Apparently, my sentimentality was taking too long for Mrs. Short. Her voice bellowed from the living room.
“Valiant! You die in there or somethin’?”
I opened my eyes and smiled. When I walked back into the living room, Tom was standing. He rushed over and put his hands on my shoulders.
“Did you find it?”
“Yes.” I opened my palm and showed him the dragonfly.
“Amazing,” he said, shaking his head.
“Let me have a look!” Mom grunted.
I held the jewelry out for her to see.
“Yep, that’s it. I was gonna trade that thang to your Aunt Vera-Jane for a set of Harlequin Romance novels. But when she saw it was busted the deal was off.”
My mom. Ms. Lucille Jolly Short. An ironic blend of incredible generosity and unbelievable thoughtlessness.
I stared at the woman I’d called my mother for forty-five years. She’d always been a stranger to me. Now that I knew she actually was, I’d never felt so close to her.
How ironic can life get? The woman I thought had ruined my life had actually saved it. Literally.
Tom interrupted my thoughts. “Sorry to say it ladies, but we’ve got to go. Val, the clock’s ticking.”
I hugged the woman who had raised me, and thought about the one who, long ago, had been forced to let me go. Whether Glad had left me behind, Bobby had tossed me out a car window, or Tony’s father had paid Jacob to snatch me away and leave me for dead, none of it mattered any longer. I suddenly felt whole and happy and loved.
And that was all the answer I’d ever been looking for.
IT WAS ALMOST 5 P.M. when we drove away. Mom didn’t see us off at the door. It was time for The Price is Right. Dale drove up in the golf cart as we were leaving. I got out and gave him a hug and promised to see him again soon.
“We love you, Val,” he said as I climbed back into Tom’s 4Runner.
“I love you, too, Dale.”
Tom hit the gas, raising a cloud of orange dust on the clay road. Once we were on I-10, I realized I was absolutely famished.
“Have we got time for a Chattaburger?” I asked.
“Does it come with fries?” Tom teased and shot me a lurid look.
I blushed. Tom noticed and switched gears. “Big day for you. How you holding up?”
“Okay, actually. I feel pretty good. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel lighter, I guess.”
“Too bad you gave back the other piece of the dragonfly pin. It would have been nice to see if it fit. It would have been the final piece du résistance. ”
“Yeah. I uh....”
“You kept it. I knew it!” Tom grinned. “You are a thief, Val Fremden!”
“I am not!” I shot back.
“Then why did you keep it?”
“Let’s just say I had a gut feeling it belonged to me.”
“Huh. You are a funny girl.”
I fished around in my purse and found the little silver oval encrusted with green stones. I touched it to the broken part of the dragonfly pendant. It fit perfectly. My last doubts evaporated.
“I guess it’s official. I really am Glad’s daughter.”
Tom turned and gave me a loving smile.
“So then, Glad’s daughter. Do you really want to celebrate the news with a Chattaburger? The exit’s coming up.”
“Sure.”
Tom hooked a right on the Chattahoochee exit and in a couple of minutes we were at a picnic table, munching on Chattaburgers and fries. Maybe I was also savoring a different kind of satisfaction, but the burgers really were world-famously delicious.
“I’m curious,” said Tom, after washing down a mouthful of burger with a swig of root beer. “Your name is Valiant. Your dad’s was Justice. Those are some pretty heavy-duty names for simple country folk.”
“Simple country folk? Really?” I laughed. “You already know how I got my name. My dad’s name wasn’t Justice as in J-U-S-T-I-C-E. It was Justas. J-U-S-T-A-S. As in, ‘Just as Jolly.’ He told me once that his family wanted him to be just as jolly as he could be. It was a play on words with his last name. Get it?”
“Yeah. So your weird sense of humor runs in the family.”
“I guess. Wait a minute. They’re not my real family. Are you trying to be ironic, Mr. Foreman?”
“Maybe.” Tom affecting his bad Southern accent again. “I heard you do love you some irony, Miss Val.”
I shook my head.
“I do love irony. But apparently, irony doesn’t love me back. Why else would I be so unlucky at love? It’s either irony, or I just know too much about human nature.”
Tom leaned across the picnic table until his face was just inches from my own. He touched the side of my face tenderly.
“Maybe you just don’t know enough.”
He kissed me hard on the mouth, and I nearly fainted all over again.
I WAS AT THE BEACH in front of Caddy’s. I spied an old woman on a pink lounger. I walked over and sat next to her. She smiled at me with crooked red lips and poked me on the shoulder. She didn’t say a word. She just kept poking me gently on the shoulder. Finally, she whispered something in my ear.
“Hey. You awake?”
The voice was too deep to be Glad’s. My lids flew open and I stared into a pair of sea-green eyes.
Tom!
It all came flooding back. We hadn’t made it to St. Petersburg last night. Instead, we’d stopped and shared a room, and more, at the Sandman Inn. I won’t go into details, but I will say this: I’ve definitely changed my mind about the cops in Quincy.
“Redneck foreplay,” I croaked in a voice still raspy from sleep. “Do you remember every joke someone tells you, too?”
“Afraid so. Part of cop training.”
Tom’s blond hair was still damp from the shower. He knelt beside the bed wearing nothing but a towel and a sexy, crooked smile. He kissed me lightly on the forehead, then crawled under the covers and wrapped me in his strong arms. He brushed my hair back from my face and gave me another one of his fabulous, knee-melting kisses.
“You’re beautiful when you’re all messed up in the morning,” he teased.
“Just in the morning?”
“Oh, that’s right. You’re messed up all the time.”
“That’s not what I meant!” I bit him on the ear.
He laughed and kissed me again, making my toes curl.
“I hate to say it, Val, but we’ve got to be on our way. Ticking clock and all that. Are you ready to roll?”
“Yes.”
I was ready to roll. And I was ready to be on my way.
Epilogue
I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE it. In less than a month I went from hapless hobo to happy heiress. I wish you could have seen the look on Bulldog Thelma’s face when she found out Glad’s daughter turned out to be me! I honestly thought she might poop a puppy! And as much as I love irony, I think it must actually love me more. If Bulldog Woman hadn’t punched me in the nose, none of this would have happened, and she’d have gotten away with Tony’s fortune.
And yes, it turns out that it was a fortune. Tony’s hovel of a house was in a truly sorry state. But while Tom and I and the stooges were cleaning out the mountains of garbage, we came across a trash bag full of uncashed pension checks and stock certificates worth nearly half a million dollars! Garbage wasn’t the only thing my real father hoarded. And now his trash had become my treasure – yet another irony that made me smile.
For helping me, I gave Jorge, Goober and Winky each a $5,000 finder’s fee. I didn’t tell them it was for helping me find myself.
My Double Booty synopsis didn’t win me a contract. But the book is still a work in progress. So are Tom and I. With his help, I’m learning more and more every day that it’s not the destination, but the laughs along the journey that count.
Life feels good.
I thought about calling Tamella and a few of my other fair-weather friends to let them know of my good fortune. Then I r
ealized I really didn’t give a crap anymore what they thought.
Sweet!
I’m holding onto my amateur detective hat, too. Right now I’m helping Tom gather information in hopes of one day solving his old cold case, The Buckaroo Bandit. Jacob Timms better watch his back. It turns out that Tom is a pretty persistent guy when he finds something that really interests him.
As for Glad, I guess I’ll never know the true story of my real mother, or how we came to be separated. But I have my own precious memories of her. I cherish those six beautiful weeks on Sunset Beach when she taught me how to smile at life again. I got to know her right before her own sunset, and for that I will always be grateful.
Part of me likes to believe Glad knew somehow, deep inside, that I was her daughter. But either way, she was a true blessing to many of us. It’s weird, but thinking back on it now, I found my real mother on Mother’s Day. I guess my life really was built on irony!
By the way, I got Glad’s dragonfly pendant repaired. It never leaves the silver chain around my neck. I still spend a lot of time on Sunset Beach, too. I like watching the tourists and snowbirds from my mom's pink lounger. Every once in a while, someone comes up to say hello, then realizes it’s me.
"Oh. I thought you were Glad,” they invariably say.
I always tell them the same thing.
“Thank you. I am.”
DEAR READER,
Thanks so much for giving Glad One a try. I hope you enjoyed the story. I wrote it because I wanted to explore the idea of a middle-aged woman who returns to the US to find her entire life erased. With no family for support, where could she turn? Like anybody who’s been around awhile, we know life can be painful. But as I’ve learned along my own twisting journey, humor can soothe a lot of wounds.
But humor is subjective. That’s why my stories draw laughs using a wide net – from Pat Conroy’s twisted, dark family humor to Bridget Jones’s slap-stick situational gaffs. Things don’t always turn out like Val planned. But hey, that’s life – when it’s truly lived.
Keep the laughs coming. Join my Newsletter!
If you’d like to know about special book offers, crazy happening in my life, giveaways, and when my future novels come out, please subscribe to my newsletter. I promise not to sell your name, or to send too many notices to your inbox. As a special welcome gift, I’ll send you a link to download a free copy of Absolute Zero, the prequel novel that tells the story of how Val went from top-shelf business woman to bottom-rung social outcast. (Or, if you prefer, you can buy it on Amazon for $3.99.) To join my newsletter, just click the link below. I look forward to having you on board!
Newsletter Link with welcome gift of Absolute Zero for joining: https://dl.bookfunnel.com/nt7dwuwlpg
Thanks again for reading Glad One. It’s true, isn’t it? Crazy really is a relative term. ;)
All my best,
Margaret Lashley
P.S. I hope you enjoyed Glad One: Crazy is a Relative Term. It would be awesome if you would click the link below now and leave a review. Thanks so much!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XTKBMWT#customerReviews
P.S.S. (SOUNDS LIKE I sprung a leak, lol!) If you’d like to contact me, you can reach me here:
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Email: [email protected]
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Ready for more Val?
Get set for:
Two Crazy, Fickle Finger of Fate!
Two Crazy
Fickle Finger of Fate
Book Two in the Val Fremden Mystery Series
Margaret Lashley
Copyright 2017 Margaret Lashley
MargaretLashley.com
Cover Design by Melinda de Ross
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
For more information, write to: Zazzy Ideas, Inc. P.O. Box 1113, St. Petersburg, FL 33731
This book is a work of fiction. While actual places throughout Florida have been used in this book, any resemblance to persons living or dead are purely coincidental. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, the names of places have been altered.
More Praise for the Val Fremden Series
“This is a knock down hilarious series.”
“These characters are so well written that you can almost see them in your mind while reading the book.”
“Two Crazy is just TOOOO CRAZY! I loved this book as I have come to love the crazy dysfunctional characters who make you laugh out loud.”
“This series gets better with every book. The plot is great, the characters are zany and the situations in which Val finds herself are hilarious.”
“This book is a perfect blend of mystery and humor and the writing and editing are top rate.”
If you want a fun, suspenseful, and downright crazy book to read this summer this is definitely your pick.”
“WOW! I really didn't see that ending coming. This book is laugh out loud funny. Cover your eyes embarrassing (but then you couldn't read it) and all the other emotions a truly well written book can bring. Absolutely loved it.”
“If you haven't read any Val books you are truly missing out on a really great series.”
More Hilarious Val Fremden Mysteries
by Margaret Lashley
Absolute Zero
Glad One
Two Crazy
Three Dumb
What Four
Five Oh
Six Tricks
Seven Daze
Figure Eight
Cloud Nine
“Why does life always have to give me the finger?”
Val Fremden
CONTENTS
Welcome to Val’s World!
Glad One
Praise for the Val Fremden Series
More Hilarious Val Fremden Mysteries
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
/> Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Epilogue
Two Crazy
More Praise for the Val Fremden Series
More Hilarious Val Fremden Mysteries
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Prologue
I’M VAL FREMDEN, AKA Thelma Gladys Goldrich, aka Valliant Stranger. A double life wasn’t good enough for me. So I decided to make it a triple.
Val Fremden Mystery Box Set 1 Page 26
