Until Then

by McLaughlin, Heidi

  For most of the ride back, the mood in the car was somber. George sat up front, fiddled with the radio until he found a sports talk channel, and then proceeded to argue every point brought up. Typically, this would be an annoyance. Graham didn’t care. He felt like a stack, not a ton, of bricks had been lifted off his shoulders when he confronted his brother, and he looked forward to going back next week. There was a glimmer of hope when it came to Grady, and while he knew he shouldn’t look too far into it, he couldn’t help himself. He was honest earlier when he told Grady he wanted his brother back. He did.

  After Graham dropped his parents off, he stopped at the market and picked up dinner. He would toss a couple of steaks onto the grill, along with some sliced potatoes, and make a salad. Before he checked out, he picked up a bottle of red wine and made his way home. His family couldn’t afford to pay Rennie, but he could make her a nice dinner to thank her for everything she had done for his brother and what she was about to do for him.

  SEVENTEEN

  White lights sparkled on the outside of Graham’s houseboat. The sight of them gave Rennie pause. Not many single men decorated for the holidays, let alone the outside of their homes, especially those stationary in the water. Still, seeing lights brought a smile to her face.

  Rennie stepped onto the patio and raised her hand to knock. The door opened before she had a chance. Graham stood on the other side, looking devilishly handsome and happy. It had been a long time since she’d seen him smile brightly, and it warmed her to think she was part of this change.

  “Hey,” he said as he held the screen door open. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

  “It’s not exactly short when you have nothing to do.” She started to take her coat off and felt his hands on her shoulders. The gesture was automatic for Graham, and her thoughts instantly went to Theo and how his and Graham’s manners were so opposite. She shook her head to clear her mind and shrugged out of her jacket. “Thank you.”

  “Of course.” Graham disappeared up his floating staircase, leaving her to explore his house. The houseboat had an open-concept feel. It was small yet cozy, with a love seat, a coffee table, and a chair that she pictured Graham sitting in and reading a book. The kitchen sink and stove faced the dock, and across from the counter was a small table set for dinner. She half expected there to be a candle burning, but that would send a romantic message, and they were friends. Best friends, if Rennie had to put a label on their relationship.

  Graham came thundering down the stairs with a smile on his face. “What do you think?”

  “It’s cute.”

  He laughed. “It’s small, but I like it. I’ve thought about buying a house, but I love living out here. Come on. I’ll show you the rest.”

  Rennie followed Graham through the living room and out onto the deck. It was wide and comfortable with two adirondack chairs, which had afghans thrown over the armrests; a grill; and a space heater.

  “I like to sit out here,” he told her as he motioned toward the heater. “It can be downright chilly, but it’s refreshing.”

  Graham took Rennie back into the house. He showed her the all-too-small bathroom before taking her upstairs. She remembered Brooklyn saying something about building Graham a staircase, sometime in the fall. “Is this safe?” she asked as she put her foot on the first step and wiggled.

  “It is. If not, blame your bestie.”

  Rennie climbed up after Graham, and when she reached the second floor, her eyes went wide. The bedroom wasn’t grand by any means, but the view from the second floor was what caught her attention.

  “You wake up to this every day?”

  “I did this morning. I haven’t in a long time. I’ve kept my blackout curtains closed. But last night, I left them open, and this morning I watched the sunrise. It was the best damn feeling I’ve had in a long time, and I have you to thank for it.”

  “Me?” She pointed her finger at her chest.

  Graham nodded and stepped closer. For a brief moment, Rennie thought he was going to kiss her, but he brushed by her and went to the sliding glass door. He opened it and stepped out. She followed and placed her hands on the railings. The first-floor deck was nice, but the view from Graham’s bedroom was breathtaking.

  “What did I do?” she asked him, needing to know what spurred the change in him.

  “Rennie, I’ll never be able to thank you for what you’ve done for my family.”

  “I didn’t—”

  Graham held his hand up, and she stopped speaking. “You did, and you didn’t have to. You went to bat for Grady, protecting him from jail. I’m not sure where he would be if you hadn’t stepped in. I believe in the trickle effect. Because Grady is in a better place, my parents are happy. My dad, he bantered back and forth with my mom. He admitted he enabled Grady. These things may not mean much to someone on the outside, but they do to me. My family will never be the same, but we’re moving toward what hopefully is a new normal.”

  “I don’t know what to say, Graham. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.” Even as she spoke the words, Rennie knew she lied. Usually, clients came to her. She never sought anyone out. But when the police came for Grady, she jumped into action, even though she knew nothing about criminal law.

  Graham pulled Rennie into a hug, and her heart raced. She shouldn’t be excited by a hug, let alone his touch, but she was. Rennie rested her head against his chest, and she could hear his heart thumping. They held each other tightly, and the slight sway of the houseboat made it seem as if they were dancing. They hadn’t danced in years. The last time was at a frat party in their junior year of college. That was also the last time they had been intimate with each other. Graham met his girlfriend a week later.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” Rennie asked as soon as she saw Graham sitting on the bench outside of her dorm room. She sat down next to him and set her backpack on the ground.

  “I met someone.”

  “Get out of town, Graham Cracker. Are you serious about her?”

  He shrugged. “I like her a lot.”

  “Tell me about her,” Rennie prodded.

  “We met on the quad. I had to leap over her to catch a football. She screamed, and I thought I hurt her, so I checked on her.”

  “Total pickup move. I’ve done it before.” Rennie laughed. Graham did as well.

  “It worked. I’ve seen her every night since.”

  Rennie’s shoulder bumped Graham. “Are you in love?”

  He turned and looked at her so intensely she had to avert her gaze. She swallowed hard and waited for his response. “No, but I like her. I want to see where it goes.”

  “Then I’m happy for you, Graham Cracker.”

  Later that night, when Graham didn’t call her like he usually would, Rennie cried herself to sleep. Many times, over the years, she had wanted him to pick her. She wanted to be the one he kissed last before he went to sleep at night and the first when he woke. She never considered he would meet someone else, and now that he had, she knew they would never be the same again.

  Graham was the first to let go. “Sorry,” he said as he stepped away.

  “For what?”

  He shook his head slightly and looked at her. “We should eat. Dinner is warming in the oven.”

  Rennie wanted to stay and find out what Graham was sorry for, but he had other ideas. Years ago, she would’ve tackled him on his bed, straddled his hips, and tickled him until he told her. They were adults now, living completely different lives, and this time around, she was the one in a committed relationship.

  She lagged behind Graham, and as she descended the stairs, she got another look at Graham. He wore an apron with the image of a bare-chested man with chiseled abdominal muscles.

  “What is this?” she asked, barely able to control her laughter.

  He stood there with his arms held out wide. “What do you think? Does it look like me?”

  Rennie shook her head and dabbed at her eyes. “Where di
d you get this from?”

  “Krista and her husband gave it to me for Christmas.”

  “It’s priceless,” she told him as she went to the counter. “What can I do to help?”

  He nodded toward the bottle of red wine. “Glasses are in the cupboard if you want to pour.” Rennie uncorked the bottle and poured two glasses. She carried them to the table and went back to the kitchen. She helped where he thought he needed it and told him everything smelled amazing.

  They sat down, and she held her glass up for a toast. Graham did the same. “To old friends,” he said before she could start.

  “Yes, old friends.” They clinked glasses and each took a sip.

  They ate dinner with very little chitchat. When they finished, Rennie helped Graham wash dishes and asked if she could make a cup of coffee. With a warm mug in her hand, she went out to the patio and sat down. Graham joined her a few minutes later.

  “I could fall in love with this place.”

  “The view is beautiful,” he told her. Rennie turned to look at him, only to find him staring at her. She blushed at his compliment.

  “Do you ever wonder . . .” She didn’t need to finish the sentence.

  “All the time, Ren.”

  As of late, she’d wondered too.

  The vibe in the car was contemptuous at best. Rennie was an expert at holding a grudge—even though Theo showed up to Cape Harbor, it was two nights after Christmas. She couldn’t believe her eyes when she opened the door to her room. She expected Brooklyn, Brystol, or Graham to be there, but it was Theo. Even though he came with two dozen red and white roses and a teardrop-diamond necklace, he had ruined their holiday. Or his boss had. Rennie didn’t care where she put the blame.

  Anger didn’t scratch the surface of what Rennie felt when Theo phoned her on Christmas Eve to let her know he had to work. She called bullshit on his story and demanded to know what the hell was going on, because no one would make their employee work on Christmas, and she couldn’t understand why Theo wouldn’t tell his boss to shove it. This was their second holiday missed because of his job.

  Aside from Theo’s absence at Christmas, he had a lot to say about the potential lawsuit against Graham. Renee had always kept her cases to herself, only talking strategy with the partners from her firm, her clients, and the paralegals she often worked with. When Theo snooped through her file, one she had left open on the small table in her hotel room, he suggested she stick to what she knew. Another bout of anger rolled over her. Theo knew nothing about law. He was a numbers guy, always looking for discrepancies. Everything coming out of Theo’s mouth pissed Rennie off, to the point she contemplated canceling their trip.

  Rennie was at her tipping point. She was upset about Christmas, his desire to stay in Spokane, and his butting into her business. They were gearing up for a fight, and that was something they had never done. Little disagreements here and there, but never a full-blown argument. They were a cohesive unit, always on the same page, until recently, and she desperately wanted to get back to where they once were.

  Rennie toyed with the diamond that nestled in the hollow of her neck as Theo drove toward Whistler. His car rack was filled with skis—apparently, he needed different kinds depending on what the terrain was like—and the back seat held their luggage, which was slightly oversize with the snowsuits. Her suit was white with a royal-blue stripe down the side. Theo had picked it out last year after seeing it in one of the stores he frequented. He had a new suit and had encouraged her to also buy a new one, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The one she owned had hardly been worn, and it was like brand new.

  Once they made it through the border checkpoint, the ride to Whistler was smooth sailing. The talk radio program Theo wanted to listen to filled the silence between him and Rennie. She had zoned out, choosing to watch the scenery as it went by. Traffic was light, and every car they passed or that passed them seemed headed for a similar destination.

  “Lots of people are skiing this weekend.”

  “A lot of people take vacation around this time. It makes sense with the back-to-back holidays.” She couldn’t help but take a jab at his comment.

  “Renee, I know you’re upset—”

  “I have a right to be,” she interrupted. “First Thanksgiving, where you don’t even call, and now Christmas. We had plans.”

  “You’re right, we did, and then you changed them without even consulting me. How do you think that made me feel?”

  “I had a rough week at work; I needed to get away,” she told him.

  “And I’m trying to make a name for myself with my company.”

  “Oh please, you’ve been there for years, Theo. Someone lower can work holidays.”

  “If it were—”

  “Don’t say easy. Thanksgiving, I understand, but not Christmas.”

  “You’re forgetting the snowstorm.”

  “Right,” she muttered. Where he lived, it snowed heavily versus the rain where she was. That was another reason she didn’t want to move east. She wasn’t a big fan of the snow. It was pretty, but she preferred it off in the distance, not at her doorstep. She continued to look out the window, hoping she’d be able to get out of the funk she was in. Forgive and forget; she needed to do that, or her attitude was going to ruin the weekend.

  She placed her hand on Theo’s thigh, and when he put his hand down on top of hers, she looked over and smiled. She was determined to make the upcoming weekend one to remember. He adjusted the station to something she liked, and she started singing along to the tune. Before long, they were pulling into the circular drive of the hotel, and the valet was opening the door for Renee.

  “Welcome to the Grandview Hotel,” he said as he reached for her hand.

  “Thank you.”

  “What name is the reservation under?”

  “Wri—”

  “Wallace,” Theo interrupted. He met Renee on the passenger side of the car, smiling. He put his arm around her and handed the keys to the valet.

  “Why is the room under my name?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “When I made the reservation, I think it had something to do with all those appointments you booked. Your name is showing on the email.”

  Renee and Theo walked through the double doors and were immediately enveloped by warmth and liveliness. The hotel was bustling with skiers, and the decorations were still festive but without overdoing it with leftover Christmas cheer. She could hear a fire crackling nearby, and the front desk clerk seemed to love her job. She confirmed the appointments booked for Theo and Renee and offered a free upgrade to their honeymoon suite, which had a jetted tub with a view of the mountains.

  “Just think, my love, when I’m swishing down the slopes, you can watch while you soak in the tub.”

  Renee rested her hand on his chest and rose up on her tippy-toes to give him a kiss. “Sounds about perfect to me.”

  The clerk handed Renee a printout of her appointments, along with their keys. She gave them brief directions of where to go and told them the bellhop would be up shortly with their luggage and that they could store their skis in the ski room until they were ready to hit the slopes.

  They held hands as they walked to the elevator, and every few steps, Theo would stop them so he could kiss her. Each kiss grew more and more passionate. “I think when we get to the room, we should see exactly what it means to be on our honeymoon.”

  Renee agreed. “I think we need to, Theo. I feel disconnected from you.”

  “I agree, darling, but first, let’s get a drink.”

  Instantly, her mood soured. Could he not wait to drink until after they made love or, better yet, call for room service? Reluctantly, she followed him to the bar and sat down on the stool next to him. The bartender was the exact opposite of her favorite one, Graham. He wore a white shirt with black bow tie and black pants. He didn’t spin the bottles on his fingertips like Graham, nor did he repeat the orders. And he worked much slower. Graham coul
d take multiple orders and make as many drinks at the same time, whereas this man would focus only on one customer at a time.

  “What can I get you?” he asked Theo.

  “Two chardonnays,” he said, without asking if Renee was okay with his choice. She wasn’t. She wanted something hard and powerful, something to leave her body with a zing. She watched as the bartender painstakingly opened the bottle of wine, found two glasses, and bent down to pour the exact amount in each one. He scooped the glasses up by their stems, situated them between his fingers, and, with his free hand, set two coasters down in front of Renee and Theo, followed by their wine.

  They reached for their glasses at the same time, and Renee paused with hers midair. She waited for Theo to make a toast or say something to start their vacation off, but he drank and did so greedily.

  “Thirsty?” she asked after taking a sip.

  “I guess I was.” He finished the glass and motioned for a second. Renee thought about doing the same but wasn’t feeling it. The wine wasn’t what she wanted. When the bartender came back, she spoke up. “I’ll take a vodka tonic, please.” She slid her glass of wine to Theo and smiled.

  “Vodka?”

  She nodded. “I need something a little stronger.”

  “Huh” was all Theo said as he picked up the glass in front of him. He downed it quickly. He ordered his third before Renee even had her tumbler of vodka.

  She sipped her drink, growing more irritated the longer they sat at the bar. One drink, and then they should’ve been in their room, reconnecting. There was something wrong; she could feel it in her bones. Or maybe she wanted something to be wrong. Ever since she’d started hanging out with her old friends from Cape Harbor, she’d started second-guessing her life. She felt as if she were two different people. Renee versus Rennie, and she wanted to be Rennie.