by Maree, Kay
“Answer me, Eka!” he screamed, small droplets of spit landing on her face.
“N-o-N-o,” she said again,
“I-I-I not at all,” she said, trying to sound strong, not broken.
Her head screamed in pain as her cheeks flushed.
“Whoa, Cody, bit early for rough play, isn’t it?” Jerm, Cody’s roping partner said as he walked from the trailer scratching his head with one hand, a cup of coffee steaming in the other.
“If ya can’t wait till tonight, I will be more than happy to grab the roping rope and we both could rope and ride her to dispel any nerves for the day’s events,” Jerm laughed out slapping Eka’s ass as he walked past. The comment made her quiver in fear. She knows just how dirty and dark these two men can get… she has been roped and rode more times than she ever would like to remember. Discomfiture washed over her as she tried so hard to not show him fear, but to also block the connection to Wolf, for she doesn’t want him to see just how far she had fallen. He would never be able to touch her ever again knowing just what these white men had done to her.
“Na, Bro, we’re good. Just making sure the bitch knows who’s the boss.”
As Cody dropped his grip on Eka, he pushed hard so she fell back over the stump of wood she was sitting on. Her coffee spilled over her neck and face, making both men laugh as her tears mixed with the golden liquid that was sending hot burning traces over her skin. She slowly died inside. Each day he hated her more, and the more of herself she lost. Before he changed, before the rush wore off, he had made her feel so important, so loved. Then Wolf started to really take rodeoing seriously. The better and stronger Wolf became, the more Cody hated Eka. This led to him hurting her more. He slept with other women and at times made her watch them for tips, pointers and ideas that he would bark at her.
He took more from Eka than she had ever experienced before in her life. At first, he had made her feel alive and like she couldn’t live without him. Then he shook her, burned her and spun her in so many different directions she no longer knew which way was north.
“Clean yaself up. You better be watching me ride today with a smile on your face, not this face you have now.”
His words hurt her.
All she wanted was the Cody Smith that had stolen her from a man who loved her as fiercely as the ocean was wild and deep.
~*~
“Look like you slept like shit, son,” Jimmy says to Wolf as he enters the sign-in tent.
“That’s coz I did.” Wolf slaps the old timer on the shoulder. “Good to see age hasn’t effected ya eyesight,” Wolf said to him as he picked up a pencil from the table.
“Hasn’t effected much I tell ya, boy.” Winking at Wolf as his eyes look over his wife who is signing in the ladies for barrel racing. Wolf smiles kindly at Lucy. Jimmy and she have been rodeoing forever. Both held multiple titles in all events and now they manage all the behind-the-scenes stuff.
“What ya signing up for today?” Jimmy asks walking around the table, slapping Lucy on the bottom as he walks past her she swats him with a folder of registration forms. Her cheeks heated with a flush of red. Jimmy settles in his chair as he pulls out a folder for Wolf.
“All of them, Jim,” Wolf says, ticking off all his rides, picking the horse for the Bronc ride and then chewing the end of the pencil as he goes over the stats on the bulls. His final ride for the day would be his bull ride. He needs to make good points on that ride while having a good ride. But he also had to challenge himself.
“Black Magic.” Jimmy looks at Wolf as he takes the form from the young Indian’s hand. Shaking his head, he whistles out, “That’s a wild ride there, son.”
“Wild’s what I need to get that ranch.” Tipping his hat to Lucy, her eyes lock with his. Worry, panic and concern washes through her cornflower blue eyes.
“I’ll be fine, Lucy. You know there ain’t many I can’t ride.” Wolf hands over his entry fee for the weekend.
“Fingers crossed I be back to collect that back, Miss Lucy.”
“Fingers crossed you don’t kill ya self. I don’t wanna be the one to break ya momma's heart, Wolf.”
She smiles sweetly at Wolf.
“Good luck, boy. Ya need it,” Jimmy calls out as Wolf walks out into the heat of the morning heading to the ring. The fairgrounds are coming alive as women and children began to flee from trailers ready for the day. Men are checking stock, oiling saddles, and checking gear while talking. Some are stretching out worn bones to crack them back in place from years of competing and sleeping on lumpy beds crammed into their trailers.
Older children are running around helping their Pa’s, learning all the rituals that go with rodeoing.
Perrie holds a four day rodeo each year. It is one of the biggest and most important weekends on the circuit. Wolf can gain all the points needed this weekend to take that number one spot in bull riding from Cody Smith and move up to the top. This could take him all the way to the finals, which if he wins there will make him number one in the world.
With one look, the fire still burns.
~Eka Peno
The fairground is packed. Children’s laughter and squeals can be heard all over. The smell of hot chips, candy apples and cotton candy mix with the smell of horses and the other animals at the rodeo.
You know its rodeo day when the smells start to whirl around you.
Sitting high on White Moon, I rub her neck, waiting for my name to be called. Roping is my first event for the day. Scanning the VIP stands where a family of rodeo riders sit. My eyes know she’s there before I see her. It’s a feeling that hurts just under the surface of my skin where my heart lays in my chest. The beautiful, unique Eka is there dressed in clothing that the white women wear, not the clothing of our ancestors.
Demin jean shorts that are really short, a checkered red and black button-up shirt tied in a knot at the front. There are buttons undone showing off her toned honey skin which glistens under the hot, summer sun. Sweat beads over her body, her feet are bare, her black hip-length hair is piled high on top of her head in a messy bun with her beads and feathers still attached showing she has one foot in each world. She may be with a white man, but at least she still has some of our culture still wrapped around her. Wolf watches her fan herself with the rodeo program, her eyes seeking out another, searching for Smith. No doubt that’s who she’s here with. She wouldn’t be seeking out Wolf. His heart drops. As much as he is angry with her, he loves her, cares about her and wishes that she could see it all. Wishes that he could step closer to her and make her see that he is still here. But he can’t… his heart wants one thing when his mind and elders scream at him with another.
Wolf’s eyes fall to his knotted fingers around his reins, taking in a deep breath. Wolf’s mind travels to reasoning. He would treat her like more than just another Friday night, more than just a notch on a white man’s bedpost. She’s a Dakota princess. She’s a stunning unique wish that deserves to be treated as such.
Glancing back up, his eyes met the burning ones of Eka’s. Wolf settles back into his saddle. Wishing he could just take her from here. She makes him drunk with emotion. Drunk with lust. A fire that burns hotter than the Pierre sun. Never had another woman ever made Wolf feel like this. He held onto his reins hard as his name got called. Eka’s mouth moved, whispering, ‘Good Luck,’ to him as he turned his eyes from hers.
“Up next is Wolf Elua, our very own Dakota Indian cowboy folks. He holds number one in roping and currently sits at number two in bull riding with hopes on changing that today.”
The crowd goes wild. The sound of their whistling and cheering causes Wolf’s hairs down his arms to bristle. A small bead of sweat rolls down his spine, it’s not from the extreme Perrie heat either. Wolf gets this each and every time he rides, it’s fear meshed with respect. Fear for what could go wrong and respect for his animal.
Wolf nods his head to Jimmy.
“Well folks looks like our boy i
s ready. He’s riding White Moon, who’s faster than a shooting star, so make sure you watch and don’t be blinking. Hold on to ya hats lads and lasses here he comes.”
Wolf shoots out after the steer, his lasso high above his head. Spinning his wrist he makes a perfect, wide circle, then flicking his wrist as he pushes his hips forward slightly, bearing his weight and boots onto the stirrups of his beautiful black hand-crafted leather western saddle, he aims for the steer. The steer shot forward, kicking up dust, but White Moon moved with grace and strength. Wolf looked like a sexy form of art gliding through the air hurling his lasso around the steer's head, then pulling back hard Wolf jumps from his horse landing down in a cloud of grey dust. He takes two massive strides, and he has his gloved hands on the steer using his knees he lifted and flipped the steer on its back. Roping its front two legs first then its back two jumping up on his feet pulling the rope tight back his horse knew the signal and began to walk slowly back with each step the rope pulling tighter as Wolf’s hands went up in the air. He reaches White Moon and pulls himself up as the crowd breaks out in whistles and cheers. Wolf can’t help but smile that was a good ride. An even better roping.
“Well folks, that’s a ten second ride and a straight 95 score. Wolf Thunder-Horse Elua still holding tight onto that number one spot.
Wolf reaches for his roping rope and lasso from Greg, nodding as he leads White Moon from the arena.
Eka jumps from the stands, running towards him. “What a ride,” she yells out, her sweet voice reaching him warming his skin.
“Thanks,” he answered, being polite to her while his heart hurt for her. It was one of the hardest things ever. Give him an eight second bull ride on the meanest bull ever is less frightening than trying to be polite to Eka when all he wanted to do was breathe her in forever. She’s the one thing that wrecks him. That’s what hurts the most, knowing he can’t. She can’t. She ran off with him and can’t come home, ever.
“Wolf Napayshni Sunkwa Elua,” her tone was brutal and hot.
“Wow, Eka, my whole name,” he looks down at her, pulling his gloves from his hands.
“You asked for it, Wolf.”
“How, Eka, how have I ever asked for any of this?”
“By this, Wolf.” She looked right through me, her eyes just went right through my soul.
“What, Eka?” he said, still unsure why he’s the one that’s done something here.
“This.” Her hands waved around them both.
“Rodeoing?” Raising his brows at her he was lost. How she did that, confused the hell out of him and still he was the one who was to blame, but lost.
“NO! Ignoring me, silly.” A small smile played over her sweet lips.
“I ain’t ignoring you, Eka,” he says riding off. “I’m trying to forget,” he whispers out as he rides past her. Eka shivers at the cold words leaving this amazing man’s mouth. Her bones quake in the wake of just what she had done.
It’s true though, Wolf wasn’t to blame, because just seeing her made him breathless and he needed to breathe to live.
Even if that was without her.
I am tired of feeling lonely
~ Eka Peno
Eka’s heart sunk watching Wolf ride away. She knew she had hurt him, but she never thought in her wildest dreams that he would be like that with her. Not after everything they had shared. She was lonely without him and she missed him. This heartache was the worst pain she had ever felt and somehow, she had to find a way to make it right with him.
She missed the stolen stares and the way her heart would flutter when he would call her kid. Then it changed to baby. Now its cold eyes and an empty voice.
Wolf showed Eka colors that she could never see with anyone else. They had a secret language that only they could speak together, and now it was all broken. Their bond was breaking, their language fading.
Eka’s head fell toward her dusty boots. She lost the one man that made her whole and it took a monster for her to see that she had had all she ever wanted standing right there beside her. She began to walk back toward the stands as Wolf moved back through the crowd after locking White Moon back in the stalls pulling his worn leather gloves from his pocket as he pulled himself up on the side of the rails. Nodding to Greg and smiling over at Jimmy he had his Bronc ride up next.
Wolf drew High Jump, a three-year-old from the Osbourne Rodeo Stock Company, just out of Cody. Eka stayed fixed back in the bleachers, the metal seats hot on her thighs, wishing she was wearing a cheesecloth long dress to cover her skin from the intense heat. She shifted, uncomfortable in the clothing that Cody makes her wear. Her eyes stayed centered on the chutes for Wolf. The gate keeper waited in front of the gate, his hand on the bolt and the other wrapped around a braided worn rope ready to pull the gate open for the bucking Bronc to come flying out with Wolf atop. Eka watched the gate keeper watch Wolf, waiting for his signal to pull the gate wide open. Her heart sat in her throat. She always worried about Wolf and if this would be the ride that injured him. Eka missed the way he used to smile at her. The way he always sought her out, no matter where they were or who was around. So much had changed, one reckless decision and she had ruined it all. She had run on a crazy love that turned into her own hellish nightmare.
From where Eka sat, she could only see the top of Wolf’s black cowboy hat. Then just like that, before she could even send a small prayer up to the spirits to keep him safe, his free arm along with her heart flew up into the air, the gate opened and out he came, holding on for dear life as High Jump tried like hell to buck him off. Wolf just ebbed and flowed with the wild bronc. He was beautiful, sheer beauty in motion as he dipped and glided with every side step and flick of the horse. His feet spurring. The red leather fringe in his chaps fluttering with the wind, horse, and Wolf. Wolf’s counter-movements were synchronized, almost as if he was one with this wild beast. Like he sensed what direction High Jump planned to go before the wild bronc even knew it himself. Wolf stayed past the eight seconds needed making it to ten before he untied his hand and launched himself onto the pick-up man’s horse, just as smooth as if he had done it a million times.
The crowd applauded, women and young girls screamed down at Wolf as he rode out on the pickup horse, dipping his hat and bearing an all-white grin to the women all screaming his name. Eka’s heart dipped and ached inside her chest. Her breathing was tight in her lungs as they burned. She was hurting hard under the surface where he used to hum through her blood. It’s now all icy stares and bitter words. He was gone, he was no longer hers, he was lost to her. She was worthless now. A used woman. Tainted and stained by a white man.
They were written in smoke among the clouds on a moon dance. That was their destiny that her grandmother had seen and felt. Told them about it. Tears fell from her eyes, rolling silently down her warm, sun-kissed cheeks. So much had changed since her grandmother had passed.
Eka watched Wolf slip from the horse, patting the mare on the hind end. He picked up his rope from the dust, then came back up and waved his hat in acknowledgement to the crowd, as he walked in a tight circle, before turning back toward the holding pens. Eka watched as his eyes scanned the bleachers before looking up at the scoreboard. He studied his ride on the big screen as Eka held her breath. She waited like he did for the score. Half for the horse's performance, half for the rider. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of watching while stealing quick glances at Wolf. He was casually leaning on the rails, his body wrapped around the wood like it was meant to hold him, made for his body to leisurely lay on the weather-worn boards. She saw it just as he did, her eyes moving from him to the red numbers rolling over the screen. Eighty-eight flashed to another massive round of applause and screaming his name began to chant out around them. Wolf smiled; you could see that dimple that popped out just to the right on his cheek. Eka was lost in the vision of Wolf with the sun behind him and sweat beading over his face from his ride and the heat. She watched as he rolled up his sleeve
s, then undoing the top buttons showing the white T-shirt sitting under the layer of cowboy black. She nearly missed Jimmy announce Cody.
“Well folks, that was one pretty impressive ride by ol’ Thunder-Horse. Up next, we have his rival on the circuit, no other than the number one bull rider, Cody Smith. These two have been chasing each other on the scoreboard for the better part of this rodeoing season. Let’s see if Cody can beat an Eighty-eight.” The crowd whooped and yelled as Jimmy spoke over the speaker again, “Cody has drawn no other than Buck Awa. Cody was first in Broncs but with Wolf’s score he has slipped down to second and with two more Bronc riders to come after Smith, let’s see if he rides well enough to stay in the running.”
Cody rode well out of the chutes but fell short just on seven seconds when Buck Away did just that, bucked him off. Cody fell hard and Buck Away came down with a hoof to the side of Cody’s face and another whip around caused a hoof to land on his ribs. The crowd all gasped as the bullfighters came in fast to keep the Bronc from causing any more damage to Smith as he tried to pull himself up from the dust. The crowd began to clap and cheer as a bullfighter helped him back past the chutes to the holding pens.
Eka knew she should go see if he was ok, but her heart wanted to find Wolf and hug him… congratulate him on his score. It was a wild ride that he did with such beauty and grace.
She wanted to be in his space, to show him that she wanted to fight for the now. For the past. For the future. She wanted him in her life, needed him near. She did not feel whole with him gone.
