Until Then

by McLaughlin, Heidi

  Monica stirred. Graham turned to look at her from over his shoulder. He missed her while he was gone, but he also enjoyed the time he spent with Rennie. These two women owned him, but in different ways.

  “Hey,” she said softly as she reached for him. Monica rolled over and held the blankets open for Graham. He kicked his shoes off, slipped out of his shorts, and pulled his T-shirt over his head. The moment their bodies met, his lips were on hers, and her hands pulled him close. Graham needed Monica. He wanted to feel like himself again, the person he was when he was with her and who they were as a couple in San Jose. They were in love, they had a future, and he prayed she would go with him back to Washington, where they could start their lives. Monica and Graham made love until the sun rose, and though he was tired, he couldn’t close his eyes and find sleep.

  Graham kissed Monica’s temple and told her over and over again how much he loved her. Tears fell from his eyes as he searched for the words that would change their future. Monica rolled onto her side and pushed her fingers through his hair.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything,” he told her. “I lost my friend, someone I thought would always be around when I went back to visit my parents. He’s gone. My brother is a wreck.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

  “I know.”

  Monica wiped away his tears and placed a kiss on each cheek. Graham was surprised she hadn’t asked about Rennie yet. When he’d received the call, he hadn’t called Monica to tell her until he had to stop for gas. His only focus was getting home. When he called, they argued because Rennie had gone with him.

  “Is there anything I can do?” Monica asked.

  “Come with me.”

  “Where are you going?”

  The words pained him, but he had made his mind up on his drive back. His brother needed him. “Back to Cape Harbor.”

  “To visit? Of course I’ll go. I’d love to see where you grew up.”

  He shook his head slightly. “I need to go home, Monica. My brother needs me.”

  Monica opened her mouth to say something but stopped. Her eyes darted back and forth, and her fingers fiddled with the hem of the blanket. “What you’re asking—”

  “It’s a lot. I know,” Graham interrupted. “And I’m torn, Monica. I don’t know what to do, but right now, staying isn’t an option. I can’t afford my rent here anymore—”

  “What are you talking about?” It was her turn to cut him off. She sat up and pulled the blanket to her chest. “What’s going on?”

  “I didn’t have the time to take, and they demoted me at work. An entry-level job in one of the fastest-growing markets isn’t going to pay my rent. I’d have to get two full-time jobs just to make ends meet. As is, I’m living paycheck to paycheck but surviving. I’ve exhausted what little savings I had driving back and forth. And then there’s my brother.”

  “He survived, right? Is he hurt?”

  “Not physically. Emotionally, yes. He needs me.”

  “I need you, Graham. We have plans for our future. We have a life here.”

  “I know, and I need you, too, but I don’t know what to do. I have to go home.”

  Monica crawled out of bed and searched for her clothes. Graham watched her get dressed, wishing she’d come back to bed with him. “Where are you going?”

  “Home,” she stated. “I have to work.”

  He was silent.

  “Will you at least think about what I asked?”

  Monica came over to Graham and placed her hands on his cheeks. His hands rested on the back of her thighs. He looked up at her and sought her eyes for the answer he desired. She leaned down and kissed him.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered against his lips. She kept her mouth on him as tears fell from her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Graham. I love you, but I can’t go.”

  Before he could reply, she was out of his door and out of his life.

  What if Monica had come to Cape Harbor with him—where would his life be? He would’ve asked her to marry him if she had moved. If Brooklyn hadn’t left, would Graham and Rennie be a couple? He could play this game every day and night, and still, the outcome would be the same. He put his life on hold for his brother when no one asked him to, and now he was alone while everyone around him had moved on.

  Life passed by, and Graham was no longer willing to sit on the sidelines and watch. He was going to put himself out there. He would download every dating app he could. He would allow his mom to set him up, and he would reach out to Monroe Whitfield and ask if she had any single friends.

  As if on cue, Monroe walked through the door, looking as cheery as ever with her strawberry-blonde hair pinned away from her face and in a ponytail. Graham went to her and kissed her on the cheek. “It’s great to see you.”

  “You too.” The lifelong friends embraced for a moment.

  “Here for lunch?”

  “Yeah, and I was hoping we could talk.”

  Graham already knew she wanted to talk about Grady. Roe, as her friends often called her, always had a soft spot for Grady, even when they were growing up. Graham motioned for her to take a seat while he stepped behind the bar to grab her a menu. He took it over and sat down across from her. “So, Grady?”

  “Yeah?” She nodded.

  Graham recounted the court hearing and the treatment facility Grady was living in for at least the next three months.

  “Are you and your parents happy?”

  “We are, and I honestly believe Grady is as well. It took a while, but our dad has finally accepted Grady’s situation and is willing to go to family therapy to help Grady. I expected Grady to beg our dad to get him out of there yesterday, but he didn’t. He’s not happy, but I think he, too, realizes this is life or death, and he wants to get better.”

  “Oh, this is so good to hear.”

  “Hey, how come you’re not in school right now?”

  “Winter vacation.” Monroe threw her hands up and cheered. “This year has been rough. These third graders know everything.”

  “I can’t even remember third grade.” Graham laughed. “How’s my neighbor Shari fitting in?”

  “She’s a doll. Everyone loves her.” Graham asked Monroe what she wanted for lunch. He placed her order, poured the pop she asked for, and went back to her table.

  “I think I’m going to start dating,” he told her. “I may need your help.”

  Monroe chuckled. “Graham, you work in a bar. I’ve seen women throw themselves at you all the time. You’re just too caught up in your head to recognize what’s happening.”

  “Really?”

  She playfully rolled her eyes and giggled again. “Don’t worry. I’m sure I can convince Brooklyn to come down one night. We can scout some possibilities for you.”

  Graham stood and kissed her on the cheek. “I knew I could count on you.” He returned to work but checked on her often. Throughout the day, his friends came in to eat, chat, and see how he was doing. It was like a new leaf turned over with Grady going to rehab. The black cloud of Austin’s death and Grady’s demise lifted. There was a fresh new life in Cape Harbor.

  By the time Rennie walked into the bar later that night, the Whale Spout was packed with bodies, with barely any space to move. The weekly dart tournament had drawn a bigger crowd than average—not that Graham cared. He welcomed the noise, especially a week before Christmas. It wasn’t until Rennie squeezed her way in between two patrons and ordered a beer that Graham realized she was there.

  His face fell, and he quickly turned away, hoping she hadn’t seen his reaction to her. He would never purposely hurt her, but right now, she represented Grady. The good, the bad, and the ugly when it came to him.

  Graham popped the top of her bottle, set it on a coaster, and slid it toward her. “You want a tab?” he asked her.

  Rennie nodded and motioned toward the end of the bar, giving Graham no choice but to follow her. She rose onto her toes and told Graham what sh
e knew about the lawsuit. At first, he had a hard time hearing her and asked that she repeat herself, because surely there was no way in hell someone would sue him. He was, without a doubt, a diligent bartender and owner. He would never serve a minor, let alone let anyone leave if they’d had too much to drink. There had to be a mistake.

  Graham walked away and toward the back of the bar, disappearing behind the door. Once he was in the storage room, away from anyone who could hear him, he fisted his hands and let out a guttural scream. The veins in his forehead popped out. They throbbed from the pressure building. He screamed again and banged his fists against the concrete wall, not caring if his knuckles cut open.

  “Why?” he yelled into the room. “What the fuck did I do to deserve this?” He would never get an answer, because there wasn’t one anyone could give him. He paced the room, small as it was, and recounted every young patron he could. His hands fisted in his hair as the faces of past customers blurred together. Graham would never be able to remember each person he saw over the summer.

  Graham gave up pacing and slumped against the wall until he reached the hard floor. He kept his knees to his chest and let his tears fall silently. He wasn’t a big crier, but he was past the point of holding them back. Every part of his body hurt. His hands throbbed from hitting the wall, his head pounded from exertion, and his body ached. He hadn’t felt pain like this since Austin died. He wasn’t sure how much fight he had left in him. It was like he had won the biggest battle of his life when it came to his brother, only to face another army, ready to attack. Only this time, they threatened his livelihood.

  When he returned an hour later, he found Rennie waiting on tables. She came and delivered unwelcome news, and when he left to go cope, she stepped in and helped him. Rennie saved him again.

  The crowd had thinned out from earlier, but there were still quite a few people lingering. He owed Krista and Rennie an apology for ditching them, but he needed time away, time to process how the hell his life turned out the way it had. What he needed was a redo. He’d give anything to go back to the moment he decided moving home was the right thing to do.

  Throughout the rest of the night, Rennie waited tables while Krista managed the bar and Graham bussed. He liked the change in scenery, the grunt work. It kept his mind on the task at hand, and he didn’t have to chat with anyone. When he was behind the bar, he doubled as Cape Harbor’s therapist, listening to everyone’s problems while avoiding his own.

  It was midnight when Krista clocked out. Graham offered to clean so she could go home. Graham followed the last patrons to the door. Two old guys, lifers in town. They had been part of the team who looked for Austin. Days on end they had gone out, searching. He twisted the lock on the door and rested his head against the wood. Graham sighed heavily, but it did nothing to curb the anxiety building. Now that everything was quiet, he could hear his thoughts, and he hated them. There was no way he had done the things someone was accusing him of . . . or had he? He could admit there were times when he second-guessed handing someone a drink, where he watched them throughout the night to make sure they weren’t drunk and verified their ride status before they left the bar. He had a local taxi service on speed dial and used it often, and if he suspected someone was sharing drinks with someone underage, he never hesitated to call the police. The last thing he would ever want was for someone to be hurt as a result of his negligence.

  He pushed off the door and made his way over to Rennie, who was sitting down at one of the tables, with her feet up. Rennie was crazy to work in heels, but Graham expected nothing less from her.

  Graham sat down next to Rennie. “Tell me everything you know,” he said as she handed him her phone. The print was tiny and hard to read with the dim lighting in the bar.

  “Right before Thanksgiving we had a quarterly meeting, and one of the senior partners, Donna Pere, said she had a friend of a friend whose daughter was in an accident and is now paralyzed. She went on to say the family wants to sue the bartender for negligence. I asked why her friends let her drive in the first place, and Donna called it a ‘joyride turned wrong’ or something to that effect. No one really said much because people wanted to leave for Thanksgiving.

  “At our staff meeting last week, I mention my new case and how I may need some help because it’s criminal but that my clients are family friends. The owner, he’s kind of on my ass about it being pro bono, which is stupid because everyone takes pro bono cases every now and again, and from what I can tell, Grady’s case is easy as long as he cooperates. But Donna, she tells me Lex—the owner—wants her to dig around a little because he’s not happy with the freebie.

  “Fast-forward to yesterday. When I get back from Port A, Donna comes to my office and asks where I’ve been, which I don’t get because I’m a junior partner—I can come and go as I please. Anyway, she asks about the criminal case, and I finally tell her who it’s for, and it’s like this light bulb moment for her, and she tells me I have to drop the case because her client is suing you for serving alcohol to a minor. We argue back and forth for a minute until she gets this look on her face and tells me to drop the case or else, pretty much, and that she plans to use the information I told the team about Grady against you.”

  “Can she?”

  “I don’t think so, but I’m not a criminal lawyer, so I’m not exactly sure. I had Ester pull the client file, which is what you see on my phone.”

  Graham glanced at Rennie’s phone in his hand. “Why didn’t you call me last night when she told you?”

  “I know I should’ve, but yesterday was a good day for you and your family. I didn’t want to ruin it. I didn’t even go in to work today—sent an email that I was on vacation until after the first of the year and went shopping.”

  “So now what?” Graham asked.

  Rennie sighed and looked at her friend. He could feel the pity rolling off her in waves and hated it. “Now, we wait for someone to serve you papers. It could be the sheriff or a process server, and then we fight. I’ll ask Jefferson to take your case, but I’m not sure if he’s willing to go against Lex.”

  “But you are?”

  She nodded. “I am, but I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  Graham was worried. He didn’t want to lose the bar—or worse, end up in jail or with a debt he couldn’t pay. He looked at the document on her phone again and noticed the date. It stood out, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember why. Graham fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his calendar.

  “Ren, I don’t know if this means anything, but the night of the accident—it’s the day after someone broke into the bar.”

  “Did you report the break-in?”

  He shook his head. “I figured it was Grady, and if I was right, my dad would’ve flipped. I had Bowie put in a new door and stuff but left it alone.”

  Rennie’s hands covered her mouth, and her eyes darted around. Graham waited for her to tell him what she was thinking and wondered if they were on the same path. There had to be a connection. What if Grady was the one distributing the alcohol? If he was, how much more trouble would he be in?

  “What are you thinking?” Graham asked Rennie.

  “I think I’m going to place a call to my private detective, see what he can dig up on this girl.”

  “I can’t afford that, Ren.”

  “Don’t worry about it; we’ll figure something out. In the meantime, I’m heading up to the inn to start my vacation.”

  Graham liked the idea that Rennie would be in town for a bit but quickly remembered she had plans after the holiday with her boyfriend, which meant he would be around as well. He pushed those thoughts aside because despite everything, he was going to put himself out there and find someone to spend time with. No more dwelling.

  FIFTEEN

  Falling snow would’ve been the only thing to make Rennie’s morning at the Driftwood Inn seem more magical. When she rose, she stepped out onto her small balcony and inhaled the salt air. A fine mist,
coupled with fog, had settled over the harbor, and out in the distance, she could hear the warning horns from harbor patrol, reminding boaters the water was unsafe.

  Rennie dressed, put on light makeup, and pulled her hair into a ponytail before she made her way downstairs. Christmas music played overhead, and she found herself singing along to Burl Ives as he told the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It was funny to think about how refreshed she felt after being away from the city for one day, even with the looming civil suit against Graham. Everything she knew about the law told her that if the lawsuit made it to a judge, it would be years. Rennie would do anything she could to help Graham out of his current dilemma, and that included calling the man she used for her cases, private investigator Walter Shuff. She and Walter had worked together for a couple of years, and he always yielded valuable information for her. This time, it wouldn’t be a spouse Walter had to look into, but a family whose teenage daughter drove drunk, crashed her car, and, as a result, was paralyzed.

  When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw that the lobby looked like the North Pole. Santa walked in with a red sack slung over his shoulder, and a parade of children all dressed in their cutest holiday outfits followed behind. Rennie suspected that if she looked out the window, there would be a sleigh and reindeer in front of the inn, because her Brooklyn didn’t do anything half-assed.

  As tempted as she was to follow Santa, she veered toward the dining room and ran into Simone. “Oh, good morning, Rennie. I didn’t know you were here.”

  The women hugged. Rennie breathed Simone in, smelling the cinnamon, apple pie, and warmth that Simone carried with her. “I decided to come up and spend Christmas here.”

  Simone squeezed Rennie’s bicep. “I bet Brooklyn is happy you’re here. I know Brystol will be. Go on into the kitchen, and I’ll make something for you.”

  “Thank you, but I think I’m okay with coffee. I sort of want to check out what’s going on in the ballroom.”

  Simone’s eyes went wide. “Oh, you should. Brooklyn is so ecstatic about the turnout. There are so many kids from here and the neighboring towns. I swear I made two thousand sugar cookies.”