by V. Theia
Ruby flinched like he’d slapped her with his past and he knew he’d landed a direct hit when his gaze suddenly switched from holding Kendra's waist, and came over to a startled Ruby.
"I'm finished in an hour, baby." She heard Kendra tell him in her baby talk tone of voice she used for men. The noise had always irritated Ruby, speak like a fucking adult, she wanted to tell her. Now though, she just had the urge to punch the waitress straight in her stupid mouth, see how much baby talk she could speak then.
"Ruby..." This from Preacher stepping out from the clinging girl. Immediately she held her hand out telling him to stop moving towards her.
She hated few things more than feeling like a fool. Strengthening her trust walls like she was in Fort-fucking-Knox she formed her shoulders into stiff points of fuck you, noticing a lot of eyes on her, on them, waiting for the fireworks. Taking that first step she kept on walking, all too aware of green eyes pinning her. "Ruby this isn't----"
She ignored him, glared visual bullets at Kendra. "When you're done rubbing your pussy on my husband, the tables need clearing."
"Husband?----"
"---Beautiful, let me explain."
"Save it. I'm working." Glacial vocal notes. Holding the hurt in, letting the anger out.
"----Wait---he's your husband?"
He tried to grab her arm, she wrenched it away and carried on walking. "I'm working." Already shut down.
"Goddammit, Ruby, you can't think anything was going on."
Cold eyes turned towards him. “You’re really choosing this hill to die on?” It was true he didn't look guilty, but hurt feelings rarely thought logically.
Behind the bar with the whole space between them, she couldn't even look at Preacher, though he'd followed her, a wounded look etched in every line on his face she disregarded, his jaw set tight, the tick working it steadily.
"Don't do this, baby." He stated quietly, arms on the bar, his scent assaulted her nose. She began to unlock her digital cash register, putting in her details to let the system connected to the office know she was on shift. It might be a dive bar, but it was modern, all the waitresses took food orders on small keypads that connected directly to the cook in the kitchen.
"I'm busy." She told him coldly. "Either order something or go away."
What she wanted to do was punch him in the junk for allowing someone to get that close to him. What she wanted to do was piss a circle around her man to ward off the thirst in others, she knew exactly what Preacher used to be, he'd fucked most every woman of legal age in this bar, she'd made peace with it until the evidence of his fuckfests were shoved under her nose.
Now she was sucking her teeth holding onto her rage.
"Ruby..."
“Maybe you need Jesus, yeah?” Sarcasm everywhere.
He sighed like his chest was pure helium.
"Your table is rubbernecking. Leave me to work, Preacher."
"For fuck's sake, it was nothing like that." He sighed giving her an eye roll to let her know this was so far out of order he couldn't even believe it was happening. "I'm sticking around, you'll have to talk to me on your break." And with that, he stalked off to join the Renegade Souls boys.
She avoided that table all night.
"Hey, Ruby. I'm sorry, girlie, I didn't know he got married, I mean he's not wearing a ring ... or I wouldn't have---" Kendra approached her hours later, holding one of the black serving trays on her hip waiting for the order she'd asked Ruby for.
Because it’s not a real marriage, fuck off, bitch.
"Save it."
"I mean it. I don't play like that." Only when Ruby heard the contrite tone did she relent, like a fucking idiot.
"Forget it, now you know."
"Yeah." she answered. "Preacher married seems---" she didn't finish the sentence, Ruby could fill in the blanks just fine. All the waitresses probably thought it was weird and pathetic she'd married the guy they’. "I mean, like congrats though, girlie." Handing over the drinks order she snubbed Kendra in case her hand slipped and she punched her in the teeth.
Just like a vengeful woman, for the rest of the night when she felt Preacher's eyes on her she flirted with whoever happened to be at the bar, laughing far too loudly, smiling too widely and generally trying to needle Preacher in the same way she'd been hurt.
He stalked over from his table like a superman parting the crowds, his gaze never once wavering. Ruby had to suck in a breath to deal with the stare because it was damn hot and she had to remember she was mad at him. So, damn wet and achy.
That cute prospect Dix happened to be parked on a bar stool shoving chips into his mouth and watching the game on one of the TVs. Sidling up, putting an extra swing in her hips, disregarding the impressive sight of her husband standing a few feet away, his tattoo fingers drumming on the bar, her smile was luminous for the prospect.
"You need anything else, handsome?" She asked the guy who had flirted shamelessly with her only weeks previous, leaning her arms on the bar, the mounds of her boobs perfectly pushed together and spilling a little over her shirt. She heard a growl from her right she didn't pay attention to. She'd put him in the deep freeze.
"Who...me?" Dix asked, blinking owl-like, his head swiveled around to look startled at Preacher then back at her. He obviously recalled his last warning from hubby.
"Of course, you, silly." Her smile grew and she licked her lips.
"Ruby."
"Oh." Dix’s voice cracked with amusement, once again he looked towards Preacher who hadn't unpeeled his eyes from Ruby. She felt it in every tingly nerve ending. "Eh. No. No thanks, darling. I'll eh... get out of your way, Sir." He told Preacher. Little suck up.
Wiping down the bar she pretended he wasn't even there, that tall imposing man of hers. Not hers. Whatever. "You realize how it ended when you flirted with one of my brothers in Nebraska, beautiful. I fucked you until you couldn't walk. So, keep going, you're only turning me on. Swear to God, Rubes. Don't push me on this."
"Or what, Preacher man?"
Or I'll jump this bar and push my cock so far inside you, you won't ever forget who you belong to. His hot gaze translated.
A blast of hormones flooded her brain, caused her breath to shallow, her nipples hardened, her pussy soaked. All normal reactions to a man she was crazy for.
Great, now she'd need to change her damn panties when she got a break.
"Go away, Preacher man."
"Give me a smile and I will."
"No. I don't smile at bearded bastards who grope waitresses."
"Ruby..." Preacher sighed explosively.
"I have flirting to do, leave me alone."
He growled baring those glorious white teeth, his hand holding the point of his beard, green eyes blazing so gorgeous she could have climbed over the bar and fucked him standing up.
She was half way to forgiving him. "Put up your walls, baby. Here’s a clue; I’m ignoring them all. Remember whose cock you'll be on later."
"I haven't decided yet. Don't wait up." She flipped back and left him there, strutting to the other end of the bar, knowing fine well his stare was all over her ass. He sat there for five more minutes watching her serve and smile at everything that had a penis before he loped off back to his table. He looked miserable and she almost felt sorry for him until she remembered it was him plastered in waitress perfume. Her icicles around her heart engaged their shields against his misery. Asshole.
This isn't the end of this. His sex-filled gaze told her. He had a tilt to his chin when he was about to get bossy on her, it lifted and stayed there. He could alpha-male all he wanted, she was closed for business.
By two AM Ruby was ready for a hot bath and her bed. After cashing up the registers, letting Tom go home and kicking out the last straggling drunk, she locked the doors and turned to face Preacher sprawled on one of the end bar stools, boots resting on the floor, jeans fitting him like skin and the gray marl colored wife beater clinging to his wide torso. He'd ditched his leather jacket
some time ago, probably to drive her crazy by flexing his vein porn arms, that bastard. She'd licked up and down his forearms, many times, obsessed with the structure of muscles, and he was using his superpower against her.
"I can get myself home." She told him icily strutting past, only she didn’t get far when he hooked one of those gorgeous arms around her waist, dragging her between his legs, he held her fast.
"Enough sulking, wife. I can see the sadness in your eyes and I’m fucking sorry for that. The waitress flung herself at me a second before you walked in, I had no chance to push her off before you saw."
"How many more have done that?" She fired back, eyes accusing. "Since we got married, how many women?"
A frown bunched his forehead. Ruby had her answer. "I didn't take any up on their offers. Have I given you a reason to not trust me?"
"It's fine." she lied.
"It’s not fine when you’re looking for grounds to distrust me. We make a fucked-up pair when you think about it, Ruby." She winced but heard him out as he went on, they’d both started as fucked-up, issues unsolvable and then they had each other to lean on. "You want to save the world and I want to outrun it.” When Preacher smiled, it didn't reach his eyes like the revelation hurt him more saying it than it did her hearing it. The thing with clarity was once you knew you could do something about it. Even when it hurt, it was fixable. He wasn’t wrong, she’d jumped all over this ready to hang him rather than do the sensible adulting and listen to him. “Don’t do this, we’re good together."
She'd screwed up.
“But here's the truth as I see it, save your hard-faced appearance for other people, Ruby. I see through it to the real you that is hurt easily because you expect it. Don't use this stupid thing tonight to ward me off. You’re scared and won’t take a real chance because you think I’ll leave just like everyone else has. Here’s a clue, my wife. I’m right fucking here. All you have to do is reach out and be honest for once, even if you’re piss scared, even if you can’t be sure of me yet, just do it because you want to try because it’s a fucking need like it is for me. Be honest with your husband.”
Tipping up her chin he made sure she was looking directly at him before he added. “I think you fight wanting me, Ruby. But here’s something for you to think about. You should do all your fighting in my bed, underneath me. I swear to help you all I can, I’ll make it my duty with my cock deep, deep inside you while you have these mental conflicts.”
Be honest. Sounded simple enough. Just speak the truth of what she wanted, who she wanted to be, more importantly, what was truly between them. Reach out and take it. This was a man who wanted to take her pain and her soul and make everything better.
Who knew beneath the beard and his innate ability to charm anything in lace panties that Preacher would be that man. That man who cared---who was kind and thoughtful, who wanted to help just to make it better for her.
"I'm still angry. But I might have overreacted, Ash..." forehead puckered. Emotion within her breastbone.
"Don't say my name like that unless you mean it. I'm all in, remember. I told you so. Whatever we had to do to get the boy for you. Only you're too scared to take a chance because you're hiding what you feel, you don’t think I see it already sparkling out of those gorgeous eyes. And that's okay, I can be patient with that, until you start lying to me, Ruby. I’m not gonna stand for lies between us. I might be an asshole most of the time and I screw up but I'm no liar."
"It's not like that."
"It's exactly that from where I'm sitting. I don't like it when you shut me down like you did and since I'm the only honest one in the room I'll tell you, I stopped seeing anyone else the moment you were in my orbit when I realized I had a fucking chance with this amazing woman. No one else mattered after that. You were it. You are it. I don't only want you, Ruby, I ----"
"Don't, Preacher." Her heart scared for the words.
He went on regardless. "I love you-----"
"Preacher..."
"I’m fucking stupid in love with you. I know you’re scared, but I’ll work with that, I’ll build everything around what you want. I want you to choose me. Choose us. Take a fucking chance on the unknown for once in your life and trust I'm there with you, that I will never hurt you in any way you expect from people and I'll always do my best for us. You are not alone. I’d never leave you alone. I'm fucking crazy in love with you, so fucking crazy it drives me mad wanting you to choose me back, I’d chase you to the goddamn end of the world, that’s how much I want you." She could hear the threads of determination through his voice.
He loves me. He loves me.
Her head swam and her heart started this crazy jazz beating inside her ribcage, a fast thump-thump-thump.
Oh, my god. Preacher in love with her? Was she dreaming?
Tears closed the back of her throat rendering her unable to speak, fingers clung to the front of his shirt, listing her weight into him, both of his hands locked around her waist keeping her right there like he could see and understand the surprise running rampant through her mind, his lips ghosted over her temple. One of those lovely, sweet forehead kisses she adored in movies.
“Don’t let pride get in the way of us being together, for real, none of this pretense shit. I fucked up like a giant jackass, I’m a guy, we’re slow at the best of times, I should have been telling everyone I was taken, let me own that and fix it. You can trust me, you can let down every fucking wall, beautiful, I’m here to shield you from everything if you allow me to. We need each other, Rubes. I need you, don't push me away, I’m not going anywhere.” Lips touched her temple. “You think I didn’t see the shutters coming down instantly without even hearing me out? That fucking gutted me, but I won’t let you do that. We’re past it, aren’t we? If you gave me a chance, beautiful, I’d take it. Give me the scared parts of you. Give me the dark fantasies, the wounded pride and the fear you have. I'll take care of it, you can trust in that.“
Everything inside that was strong because she'd always had to be collapsed, she cupped the side of his face, the soft hairs tickling her palm. This man. This man right here. When she could talk around her fuck up, she did, she had no choice but to lay herself bare. “You fucking floor me. Jesus. My ugly truth is; I couldn’t allow myself to need you, Asher. The second I need someone they take advantage and I was so damn scared to trust you.” Her voice was small sharing her deep-seated doubts. “The crazy thing is, I’ve been cynically awaiting something like tonight, so when I saw it, it was ahhh, yeah there it is, told you so, Ruby. I didn't know I'd grown so pessimistic. I'm sorry, I should have given you the chance to explain, I trust you, I swear.”
“I’m right here, baby. You can need me, I promise nothing bad will happen if you do. If you want something I'm going to get it for you, you need anything you come to me for it, it's yours.” She hiccupped a sob and buried her face in his chest.
This fucking man. “You’re so hungry for love. And I think I am, too. Let me love you. I'll love you like no one ever has until you have no more doubts. I'll fuck you morning, noon and night until my sweet little darling purrs only for me, until you know how in love with you I am.” Every damn wall crashed and she opened her heart, clutching his shirt, feeling his hands range down her back gently. “There’s been this hole in the center of my chest for a long time. The club, fuck. The club saved me in a lot of ways and it went some way to closing that hole, but you Ruby, you cemented it up, you filled me until I didn’t ache anymore. I want you at the center of me, my fucking universe." His voice was rich deep, lulling with the timbre.
Oh, god. He was killing her in the sweetest possible way. Tears formed and fell, tears he kissed away, hushed her with sweetly whispered words until she was ready to talk.
“I don’t know where you came from, Asher. Like you walked out of the clouds right when I prayed the hardest for someone to be on my side.”
He smiled and rubbed circles on her back, she melted against him. “I was waiting for the most
beautiful woman to notice me. She was a little slow and a lot stubborn.” He grinned when she nudged him in the belly. “But damn, does she makes me crazy, stirs me up, and here’s a little secret … I want her to need me.”
Ruby looked up, eyelashes wet, he brushed the diamond tears from under her eyes, kissed the tip of her nose, loving her with small endearing personal touches between a man and a woman.
“Do you need me, too?” Tentative questioning.
“Every day.” No hesitation. His head dropped forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I need you every day to breathe, Ruby. You’re in my lungs. You know, like an addict, when I'm in, I'm all the fuck in. I’m in this for us, I’m not giving up. You make me want to be better.”
"God, Asher." That did it. Her heart went ballistic and she gave him the key to her lock. "I love you, back. I love you so much. I don’t know what happened, Asher. Suddenly you were just there, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you, every minute. And you made Monday’s feel like Fridays. I love you so much.”
He laughed. "Beautiful..." It was the dirtiest, sexiest laugh. "I've never been given anything so goddamn perfect before. I love you." Their noses knocked and he dipped down to kiss her, she met him halfway, tasting him with slow kisses.
God, she'd said it, she loved him, and the world hadn't imploded.
Maybe they'd be okay after all.
"I know we both have things still to work through. But maybe then for now you don't run and I only save us, Asher."
It was offered lightly yet heavy with intent, she was offering them a chance, she was offering him herself, fully, problems and all, scared, terrified Ruby with her battered heart was asking him to take care of it as best as he could.
He blinked and pulled her in closer, this tall rough man with the flecks of gray and blue in his green eyes that darkened when he was being intense, loved her.
"Do you mean it?" he asked gruffly. "Don't say that shit to me if you don't mean it, Ruby, because I want everything from you. I'll take it all, I’ll chase you fucking down, I mean it." Ruby was not a sweet crier, she didn't look sexy crying, fugly-crying was invented solely for her, she was sure of it, so before answering she brushed under her eyes to clear the waterworks out of the way before she smiled up at him, and took his hands in hers, brought one to her lips and kissed the back of each tattooed knuckle. "I'm already your wife.”
