by Mia Archer
But this was Allison in front of me. This was Allison sharing a moment of intimate pleasure that beat out anything I’d ever done with another girl. This was my best friend who I could talk to about anything once upon a time, and after our talk tonight it seemed like things might be coming back to that place.
I felt euphoria that was unlike anything I’d ever enjoyed before. I felt like everything was finally coming together when I hadn’t even realized how fucked up I’d been because things had been blown to pieces in the first place.
More than anything there was an intense warm feeling beneath all of the anger that was blowing away in that moment, beneath the intense lust that was fueling these incredible feelings coursing through my body. It was a deep feeling that I was afraid to acknowledge, a four letter word that I was terrified to say even to myself because I knew it was way too fucking soon and there were still a hundred ways things could go wrong, but it was there. It was lurking in the shadows threatening to break free.
Yeah, this went so far beyond the “revenge fuck” that Felicia and the girls at the bar were talking about. Then again considering how fond Felicia was of meddling in other people’s love lives it was entirely possible she knew how I was feeling even when I was denying myself and that’s why she pushed me to come out here in the first place.
I could worry about that later though. I could make sure she felt the same way before I went and made a fool of myself saying things that we both might regret. Right now I wanted to concentrate on the moment. Right now I wanted to concentrate on Allison squeezing her eyes shut and panting as she hugged her body against mine and we rode the wave of those intense feelings together.
Unfortunately all good things have to come to an end, including that culmination of five years of anger and tension and lust being released in one moment. There was so much more that I wanted to do with Allison, so much more that I wanted to show her, but I figured this was a pretty good start. This was enough to give her a taste of what life could be like if she would just come clean about how she felt, about who she was, to the rest of the world.
Besides, we had an entire weekend to spend in each other’s company. Something told me this wasn’t the only time we were going to have fun in the pool. There was also a party on the beach tomorrow, and I was looking forward to a repeat of that night five years ago, only this time we’d set right what once went wrong.
Allison smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. We wrapped our arms around one another again and I lost myself in that kiss that was in some ways more intense even than what we’d just shared with each other. When I came up for air she was still smiling. I figured that was a good sign that things weren’t going to come crashing down around me again like they had once upon a time.
“So how do you feel after that?” I asked.
“God that was incredible,” she said. She bit her lip and her cheeks colored. “I didn’t know it could be like that. I always thought guys I was with just weren’t that good, but…”
I leaned forward and kissed her again, but this time it was just a peck on the lips. “I know what you mean. I just got there a lot sooner than you did, but welcome to the real world.”
Allison blinked. Then her smile got wider. “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.”
“So I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink after that,” I said.
“Want me to go grab something from the bar?”
“Got any wine?”
“Sure! Give me a few minutes. I might have to grab something from my dad’s cellar.”
There must’ve been something about the look on my face because she stopped before she was even out of my arms. “What?”
“Your dad’s wine cellar?”
“Well yeah, where else is he going to keep the wine?”
I thought to how wine was kept in my house. On the rare occasion that wine was even in the house it was strictly the boxed variety. Neither of my parents were very big on the booze, though there had been a couple of months there where my mom flirted with alcoholism right after I came out.
“In a box in the refrigerator?”
Allison giggled. “You’re funny Claire. I’ll be right back.”
And with that I was left alone in the pool, though watching her stepping out of the pool, looking at her body in that bikini that had been seared into my memory after that night, seeing the water dripping off of her perfect form, was a welcome distraction.
Then she was wrapping a towel around her which obscured the view as she disappeared inside the house. Not that I could blame her. It sucked going from warm outside to air conditioning when you were wearing practically nothing.
And I was left with nothing but my thoughts. Running over everything that had happened in the last half our. Hell, running over everything that had happened in the last five years that had culminated in that one perfect moment in the pool. In that perfect moment that I desperately hoped would lead to more perfect moments to come!
More than anything I really needed to talk to someone about what had just happened. Unfortunately the only person around here I could talk to about that sort of thing was Allison and she wasn’t around, not to mention that seemed like something of a fraught conversation given the way she’d been going back and forth all night about how she felt about me.
I suppose I could bug Amy, she was always up to date on the latest drama in my life, but I wasn’t sure if she was up this late or what she was up to.
That left only one group of ladies. The girls back at the bar. I glanced over to the house but the big party room, bar, whatever the hell it was, was still empty. Going down to a wine cellar sounded like it might take a little while, though. I figured I was safe enough to pop out my phone for a short while and give the girls an update.
Given how quickly I’d gotten a text back from Felicia earlier I had a feeling they’d all be waiting.I rolled my eyes as I reached out from the pool to grab my phone which was just barely in reach. It was a little ridiculous that they were all waiting on tenterhooks for updates on my love life, but at the same time it made me feel good that I had a group of friends who had my back like that.
“Bet you’re wondering how things are going,” I texted off to Felicia. The response was almost immediate.
“You bet your ass we are!”
“Gee, I wonder if I should even tell you anything considering the way you’ve been meddling this whole time…”
“What ever are you talking about darling?”
“I’m talking about how you knew what was going to happen when you sent me up here.”
“Oh? I have no idea what you’re saying…”
If there was a way for a text message to sound sweet and innocent then Felicia had it down in spades. It was annoying how she could seem so oblivious when I knew she knew exactly what she was talking about.
“Let’s just say everything you probably thought was going to happen when you threw me to the wolves up here has happened.”
“So I take it operation revenge bang was a huge success?”
I put the phone down on the edge of the pool and thought about that. Was this evening a great success? Sure. I just don’t know if I was entirely comfortable with characterizing it as “operation revenge bang.”
Sure that might’ve been how the evening started out, but it had become so much more. This was starting to feel like the beginning of something special. This was starting to feel like the beginning of a relationship. A feeling that was new and strange to me since I’d never been with a girl for more than a few weeks, and in this case I hadn’t been with Allison, truly been with her, for more than maybe an hour or so.
So yeah the night was a rousing success. Definitely not a revenge fuck. Still, that was a lot of nuance to try and get through the limited number of characters I had for shooting off a message, so I figured for the purposes of Felicia and the girls back at the bar I could just send a quick one-off message and then explain things more thoroughly once I was back there and not
communicating 140 characters at a time.
“Yeah, let’s just say the night has been a rousing success.”
A pause in the texting. I wondered what the heck was going on, but of course I should’ve expected the next message given what they’d done earlier. A picture popped up of all the girls in the bar and they were cheering and holding up their drinks and generally acting like jackasses.
I snorted despite myself. They were crazy, but they could have their moment. I’d explain the more nuanced version of the evening when I got back and I had more time. It’s not like it was going to hurt anything to leave them thinking “operation revenge fuck,” as Felicia had so eloquently put it, was something that actually happened. I’m sure more than a few of them were living vicariously through me tonight while thinking of crushes who’d rejected them back in the day.
I’d already had my fun, so I figured there was no harm in letting them have theirs.
I heard the door open and I quickly put my phone down, but apparently I wasn’t quick enough. Allison walked out looking absolutely stunning with her towel wrapped around her waist showing off the rest of her body quite nicely, thank you very much. She had a bottle of wine in one hand and a couple of red plastic cups that looked like they’d be more at home carrying beer than fine wine.
Apparently Allison was in a mood for a little bit of drinking, which was just fine by me.
“Texting someone?” she asked.
I blushed and immediately felt embarrassed. I had a feeling she probably wouldn’t like it if she could see the messages I was exchanging with the girls back home. I had a feeling it would probably run the risk of torpedoing the entire evening, so best to not mention what I was doing at all. And so I told a little fib.
“Nah, just checking my email and making sure there’s nothing breaking down at work,” I said. I felt bad for lying, but then again it’s not like a little white lie was a huge thing in the grand scheme of things. Especially considering what Allison had put me through over the years.
“Hopefully nothing big going on? I want you to myself for the rest of the weekend. Wouldn’t do for you to go jetting off to the big city and leaving me here high and dry,” Allison said.
She put the cups and the bottle of wine by the pool. I glanced at it and while I wasn’t exactly a wine aficionado I was pretty sure that wasn’t a wine that deserved to be stored in a wine cellar. I’d seen it at office parties over the past year and if it was something the office was springing for that meant it was the cheap stuff, though probably a couple of steps above boxed wine.
“Nope, there’s absolutely nothing in this world I can think of that could peel me away from you this weekend Allison.”
Allison grinned as she slipped into the water and filled the glasses. By the time she was done the bottle was almost empty. Someone was definitely trying to get me drunk tonight, and I didn’t mind one bit!
I’d been waiting for this night for five years even if I hadn’t realized it, and I was going to enjoy myself.
18: Aftermath
I leaned back in the hot tub and took a sip from my wine glass. Though I guess it would be more accurate to call it a wine cup. I’d grabbed the less-than-classy plastic cups because I had a feeling my dad would kill me if I broke one of his more expensive glasses even if I was a grown woman, and despite how great I felt after doing what I did with Claire there was still a very big part of me that needed a very big drink whenever I thought about it.
Not that they were bad thoughts. No, that had been so fucking hot. So fucking incredible. More than anything it made me want more. More of her. More of those incredible sensations. Feeling her body against me, feeling her shuddering, listening to her gasping as our breasts pressed into one another, well let’s just say that had been one hell of an intense sensation that easily beat anything I’d ever felt with any guy I’d ever been with.
It easily beat anything I’d ever felt with Kyle.
Poor Kyle. I wondered what he would think when I told him about this weekend, never mind how he’d take finding out this weekend meant there was no more “us.” I definitely had to take care of that before Claire found out that I was still technically in a relationship with a guy.
Okay, I was more than technically in a relationship with a guy. I was living with him, for chrissakes, and he probably thought things were getting pretty serious considering how oblivious he was to my moods and feelings and all the hints our relationship was in a downward spiral.
That was something to think about after this weekend though. Kyle was safely back at the apartment where he was going to stay playing his video games completely oblivious to our relationship coming crashing down around him because his girl was finally indulging in a fantasy that made her realize men just weren’t for her.
No, right now I was going to enjoy sitting here in the hot tub by the pool with Claire next to me and a cup of cheap wine in my hand. I was more than a little drunk on the wine, though more than that I was drunk on the feeling of being next to Claire. Drunk on the feeling of finally being true to myself for the first time ever. It felt damn good, and there was none of the terror I’d felt leading up to admitting how I truly felt.
All of that had melted away as Claire and I melted into one another. Maybe some of that terror would return when the alcohol wore off, but I really hoped that wouldn’t be the case. This felt so good. So right.
It was just going to suck when I eventually had a conversation with Kyle breaking things off. Yeah, that was going to be one hell of a complication. Thinking of him made me feel guilty, though not because I was cheating on him or anything like that. To be honest it didn’t feel like cheating even though that was, by strict definitions, exactly what I’d just done. I figured it probably didn’t matter that it was with a girl. That was just a technicality.
One hell of a technicality, but I still figured he’d see it as me stepping out on him. Particularly since this tryst was going to end our relationship.
A buzz sounded from the side of the pool. I glanced over to the towel Claire’s phone was sitting on. It had been buzzing a lot this evening since we got out of the pool. Buzzing in a way it hadn’t while we were together at the reunion or having our fun in dad’s party room. It made me wonder what had changed right after our tryst to set her phone to buzzing again. Work seemed like a flimsy excuse.
“More people from work?” I asked.
“Who knows,” Claire said, her voice sounding casual enough that I wondered if maybe she wasn’t trying to hide something as well. It was that sort of forced casual that only Not that I could really fault her for hiding thing considering the whopper I was hiding back at our apartment.
“You want to go ahead and answer that? It’s been buzzing a lot and it might be important.”
I wasn’t just being altruistic. Not entirely. I suddenly had the urge to go find my phone and shoot off a text to Kyle. I’m not sure why. It’s not like I was particularly in a mood to talk to him or anything. I just suddenly had a feeling that I should send a message and check up on him. See how things were going. I can’t explain where that feeling came from. Just that it was suddenly there.
Claire sighed. “I suppose I should.”
Reluctantly I disentangled myself from Claire. We were sitting in the hot tub together, and that meant we were sitting practically on top of one another. I’d been in her lap with her arms wrapped around me tracing her fingers up and down my body and sending delicious shivers running through me despite the warm water surrounding us. It felt damn good, and I was reluctant to leave that feeling, but leave it I did.
Claire want for her phone and I went back to the party room to dig mine out of my pants where it had fallen a couple of hours ago when we started our fun. Mine was dark and silent which was a stark contrast to Claire’s which seemed to buzz every couple of minutes.
I guess that was a good sign. If he couldn’t be bothered to text me then maybe he didn’t care as much as I thought. Maybe it wouldn’t crush him a
s much when the inevitable end came. I sighed as I pulled up his name and shot off a text.
I really should’ve felt more bad than I did. If anything I felt more bad about not feeling bad than anything else, as weird and fucked up as that sounded.
“Having a good time with your games?” I shot off.
The response came back after a minute which made me think that yes, he probably was having a good time with his games. I always had trouble pulling him away from the things, though to be fair when I was trying to pull him away it was usually to do some chore around the apartment rather than the fun he’d probably rather be having. And there we were again with that fucked up feeling where I felt more guilty about not feeling guilty than anything else.
Damn it. Why did I even come in here and text him in the first place? Why couldn’t I go on pretending that he didn’t exist for the weekend? Why did I feel obligated to come in here and rake myself over the coals like this?
“Pretty good, how’re you?”
I took in a deep breath and let it out. I tried to get myself under control. I tried to get my body to stop responding to thoughts of Claire pressing against me. I tried to ignore the delicious sense memory I got when I thought of her breasts pressing against my own, though at least this time around I was trying to forget it for a moment so I could have a conversation with the man who was soon to be my ex-boyfriend and not trying to forget it for all of eternity because I was afraid of my feelings.
At least I’d finally confronted that. At least I was finally okay with those feelings. Mostly.
