by Shey Stahl
Her stare drops to Nova at his feet and she winks at Lenny, a gesture she learned from her dad. “Say yes, Lenny. Then you can be my earth mommy.”
Red’s feet shift. “Still waiting....”
Lenny blinks several times before saying, “It’s just that… I’m pregnant.”
His gaze lingers on Lenny’s stomach and then his brows knit. “You’re pregnant?”
Tyler tenses beside me and I squeeze his hand, attempting to offer him something in that moment. I do this because I know it has to affect him in some way that I might never say those words to him. At least not in the context in which he would want to hear them.
“I could have told you that, Daddy,” Nova chirps using a nearby chair to jump on his back.
Lenny smiles tenderly at Nova. “I just found out a couple nights ago. Wasn’t sure how to tell you yet.”
He grabs her shoulders and makes her face him head on and dips his head to catch her eyesight. “Are you serious?”
She starts nodding, holding back tears. “Yes.” She then stares at the ground. “Oh shit, I dropped the ring.”
Tyler’s broad shoulders shake as a laugh rolls out and he whispers to me, “Saw that coming.”
“Her dropping the ring, or you knew they’d get married eventually?”
“No,” Tyler shakes his head, handing me another beer I didn’t know he got for me. “I mean the baby. I walked in on them fucking on his toolbox about a month ago.”
“Oh,” I giggle and cover my mouth. “Yeah, I’ve walked in on them in the parts room. They’re not very careful at work. It’s like they can’t wait to get home.”
“Nova’s there so I imagine they don’t have a lot of alone time.”
“True.”
I can’t even describe the moment Red finds the ring in the grass, him on his knees at her feet as he places the ring on her finger and then kisses her stomach.
Squealing, Lenny spins around and faces Tyler and me, flashing the ring. “I’m engaged!”
“And pregnant!” Hugging her tightly, my throat tightens and I whisper, “We’re gonna be sisters.”
Tyler bumps his fist to Red’s. “Congrats, man.”
Red’s smile is bright, one I haven’t seen in years. He’s truly happy right now. “Thanks.”
“Why did you tell him you were pregnant like it was some kind of deal breaker?” I ask, still so happy for them I can’t stop smiling.
Lenny moves her hands to her stomach. “I don’t know. I panicked and thought he should know I’m kind of a package deal now.”
Red laughs. “Like that would change my mind.” In a quick movement, Red has his arms wrapped around her.
“What are you doing?” Lenny yelps at Red when he hauls her up off her feet.
“I’m taking you inside where we can celebrate me making an honest woman out of you. Right now.” And then he carries her inside the house.
“Why would he make an honest woman out of her? Did she lie?” Nova asks me, curiously wondering what that meant.
I look to Colt, who’s standing beside us now, for an answer.
“She’s been naughty. He’s going to spank her probably.”
My hand flies out to slap Colt on the back of the head. “You dirty old man, don’t tell her that.”
Nova looks at me, and then Tyler, then back to me. “How’d the baby get in Lenny’s belly?”
Tyler and I both stare at her and Colt chuckles. “You’re on your own on that one. I’m too dirty.” And he walks away.
Nova doesn’t even acknowledge Colt, she’s waiting on our answer and I’m thinking at any second she might ask if it has anything to do with a V or a D but she doesn’t.
Thankfully, Ollie, Nova’s little neighbor friend walks up. “I found that baseball we lost.”
Nova’s eyes light up. “Now we can play again.”
Thank fuck.
Tyler laughs and wraps his arm around me. “That was a close one.”
“You’re not kidding.”
Staring at him now, I think back to Lenny being pregnant and his reaction. “Don’t worry,” I tell him raising my hand up to run over his jaw. He watches me, curious what I’m going to say. “We’ll have a family someday.”
He gives me a half smile. “I know we will.”
I’m not sure he’s completely okay with the idea, and I know it might always bother him, but I make a vow right then to always help him through this in whatever way I can. Together.
Leaning in, his lips linger on my ear. “I’m sorry I can’t give you that.”
I know what he’s referring to. A baby. “Don’t be,” I tell him, meaning the words more than anything I’ve ever said to him. “You give me what I need.”
Though he seems satisfied with my words, the sadness still lingers in his eyes. Pulling me in, his lips brush the top of my head. Not quite a kiss but as if he’s drawing in my scent. He sighs and rests his chin on the crown of my head. “I love you.”
The lightness of his tone and the gentle way he says it makes me smile. I know I don’t need to say it back, but I do.
TINY TWINKLE lights shine through the yard and Tyler eyes my drink in my hand. “What’s that, girl?” His eyes are bright, the side of his face bathed in a warm glow.
I smile. I love it when he calls me girl. Reminds me of when I was younger, tying in my past memories to the future ones we’re making right now. “It’s half piña colada and half strawberry daiquiri.”
He breathes out, uneven and shaky. “Oh man.”
I laugh. “Should I go grab a bottle of whiskey and you can pull my hair later?”
“No, I’m off the whiskey these days.” He grabs my ass with one hand and squeezes. “But I’d love to still pull your hair.”
It’s true. Tyler hasn’t drank an ounce of liquor since the accident. I’m not sure he ever will again and I’m okay with that. If he thinks it’s for the best, then it is.
We laugh, his arms wrapping around me.
Turning the music to country, Hendrix asks my mom to dance about the time Tyler asks me. “So, since V and D are going steady….” He grins, boyish and flirty, his blue eyes shining under the lights of the deck. Turning me, sweeping my brown waves aside, he kisses the back of my neck, swaying to the music and holding me carefully. “Does that mean I can dance with you?”
I turn in his arms, raising my hands, I slide them over his shoulders, our bodies coming together. “Only if you promise to touch my ass in the process.” I arch my back, slightly, offering him more.
“Mmmm,” he growls, burying his head in my neck, his breath is like a whisper over my skin, one I have a hard time understanding, but know I need it. Drawing back, he tilts his head the direction of the house. “We could go try out your bed upstairs. I bet you thought of me a lot in your bed.”
He’s certainly not wrong, and I’m about to take him up on the idea when I hear loud voices near the house and a door slamming.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see it’s Rawley and his friend Beck. It’s been months since I’ve seen Rawley, but he still texts me randomly. One look at him and I know there’s something off about him. He’s drunk. Completely shitfaced and hopefully not driving. Beck’s at least sober, somewhat. They both look tossed.
I want to run to my brother, beg him to remember who he’s hurting by showing up here but the truth is, Rawley’s a shell of the person he used to be. If you knew him junior year of high school, and now, you wouldn’t think he was the same person. Even his looks have changed, eyes so dark, deep, and unbound.
Mom steps in front of him, her hands on his chest before he makes his way over to Sophie, which I assume is why he’s here with the way his glare is intent on her. “What are you doing here?”
He studies Mom’s face with eyes we don’t recognize, and then licks his lips before asking, “What do you mean what am I doing here?” He’s looking past her, and then slowly blinks and eyes our mother with a forced smile. “Isn’t this what you wanted, a nice family pa
rty? Well, I’m here. It’s what you wanted, right?”
Mom shakes her head, disappointment in her eyes and a set frown. “Don’t give me your crap. You know damn well I didn’t mean like this when I said I wanted you to come.”
Rawley throws his arms up, carefree and wild, walking backward away from her. “Well this is what you’re getting so take it or leave it.”
Hendrix steps toward him, his hand on his shoulder, warning him with cold brown eyes. “That’s enough, Rawley. Why don’t you go get some food and sober up? You’re drunk.”
“I’m always fuckin’ drunk. It’s what I’m good at.” He shakes off Hendrix’s hand. “And you’re not my fucking father. You can’t just step in and try to act like my father. It’s enough I get it from Red what a fucking loser I am. I don’t need you doing it too old man.”
Rawley walks off, toward the beer.
My heart is in my throat knowing this isn’t the end because I know why he’s here. He’s here to make a scene. I look to Mom, and she brings her hand to her heart. “I just don’t know what to do with him and he won’t talk to me.” She’s watching him make his way through the backyard with Beck.
“You know what, Mom, he’s almost twenty-one,” I tell her, wanting to offer something. I don’t want her thinking his fucked-up shit is her problem. “You can’t fix him. You have to let him do what he’s going to do.”
Nodding, she’s on the verge of tears, leaning into Hendrix who wraps his arm around her. “I know.” She stares at Rawley, and he’s staring at Sophie and scowling as he fills a beer.
She puts her hand on her hip. “You said you weren’t coming.”
“It’s my family’s party.” He steps toward her, sipping his beer he doesn’t need. “Why are you here? You’re not family and the last time I looked, this was a family thing.”
Sophie scowls at him. “Don’t you dare come over here and try to apologize. I know this is what you expect, fuck up and then you can apologize but not this time. This is the kind of shit I was talking about this morning. You know that, right? You refuse to grow up.”
“Oh, I’m not here for forgiveness. We’re way past forgiveness, don’t you think?” He smirks, condescendingly.
“I can’t believe you’re acting like this just because I wouldn’t fuck you,” Sophie spits, fed up and giving him what he deserves.
My eyes widen, as do Moms.
Rawley faces Sophie, his face now expressionless. Nodding slowly, he rakes his hand through his hair. “Sweetheart, I’m not looking to fuck you tonight.” He gives a dismissive nod to her friend. “Ask Kate.”
Sophie’s face blanches. She looks to her best friend standing next to her, betrayal written in their locked eyes. “Oh my God, Kate…. Is he serious?”
Gasping, I cover my mouth with my hand.
Tyler shakes his head and leans into me. “Jesus Christ, shit’s about to get ugly.”
It’s like an episode of Jerry Springer. No lie. There’s a moment right then when I look to Sophie and think she’s going to murder her friend with her bare hands.
“Tyler, go over there.”
Instantly, his body tenses and his hold on me grows more secure. He shakes his head, unsure if he should. “Raven,” Tyler says under his breath, “we should stay out of it.”
Sophie’s friend doesn’t say a word, or deny the accusations. Instead, she brings her beer to her lips, as if that’s going to distract Sophie. My brother’s life is definitely more fucked-up than mine.
Rawley laughs, taking a step toward her, sipping his beer. His voice lowers, but I can still hear him from our place ten feet away. “Hey, I had to get it somewhere. She puts out.”
Sophie huffs out a breath and throws what’s left of her beer on him and then pushes him as hard as she can. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Rawley!”
Rawley absolutely hates to be pushed. Believe me, I’m his twin and if you ever want to set him off, push him off the edge of a bunk bed.
Soaking wet from the full beer down the front of him, he stumbles for a moment and then throws his beer at the fence, the plastic red cup breaking on impact. He straightens himself out and grabs the neck of his shirt and rips it off, throwing it at her feet.
“Pick it up, Sophie,” he says slowly, rough with anger, the muscles in his body tensing with each word. His jeans hang low, showing the tattoos across his lower stomach. He points to the ground. “It’s where you left my heart, so go ahead, pick the fucking thing up.”
Tyler and I exchange a look. He glances around to see where Nova is and she’s thankfully not paying any attention to this, nor would she understand what’s happening.
Sophie looks down at the shirt, and then to Rawley. “I’m not picking it up. I won’t. Fuck. You,” is her answer, tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. “You’re being a dick tonight. Just leave.”
I’m so pissed at my brother for treating her like this I have a mind to run over there and junk punch him.
“Don’t’ go and try and act like a goddamn victim in this Sophie! You did this. You fucking did.” He shakes his head, an annoyance in his glare. “You created this monster. That’s on you. I did everything I could to make you….” His jaw tightens, his muscles tensing. “You threw it back in my face. You broke me. You fucking broke me so this shit’s on you. Pick up the fucking shirt,” he says again, his voice thick with tears.
“Jesus Christ, no! I’m not picking it up!” she screams with everything she has, causing everyone to stop in shock when she slaps him across the face.
He growls out a forced breath, stepping toward her, anger shaking his body.
I’m suddenly afraid Rawley is about to do something really stupid and I push Tyler forward. “Tyler, do something! Don’t let him touch her.”
I would have never pegged Rawley to lay a hand on a girl but he’s not in his right mind and there’s no telling what he’s about to do.
Tyler moves toward Rawley, his hand on his shoulder. “That’s enough, man. Walk away from her.”
“This is none of your business, Tyler.” Scrubbing his hands over his face, Rawley drops them and faces Tyler. He looks at him with pleading eyes and mournful shoulders. You can see the defeat in his whole body. “You know… I know you think I fucked your girl. That’s why you hate me so much, isn’t it?”
Tyler doesn’t say anything at first, he just shrugs his shoulders. But then he mumbles, “I don’t hate you, Rawley.” His lips barely move over the words, as though he’s attempting to keep them between the two of them. “I may not like the way you act, but I don’t hate you.”
“Yeah, well,” he spits to the side, unknowingly near my feet, “I didn’t fuck your girl. I’m not Sophie. Maybe she fucked Berkley and knocked her up.” His glare slices to Sophie. “Or did you take Berkley on vacation with you and show her how to be a cheating whore.”
Unable to stop myself, I cry out, “Rawley, stop it!”
He cracks a sarcastic smile my way. “Raven, stay out of this.” And then he glances at Tyler. “You don’t get to tell me how to handle myself. You led my sister on for months.” He then shoves Tyler back. “Fuck you.”
I can see where this is going instantly when Rawley shoves Tyler and he immediately stands his ground.
Red rushes out of the house, Lenny following him and that’s when I see Nova. I want to run to her, shield her from the destruction that’s her uncle but I’m relieved to see Lenny has her.
“What’s going on?” Red asks, coming to stand between Rawley and Tyler. “Don’t do anything you’re going to regret.”
“Regret?” Rawley’s glare moves to Red. “All I have is regret so what’s one more thing?” And then he pushes Red, his hands on the center of his chest. “Stay out of it.”
It does nothing to stop Red because he’s big as fuck and Rawley doesn’t have any size on him, only they’re right back in each other’s faces. “I’m serious. Back off, Rawley. You don’t want to do what you’re doing.”
“I�
�m so sick of your shit!” He jabs at his shoulder, another warning to back up.
Red heaves in a heavy breath, scowling at Rawley. “You push me again, you little fucking asshole, and I’m gonna fuckin’ deck you.”
“Go ahead! Do it! You know you want to!” he screams in his face, hollow eyes lingering to Mom before slowly shifting to Red. “All you’ve done is look down on me and tell me how to live my life, and I’m fucking sick of it. You’re not perfect. Just because Dad left you the business doesn’t mean you’re Dad. You never gave a shit about me before. Why do you care what I’m doing now?” His voice bellows through the backyard, loud and threatening. I take a step back because his intensity is scaring me. I’ve never seen him like this. “I get it. You’re the good guy. The honorable one everyone looks up to and Raven”—he flicks his wrist my direction—“she’s the brains. Going to college like Mom and Dad wanted. You both have it all figured out. Then there’s me.” He raises his arms up, turning slowly. “The fuck up!”
My eyes brim with tears, my heartbeats fast and heavy at the same time. What happened to my brother? Where’d he go? This vulnerable boy screaming at everyone with hollow eyes and the indifferent glares, isn’t Rawley. He used to be carefree and loving, cracking jokes and be the life of the party. Now he’s fucked-up and broken.
Rawley parts his lips, intent on saying more, but then it passes, and his eyes dart around the yard and to his shirt at Sophie’s feet before locking with Red. Throwing his hands up in the air, his shoulders shake, his body trembling and those bloodshot eyes wavering in their control. His hands fall to his head as he turns around and faces everyone, including our mother. I’m really hoping he notices Nova before he says what I think he’s going to say.
Red lurks near the fence, a foot away, because I think we all knew this was coming. Everybody watches, waiting to see what Rawley’s going to do next.
He throws his arms up again, and screams, “None of you know a goddamn thing! None of you know what my days are like or what I’m going through!” he cries, choking on his words. “Every day I’m judged on everything, but no one takes the time to help me. They just tell me what I’m doing wrong. All I’ve ever been is the youngest Walker boy, the fuck up. You know what, fuck you for thinking you know a goddamn thing, and ignoring it.” Taking the cooler of drinks next to him, he picks it up and throws it across the yard, luckily missing everyone in the way. “Fuck all of you!” he screams at the top of his lungs, his voice breaking and body shaking. He’s crying now, it’s obvious, but I can’t tell if it’s from anger or sadness. Maybe both.
