by Mia Archer
Okay, so maybe Creeper Jr. the sheriff’s son was twenty-one. I was pretty sure he’d graduated when I was in eighth grade so the time line probably worked out so that he was a little over twenty-one. Maybe.
To be honest the whole thing looked like a hell of a lot of fun if you were into that scene, I just couldn’t see myself enjoying it. No, Samantha and Darcy looked out there and saw a bunch of friends having a good time for the last time before everyone shipped off to college or wherever it was that people who weren’t going off to college went. Probably to a job at the local gas station like Creeper considering all the manufacturing jobs around here had dried up a couple decades back but bedroom communities like this one kept lurching on without realizing they’d been dealt a mortal wound and were bleeding out their youth population with each passing year.
What I saw when I looked out there was very different from what Sam and Darcy, and most everyone else out there, saw. I saw people who hadn’t reacted all that well when I came out. I saw people who’d been openly hostile to me at first. I saw people who’d been whispering about me behind my back and spreading ridiculous rumors like the only reason I was valedictorian was because I was sleeping with our (lady) principal.
Which was completely ridiculous, but talk about a vicious rumor that I had to deal with because some idiots believed it no matter how preposterous it was. No, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to going out there and running a gauntlet I thought I was finished with as soon as I walked across the stage at graduation.
And yet I was getting out of the back seat. I was walking in between Sam and Darcy as though they were guards keeping an eye on a known flight risk. It was a little ridiculous, but I told myself that as long as I was with them the whispering wouldn’t start.
There were a couple of surprised looks when people saw me walking by, but other than that it was a muted reaction. Which probably had more to do with the alcohol that was flowing so freely than anything else.
“Look around Claire! Plenty of eye candy!” Darcy said.
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Keep that up much longer and I’m going to think you’re cruising for having your mom disown you.”
Darcy giggled and gave me a playful slap on the shoulder. “Yeah, right. Just trying to help my friend out!”
As we made our way to one of the kegs and stood in line for what was likely the cheapest and most disgusting beer in the county I looked around and had to admit that Darcy did have a point even if she didn’t really have any idea what she was talking about when it came to the attractiveness of the fairer sex. The whole beach was what they called a “target rich environment” in the old movies.
Girls everywhere. It was a cornucopia of every hot girl from our class and even some of the less-than-hot girls wearing practically nothing as they frolicked through the imported sand or splashed around the water’s edge without actually going deep enough to go for a swim and ruin their hair and makeup.
No one ever came to the beach in their swim suit with the intention of actually going swimming. Not the girls, at least. Some guys were splashing around.
There was even a beach volleyball game going on, as cliched as that sounded. Girls and guys bouncing around swatting a ball back and forth. I couldn’t care less about the guys trying to show off, but some of the girls were running around and bouncing quite nicely if I do say so myself. Yeah, to say the beach was bright and full of delightful distractions would be an understatement.
And yet despite all of those distractions I was still scanning the beach. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for until my eyes fell on her. My breath caught.
Allison was walking towards one of the kegs, though not the one I was standing at. She looked so gorgeous in a tank top and a pair of shorts that hugged her body in all the right places, and I found myself licking my lips as I stared. She was with her new friend whatshername, I still thought of the girl as the replacement BFF even though they’d been friends since we drifted apart which was years at this point. New BFF, I never could remember her name, was also looking pretty good, she didn’t have a reputation as the second hottest girl in our class for nothing, but I only had eyes for Allison.
I guess I’d spent so many years trying my best to ignore her, to look away when we passed each other in the halls, that I’d never stopped to truly appreciate just how beautiful she was. She was like an angel walking along the beach.
Okay, so maybe that was a bit much, but hormones were raging and so it seemed like an apt enough description in the moment.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it looked like she was heading for one of the other kegs. Probably a good thing since the only thing I could think to do was stare at her completely dumbfounded. Fortunately an elbow to my side brought me back to reality.
“Get a good look?” Sam asked.
“Shut up Sam,” I muttered.
“If you’re so hot for her why don’t you just go over and talk to her or something?”
“Because she’s probably not interested.”
“Well you never know unless you try. Maybe she’s one of those girls who’s hiding a big secret you were talking about in the locker room earlier.”
Darcy snorted. “Right. Allison? I don’t see that happening. I can just imagine her and Valerie having some big secret relationship! Oh yeah!”
Yeah, I was imagining her and Valerie having some fun together too, though I was doing it for real rather than the sarcasm-tinged commentary from my softball teammate. At the same time I was wondering what the hell had come over me. Why was I acting like a walking talking hormone that had nothing better to do but think about sex? This wasn’t how I usually was.
Maybe it was the atmosphere and being surrounded by all these scantily-clad people. That had to be what it was, because when I glanced back to the keg where Allison was filling up I couldn’t help but notice a bikini strap peeking out from her tank top.
She leaned forward and my breath caught as I saw a sparkling green number that dazzled as it reflected the sunlight. That thing looked even skimpier than the most scandalous bikini I saw out on the beach right now, and that was saying something!
So try as I might, as much as I didn’t want to be the walking-talking hormone, I really couldn’t help myself. She was stunning, and seeing her like this out on the beach was bringing back a whole host of feelings I thought I’d well and truly buried years ago, damn it. Why did I ever agree to come to the beach in the first place? This wasn’t a fun party. This was pure torture!
The torture was only going to get worse, too. Allison straightened up and glanced over to the keg I was standing at. She looked right at me. Her eyes made contact with mine and I was frozen. It was unfair for a girl to have sparkling green eyes like that, though they did match that scandalous bikini she was keeping hidden from the world quite nicely. I felt fire burning in the pit of my stomach that was more intense than anything I’d ever felt with Sarah, and then she brushed a strand of hair away from her face and smiled at me. She actually smiled at me!
It was silly, but that was the most acknowledgment I’d gotten from Allison in years and it was like my body was starving and willing to grasp at anything it could get. I felt weak in the knees. I felt like I was about to keel over. I managed to get a smile of my own out and then I tore myself away from that gaze. It was too much for me. It was too intense. Staring at her was like looking directly at the sun, and I was going to get burned if I kept at it for too long.
Damn it. I needed to get out of here. Many more experiences like that and I really was going to go crazy. At the very least I needed to find a nice secluded spot somewhere on the beach where I wouldn’t have to worry about too many people seeing me, and more importantly where I wouldn’t have to worry about running into Allison again. If I turned into that much of a stumbling dorkasaurus just from looking at her who could tell what might happen if she actually decided to start a conversation?
Not that anything like that was going to happen. I was readi
ng too much into that smile. Way too much. We hadn’t spoken in nearly five years, and even if she was smiling at me and doing that cute little hair brushing move it didn’t mean we were suddenly going to become best friends again. I needed to do what I’d been doing for the past five years and put her firmly out of my mind.
“You okay there Claire?” Darcy asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. I figured it was just a little white lie. “Why don’t we find someplace to sit down and talk or something?”
“And miss all the fun here on the beach?” Sam asked.
She was eying a guy walking past in nothing but a swimsuit, and from the way she was staring I had no doubt exactly what kind of “fun” she was talking about. The sort of “fun” that was off limits to me since I was the only girl in our small school who had the courage to come out and be real about who I was.
I sighed as Sam peeled off from our little threesome, turning us into a twosome. I’d worried something like this was going to happen when they invited me out here. I’d seen it coming and yet I’d still gone along with them. They were going to go chasing after guys, leaving me all by my lonesome to nurse a beer and think about how I couldn’t wait until I got to college where hopefully things would be a hell of a lot better than they were in this small town.
At the very least there’d be other girls who were out so I could do more than look.
“You know you could just talk to her,” Darcy said, sounding suddenly very serious and not at all like the Darcy I knew. “I know some people have treated you like shit since… you know, but I never heard of Allison being one of those people.”
I sighed. There was just too much history there that Darcy wasn’t aware of. Or at least I was pretty sure she wasn’t aware of it. Most people didn’t seem to remember anything that happened in middle school that was outside their own personal bubble of social torture that was the three years from sixth to eighth grade. How did you even approach someone after they’d made it clear they didn’t want to talk to you anymore?
Well, she hadn’t exactly made it clear she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. She’d just made it pretty damn clear by ignoring me once she moved away.
Of course I suppose I also hadn’t talked to her much once she moved away and the drift started, but it wasn’t entirely my fault. It took two to ignore each other, and we’d both done it in spades. I didn’t know how to come back from that.
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“Are you sure? I mean you’re already so brave…”
I turned to Darcy and cocked a curious eyebrow. “What the heck are you talking about?”
“Well you did come out in this town of all places. I figure if that’s not brave then nothing is. Next to that what’s going up and talking to someone you used to be friends with?”
Okay then. Maybe people did remember things that were happening to other people in middle school. Like Darcy standing there laying some surprise life advice on me while also dredging up an ancient past I’d rather forget.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “What harm can talking do, after all?”
“Right. What harm can talking do?”
Okay, so Darcy was acting weird. She was staring at Valerie and Allison almost as intently as I was. I never knew she was this invested in my love life, but at the same time it felt kind of nice to have somebody to talk to about this stuff who didn’t make it all about asking questions about what it was like to be a lesbian.
It sucked being an out lesbian in this town, thank you very much, but I tried not to dwell on that. People usually didn’t like it when I gave them that snarky answer either, but ask a stupid question.
I steeled myself to go over and talk to Allison. What could it hurt? I’d talked to her plenty of times in the past. Just not in the past five years or so. It would be just like old times. Only we were all grown up and about to go off to college now. And she was looking so gorgeous that it short-circuited the rational thinking parts of my brain whenever I looked at her. And that smile a few minutes ago was the most communicating we’d done since middle school.
Other than that, though, nothing was different. I squared my shoulders and was about to go say something to her, she was moving away from the keg now so I’d have to hoof it to catch up, when the last person in the world I wanted to see near Allison appeared.
Derek. Damn it.
4: Jealousy
Derek. The last person at the beach I wanted to run into. Damn it.
I knew it was an unfair thought even as it ran through my mind, but I blamed it all on Claire. Why did she have to be standing at that other keg looking at me like that? That was a fucking intense stare, and for some reason I found myself looking right back at her and actually blushing!
I was still thinking about her when Val and I stepped away from the keg. Thinking about how this would be a nice time to maybe go up and talk with her. Catch up on old times. It had been so many years, after all, and I still thought of her from time to time. Thought about the good times we used to have.
Yeah, thinking of Claire always made me feel warm and fuzzy, as ridiculous as that sounded.
She’d been through a lot lately. I’d thought of talking to her when she first made her announcement that had dropped with all the subtlety of one of those bombs we watched in American history class because old Mr. Thomas was obsessed with World War II and thought U.S. history began on December 7, 1941 and ended on whatever the hell day the Russians or the Chinese or whoever the hell it was we were fighting surrendered.
Only I hadn’t approached her. I felt bad about it, but I also knew I’d never hear the end of it from Valerie and the other girls if I did go and talk to her. I might actually have rumors start flying about me, especially considering my boyfriend before Derek was complaining and giving me the beginnings of my “ice queen” reputation at the time, and so I’d stayed away from Claire and felt horrible about it the whole time, but not so horrible that I actually did anything about it.
And now because I was thinking of going over and talking to Claire Derek managed to get the drop on me. Damn it, damn it, damn it!
“Allison,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you out here.”
His tone made it into more of an accusation than a question. I tried to ignore that he had stupid Stacy Isaacs hanging on his arm. Of course he would go for a girl like Stacy. She was a nice girl but she had something of a reputation, if you catch my drift.
I suppose it wasn’t exactly fair to think of a girl having a reputation. These were modern times, after all, and a girl should be able to do what she wanted whether that was having fun or, in my case, not being interested in any fun at all. When it came to Derek at least, though to be fair none of my boyfriends hadn’t lit my fire yet. I hadn’t found the right guy, but I guess that was small town life and dealing with a very limited dating pool.
“Derek,” I said, trying to keep my tone as flat as possible. “So nice to see you out here.”
My tone made it clear that it was anything but nice to be seeing him out here. He wasn’t the only one who could play that game. I know I wanted to try and be nice. That I wanted to be peaceful and not let the more negative things I was thinking rise to the surface, but as I saw the smarmy look on his asshole face it was all I could do not to ball my hand into a fist and punch him right there. Maybe mess up that pretty face of his just a little and see if Stacy was still interested in him then.
“Yeah, well, you have fun. Just try not to rope in any guys or anything. These are all my bros and I’d hate for one of them to strike out before he even steps up to the plate, if you know what I mean.”
Oh yes. I knew exactly what the asshole meant. It seemed he couldn’t leave well enough alone. And so while I didn’t want to be the one to escalate, if he was going to do the escalating for me then I was more than happy to lob a shot right back at him. I turned and gave him my sweetest smile.
“Oh you never know what’s going to happen tonight Der
ek. Maybe if I find someone who actually knows what they’re doing beyond slobbering their tongue all over my lips and fumbling at my bra clasp I’ll be willing to go farther than I might have with less experienced boys.”
Valerie let out a low whistle at that one and Stacy actually snorted. Her face quickly went back to an angry glare when Derek turned to glare at her, but I could see the twinkle in her eye. I could also see her considering. She raised an eyebrow at me when Derek turned away from her and I nodded ever so slightly. I wanted her to know that I was trying to get in a low blow, but at the same time everything I was saying was absolutely true. If I could spare her a little bit of grief it might be worth it, and if I kept Derek from getting laid tonight all the better.
“You bitch,” he said. “I’ve talked to other guys you dated and I know what the score is. It’s nothing to do with me. You’re a prude, that’s all there is to it.”
I was amazed that I was able to stay so in control given how angry I was. Inside I was a maelstrom of emotion with anger mostly winning the day. Outside I was cool and collected and the very picture of calm.
“Oh yeah? Would a prude wear something like this?”
With a quick motion my hands were down at the bottom of my tank top and then it was over my head revealing the skimpy sparkling green bikini top. Just as quickly I unzipped my shorts and shimmied out of them giving my ass a nice little shake in the process and revealing the equally barely-there bikini bottoms from the scandalous suit he bought for me and never got to enjoy.
Well he was going to get to enjoy it now. Just long enough to eat his heart out.
Once more Valerie snickered behind me then gave a sarcastic wolf whistle even as I felt a blush rising. I might be angry enough to actually break this thing out, something I wasn’t sure I’d do when we were making our way down to the beach from my house, but that didn’t stop me from feeling slightly embarrassed being on display like this. Derek’s eyes ran up and down my body and his mouth worked but he didn’t say anything. This was more of me than he’d ever seen while we were dating. More than any guy had seen, for that matter.
