doing some contract work for them if the need should ever present itself.” They looked at one another, and their heads dropped.
“Oh, I’ve ruined the surprise. Charlie is going to be so upset with me. I just couldn’t help myself; I got so caught up in the moment and the mood and kept talking.” Then Mrs. Edmonds chimed in, “You see dear, Charlie came over to the house and told us all about it. He said he thought about it and decided to tell them yes, because he honestly never thought they would need your services. He also told them he taught you everything he knew. He thought you would get a big kick out of it, and couldn’t wait to tell you about it when you got back home. You’re going to have to act surprised when he tells you.” I was in such a state of shock I didn’t realize until later that they had said “Charlie didn’t think they would ever need your services.” I decided to let that go for the time being. I actually had to raise my hand and promise to act surprised.
Mrs. Edmonds had snuck a quick peek into the living room and noticed all of the furniture was gone. She wanted to know when my things were coming from New York or if I had decided to sell the house. I told them I had decided on selling the house. This seemed to perk them right up. They forgot all about ruining Charlie’s surprise for me. I know they were just biting at the bit to ask if I had made up my mind to move in with them. Those two are just so darn cute Mary, I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I told them I had decided to accept their offer. We were jumping up and down and screaming, you would have thought we were teenage girls. This is better than being a teenage girl; I’m going to be one of the Golden Girls!
Of course, they decided we had to have a celebratory supper. They started planning the menu and then I made the mistake of bringing up the fact that we should draw up a contract and, BAM. Stony silence combined with a look that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, made it clear we weren’t going to talk about that. After what seemed to be an eternity, they went back to talking about what was for supper. We walked back to my bedroom and packed up what little there was and took it over to my new home.
When I asked where we were going to get all this food for supper, they said they would get it out of their “Just in case” stash. Yes, I like to pretend that I’m part of the cooking team, even though the only thing I do is sit and watch. Their “Just in case” stash is more food than what most people have for a regular weeks worth of groceries. The pantry its self is bigger than most walk-in closets. We had an incredible meal, ate too much, and they managed to talk about everything but the rent agreement. I knew better than to bring that subject up if I didn’t want that hair on the back of my neck to stand up again.
Breakfast with Charlie will be fun. He’s going to have to help me come up with a rental agreement, and some sort of written statement that the ladies will have to sign; stating that anything they hear Charlie and I discussing about a case will be kept in confidence. No matter what, they won’t be able to talk about it to any of the other ladies in the E-Mafia. Yeah, this is going to be a fun breakfast.
See you tomorrow
Fun Breakfast with Charlie
Dear Mary,
We went to a little hole in the wall diner across the river in Missouri he knew about. If it had been anyone else that had brought me to this place, I would have called the health department right then. But since it was Charlie I decided to wait until I saw the first bug before I threw this place under the bus.
We both ordered coffee; He had eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast. I felt like trying something new, and if I was going to die of food poisoning, it might as well be biscuits and gravy. I also ordered bacon extra crispy (can’t have wiggly bacon), and thought I would give their grits a try. I like mine with just a hint of bacon grease, butter, salt and pepper. I have to say the coffee was some of the best I’ve had in a long time, easily in the top ten. The grits could have been better but not bad. You’ll be happy to know I didn’t see one bug.
I told him about the dramatic welcome home I got. He laughed and said they had been taking care of him since his little accident happened. Unfortunately for him the break in his leg was bad enough that he was either going to need the help of the E-Mafia or stay at one of those extended care facilities. He said he really wanted to be at home so he had to make what may have been one of the toughest decisions he has ever had to make. He ended up choosing the E-Mafia. He knew the ladies loved every minute of it, even though there was only one of them there at a time, he was about to check himself into a mental ward. It was like having four mothers. He was so excited I was home he could hardly stand it.
We had talked about everything under the sun. How my trip to New York went, what all I did while I was there. I gave him his present. It was one of those happy face coffee mugs. Only this happy face had been shot right in the middle of the forehead. There was a trickle of blood that ran down it. There was no saying on it. That was it, just the picture. I knew Charlie would love it. He had told me before how much he hated those stupid yellow happy faces. I was just waiting for him to drop the bomb so I could act surprised. I had been practicing all morning. I decided I was going to have to take the bull by the horns and at least get it headed down the right path, so I told him I had decided to sell Grandpa’s house and move in with Marple and Fletcher. This got his attention.
He thought it was a great idea, and it was actually a relief. He and Mark had been talking about it, and they knew if I continued to live in Grandpa’s house, one of the two of them would constantly be there fixing things. Not to mention they would be worried about me being by myself. I told him how much Marple and Fletcher liked him and was sure they would be inviting him over for supper soon. He was excited about that, like everyone else in town he loves their cooking.
I told him I was going to need his help in drawing up a contract concerning rent. I thought this would be a perfect segway for him to bring up the police department. It worked. He was laid back and a little dramatic at the same time. He took a sip of coffee, sat back in his chair. Then he said, “Sid, I have something to tell to you. I thought I’d give you a chance to get settled in first. While you were gone the Edwardsville Police Department came to me and asked if we would be interested in consulting for them. At first I told them I would need to wait for you to get back into town and discuss it with you. Then I started to consider how rare that would actually happen, how excited you would be about being a “consultant” for the police department, so I called them back the next day and told them yes.”
As promised I acted surpris
ed; it wasn’t overacted, the right amount of subtle gestures, the right amount of gasp. I think Meryl Streep herself would have given me a nod.
Charlie had called Mark and told him about it. They discussed it and thought it would be fun, and agreed I would love it. He said they had even been trying to come up with a nickname for me. When he joined the agency, every agent got a nickname. Mark’s was “The Muffin Man” because at the time he had an addiction to banana nut muffins and had to have one every morning with his coffee. When Charlie noticed it, he started calling him “The Muffin Man” and it stuck. I asked him what his nickname was he said, “Wino” because of his love of wine. So it turns out I do know the Muffin Man! They hadn’t come up with my nickname yet, but we have time. Then came a different surprise, the P.D. already wanted to hire us.
They want us to work on the Burkhart case. It’s a month old now. They haven’t gotten any new leads and had no suspects. They thought a fresh set of eyes would be a good idea before they have to put it in the cold case file. That doesn’t mean they stop working the case, it just means they don’t have the manpower or resources to continue when there aren’t leads or suspects out there. If a lead gets called in they will send a detective out. I was a little worried that Charlie would be doing all the work and I would just be in the way. He said he has faith in me, and I should have more faith in myself, and quick because we start working the case tomorrow.
He thought I had learned a lot from Grandpa’s case. He was right, I did. Which brought us to our problem; after more coffee and a lot of talking, Charlie and I decided there wasn’t going to be any way of keeping everything from Marple and Fletcher. I would be living with two of the best amateur detectives in Edwardsville. Let’s face it, they know so much more about this detective business than I do. With me living there now, we knew we were going to have to come up with some way of limiting the information they would have access to.
They had proven their capabilities during Grandpa’s case. Who knows they may even come in useful at times, getting information from people that may be willing to talk to them and not us. It was going to have to be a contract for the four of us to sign. The more formal we make this, the more serious they will be about the entire situation. We wrote up a rough draft of the contract on napkins, went back to Charlie’s house, put the official one on his computer as well as the contract for my living situation.
I made sure that the amount of money covered everything they do: food, cleaning, cooking and the general taking care of me. They aren’t going to be happy with that one, but I tied it into what I like to call the “spy” contract, which I know they will love and won’t be able to resist, so they’ll sign.
I had some errands to run before going home, so I called them and told them the good news that Charlie had told me and of course they wanted to have another celebratory supper. I’ll let you know how everything goes after supper.
Later
Supper and Contracts
Dear Mary,
Well, supper was fantastic as usual. I know mimosas are usually a morning drink, but the ladies were so excited about finally getting to try this new one they didn’t care what time of day it was. I know they were excited for me as well, but a little part of me thinks they were excited because of all the information they thought they were going to have access to.
What I do know is when they get this excited is it seems like the caliber of their cooking goes up, if that’s possible. We had grilled steaks that were so tender you didn’t need a knife; roasted red potatoes with sautéed onions, and grilled corn on the cob.
We started out with the mimosas and little nibblies, and of course, wine with supper. For dessert we had another incredible European concoction that I would trade my right arm to eat again. This one was different than the one they had fixed the first night I was back in town. This one was a concoction of what seemed to be a cake and pudding. It had caramel mixed through out and then a cream cheese frosting drizzled across the entire thing. I wanted to call it a bread pudding, but the ladies were emphatic that it was not a bread pudding.
Charlie had brought the contracts with him but kept them out of sight until after dinner. Once we were all full and feeling a little of the wine, he casually brought them out. It was a beautiful night and we were sitting outside, I don’t think the ladies noticed he had them. He coughed a little; they looked over at him, saw what was in his hands. Mary I swear I heard them groan a little.
Basically, the agreement said that whatever they heard concerning any police matters they could not tell anyone, NO ONE including members of the E-Mafia. They were not happy with it but knew it was very important to any potential case we might work.
We knew they would keep their word on that, but had learned from experience that sooner or later they were bound to get involved. So we decided it was easier to know where and what they were up to from the get go. We told them that from time to time we might enlist their help. Now this seemed to grab their attention and the need for any case to be of, “no one else’s business” quickly became more important. We assured them we would never put them in harms way, or ask them to do something they wouldn’t feel comfortable doing. Charlie tried to make it sound as boring as possible, but I have a feeling what was going through their minds is exactly what you would see in one of the movies or T.V. shows we gave them their nicknames from.
I think they may have been more excited the P.D. had already hired us for the Burkhart case then we were. You would have thought we had told them there was a fountain of youth and had given them the directions.
Charlie asked them what they knew about the Burkhart’s; they gave him the quick version of what they had told me the day before. I did a pretty good job of acting as if this was the first time hearing this. I have to tell you Mary I’m getting pretty good at this whole pretending, “this is the first time I’m hearing this” thing. Charlie told them we had a meeting in the morning at the P.D. about the case then we would know if their services were needed. That seemed to be enough to appease them for the time being.
What with all the crime fighting talk they signed the rental agreement without any real fuss. It made me feel so much better knowing they were going to be compensated for taking care of me. I had it arranged so the monies will automatically be transferred into their accounts every month. If I had given them a check or cash, they would have either torn up the check or snuck the cash back into my wallet somehow. With the auto deposit, they can’t do either. Once they calm down from all the excitement and figure out that’s what’s going on, they are not going to be happy with me at all. But I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Right now I need to get some sleep, tomorrow is a big day! We go to the P.D. to get briefed on the Burkhart case. Our first case!
Later
The Burkhart case
Dear Mary,
Well, there certainly is a lot more to this case than what Marple and Fletcher think they know. When we arrived, Sergeant Detective Langer met us in the lobby, handed us visitor badges and took us to the conference room. He had laid out all the crime scene photos that had been taken that night.
I’ve never seen so many pictures of one place in my life. I’m not kidding Mary. I don’t think there was a corner in that house they didn’t get a snapshot of. Then, of course, there were the pictures of Mrs. Burkhart. They were a little disturbing, for me they were.
Mrs. Burkhart was on the floor. She had an oxygen mask with the air bag secured to her face. He explained that a neighbor of the Burkhart’s had called 911 and reported finding Mrs. Burkhart on the floor. The operator instructed her how to do CPR; fire and rescue arrived and took over. When they were repositioning the body they discovered that the back of her head, at the crown, was crushed. When no pulse and heartbeat could be established they discontinued CPR and pronounced her dead at the scene. The police arrived at the same time as the EMTs and questioned the neighbor, Sherry Lietzen. The Lietzen’s are a young couple, one of the first to bu
y into the subdivision. She and her husband were friends with the Burkhart’s oldest son, Brian.
The Detective said Mrs. Lietzen had gone over to the Burkhart’s to borrow a few ingredients for something she was baking. She knocked on the front door a couple of times, but no one answered. She knew they were home because she had seen Bob not more than ten minutes before. She even waved at him as he was walking to the house. So she walked around to the back to see if they were downstairs, when she got to the basement door she saw Mrs. Burkhart laying on the floor. She ran inside and started screaming for Bob, but he never responded. She picked up the phone and called 911. Langer said they had gone over every inch of that house and the grounds and could not find anything that would or could have been used to cause that kind of damage to her head. Now hang on to your hat Mary, this is where it gets really interesting.
It’s been a month since this incident has happened, but they still have not found Mr. Burkhart. Now I’m not talking about they can’t locate his truck because it’s there. Or can’t pinpoint his cell phone, because they have it. I’m talking it’s as if something or someone came down and sucked up Mr. Burkhart right from where he was standing, and there is no trace of him anywhere.
Det. Sgt. Langer said they used the police dog to try and get a scent from the house, but his scent never left the grounds. His truck and all of his belongings are at the house. He said there was nothing to indicate a struggle. In the kitchen, the table had been set for two. There was a cast iron skillet full of sausage, potatoes and onions on the stove. It didn’t look as though any of the rooms upstairs were gone through. Nothing was out of place.
Turns Out I Do Know The Muffin Man (A Dear Mary Mystery) Page 2
