The window is clear and I fasten my seatbelt as I push my foot down onto the gas pedal. I push too hard – as always. Although I have had this car for over two months now, I am still getting used to it. It’s a lot different to my little Mini Cooper and I feel that it’s way too flash. I manoeuvre my way through the London traffic in my white Mercedes SLK, with the heat on full power and the radio turned up fully. As I stop at the traffic lights, I stare out into the city that I know call home. So far my time has been great here, but I am missing my friends and my family. I try to stay in touch as much as possible via Skype and face-time but nothing compares to the real thing. Adrian has promised me that we will take a trip to New York soon and I am going to hold him to that promise until I lose my breath. Sophie is now in her fifth month of pregnancy and totally showing – by the way. James and Sophie have now moved in together and they have decided not to get married – despite their family’s protests. They feel that there is no need to get married, just because they are going to have a baby and if you ask me, I think that it’s a very brave thing for them to do. Why should they rush into getting married? I am sure that their baby will be loved just the same as if they were a married couple.
Katharine and Jeff are still going strong – as far as I know. I haven’t heard from Katharine in so long it’s as if we aren’t friends anymore. She doesn’t call nor does she drop by to visit. Adrian obviously still sees Jeff at work, but he never asks us to meet up with them so Adrian doesn’t ask either. I am not sure what I did to offend her, but she must be mad at me when she hasn’t spoke to me in so long. I don’t know what her problem is and if I am honest, I don’t really want to know. Why should I be the one to make the first move when I am not the one who has the problem? If Katharine wants to act like a grown up and tell me what is bothering her then she knows where to find me.
It didn’t take long for Adrian and me to find the perfect house. We arrived in London on a Monday and by the following Tuesday wehad moved into our new house in Belgravia. Before we landed in London, Adrian had already selected five houses for me to choose from. All I had to do was view each one and then make my decision. The house that I chose is spectacular. It’s located in Chester Square and its massive with 6 bedrooms, 3 receptions rooms, 5 bathrooms and an amazing roof terrace. The house is too large for us, but when I saw it I couldn’t picture us living anywhere else. Although I was instantly drawn to the house I wasn’t sure if Adrian would feel the same way, so before I got too carried away with picking out furniture, I made sure that Adrian would come to the house and view it with me. I was relieved when he seemed to love the house as much as I did and I was so impressed when he bought it right there on the spot. In the days that followed I had been to every furniture store, every home decorating store and basically anyplace that sold home interiors, in London. I was surprisingly impressed when Adrian didn’t want anything to do with choosing our home interiors, he left everything to me and I was glad that he did. Adrian has the need to control everything so I was very happy when I was the one in control. I decided to go for a neutral, white and brown theme. I picked out a white fabric sofa and dark brown tables to fill the lounge. Our kitchen is modern and is also dark wood. Our walls are pure white to match our staircase and our dining table is dark brown with white leather chairs. We have a huge skylight in our kitchen which looks up to the roof terrace and the view it has of the night-sky is to die for. We have a large bathroom with a whirlpool bathtub and our bedroom is furnished in French shabby chic. Our king-size bed is white and we have the highest thread count sheets that money can buy. I have a closet full of new dresses, shoes and handbags. Adrian provides me with a wonderful lifestyle and I am grateful for that and I know how privileged we are to have things that we do, but if I lost all the material things and if I was left with nothing but Adrian then I would be richer than the queen. All we need is love and anything else we get is just a bonus. All of the money could be gone tomorrow and I wouldn’t care, as long as I have Adrian’s love then I will be rich for the rest of my life.
My face is now burning from the hot air that is blowing from the vents of the car. As I shut off the air, my phone begins to ring through the Bluetooth of the car. I look over to the little screen, which is positioned in centre of the dashboard and I see that it’s Adrian who is calling me. I quickly push the answer button that’s on the steering wheel and I greet my husband. “Hey doll,” I gush and Adrian is quick to respond.
“Hello Alanna, are you in the car?” “Yes I am on my way to work is everything, okay?” The car is silent. My heart gently begins to race.
“No actually, I know I said that I could meet you for lunch this afternoon but I am afraid that I have to cancel.”
“Oh, why?” “I have a… meeting… I can’t get out of it… I hope you understand?” My heart is racing again and I don’t know how to respond. This is the second time this week that Adrian has had to cancel our plans and I am scared that he is keeping something from me. I know how angry he gets when I question him on his business, so I am holding back on asking him. My fears about Adrian have been rather frequent recently as he has been in regular contact with Zara. She calls him almost every day and Adrian always takes the calls outside. I don’t know what she is saying to him and I have no way of finding out. Adrian doesn’t know that I know that Zara is calling him, he always says its business but one day I checked his phone whilst he was in the shower and I saw three calls from Zara. My heart sank and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do or say so I just put it to the back of my head. They must be discussing William and the matter of the paternity test. Adrian has still not found out if the child is his and I vividly remember him telling me that Zara wanted him to spend some time with her and William. I guess my biggest fear is that he is meeting with her in secret and that he is lying to me about it. Or I might just be paranoid and he does actually have to work.
“I understand you wouldn’t cancel our plans unless it was necessary. I guess I will see you at dinner, then?”My voice is clam as I accept his cancelations. He takes a few moments to respond and when he does heassures me that he loves me – now my paranoia has returned.
“I will see you tonight, be safe and I love you.”
“Love you too.” I hang up his call and I try to shake off my worries. I make myself believe that my imagination has gotten carried away with me and that Adrian is being honest with me. I need to convince myself that’s how it is; if I don’t then I will go crazy wondering if my new husband is lying to me.
I am nearing my destination and I begin to get excited as I enter the parking lot of the orphanage. I pull into a parking space and I switch off the engine. I stare out at the building and I feel nervous as today ismy first day working here. When I had finished decorating the house, I realised that I had nothing to occupy my days. I would wake up alone as Adrian never seems to sleep, and then I would shower, make breakfast and kiss him before he went away to work and that has been my day, every day for the last four months. My evenings were spent in the same way every night, dinner, movie and bed with Adrian – for a few hours at least. The only time we go out is on a Friday when we have a boring even to attend. I never see Michael except for on Sundays when we have family night at Charles and Tabatha’s. I needed to break free from my routine, so I manned up and told Adrian that things needed to change. He tried to reassure me that what I had was all that I needed and that things didn’t need to change. However, I stood firm until Adrian agreed to let me get a job and I was happy when he suggested that I go and help Janet out at the orphanage. He knows that helping children is a passion of mine, so Adrian talked to Janet and she agreed to give me job. I was overjoyed when Adrian told me the news and I couldn’t wait to get started, but now that I am here I am beginning to feel nervous.
I open the car door and I rush out into the cold once again. I quickly make my way over to the door and I push it open with one fluid motion. Warmth and the smell of bacon hit me when I enter. I smile to myse
lf and I my anxiety is now slowly beginning to fade. I make my way over to the reception and there is an older lady who is talking on the phone. I wait as she finishes her call and I smile at her when she turns to face me. Her hair is short and grey and she is rather plump with rosy red cheeks. She looks really friendly as she beams at me.
“Now my love, what can I do for you?” She asks as she holds out her hand to me. I can’t help but smile at this lady and I instantly shake her warm, fat hand. “I am Alanna, I don’t know if Janet told you, but I am starting work here today.”
“Oh of course, you are Mr Black’s wife. My sister has filled me in. Now come with me dear, I will show you where to go.” The woman marches out from behind the desk and then she begins to rapidly walk along the wide hallway. She leads me to the same, dark oak door as last time and she pushes it open. I walk into the room behind her and that’s when I seeJanet. She rushes over to me and kisses me on the each cheek.
“Alanna, it’s so nice to see you again.” She beams. I smile at her.
“How have you been? How are the children?” I ask. Janet smiles at me again. “I am fine and the children are great. They are all very excited about having you come to work here. Especially Olivia, she never stops talking about you.” My heart melts as I remember the little girl. Her beautiful face flashes into my head and then a pang of guilt enters my heart. Olivia is an orphan with no family, she is the same age as my little sister and I hate to think of what she has been through. A lump gathers in my throat as I try to hide my emotion. I quickly turn back to Janet.
“That’s sweet and I just want to thank you for giving me this opportunity. It means the world to me and I can’t wait to get started.” Janet lets out her deafening laugh and I jump from the sound. She laughs again at my reaction and then she leads me into the dining room. As soon as I enter, I notice that all the children are sitting down and eating their breakfast. The table is long and has twelve seats each one occupied by a child. I scan their faces and I recognise a few of them. The little dark haired boy who talked with Adrian for hours is sitting at the head of the table, munching on his food. I stare harder at the kids and that’s when I notice Olivia. She is sitting at the end of the table, her fair hair is flowing freely and her deep brown eyes are sparkling. She smiles at me and I instantly return her gesture. I feel drawn tothis little girl and I can’t wait to get know her more.
“Children -attention!” Janet shouts. “Now, does everyone remember Miss Alanna?” The children all turn and stare at me andmy face feels hot as I hope that they don’t hate me.
“Hello Miss Alanna,” they all say at the same time. I smile at them and then Janet begins to talk again.
“Miss Alanna is going to be working here now, so I want all of you make her feel welcome.” I blush again as the children maintain their stares. “Would you like to say a few words?” Janet says to me. I clear my throat as I greet the children.
“I would just like to say that I am really excited and happy that I am getting to spend time with you wonderful children. I am really looking forward to getting to know you better and I can’t wait for you try to my chocolate Whoopie pies.” Their little faces light up at the sound of my treats and I beam as I am so excited about working here.
The hours fly by in no time and I keep checking my watch, as I don’t want my time with the children to end. I have met all of them now and I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with every one of them. They are all so unique and special in their own way. I have enjoyed playing with the younger children and I have loved talking with older ones. The ages of the children average from around three up to the age of twelve, so there is a mixture of different interests between them. The younger boys and girls just want to play and eat and most of them aren’t age for schooling yet, so that’s exactly what they do all day long. Janet home-schools the older children and I must that say she is very good at it. She doesn’t take any nonsense from them as they do tend to get a little distracted now and again. When I have chance to talk with the older boys all they ask me about is Adrian. Where he is, if he is coming to visit and I have noticed that every one of them has asked me about Adrian’s company. I feel that the older boy’s look up to Adrian and that he is an important person in their lives. I know that they are grateful for everything that Adrian does for them. I feel that the children appreciate him and most of all they respect him. They connect with him because he came from the sametype of background as they do. Adrian lived in foster homes and he went through hell, but now he has everything and I feel that the children want to aspire to that.
“Miss Alanna,” I hear a soft voice say. I quickly set down the colouring book onto the table. I smile at the little three-year old as he looks at me. “I will finish your drawing in a moment,” I reassure him as I turn to face the faint voice. I smile as I see Olivia standing behind me. Her eyes are sparkling and her smile is captivating. She is dressed in white leggings with pink dress over them. I stare at her more and I notice that she is wearing the bracelet that I gave her. She is staring blankly at me.
“Olivia, are you okay?” She doesn’t say a word as she comes closer to me. Her eyes widen and she holds out her arms in my direction. I am not sure if she wants me to hug her or lift her onto my lap. I feel nervous as I stare at her more. “Sweetie, are you okay?” She looks at me as she moves closer. Her eyes are staring through me.
“Miss Alanna, can I please sit on your lap?” I gently laugh, as I lift the little girl across my legs. She wraps her arms around my neck and she softly kisses my cheek. I have to hold back my tears as I take in this little girl’s affection towards me. I grip her tighter and I don’t want to let her go. I feel connected to her and I don’t know why. She reminds me of Penelope, but that’s not my connection to her. I feel love for her deep in my heart and I know that’s crazy, but it’s how I feel. She feels right in my arms and I feel as if I could take her home with me. I want to know more about where she came from and I need to know if there is anything that I can do to help her.
Olivia stays by my side until Janet announces that its lunch time. As the children rush into the dining room I begin to tidy up. I make my way over to the playpen and I begin to pack away the toys that are scattered across the floor. Once I finish, I start on tidying away the books and pens. I slide open the drawers on the large side board and I begin to neatly place all of the books inside.
“You are an angel.” Janet gushes as she makes her way over to me. Janet reaches me and I stop what I am doing as she handsme a cup of coffee. I begin to sip the drink as Janet sits down on one of the chairs. She slides a chair over to me and she alerts me to take a break. I sit downand I begin to enjoy my coffee. Janet is sipping away at her tea and I can’t escape my thoughts about Olivia, I wonder if now would be a good time to talk to Janet about her? I place my cup down onto the table and Janet notices that I have something on my mind.
“Is there something wrong, dear?” I shake my head and then I slowly begin to talk to Janet.
“I just feel sad for the children. Do any of them have parents?” Janet looks more serious than I have ever seen her before and I hope that I haven’t upset her by asking this question.
“Most of them have parents, but not ones that they can rely on. There are children in here who have never known what it’s like to have a mother or father. My job is to care for them and to let them know that someone loves them.”
“How do you stop guilt from taking over how you feel?” Janet sighs. “As long as you try your best to help then there is no reason to feel guilty. I know it’s hard to escape those feelings, but if you are to work here you will need to grow a thick skin. There will be days when parents come to visit and you will see how difficult it is on the children. You will witness a child’s heart being broken and that image will change you forever. We need to be strong for them and to not let our emotions get in the way.” I take in Janet’s words and I agree with them. I understand her opinions and I am grateful for her advice. Now I want to
ask her about Olivia.
“Does Olivia have parents?” Janet shakes her head and her actions alert me that she hasn’t.
“No, Olivia has no one. She has been in my care since she was 6 months old.” “Wow, what happened to her parents?” Janet sighs again and I feel that talking about this hurts her, but I want to know so I don’t back down, I stare at Janet until she confesses.
“Olivia’s birth-mother died during child-birth and there were never any records to indicate who her father was. Olivia has no grandparents no aunts or uncles she basically has no relatives. We did however finda distant cousin, but she was in her twenties, was about to get married, so she said that she had no time to look after her. So we just kept Olivia here withus. My biggest hope for Olivia is that one day someone will have the heart to givethis little girl a proper home.” I feel awful and I don’t know how to respond. I can’t begin to imagine how terrible it must be for her. She has never met her mother and there is no hope in finding her father. My mind is rushing and I can’t breathe as images of Penelope are spinning in my mind. Penelope adores my mom and she depends on her for everything. I am realising just how lucky she is, as Olivia will never have the feeling of having a mother. She won’t get to experience all the things that mothers and daughters do – like shopping. I can’t begin to understand how un-fair life can be.
Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) Page 10
