by Mia Archer
Contents
Copyright
1: Party Invite
2: Dragged to the Beach
3: Beach Bravery
4: Jealousy
5: Unbelievable Changes
6: Disbelief
7: Shattered Dreams
8: Allison's Invite
9: Claire's Invite
10: Run Down Memories
11: Reunion
12: Regrets
13: Overdue Apology
14: To the Lake House
15: Panic Texts
16: Friendly Swim
17: More Than Friendly Swim
18: Aftermath
19: Morning Surprise
20: Morning Disaster
21: Escape
22: What Are You Doing Here?
23: Idiotic Proposal
24: Stupid Question, Nasty Answer
25: Consolation
26: Girlfriends
27: The Difference Five Years Makes
More from Mia Archer
Second Chances
A Lesbian Romance
By Mia Archer
Copyright 2015 Mia Archer
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Individuals pictured on the cover are models and used for illustrative purposes only.
First digital edition electronically published by Mia Archer, November 2015
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1: Party Invite
"Hey Claire, you going to the party tonight?"
I turned and was about to make my usual excuses that had absolutely nothing to do with the real reason why I didn’t want to go to a party out by the lake, but I was beat to the punch by Darcy.
"Are you kidding? Of course she's not going to the party tonight. You ask her the same question every week, and every week she makes an excuse so she can go off and hang out with her non-sports friends who are apparently more important than us!"
I sighed. “Non-sports friend.” That was how Darcy decided she was going to describe my relationship with Sarah even though we were more than just friends. Sort of. Maybe.
At least I thought we might’ve been before she got all crazy and Jesusy on me and that was the end of that which sucked, but I suppose those were the breaks living in small town America where girls like me either got married to a man and were miserable for the rest of our lives because Jesus, we got a “roommate” we lived with our entire lives, or we kept our big mouths shut until we were graduated and off to college where the pesky fact that gay people existed in the world wouldn’t rock the small town boat.
I grinned as I thought of that. I’d certainly bucked that trend, much to the consternation of just about everybody.
Besides, it’s not like I’d even told them the name of the girl I was dating. They just sort of figured out I was seeing someone when I started sneaking around. No, I’d never tell them who I’d been secretly dating.
A home schooled girl who had the zap put on her and broke things off without even kissing me because her mom got suspicious? Some first relationship! Still, I’d promised to keep her secret and I was keeping it. That wasn’t my call to make as much as it hurt that the closest thing I’d had to a real relationship in school was a furtive secretive affair that didn’t go anywhere.
I turned to Darcy and rolled my eyes. Some people had reacted to my self-outing better than others, but Darcy definitely wasn’t in that camp. Her willful ignoring of what she and Sam suspected was going on with Sarah, even though “Sarah” was just some nameless girl I was dating to them, was a good example of that.
"Come on. That's not fair!"
"Well Darcy isn’t exactly being the most sensitive person in the world when it comes to you and whoever it is you were seeing,” Sam said. “But we’re your friends too, aren't we? And now that you don’t have that girl to worry about there’s nothing keeping you from going out to the lake to party!"
I gritted my teeth. I really was starting to regret telling them that things hadn’t worked out in my first and only relationship. I really hoped that wasn’t going to start a trend.
"Sam has a point Claire," Darcy said. "You can’t use following Sarah around like a sick puppy as an excuse anymore. This is the last summer before we go off to college, and if you don't go to these parties with us now you're going to have to forever hold your peace. Hell, we’re not even in school anymore so it’s not like the goody-two-shoes has to worry about getting in trouble or anything so you can’t use that excuse anymore either!"
I slammed my locker shut and grimaced. Keeping my nose clean was one of my best excuses for avoiding lake parties that didn’t come close to the real reason why I didn’t like going to large gatherings of my peers where alcohol was involved. Unfortunately Darcy did have a point.
It was one of the weird idiosyncrasies of the softball season that it extended a little beyond when school let out for the summer. In years past that had felt so odd going back to the school locker rooms a couple of times after school let out.
Now that all of us were graduated though, let's just say that it felt just a little weird that I was walking down the hallowed halls of my school that I could now call my alma mater when I'd already walked across the stage in my graduation gown.
Unfortunately graduation also meant that my go-to excuse from last year, that I didn’t want to do anything that would get me in trouble at school, was also completely obliterated since I technically wasn’t in school anymore even if I was still eligible for school sports until the end of softball season in a week to a month depending on how we did at sectionals.
"Darcy speaks wisdom Claire. You already graduated. What are they going to do to you if you get caught at one of those parties? It's not like they're going to take valedictorian away from you and cause trouble with your scholarships now. That ship has already sailed, or walked across the stage. You're the one who's good with the words."
I smiled at the near echo of what I’d been thinking. Then I grimaced as I realized I was being trapped by the logical conclusion of all the excuses I’d been making for the past year to get out of going to a social situation outside the confines of a school event.
I’d been friends with these girls for years and they stood by me when I came out even if Darcy wasn’t thrilled about it and still sort of in denial, and in a way I felt like I owed them at least one night at a party after they’d begged for so long.
And they’d said it best, nothing was keeping me from going to one of those lake parties with them now.
Yeah, nothing was keeping me from going out to the lake to party with everyone from my graduating class. Nothing except the real reason why I was reluctant to go out there: how everyone would react. The strange looks from people when they thought I wasn’t looking, and sometimes when I was looking if it was a person who didn’t particularly give a fuck if I caught them staring at me as though I was some curiosity in a freak show rather than the same damn person they’d known since we were all kids. People whispering and laughing when they thought I wasn’t listening to their conversation.
Yeah, that sounded like a grand old time. No, I could do without indulging in that particular tradition even if most recently graduated seniors did tend to spend as much time as possible out at the lake the last summer before college, and sometimes when they were back from college, or reunions.
Basically the lake and the beaches and
the McMansions running along the water were the only social outlets for our small town. I’d say it was sad, but at least it was better than small towns that didn’t have a lake, right? Though the pregnancy rate, that odd indicator of how little there was to do in a small town the country over, was still pretty damn high.
Probably because of those drunken lake parties.
“Look, you know if I go things are going to get weird and I just don’t…”
“Weird? What makes you think it would be weird?” Sam asked.
“Because she decided to tell the world she’s a lesb…” Darcy started, but she stopped when Sam shot her a warning glance.
“Yeah, little Ms. Understanding here is part of the reason. It’s bad enough I get it from her, now multiply that by about a hundred with everyone in our class and add in some booze and you’ve got one hell of a situation I’d rather avoid if I could.”
“Don’t listen to Darcy,” Sam said as she pulled out some makeup and started adjusting herself.
It was a little weird seeing her getting ready for a night out on the town, or rather a night out on the lake. Sam looked good, but that wasn’t something I was ever going to act on. I’d told myself early on that teammates and friends were off limits. I’d made it clear when I came out that I wasn’t interested in any of them like that just to set them at ease even if I didn’t mind catching an eyeful in the locker room every now and again.
Hey, I was only human.
And Sam was definitely giving me something to think about in her current outfit as she did her makeup, but I shook my head and chased that thought away. She was a friend, she was straight as an arrow, and there was no use in even starting down that path. Still, the makeup was different for after practice. Usually after softball practice everyone went home. At least that’s what it’d always been like during the school year and in years past.
That was back before we had a regular invite to the lake by virtue of being in this year’s graduating class. In years past you had to have an invite to go to that party as an underclassman or have parents rich enough to live out there which was its own permanent invite, though I suppose I did have an invitation even then. The senior girls had hounded me last year as well and I’d stood firm.
I was starting to waver now, though. Sam was so insistent. Even Darcy was smiling at me and being encouraging in her own way. She’d been touched by a bit of the small town Jesus herself, but in all fairness she really was doing really well considering her background.
“You really should come along,” Darcy said. “It’s so much fun! There are so many cute gu… I mean you can get drunk and have a good time!”
“I don’t know. I only have so many days of summer left before going off to college and I really don’t want those to be filled with awkward nights down by the lake…" I said.
"Yup,” Sam said. “All our days are numbered. We’re all shipping off to college in a couple of months. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you don't have much more time with us? Maybe you should enjoy your friends and hang out with us while you still can?"
"I suppose you have a point…"
"We do have a point!" Sam said.
I turned to Sam and sighed. I couldn’t quite bring myself to smile. They were looking forward to partying by the lake, it was a post-senior tradition after all, but all I could think about was everyone getting drunk and watching me. Judging me.
I couldn’t wait to get off to college. I’m sure I’d still run into that sort of thing even at college, but something told me it was going to be an environment that was a lot more accepting of a girl of my persuasion than small town America.
“Fine. You girls are on. I’ll go out to the lake party with you tonight!"
Surprisingly it felt good to agree to go to the party. It was a little island of normalcy in what had otherwise been a pretty fucked up couple of years since I came out.
Sam and Darcy erupted into whoops of delight that drew the attention of a couple of other girls in the locker room, but my friends weren’t paying attention to any of the other girls and I looked away just as quickly as I noticed them looking over here because I’d schooled myself not to let my eyes linger for too long on any one spot in the locker room ever since I came out.
"Yeah! Claire’s partying with us tonight!" Darcy yelled out at the top of her lungs.
And there was an immediate reaction from the girls who’d been looking over with curiosity. Everyone in the room knew I was reluctant to go out. They all knew I was worried about getting caught by the authorities and potentially getting one of my scholarships revoked, or my valedictorian spot taken away by administrative action.
By the way they reacted to the news that I was actually going to go out and have some fun you’d think I'd just announced the second coming of Jesus himself, which would’ve been a pretty big deal in this town. I had to admit the attention felt pretty damn good. Yeah, I suddenly felt glad that I decided to give in.
“Damn straight!” Sam said, then she blushed and giggled. “Well, not you Claire, but you know what I mean.”
“Oh we know what you mean Sam,” Darcy said. “Dudes for us and bitches for Claire, right!”
“Yeah, right, except there aren’t any other girls in our class who walk Claire’s way,” Sam said.
“Excuse me? I’m standing right here,” I said. “Besides, I’m sure there are girls in our class who “walk my way” as you so eloquently put it. They’re just not out yet.” I adopted a scary voice like I was an announcer on some old-timey horror movie or something.
“It could be one of you!”
Sam rolled her eyes. “You know where I stand.”
“Yeah, and my mom would kill me if I was interested, which I’m not, so no bueno there,” Darcy said. “Besides, you can just enjoy the scenery can’t you? Aren’t you still on the rebound from dating Sarah, or whatever the hell it was the two of you were doing?”
I sighed even as I was surprised that Darcy finally referred to what Sarah and I were doing as “dating” even if I wasn’t sure that description fit the bill. “Is it really a rebound if I’m not sure we were even an item to begin with?”
Sam reached out and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about her. And Darcy’s right. There’ll be plenty of eye candy even if there aren’t any girls in our class who’ve been as brave as you this past year.”
Girls at the party. I thought about that for a moment. I figured Sarah would be my only opportunity to really explore this new side of me outside of the Internet, but I suppose there were always possibilities.
A bunch of people getting drunk at the lake wearing practically nothing? That seemed like a recipe for a little bit of experimenting. At least movies told me that was a recipe for a little bit of experimenting. A girl could live in hope even if teen comedies and cheesy porn that was probably more for straight men weren’t the best source.
Who knows? Maybe I’d meet one of those girls who wasn’t exactly out of the closet like I was but was up for a little bit of fun. More fun than Sarah had been up for even though she was in a similar situation. It was a pipe dream, but stranger things had happened.
I started thinking about some of the girls I wouldn’t mind being an experimental phase with. There were so many choices who weren’t on the softball team and therefore strictly off limits.
“You know I think Allison is going to be there…” Sam said.
I blinked and came out of my haze for a moment to see Sam grinning at me. A conspiratorial grin that made me wish I’d never admitted that crush to her even if I did consider her my best friend. She’d never let me hear the end of that one.
Allison had filled that best friend slot once upon a time. There was a time up through middle school when we’d been inseparable. Living right down the street from one another and hanging out all the time. Having sleepovers. I found myself drawn to her for some reason. I suppose she was the first girl crush I had, the first indication that boys might not be for me,
but of course I hadn’t recognized that for what it was at first and by the time I got to middle school I was terrified to even think about what it might mean and would be firmly in my denial phase for a few more years.
Then Allison moved away to a house by the lake and it all became a moot point anyways. We drifted apart like so many people did in the great social mix-up that is middle school, and that was that. I hadn’t talked to her in forever.
Only the crush remained after all these years, though I recognized it for what it was: the silly dream of a hopeless romantic.
“Allison? Reynolds?” Darcy asked.
I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “You and your big mouth Sam.”
“You have the hots for Allison?” Darcy asked. “I mean I suppose that’s good taste and all, but talk about not happening!”
I opened my eyes so I could turn towards Darcy and roll them at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
There was a kernel of truth to what Darcy was saying, though, even if I hated that it was true. Allison Reynolds, green-eyed goddess of our grade whose face and body had launched a thousand boners, if not more. She was the object of obsession for just about every guy in the school even if she was completely off-limits to most of those guys precisely because of her goddess status.
And if she was off-limits to most of the guys in the school, the gender she was interested in if her dating life was any indication and not that I paid attention to who she was dating like some creepy stalker, then what chance did I have?
None at all, and it was a good idea to remember that. Especially when Sam was trying to be sneaky and invoke Allison to convince me to go to a party I’d already told her I was going to.
I waved a hand. “You already convinced me to go. You don’t have to keep trying to sell me on this party by pimping an impossible rendezvous with Allison to get me there.”
“Just want to make sure you don’t try to back out on us at the last minute or anything.”
