by R. Cayden
Shawn laughed softly, then traced his fingers over his tip, drawing a sticky line of cum through the air. “Can I touch you?”
I nodded quickly, and Shawn leaned forward, pressing his weight against me as he wrapped his fingers around my shaft. His grip was tight and soft at the same time, and he stroked slowly up my length before landing at my crown and teasing my most sensitive part, earning another deep groan.
Our bodies close, I started to lose sense of myself. I found Shawn’s cock and played with it, feeling the way it twitched in my hand and learning how Shawn responded to my touch. He licked his tongue noisily up his palm, and as I held him in my grip, he bounced his fist up and down my shaft.
“Oh fuck,” I grunted. I bucked my hips, fucking into his fist like an animal. Shawn whimpered back as I ran my thumb in circles over his tip. The slick wetness was such a turn-on. When I finally reached around and grabbed his ass with my other hand, I almost came.
His skin was tender and warm. My fingers found the soft hairs that grew along his crack, igniting my desire even more. I groped at him, squeezing the firm muscles and stroking between his cheeks. The heat invited me in, and I grunted as I imagined how tight he must be. As I made a fist for his cock, I pulled him closer by grabbing his ass while Shawn fucked my fist greedily.
“Oh god,” he whimpered only a heartbeat later. His pretty cock pulsed in my hand, and he shot spray after spray of warm cum into my palm. I hitched my hips, then plunged into his fist, shooting just as hard. The crash of the orgasm pulled a roar out from behind my ribs.
“Cass,” Shawn gasped. He collapsed against my chest, sucking in breath.
I pulled my hand up and held it in front of me. Strands of cum dripped between my fingers, and when I rubbed my thumb and my finger together, orgasmic release roiled through my body.
Shawn turned his eyes to me. They were watery, and his lids were heavy, and his cheeks were turned up by a dazed, satisfied smile. “Wow,” he said.
I chuckled. “Yeah,” I said. “Fucking wow.”
Shawn leaned back and hitched up his briefs, and I followed suit, tugging my boxers back on. I laughed again and rubbed my hand on the grass, wiping off some of the cum, and Shawn covered his eyes, embarrassed.
“How’s it feel?” he asked.
“Your cum?”
Shawn giggled. “That, too, I guess. But I meant being with a guy.”
“Oh, right.” I stretched my legs out on the grass and sat at the edge of the towel, then popped back onto my elbows. “Pretty fucking good. I wasn’t really thinking about that when we were doing it, though.”
“Me, either,” Shawn smiled. He pulled his T-shirt down, straightening it. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“Feeling you whimper and shake like that in my hands? Fuck yeah I liked it.”
Shawn trembled, and I gestured for him to come closer. “I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to,” he laughed, then stretched back out on the blanket, using my leg as a pillow.
“Why would you want to?” I asked.
“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” he laughed. “Don’t you think?”
“Hell no. So many people are putting on an act when they fuck. It’s hot to be with someone who’s right there, feeling every minute of it.” I ran my clean hand through his hair, and he turned his face up to me. “If you haven’t heard that from other guys, then you’ve been hooking up with assholes.”
“Like I told you, there’s not a very large sample to work with.”
“Should we trade notes? I don’t know that my history will look any better.”
Shawn squinted his eyes shut tight. “I tried to date three guys. None of them got any further than a third date, though. And I have had oral sex twice, each time with a guy I met through an app.” He opened his eyes, then smiled at me. “And I jerked off with my older brother’s best friend.”
I tousled his hair. “I have six ex-girlfriends, and every one of them dumped me. And I’ve had about twenty one-night stands besides that, and then this really awesome dry humping session with my high school best friend’s baby brother.”
Shawn laughed. “You said your history wouldn’t look any better! You’ve had a lot of relationships.”
“Yeah, and they all dumped me,” I pointed out.
Shawn rested his hand on my knee and started to play with my leg hair. “Two of the guys I dated, we didn’t even have to break up. It just kind of fizzled out, and we never saw each other again. The other guy dumped me.”
“His loss,” I said.
We sat there in silence for a while, the breeze tossing through the leaves. I appreciated that Shawn was opening up to me, but as I realized how tender we were acting toward each other, I got a little nervous, too. Enjoying his company was one thing, but comparing dating histories, I didn’t want to give the wrong impression, either.
“I’m still not sure what this all means about my sexuality,” I said. “Is that okay with you?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
I thought about it. “I guess because exploring this feels fun and exciting, but I don’t know where I end up at the end of it, you know?”
Shawn pulled himself up, then crossed his legs under his body, facing me. “I know,” he said. “And I know you’re not, like, a repressed homosexual or something like that.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I’ve never felt uncomfortable around gay people or anything like that.” I thought about it and remembered how it felt to have women throw themselves at me because of the band, treating me like some fun adventure. “I just don’t want you to think I’m using you to explore.”
Shawn’s cheeks turned pink as he grinned. “Cass, please, please do not stop yourself from using me to explore.”
I laughed. “You know what I mean.”
Shawn nodded. “We don’t live in the same city. Hell, we went ten years without seeing each other before this summer.” He rubbed the back of his head and tilted his face down, his eyes still holding mine. “And this is really nice for me. If you’re still having fun, I’d love to keep exploring with you.”
I cocked up half a grin. “Yeah,” I said. “It is really nice, isn’t it?”
Because Shawn was right. Whatever was waiting on the other side of the summer, we were in the country together now. And honestly, I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend the day with anyway.
Chapter Thirteen
Shawn
With the windows open upstairs, Cass’s drum set rumbled, loud and clear. Ever since we started hooking up, I’d been leaving the window right above my desk propped open while I worked. Especially when he messed around with the recordings I had given him, it was a nice feeling to hear his drumming, loud and clear, like we were working together instead of alone.
I finished typing out the last sentences of the chapter I had been working on, satisfied with the draft. I’d finally figured out a nice routine for my work, which still included lots of time writing at night. And since Cass and I kept jerking off together in the afternoons, I had a clear head to work after that.
My whole body felt wobbly as I thought about him and what we were doing together. I was in a total dream world with Cass. Somehow, our paces lined up perfectly. His steadiness helped me to slow down, and once I was there with him, it was easy to move together. We each took plenty of space to work on our own things, but throughout the day, we kept coming back to each other, too. He brought me snacks, and after dinner, we watched the stars come out.
I rubbed my face, then turned back to work. A new email had popped up in my box, and I was glad to see the name of my old advisor from grad school. Dr. Freeman had immediately taken me under her wing, encouraging me while I stumbled through my early physics courses. The email was brief, just a quick hello, a link to a job posting, and a request that I call her.
When I clicked the link, it brought me to a research initiative being run by NASA and a few private research institutions. I scanned through a description o
f a data analysis job, my eyes jumping across the technical information. It was pretty standard stuff, taking the numbers that came in from telescopes, scattered around the world, and doing the grunt work to make that data useful for the researchers. The project itself was interesting, figuring out what kind of planets might be circling some specific star systems, but the work sounded tedious and demanding.
I grabbed my phone, then called Dr. Freeman up.
“Shawn, we miss you around campus.”
I smiled. “How’s your summer course?”
“Oh, you know, I’ll never have a teaching assistant as conscientious as you were. Did you get a chance to look at that job I sent along?”
I rose from the desk, then closed the window before Cass started drumming again. “I did. You think I should consider it? I’ve never thought about living in Texas before.”
“And I know you were hoping to take the whole summer off. This starts a bit before the fall. But my old colleague, Dr. Diaz, is running the initiative. She’s hoping to find a few good workers to join her crew and make a career out of.”
“Oh,” I said, flattered. “And you think I would be good for her?”
“Marie’s work takes her all over the world. It’s one of the reasons she’s always losing crew. But I remember that you were resistant to the idea of taking a permanent laboratory job, and I thought a world tour of massive telescopes might be appealing as an alternative.”
My heart skipped a beat. Going all over the world and working at major astronomical research facilities would be amazing. I’d get to see things that very few people saw, and I’d be on top of all the latest research. But working as a data analyst sounded painful, and moving every few years would mean saying no to a lot of other life things.
I shook my head, suddenly confused. The only life things I was normally interested in took place beside a telescope, and it wasn’t like I was rushing to plan my retirement yet. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course. Marie will take my recommendation, if I make one. Just let me know in a couple of weeks, will you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “And thanks for thinking of me, Dr. Freeman.”
“You’d be a good fit,” she said. “Take it seriously, Shawn. This could be a career that took care of you for the rest of your life.”
I got off the phone, then turned back to the computer. For the next hour or so, I roamed around on the internet, reading about the initiative, the research institutions behind it, and about Dr. Diaz’s work. I knew I had the skills to do the kind of data analysis involved, even if I would hate it, and math would be an unavoidable pain of any job, but in my field, there was nothing new about that. But I couldn’t make sense whether travelling the world like that would make me happy or miserable.
“Hey, Shawn!” Cass called from downstairs, pulling me from the screen.
Oh, right. There was that, too. If I took Dr. Freeman up on her generous offer, it would mean saying goodbye to Cass early, too. I knew that the summer wasn’t going to last forever and that he’d go back to his life in Nashville after and probably settle down with some beautiful woman. Already, I had recruited Audrey to help me keep my head on straight and remind me every now and then about the reality of what I was doing with Cass.
Playing and experimenting weren’t exactly lifelong commitments.
But being together, even just like we were? That felt amazing, like nothing I’d ever had before. I had to constantly remind myself that more wasn’t possible, no matter how much my heart was starting to want it. Giving up even one single minute of it seemed painful.
“Be right down!” I hollered. I stopped at the mirror to check myself out and bare my teeth, then jogged down the stairs.
Cass was waiting in the living room, sitting back on the top of the couch. His hair was damp and pushed back, and he wore a tight pair of jeans and a black tank top. Fresh and clean, he was obviously right out of the shower.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I finished those benches on the porch. Do you want to check it out? I thought we could take some leftovers out there and watch the sunset.”
“Sure,” I said. “I wasn’t really getting any writing done anyway.”
“Slow day?”
We walked into the kitchen. Without saying a thing about it, we each took a different task, mixing together a couple nights’ worth of leftovers into a meal.
“My old professor emailed me about an entry-level research job she thinks I should consider,” I explained.
“That’s good, right?”
I scooped some mac and cheese onto a plate. “It’s kind of good.” I thought about it but decided not to mention the timeline. Even suggesting I would leave early might pop the bubble we were floating in. “I’m just not sure it’s the kind of work I want to do.”
Cass dropped a few ears of corn in a bowl, then tossed it in the microwave. “Right. You want to keep writing your book. Have you told your old professor that?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No. She’s the busiest person I’ve ever met. I don’t want to bother her with that.”
Cass’s hand landed on the small of my back as he reached to open the cupboard above me, sending a shock through my muscles. “She thought to reach out to you about the job, didn’t she? It sounds like she might care.”
“Maybe I’ll mention it. But unless I sell this book to a publisher, it’s not going to make me money, and that’s still a long way away. I’m not really in a position to turn down a good job.”
“I know what that’s like.” He grabbed a bottle of wine and tucked it under his arm. “I’ll be happy working another carpentry job to pay my bills. That’s good money and good work. But the second I’m back in Nashville, I’m going to have to cave and start drumming for some shitty house band at an equally shitty tourist bar, just to stay in practice.”
“How long do you think until another band you like comes along?”
“It’s anyone’s guess. Could be a week, could be never. There’s not really a science to that kind of thing.”
We made our way back to the studio. I was surprised at how much progress Cass had made so quickly. Among other changes, there were two beautiful benches built into the porch, curved in toward each other but facing the hillside. As we approached, the sun was inching toward the tree line and setting behind a distant horizon. Cass poured us each a glass of wine, I got him to tell me more about the career musicians he spent his days with, and as we ate, the sky turned pink around us.
He looked over the view, his eyes set to the distance, then reached back to rub his shoulder.
“Are you hurt?”
“No, just a little sore.”
I set my plate at my feet. “Do you want a shoulder rub?”
He grinned, a wolfish look filling his face. “You know I’m not going to turn that down.”
I went and stood behind him, and Cass tossed his shirt to the side. His shoulders were ropey with muscles, and I had to squeeze hard to sink my fingers into his flesh. I pawed around at first, not really sure what I was doing but still enjoying the give of his muscles and the heat of his skin. When I pressed my thumbs in behind his shoulder blades, he let out a deep moan.
“That’s the spot.”
I kept my thumb there, working it in. “I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I admitted. “Feedback is appreciated.”
“You’re doing great, babe,” he answered, relaxing back against the beach.
I blushed to hear him call me that. Babe. But Cass said it so naturally, so easily, it just felt right, too.
Kind of like how it felt so right to massage him. His body melted and relaxed under my touch, and I took satisfaction in knowing that I was helping him to feel good. He was working so hard on the studio that our family would enjoy for years. It only seemed right to help him with his aches and pains. I took in a deep breath, inhaling his scent, and trusted my instincts as I worked the knots in his muscles with a steady, rhythmic rub.
“You know, there’s one thing you could do to improve the massage,” he said, his voice slow and deep.
I pushed my hands down his back, then grabbed at his chest from behind, my cheek pressed to the back of his head. “You want a full body massage now? Because that might require a trade.”
Cass placed his hand over mine with a squeeze. “That could be arranged. I was just going to try to get you naked.”
I laughed and released him to toss my shirt aside. The evening was just starting to cool, and the breeze kissed my skin. “It’s not fair if I’m the only naked one,” I pointed out.
Cass stood, then set his eyes straight onto me. His gaze burned my skin. I loved how much he liked watching me, because whenever he had a look like that in his eyes, it felt a lot easier to feel like I was actually hot. There were all these parts of my body that I had decided were bad, like my slim hips and the way my cheeks turned pink so easily, but those were the exact parts that Cass got off on.
I traced my finger over my nipple, hard in the evening chill. “You first?” I asked with a soft breath.
Cass unzipped his jeans, then kicked his pants aside. He was already rock hard, the flare of his crown purple, and his sack hung heavily in the air. I traced my eyes up and down his firm body, enjoying the view as much as I was enjoying him staring at me, hungry.
Finally satisfied, I finished undressing, swaying my hips while I teased my shorts and briefs down. It was fun to play around, to spin and show him my ass and even bounce my cheeks a little while he growled. I felt free with him in ways I never had been before, like I could finally be playful.
Cass crossed the porch, grabbed my briefs out of my hand, and then tossed them aside as he took me into a deep kiss. I wriggled against his body until we finally came up for air.
“Is this traditionally part of a massage?”
Cass laughed, then grabbed me by the side and spun me in the air. I laughed along, my legs flying out behind, until he set me down with another kiss.
“It’s the best part,” he said. “If you ever go to a massage parlor, make sure to demand the naked spin after.”
