by R. Cayden
I tossed him to the bed and climbed in after. The morning light was just coming through the windows, and the birds called outside. His mattress was nice and firm beneath us, and the sheets were soft on my skin.
“I’m sorry that I was acting kind of off the last few days,” I said.
Shawn stretched out beside me, our foreheads close and our toes, knees, and fingers touching. “It’s okay. I wish I could have done more to cheer you up.”
I pressed my lips to his quickly. “You did everything, babe,” I said. “You really did.”
Shawn and I started kissing again. We rolled back and forth together as we tossed our clothes off. His body was so familiar to me now. After months together, I knew just how to hold him and stroke him and lick him.
And for the rest of the morning, that’s what we did. Slow at first, and then faster, we rubbed up on each other, drawing closer and closer to climax. I took Shawn’s cock between my lips, so stiff that desire throbbed at my base. And when my fingers found their way to his hole, teasing his entrance, the tug of his rim lit me up the rest of the way, igniting my need for something more later. My hands searched for every part of his body that I could tease, and I drew orgasm after orgasm from him until we both lay together, sweaty and spent.
“Wow,” Shawn said. He took his glasses from the nightstand and turned to me, tangling our naked bodies back together. “I don’t think I’ve ever come that many times.”
I chuckled and stroked his side. “I bet you I can get some more out of you later.”
He laughed and buried his face in my chest. “You can try.”
When I looked at him, I remembered how proud I was that he had turned down the job. He’d decided to believe in himself, and having been a part of that left me pretty damn satisfied.
I hadn’t ever been in love before, but I knew that when you loved someone, you supported them. And if Shawn were going to keep writing, I realized that there was a way I could truly help him do that.
A way I could make his dreams real.
My eyes closed, I traced over the details of a plan that was slowly coming into focus. “Hey, Shawn, can I ask you on a date?”
Shawn sat up slightly. “A date?”
“Just here at the house. Nothing fancy. Maybe the night after next?”
“Sure. Yeah, Cass.” His cheeks were already flushed, but the dimpled curve in his smile told me he’d be blushing otherwise. “It’s a date.”
I grinned as I sat up. “Dope. I’m going to head out to the studio for the afternoon. Come by and interrupt me if you want to take a break.” I leaned down and brushed a quick kiss across his lips. “See you later, babe.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Shawn
For a couple days, things were like normal again with Cass. We worked on our projects and lingered over each other’s touch in the kitchen, and when night came, I fell asleep curled up close to him again, cocooned in his heat. I wasn’t sure where the transformation had come from, but like magic, I could reach him just as easily as I had before.
I even managed to get back into my book, working through a few challenging sections while Cass slipped off to work on installing the shower in the studio during the afternoon, then reading the paragraphs to him later to make sure everything made sense to someone without a science background. Clearing the air between us helped me to focus, but I was driven just as much by a new creeping panic.
Either finish the book and sell it to a publisher, or fall flat on my face in front of everyone I cared about, including Cass.
At least that pressure helped distract from the reality that he was leaving. A couple times, while lying in bed together, I’d almost told him how I felt. The impulse to say it to him—I love you—was so strong holding the words in hurt. But even with Cass acting sweet and charming, I still hesitated, scared it would ruin the precious time we had left.
Maybe I’d have a chance to say something at the date night. I had no idea what he had planned. Still, though, just asking me on a proper date was enough to stir up the butterflies in my belly, and my hands danced nervously as I fussed with myself in front of the mirror, getting ready that evening.
I wore a collared white shirt, plain but handsome. Cass had complimented it once before, and I knew the fit flattered me. Plus, I figured dressing up a little showed that I appreciated him asking me out in the first place. After brushing my teeth, I re-tucked my shirt into my jeans for the millionth time, then headed out to the studio to meet Cass.
It was a beautiful night, one of the first since July had turned over to August. The air still held the heat of the day, but a cooler breeze tossed through the trees. The moon was waxing close to full, high enough in the sky that it cast a gray light on the path as I made my way back to Cass.
He was standing on the porch and looking out over the hills, his back to me. I noticed that he had pulled the telescope out, setting it up on the edge of the porch, and that some of the Christmas lights were hanging from the awning. When he heard me, he turned, his face opening with a smile.
He tugged the front of the white collared shirt he was wearing. “We match,” he laughed.
I checked out his outfit. He also had on a pair of jeans and the stylish boots I’d only seen him wear in the city. He wore his shirt undone at the top, and as I got closer, I saw the dark hairs of his chest, just barely visible.
“You look very handsome,” I said, greeting him with a kiss.
He pulled me close. “You’re beautiful and sexy as always.”
I pursed my lips in a pleased, shy smile. “Thank you.”
Cass grabbed a bottle of wine that was waiting at hand and poured us each a glass. “Is there a special occasion?” I asked as I accepted mine.
“Maybe a couple,” he said, then clinked his glass against mine. “First, to celebrate your professor liking the chapters you sent.”
I laughed. “We’ve been celebrating that for a couple of days.”
“And we’ll celebrate more later,” he said with a low growl.
I grinned, glad to hear it. “What else, then?”
Cass turned to the hillside and started to cast his eyes about the sky, trailing his gaze up and around. “I wanted to show you something,” he said, then pointed. “There.”
I stepped up behind him and rested my hand on his shoulder. I followed the line of his arm up to the sky, searching. “What are you pointing at?”
Cass squatted down a little and leaned closer to me. “That blurry thing. Right there.”
“Oh!” I said, my eyes catching on the distant object. “That’s Andromeda.”
Cass kissed me on the cheek. “I know. I looked it up. You told me it was your favorite thing to look at in the sky, remember? But that was months ago, before it was really visible.”
I blinked, startled. “You remembered that?”
He shrugged. “It’s your favorite. It took me forever to find the damn thing, though. I’ve been Googling it at night and then rushing out here to try to spot it again.” He turned from me back up to the sky. “Fuck! It’s gone again.”
“Yeah,” I laughed. “It’s really easy to lose stuff out there.”
“I’m not sure I understand it. I know it’s a galaxy like ours, but outside of that, everything I read seemed like nonsense.”
I nodded. “Here, give me your fists.”
Cass arched an eyebrow. “Why, Shawn…”
I snorted out a laugh. “Cass! Not like that.”
He chuckled as he extended his hands, both tightened into fists. “Here you go.”
I took one of his fists, then moved it so Cass’s arm was sticking out to the side. “This fist is the Milky Way galaxy,” I said. “That’s the billions of stars where we live.”
“Right.”
I took his other fist, then stuck it straight out in the other direction. “And this is the Andromeda Galaxy. It’s about the same size as the Milky Way, and it looks really similar, too.”
“Right, I saw some
pictures online.”
I stepped back, then waved my hand in front of him, gesturing across his chest and his arms. “The rest of this,” I explained, “is pretty much empty space. Millions of light years with barely any stars, just space dust and some gas clouds and weird molecules floating around, as close to nothing as you get in outer space. And around the Milky Way and Andromeda, too, for a long stretch into the distance, there’s just a big open void.”
“So it’s only us and Andromeda, floating there and looking at each other for eternity?”
I shook my head. “Not quite.” I placed my hands on his shoulders, then spun him around. “The Milky Way and Andromeda are orbiting each other, spinning in the same circle.” I stopped him, then grabbed his wrists and gave him a kiss. “And over time, we keep spinning a little bit closer and a little bit closer.” I pulled his arms in, bringing his hands together. “We each have some tiny little galaxies that we carry close with us, and they come along too. And in four billion years, the Milky Way and Andromeda will spin so close that they collide and combine into an even bigger and more powerful galaxy.”
Cass grabbed me by the side and kissed me. “Galaxy collisions.”
“Astronomy is badass. A drummer told me one time.”
“Fuck yeah it is.”
I answered a few of his questions, happy just that he had remembered I mentioned Andromeda in the first place. When Cass prompted me, I took a second to line the telescope up and give us a better view. The bright light white in the center of the galaxy shone clearly against the night sky, and the milky blue spirals of stars that stretched from its center made a sparkling halo.
Cass stepped back from the telescope. “Thanks for showing me.”
“Andromeda coming back into view is the perfect occasion for a date. Thank you.”
He pushed his hand through his hair. “I hope you like the next part, too. Take a seat.”
I raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask any questions. As I settled in on the bench, Cass turned to his drum set, which was sitting under the awning. “I’ve been thinking about this summer,” he said, “and how it’s nice been out here with you.”
A little knot of emotion formed in my chest. “Yeah?”
He took a seat at the drum set, then rolled up his sleeves while he talked, revealing the dark ink of his arm tattoos. “I could only see that little blurry cloud in the sky when I went looking for Andromeda on my own. But, well, it was enough for this.”
Without saying another word, Cass turned to the drum set. He tapped his stick on the edge of a snare a few times, then drew out a gentle, rolling rhythm. His face turned peaceful as he followed the beat, tapping out a groove that I easily slipped into, too. With a graceful drop of his arm, he grabbed a soft-ended brush and whisked it across the drums, whispering along with the song that emerged.
I lost myself in the solo. The sound was deep and quiet, and it grabbed me at my core. As the rhythm built louder and faster, I studied the choreography of Cass’s movement, like a dancer flying across the stage.
Whispering rhythms, steady percussion. Like heartbeats and starlight.
It felt like being with him felt, like we had found something calm in the middle of a chaotic world. And as I sat there watching, hope bloomed inside of me.
Cass had written a song for me. For us. And somehow, the music of it told me everything I need to know.
He danced the drumsticks lightly across the set, ending on the cymbals. When the night finally fell silent again, I leapt from my seat. “Cass, I love it,” I said, my voice trembling with emotion. “Thank you. I love it.”
He dropped the drumsticks and crossed over to meet me. “I called it ‘Andromeda.’ I wanted you to know…” He trailed off as I fell into his arms, greeting him with a kiss. “I want you to know that I love you.”
The world froze. I could still feel the rhythm of his song, like a pulse at my core. I pressed my hand across Cass’s cheek, his stubble rough on my fingers. “I love you too, Cass.”
We kissed again. Little explosions shot off, igniting my body. I pulled my lips back and took a deep inhale of his scent, flooding me through. “I love you,” I said again, tears leaking out the corners of my eyes. “I love you, Cass.”
“Fuck,” he gasped. He held me tight against his chest, rising and falling with each breath. “I want to be with you, Shawn.” Cass pulled back, looking me in the eye. “I want you to be my boyfriend. I don’t need to wait around and reconcile my sexuality or any of that bullshit. I just want you to be my boyfriend, okay?”
I nodded, words escaping me as I held his eye. I’d probably imagined him saying words like that a million times, but I never dared believe they would actually pass his lips. “I want to be your boyfriend,” I finally managed. “I love you.”
Cass narrowed his brow, a determined look on his face. “I’m going to do right by you, Shawn. I called Leo and got the agent’s number. I can pick up touring gigs that last a couple months each and pocket all the money so you can just focus on your book. Okay?”
“You called the agent?” I blinked, surprised. “Cass, you said you would hate touring like that.”
“It’s really good money. And I’d be happy shoveling shit if it meant I could take care of you.”
I laughed softly. “That’s sweet. But you don’t have to take some job you don’t want so I can write, Cass. I don’t want you to do that.”
He pulled me close, his whole face open with a smile. “We can talk about it later. Right now, I just really need some time with my boyfriend’s body.”
A moan trembled through me as we kissed. Every touch was another confirmation that this was real. We were in love, and the future had opened up before us, just like that.
And now, I was ready to show him exactly how good that love felt.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Cass
For two days, I’d been planning that night. Anytime I wasn’t working on the song, I busied myself tidying up around the studio and practicing what I wanted to say to Shawn. I drove to town for a nice bottle of wine, set up a little playlist on my phone, and spent way too many hours squinting at the computer, trying to figure out where that galaxy was in the sky.
But anything would have been worth it. As soon as I realized I was in love with him, all I wanted to do was to treat him right. A call to Leo’s agent took care of the immediate future, but the rest was in my hands.
Warm and quivering, right where I liked him.
I tore my eyes away from Shawn’s and opened the studio. I had set supplies in there earlier, and I dragged out the cushy sleeping pad I used when I went camping, wrapped tight in a clean blue sheet and covered with throw pillows and some wildflowers I’d picked on a walk that morning.
“Cass,” Shawn said, his face lighting up all over again. “You’re too much.”
I smoothed the pad against the deck, leaving it out under the open sky, and turned to him. I was so happy I felt like a kid at his birthday party. Shawn was practically dripping with desire for me, sucking in shaky breaths and pouting his lips. He was just so fucking cute. I could barely handle his smile.
“You’re delightful,” I said.
Shawn pursed his lips. “Delightful,” he repeated softly.
I grabbed him by the side and pulled him in close. “It’s sexy.”
He laughed against my neck. “If you say so. Thanks.”
It was true—everything about him was sexy. The way he made me smile, the way the skin on his clavicle felt between my lips, the soft noises he made in his sleep. Watching the wheels in his brain turning while he worked always jolted me with desire. He had such a bright future ahead of him, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be along for the ride.
“I want you,” I whispered in his ear. “I want you right here.”
Shawn buried his fingers into my shoulders, then dragged his hands down to my chest. His fingers immediately went to work unbuttoning my shirt, dancing across my skin. “Me and my boyfriend g
et everything we want,” he whispered back.
My hips jerked as coals of want burned. I tore my shirt the rest of the way off and tossed it aside, then worked on undressing Shawn as I shoved him lightly backward, closer to the mattress.
“Do you have lube?” he asked.
I nodded as I pulled his shirt off, then flicked his jeans undone. We’d talked about condoms and safety when we started fooling around, and I’d shown him the test results I got after I broke up with Monica, so I knew we could go ahead without worrying. “I’ve got everything we need.” I rubbed the palms of my hands down his chest, teasing over the hard nubs of his nipples. “It’s a first time for both of us,” I growled. “That’s so hot.”
Shawn laughed as he fell backward, landing on the sleeping pad. I jumped down to join, and we both kicked the rest of our clothes off. For a few minutes, we rolled around, kissing and groaning, our cocks stiff between our bodies. The evening breeze blew across our skin, still warm with the end of summer.
We’d talked about trying anal for a while. It was something Shawn definitely wanted to do, although I wasn’t sure for myself at first. After I rimmed him in Atlanta, though, Shawn’s perfect ass was about the only thing on my mind when we fooled around. And now that he was my boyfriend, I didn’t want to waste any more time learning what it was like to be with him in that way.
“Cass,” Shawn said, his mouth wet against my chest. He titled his eyes up, needy. “Will you get me ready?”
My hips bucked. Shawn’s cock pressed against mine as he rode my body, still kissing at my chest. “Fuck yeah,” I answered.
I was lying on my back, and Shawn scrambled around, arching his ass in my face. He took his glasses off, then looked over his shoulder at me, his eyes watery.
