Tara pulled her knees up to her chest and nodded to her laptop where River stood wrapped in West’s arms. “Maybe you should ask River to be on the album with that song.”
My breath caught in my throat, and Tara’s shoulders lifted to her ears.
“I think you two could have a great duet,” she said, and her eyes faded before locking on me. “A perfect tribute to your brother.”
“Are you sure?” I asked as I put the mug down and took the last bite of cookie.
She nodded, leaning forward and kissing me. “You’re mine. I’m not worried about it.”
I leaned in, moving my body over hers, our fingers entwining. My lips trailed up Tara’s neck to her ear. “I love you.”
Tara’s body shuddered beneath me, and her hands moved up into my hair as she turned her mouth to mine. I pulled away when the front door opened, shooting off her and running my hand over my mouth as we laughed.
“Hey you two,” her mom called as she went into the kitchen. She stuck her head in the living room, a cookie in hand. “I’m going to miss these when you go back on tour, but my hips won’t.”
“I’ll freeze some dough before we leave,” Tara said, and her mom winked at us before going upstairs.
Tara leaned over and whispered in my ear. “I love you too, Adam Beckerson. Now, call River and see if you can convince her to sing on the album so we can get back on tour. I don’t think my hips can take any more cookies.”
“Ha.” I chuckled to myself as I stood and dialed the number. “Hey, Riv.”
“What’s up?” she asked, her voice cheerful. It was nice to hear her happy. My body tensed and I looked over at Tara. Her brows rose, and she nodded for me to continue.
“Ur…”
“Adam?” River’s tone turned worried.
“I have a question for you.”
“Okay?”
“That song you sang at Bobby’s memorial…”
“Oh, that,” she said, and an embarrassed laugh followed. “You’ve seen that?”
I glanced down at the number on the computer screen. “Yeah, me and five hundred thousand others.”
Her breath caught. “Really?”
“You haven’t looked recently?” I asked, and I could practically imagine her face turning red.
“I try not to. You and West are the famous ones. There doesn’t need to be another one of us in the mix,” she replied, and she sounded small.
“That’s kind of why I’m calling,” I replied, looking over at Tara. My limbs felt numb. I was pretty sure by her response that she wasn’t going to be thrilled with the idea.
“Yeah?”
“So…you know we’re recording the album…” My voice drifted off.
“I thought you’d be done by now. Isn’t it releasing in a few months?”
“Ah.” I bit my lip. “Yeah, don’t remind me. We’re one song shor–“
River cut me off. “You can totally have the lyrics if you want them.” my mouth hung open as I tried to think of how to ask her. Tara rolled her eyes.
My mouth hung open as I tried to think of how to ask her. Tara rolled her eyes.
“Grow some balls,” she mouthed.
I straightened my back. “That’s great, but I was kind of wondering if you’d sing it with me.”
“With you?” she asked, and her voice was airy.
“Yeah. You wrote it, and I think it’d be a great tribute to Bobby.”
I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. Otherwise, I would’ve thought she hung up.
“Riv?” I asked.
“Okay,” she replied.
“Okay, you’ll do it?”
She took a deep breath, and it rattled through the phone. “Why the hell not?”
“Perfect. You think you can come to the studio tomorrow around nine?” I asked, forgetting she had a normal life, unlike me.
“Let me give Jesse a call, and then I’ll shoot you a text,” she replied, and the hesitation in her voice made me wonder if she hoped he’d say no.
“Sounds great. Thanks, Riv. It’s going to be great.”
“Yeah, talk soon.”
I hung up the phone and looked over at Tara. “She has to check with Jesse.”
“He’ll say yes. If he doesn’t, I’ll get involved,” Tara said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
My phone beeped.
River – See you at nine. Bring cookies.
Chapter 32
River
I put my head down on my desk. My stomach was all over the place and my body uncomfortably warm. I didn’t have the flu, although it crossed my mind to say I did. A tap on the glass of my door jerked me out of my pity party.
I can’t do this.
Jesse looked down at his oversized watch, tapping its quartz screen. “You’re going to be late.”
I squirmed, crossing my arms. “You drove all the way from Boston to make sure I go? Couldn’t you have done your creepy camera check-in thing?”
“Yes.” Jesse chuckled to himself as he walked in and took a seat. “But this is so much more fun.”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“So.” He tipped his head toward me. “What’s stopping you?”
I threw my hands up. “Oh, I don’t know, the fact I’m going to be singing on an album for an up and coming band and the whole world is going to hear it!”
Jesse tilted his head, one silver brow arching. “The whole world’s already heard you sing it.”
My mouth dropped, and he blinked at me. I pulled my purse out of my desk and stood.
“Fine, you made your point,” I replied, heading out my door. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Take the day off, Riv.”
I stopped and turned. Jesse looked over his shoulder. “You got here at five, so technically, it’s a half day, including the time you’ll spend checking your email because you won’t be able to prevent yourself.”
“Fine. Don’t scare my employees too much,” I replied with a huff. When I turned Amber was staring out the window, drool practically slipping over of her parted lips. I glanced over my shoulder to where she was staring.
West stood leaning against his orange Audi TT, arms crossed and muscles flexing against his perfectly tight t-shirt. He had sunglasses on, and he lowered them, winking at me. My body tingled as my jaw went slack.
“Has anyone told you that your boyfriend looks like David Beckham?” Amber finally seemed to snap out of her daydream.
I laughed, smiling at her over my shoulder as I gained use of my wobbling knees again. “His nickname isn’t Beck for no reason.”
“Lucky,” Amber said before her eyes found Jesse leaning against my doorframe, eyebrows raised. Her face flushed red, and she turned back to her computer with her back straight.
I pushed the door open, and West smiled at me. “Your chariot awaits.”
“My chariot to my own personal Hell?” I said as I slid in and he shut the door for me.
He slid into the driver’s side and reached over to squeeze my thigh. “You’re going to do great.”
“I don’t know why I agreed to this.” I tipped my head back against the seat. There was a gentle breeze in the air, and it hit my damp skin, sending chills through my body as West merged onto the highway.
“Bobby.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “He did always convince me to do dumbass things.”
“I don’t think this is a dumbass thing at all, and the song is already a hit. You could probably sell it as a single on your own,” West said, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.
My stomach knotted tighter at the thought of the video. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get out of this by just recording the song. There would be PR. I didn’t know if I could handle all the questions. I’d ignored much of the comments on the video, but I knew what people assumed. My throat thickened, and I looked out the window.
“You okay?” West asked, his voice soft. “You can back out if you want.�
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“I just don’t know how you handle all of it… the press and what people assume and say,” I replied, looking over at him.
His lips curved up at the edges and he brought my hand up to his lips. “I just don’t give a shit what they say. I know who I am. I know I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m not a cheater, I’m not a player, and I’ve never been that person. People choose an angle that sells, and that’s it.”
I chewed on my lip. “What angle is going to sell this song?”
“Love,” West said, squeezing my hand before putting it back on the steering wheel to turn into the recording studio. He got out of the car and came around to my side, opening the door. He held his hand out and pulled me up into his arms, lowering his face to mine. “You’re not alone.”
“Our song,” I replied with a swallow.
West kissed me and pulled away slowly, making my heart race. “Too bad I have a shit voice. Otherwise, you could sing it with me.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t sell,” I replied, grimacing and he pouted. “You’re really awful. Last time you sang something the dogs started howling with you.”
“Haha,” West said, rolling his eyes as we fell into step.
When we got inside, Adam pulled West into a guy hug before turning to me.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” Adam said into my hair as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I didn’t have much of a choice. This one and Jesse ganged up on me.” I nodded over my shoulder at a smirking West.
“Thanks, man,” Adam said with a tilt of his chin. West replied with a shrug.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”
“This way,” Adam said, leading us into the back. He tapped on a door. “You can go in here to listen, West. Riv, follow me.”
I followed him into a door directly next to it that led to the sound booth. He handed me a pair of headphones.
“We recorded the instrument tracks yesterday, so we just need to lay the vocals. You’ll hear the music through the headphones,” Adam said as I took them. He nodded to a music stand in front of us where the lyrics were laid over music notes. “The parts in pink are yours.”
I laughed. “Thanks.”
“I figured you’d appreciate that. We’ll sing the chorus together.” Adam’s eyes flicked over my face. “Are you ready for our first try?”
My chest rose up to my chin. “How many tries does it normally take?”
“Depends.” His shoulders lifted. “Sometimes it takes a few…sometimes it takes a lot.”
My breath stalled in my lungs, stars popping in the corners of my vision as I stared at the page. Adam’s hand on my elbow brought me back. I glanced over at him, and he gave me a playful grin.
“We’ve done this before. Just pretend the guys are a group of kids.” He nodded to the glass window in front of us. West and the rest of the band, along with a few people I didn’t recognize sat there. West winked at me, and my body relaxed.
“Or I can pretend West is in his underwear,” I replied, and West shook his head as he laughed. My face burned red, realizing everyone could hear what was going on.
“Or that,” Adam replied, laughing. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not visualize that. Jealousy doesn’t suit me well.”
I arched an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged.
“I know when I’m beat,” he said. “You ready?”
I slipped the headphones over my ears and locked eyes with West.
“Yes.”
Chapter 33
Adam
I hadn’t meant to drag River into the music world; she was already half-pulled into the entertainment industry because of her relationship with West. As far as I could see, he’d done an excellent job at protecting her against everything it was.
Chaotic.
Brutal.
Judgemental.
He kept her off the show and skirted around the subject pretty successfully, yet here I was dragging her into the mess the music industry was. I’d already slathered our relationship into it, writing songs about her and now she was on the album with me.
Everyone wanted to know who River was. They wanted to talk to the girl behind the viral YouTube hit that I’d now partnered with her on. They wanted to know about how we’d grown up together, and anything else they could dig up. I’d done a pretty good job at covering up our relationship, not mentioning anything other than our lifelong friendship and how the death of my brother had brought about the song and idea to team up. I wasn’t as concerned about the song as the questions. The EP had been laden with songs about River, my brother’s death and the darkness of my addiction to alcohol. I’d gotten used to skirting around the questions to the point that I was comfortable, but I wasn’t sure what would be asked or what things would be assumed.
I was never as good at protecting River as Bobby, and I feared I wasn’t as good as West either. Somehow, the label had managed to convince both Tara and me that River and I should do at least one radio or video interview. I chose the lesser evil with the radio and asked her to come. She’d reluctantly said yes.
“Just this once. Never again, Adam. I’m not kidding. And I’m not singing live.”
The shit had hit the fan as soon as we walked into the studio and they asked if we’d do a live acoustic song. River went green as I tried to play it off that I didn’t have a guitar with me and neither did River, but the station manager easily produced two for us to use. I wiped my sweating palms against my jeans.
“You look almost as good as I feel,” River said, leaning over to whisper to me. “I thought you were used to this sort of thing. Singing on stage and such.”
I swallowed hard. “Hmm.”
“So, we’ll have you two do the acoustic and then dive right into some questions. Sound good?” the radio host asked, looking between us.
River gave a spastic nod, and I swallowed again as my eyes flicked to where West sat next to Tara.
The radio host’s eyes widened at me, and I realized I hadn’t replied.
“Sure,” I said, my voice cracking.
He used his fingers to count down, pointing to the glass that separated us from the control room.
“Rick, coming at you from PanDemonium radio. We have Adam Beckerson, lead singer from Fade Burn with special guest River Ahlers from the hit single You and I off of the band’s first full-length album Finding Perfection. Welcome, guys!”
“Hi,” River and I echoed.
“The dynamic duo is going to serenade us with an acoustic version of the song, and then we’re going to dive right into the burning questions,” Rick said, wiggling his brows at us.
Burning was exactly what I felt like I was doing. I glanced over at River, and she inhaled through her nose before nodding for me to start. We strummed in time with one another, and I started off the song before she joined me in the chorus. She closed her eyes when she got to her solo, and I bit my lip as I watched her in her element. It was amazing to see her playing and singing at the same time. She’d become quite the guitarist over the past year. Her picking was terrific, cleaner than mine even after years of practice. We sang the chorus together and one more solo for her and myself. River closed the song, and I reached over and squeezed her knee. She smiled at me, and I felt a little bit better about the situation.
“So, we were taking bets,” the Rick said, looking between River and me as he rubbed his beard. My body went cold as my fingers laid over the guitar strings. I didn’t like the way he was looking at us. “We thought that that River here might just be the gal the first album was about.”
My gaze rushed to River. She’d put the guitar down on the stand next to her, and her jaw clenched as she looked down at her hands.
“So that is it.” He chuckled to himself, and my eyes met West’s. He looked like he wasn’t sure who he wanted to pummel first, the dickhead radio host or me. I was on the same page as him. “And now you’re dating West Brighton. You have
a thing for famous dudes?”
River made a choking noise like she wanted to speak but no words would come out. Tara’s eyes darted around the room, a smile creeping onto her lips and my fingernails dug into my palms. Had she leaked it? Tara grabbed the microphone from Rick, and my jaw dropped as the air around me buzzed.
“Rick, right?” she asked, her eyes turning venomous. My heart hammered in my ears. I could feel River shaking next to me and reached over for her hand. She yanked it away before I could grasp it, though. “River dated Adam before he was famous. She fell for West before she knew he was famous. You want to be a dickhead towards anyone, put a target on my back.”
Rick cocked his head. “And who are you?”
“Band Manager. The chick dating her best friend’s ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend who’s her dead boyfriend’s brother.” Tara paused, looking at River. Her shoulders lifted. “Life’s messy, heartbreaking and beautiful. We mend it together the best we can. The fact we’re all in this room and not trying to kill each other is a miracle in itself. So let’s talk about something that matters, like the fact that song is amazing, just like the person who wrote it and the person it was written for.”
Rick’s mouth hung open as Tara pushed the microphone back towards him, and crossed her arms. She arched her brows, waiting for his response. She seemed to have shocked him into silence.
“So…err…you two know each other from childhood?” Rick asked, turning to face us, his voice showing his deflation as much as his face.
“Yeah, we grew up in the same neighborhood. People used to call us the three musketeers,” I replied, smiling over at River. She was still staring at Tara. Finally, she shook her head and glanced over at me.
“So what inspired the song?” Rick asked, looking down at his notebook and then closing it. It was apparent he’d wanted to start shit, but was now thinking better of it.
River licked her lips. “When Bobby died it was hard on all of us. I filled a lot of the time with playing music.”
“Seems like you have that in common with Adam,” Rick said, nodding towards me. I cringed. I’d also gotten loaded before I played. My chest rose up to my chin as I stared at my hands.
Finding Perfection Page 16
