Until Then

by McLaughlin, Heidi

  Graham expected Rennie to be downstairs getting dressed and ready for the day, but she was still at the table, watching him clean up. The way she was staring at him made him wonder if she had been looking at him the entire time he was in the galley.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Rennie had never really been a fan of white T-shirts—or anything white, for that matter. Anytime she wore the color, it always ended up with a stain, or after a couple of washings, the brightness dulled, and the item looked dingy. There was one time when living in California that Rennie bought a white duvet with a bright-blue flower on it. She loved it and had it one night before she passed out on it, leaving a makeup stain she couldn’t get out. The same for her white pantsuit and the turtleneck she bought for a Christmas party to go with a red suit coat. All ruined within minutes of wearing. She’d sworn off white . . . until now.

  The galley on the boat was small, only really big enough for one person, and even then, there wasn’t a lot of room to move around. Bowie’s boat wasn’t one of those massive yachts people always dreamed of owning or spending time on when they would see it go by. It was perfect for his small family and a couple of guests, as long as you didn’t mind the close quarters. Of course, not many people traveled by boat during the colder months as Rennie and Graham had.

  Graham stood at the sink, washing dishes. Rennie had seen Theo do this chore a few times but never had he made her stop and watch him. She never cared to, but there was something about Graham doing this menial chore that made her stop and pay attention. As Graham cleaned the pan used to cook their breakfast, the muscles in his arms flexed, and her mouth watered. Why? It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Graham’s well-toned arms before. She had. She was very familiar with them. Maybe it was the white shirt that kept her attention. It wasn’t tight, but she could see the muscles in his back shifting each time he moved, and she could see the dark shadow of the tribal tattoo he had showing through the thin fabric. She suddenly found herself in the middle of a hot flash. It was too cold outside, so what was the explanation?

  Graham.

  As if on cue, he glanced over his shoulder and smirked. Her heart leaped, and she quickly looked away. He was her friend, her confidant. Sure, they had been together before, but that was always just a casual hookup. Yet she couldn’t resist turning her attention back toward him, expecting to find him focused on the task at hand. He wasn’t. He was watching her, studying her. Who did he see when he looked at her? The woman she used to be? The one where all he had to do was tilt his head to the side and smile, and she’d run to him. Back then, they had this undeniable connection. They were drawn to each other. Others saw it as well, and it made dating difficult for them. When Graham started dating Monica, he put some separation between him and Rennie. She hated him for it but forgave him because she understood why he had done it. Rennie should’ve done it when she returned to Cape Harbor for the first time in fifteen years—kept Graham at a distance—but she couldn’t. Or did he see the broken woman shattered by deceit? The one who realized after finding out her boyfriend was a lying, cheating piece of shit that she didn’t care. By all accounts, she should be in bed, exhausted from crying. But she wasn’t; she had no desire to see Theo or even hear from him ever again. More so, she felt complete and utter relief he was out of her life. While she thought she should have felt broken and distraught, she didn’t. Her heart wasn’t aching for him, and her body didn’t long to be with him. He put her in an unthinkable situation and expected her to be okay with it. She never would be. Rennie Wallace was not and would never be a home-wrecker.

  The more she thought about the past couple of days, the more it hit her. She had fallen out of love with Theo the day she walked into the Whale Spout and saw Graham. To her, he represented everything she wanted to be in life—the fun, outgoing, life-of-the-party person who people wanted to be around. With Theo, it was hard work to be the reserved, dull, and boring person he met the day of the conference. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind she was over Theo, and as she accepted this, she felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted off her body. Rennie could finally be herself.

  She stood and went over to Graham. He kept his focus on her until she was by his side, staring into his green-colored eyes that reminded her of emeralds. She suddenly felt like she could get lost in his beautiful orbs for hours. He peered at her intently, never breaking eye contact as he turned his body around slowly. She stepped forward, sliding her leg between his. Rennie yearned to have his hands on her, to feel his calloused hands grip and pull at her flesh. She reached for his hand, and he gave it willingly. They often held hands when out. It was natural for them, but now, as they stood face to face, she took her hand and pressed it to his, and it felt different. Her hand was much smaller in comparison, and he could easily wrap his around hers. She angled their hands, clasping their fingers.

  “Graham, what are we doing?”

  He hesitated before answering. “It looks like we’re holding hands.”

  Always the smart-ass. His reply made her laugh softly. Was he flirting? It had been years since they spent seven minutes in heaven. The night they played spin the bottle, he took her into the closet while his friends cheered and egged him on. He hadn’t cared; she knew that much. The small room, cluttered with boxes and coats, had an overhead light, the type you pulled with a string. When they entered, it was dark, and Rennie expected they would stand there in silence or maybe talk. Graham had other ideas. He turned the light on and told her he wanted to see her, to look at her, because she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. After they shared their first kiss, they were inseparable. They hadn’t needed a bottle to tell them when to make out. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Graham rounded the bases quickly with Rennie, the summer after their junior year. Once they started having sex, neither could get enough of each other.

  “Why didn’t we stay together all those years ago?”

  Graham breathed deeply. “Were we ever together, Ren?”

  His words stung, but he was right. She’d never wanted the label, and when she went to college, she wanted to be free to do whatever she wanted without having to worry about what her boyfriend across town might think.

  “We had a lot of fun in those days.”

  “That we did.”

  “I think we should do it again.” Rennie waggled her eyebrows at Graham, who remained pensive.

  “Ren—”

  “I know,” she said with a shrug. “I just couldn’t let this moment pass me by.”

  He looked confused by her words. That was, until his eyes went wide and then shut instantly as the white blob of suds moved toward him. Rennie dragged her hand down his face, covering his face from his forehead to his chin. Graham exhaled, and clumps of suds flew into the air.

  Rennie giggled like a schoolgirl, and it felt damn good to do it. Graham brought the best out in her.

  Graham sighed, shook his head, and turned toward the sink. He looked pissed, and she couldn’t understand why. When Rennie leaned in to taunt him, his arm snaked around her waist, and he looked deep into her eyes. They shared a moment until his free hand came forward, and he splashed her repeatedly.

  She screamed and tried to get away, but he held on to her. She laughed hard, begged him to stop, and even tried to kick him, but he was far too strong for her. “I give. I give,” she said, completely out of breath. Graham set her down and waited for retaliation.

  Rennie stood next to him, her chest heaving. She was happy with him, happy when he was around. She ran her fingers over his hair, right above his ear, and rose onto her toes. She placed a kiss on his cheek and lingered there for a moment. “Thank you, Graham Cracker.”

  Rennie turned and walked down the stairs. When she shut the door to her bedroom, she leaned against it and smiled. They were going to have a good day. She was sure of it.

  After she showered, did her hair and makeup, and dressed, she found Graham sitting at the small table, watching television.

  �
��Hey,” he said when she appeared.

  “Know what I’m thankful for?”

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “The warm clothes I packed.”

  Graham chuckled. “Couldn’t have planned this trip any better.” He turned off the television, stood, and reached for her coat, which she had draped over her arm. He helped her into it and then put his on.

  The moment they stepped off the boat, Graham reached for her hand, and she snuggled into his side for a quick second before falling in step beside him. “It’s beautiful out here.”

  He glanced down at her and said, “The view is amazing.”

  Rennie should not have been caught off guard by his charm. By all accounts, she should be used to it, but his words put a little pep into her step. Regardless of whether he said the words to make her feel better about herself or if he truly meant them, she was going to believe the latter.

  They walked through the parking lot of the marina, saying hi to others as they passed by. Every few steps, Rennie pointed at something and said, “Oh, look there” or “Look at this.”

  “Graham, they have whale watching and kayak rentals.”

  “It’s winter, Ren.”

  “I know—I’m just saying it now so when we come back this summer, we can do it.” She made a list of things she wanted to do in the summer with Graham. He would be a willing participant, or she would ask Bowie to borrow his boat, and she’d kidnap Graham. He needed a little pampering, and bringing him back to the islands could be her way of returning the favor he had done for her.

  They walked up Spring Street and stopped in a small café to get coffee, only to walk out with hot cocoa because Rennie loved the smell of chocolate. Their next stop was the Trident Bookstore. When Rennie opened the door and bells sounded, she looked at Graham and winked.

  “Do you know what we’ll find in here?”

  He looked at her quizzically. “Books?”

  “Not just any books, but books on folklore, especially mermaids.”

  Sure enough, as soon as they stepped in, MERMAIDS AND OTHER SEA CREATURES was the first section they came to. Rennie walked slowly down the aisle, her finger dragging along the spines of the books. Every few steps, she’d stop and hand her cup to Graham so she could leaf through the pages. Most of them had top-edge gilt, which Rennie loved. For her, the added gold made her feel like the book in her hand was a classic.

  Each aisle they visited, either she or Graham found something to share with the other. Graham showed Rennie a book about the history of Washington. He flipped to the page that told the story of the Whale Spout and of how it had been built from a pirate ship. Rennie added the book to the ever-growing pile in her arm.

  At the checkout, Rennie added a magnet for her refrigerator and a couple of bookmarks. One depicted the San Juan Islands, and the other had the name of the bookstore on it. After she paid, Graham took the bag and slung it over his shoulder.

  “I can carry the bag.”

  “I know you can.” He reached for her hand and wove their fingers together. They continued their exploration of the small town, going in and out of stores, buying souvenirs, and arguing happily when Rennie insisted that Graham buy a whale cut from driftwood.

  “It would look amazing over the bar, and you know it. You can’t deny it.”

  The salesclerk looked at Graham and Rennie expectantly.

  “You’re right. We’ll take it,” Graham told the young kid behind the counter.

  Rennie beamed when Graham said we. She thought they’d make a good team, that she could make him happy. She already knew he did the same for her.

  When they left the store, Rennie carried the wooden whale sign. It was long and bulky but lighter than the books, and she was secretly elated to carry it. Graham had bought something she loved, and that made her smile.

  They crossed the road and went down a side street. Graham stopped them in front of Lou’s Lavender. “This summer, when we come back, we’ll go to the fields. Right now, everything is dead, but I want you to see what they do here on the island with the lavender.”

  Rennie rubbed her hands together. “Show me.”

  He opened the door and motioned for her to go in. Inside, soap, lotion, perfumes, and sprigs of lavender surrounded her. Rennie turned toward Graham. “You know purple is my favorite color,” she stated as she held a sprig to her nose and inhaled.

  He nodded. “I know, Ren.”

  Graham took the whale sign from her and set it by the door with her books. They browsed together, smelling the lotions and perfumes, adding soap to their handbasket, and flipping through the photos of the fields.

  “I wish it wasn’t winter.”

  “It won’t be in a few months,” he told her.

  Wherever Rennie went, Graham followed. And when she would stop, she knew he was right next to her. His hand would rest on her back, or he would bend toward her and examine whatever she showed him.

  After an hour, Rennie settled on a bottle of lotion and a half dozen bars of soap. She took a business card from the stack on the counter and thanked the clerk, who happened to be the owner, for creating such amazing products. They collected their other packages and headed back out into the crisp air.

  “I have one more place I really want to show you,” Graham said to her. She linked her arm in his and told him to lead the way.

  He led them down the street and back toward the marina and into a small ice cream shop. “We’ll take one of each, please.”

  Rennie went to tell him she didn’t like people ordering for her, when she finally read the menu. They only served two flavors: lavender and lavender with honey.

  “Lavender ice cream?” She wasn’t really asking Graham or the young woman behind the counter, but both of them laughed and said yes. “I really feel like I’m in an alternate universe here.”

  Graham paid and took their two dishes over to the small white wrought iron table-and-chair set. “Dig in.” He pushed the cup of ice cream toward her.

  Her first bite was small, enough to whet her palate. She let the ice cream rest on her tongue before she swallowed. “Okay, it’s good, but . . .” She couldn’t find the right word.

  “Floral tasting, like you’re eating flowers?”

  She pointed her spoon at him. “Yes, that’s it. I do like it, though. Can I try yours?”

  Graham pushed his spoon into his cream-colored ice cream and scooped some out. He held his spoon near Rennie’s mouth. She kept her eyes on him as she wrapped her lips around the plasticware until the ice cream touched her taste buds. “Mmm.”

  “You like?” Graham asked.

  “So good. Definitely my preference of the two.”

  Without hesitation, Graham swapped their cups. The act seemed so innocent yet stuck out profoundly for her. She didn’t have to ask; he just did it, because that was how good of a man he was.

  “We can share,” she told him and pushed her cup to the middle of the table. She was all set to start eating, when Graham held his spoon out again. This time, both flavors sat there. “Seriously?” She leaned forward and took the offering. She smiled and covered her mouth. “You know what would be even better?”

  “Chocolate,” he said.

  She pointed her spoon at him and nodded. “Yes. You know me so well.”

  Graham didn’t reply, but he winked. And sometimes a wink meant more than anything.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  After they stopped for ice cream, Graham and Rennie strolled the streets, going into boutiques, where Graham became the catchall for their bags while Rennie shopped. They laughed at the whimsical names for the coffee shops and delis, such as the Bait Shop, which promised the best fish and chips for miles. Considering the town they were in was only one square mile, Graham and Rennie found the claim humorous. Graham told Rennie everything he knew about Friday Harbor and San Juan Island, which mostly boiled down to “When we come back this summer.” He really wanted to take her to see the lavender fields. To him, they rivaled Skag
it Valley’s tulip festival.

  By the time they arrived back on the boat, they were both exhausted. Rennie took her books down to her room and hollered over her shoulder that she was going to take a nap. The idea of a nap sounded like a good idea to Graham. He waited for her door to shut before he decided what to do, but she left it open—his thoughts started to run rampant. He was back to playing the what-if game.

  All throughout the day, they’d flirted with each other, and it felt good. For the first time in forever, Graham felt a deeper connection with her. They were a cohesive unit, always aware of where the other person was, thoughtful, and flirtatious, and she made him feel desirable by the way she would lean into him, stroke his arm, and always look at him with parted lips, which was a tell for her. Rennie didn’t have to be a casual hookup; they could build a strong relationship. Of course, she had said she wanted financial independence and didn’t want children—but if he was being honest with himself, having children was an idea his mother planted and not one he had ever really considered. Otherwise, he could be the right man for Rennie. He loved the idea of her working in the bar with him, and he could easily return the favor if she needed the work.

  Work.

  For the past few days he had forgotten about the possibility of someone suing him. He had a sudden urge to know more and made his way down the small flight of stairs and into Rennie’s room. He knocked once, even though the door was open, and found her lying on her side, flipping through a book.

  “Hey,” she said as he entered. Graham sat on the bed and mirrored her position.

  “Can we talk work for a minute? I know you’re on vacation, but I’m curious about a couple of things.”

  “Of course.” Rennie closed the book, and when Graham saw the cover, he smiled. It was the book he had shown her, which featured his bar. The fact that she chose to read his book sent his heart soaring. “What’s going on?”