by Maree, Kay
“I’m sorry, baby, but just seeing you watch him the way you used to watch me caused something to snap inside,” Cody said as he placed a plate of red wine mushroom risotto on the table which was Eka’s favorite meal that he made. Cody was an absolute amazing cook. This time food wouldn’t fix it though. Eka’s jaw stung, her head throbbed as her ribs screamed out in a deep-seated burn.
“Baby, come. Eat.” He gestured toward Eka, who tried to pull her body from the bed as pain seared like a hot branding iron ripping through her flesh.
Wincing, her eyes meet his angry ones, so she tried to move faster, to shove the pained expression from her face as to not make him flip again.
“I-I-I’m sorry,” Eka stammered out, putting on a brave face as his eyes glowed with a rage she knew would end with his hands on her again.
She walked on tiptoes toward the table, her body weak. Blood stained her clothing, marking her skin like a red river of dried tears.
His hand hit, and she fell with the force of it. She wasn’t ready for that slap. She never was. She didn’t see that one coming. Next thing she knew, he was standing over her and yanking her up so fast her head swam making her dizzy and a buzzing began to sing in her ears as Cody slammed her body down hard onto the pulled-out seat. “Now eat. For fuck’s sake, Eka, why do you gotta make it look so painful?” Tears welled as she swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Cody, that’s because it does,” she whispered out.
His hand came at her again, this time landing on the side of her cheek. This stunned her. Even though his hand was empty it was like being hit with a large hunk of meat.
“Don’t ever talk back to me again, Eka. I will remove your fucking tongue next!” He spat at her as she nodded toward him, her hands linked together on her lap trying so hard not to shake. Cody shoved her plate closer toward her as he picked up his beer, kicked his dirty boots off and placed his feet on the corner of the table. Sucking back his beer, his eyes watching her, she sat and endured his words of hatred, all spilling from a man that professed so much love in his quiet moments of regret, in the first rays of morning light, or during midnight moon rays when he stumbled in drunk from a night of drinking with the boys.
She was shattered. Every facet of her personality was denigrated and shunned. She was less than nothing, not even as loved as an object to be used. Every look that came her way was laced with contempt and annoyance. She received no more love nor caring stares.
Eka tried with all she had to push the food down through her pained jaw and into her stomach, pushing past the ache in her ribs and the burn of her lungs. Cody sat and drank, ate and drank some more. Eka had to sit at the small sink to do the dishes and clean up her body as she was too sore to withstand the weight of standing. Cody was angered again by that sight and picked up his hat, pushed his feet into his boots and slammed the trailer door so hard that the cutlery from the sink fell to the floor and with it so did Eka. She was completely broken at that point, shattered beyond reasonable doubt.
I feel so cold as my aching body feel to the floor.
~ Eka Peno
“Doc, what was my score?” were the first words that came from Wolf’s mouth when he woke under the medic tent at the back of the cattle yards, an ambulance on standby.
Wolf tried to blink away the grit inside of his eyes as he sought the doc’s face.
“Doc. Hey, Doc.” His voice horse.
“Nighty-Five,” Benny called out from the chair in a muffled tone. His face was under, shielding his weary eyes from the piercing Perrie sun that was finding a way to burn you even through the cover of a tent. His feet rested on the end of Wolf’s bed.
“Beat Smith,” Wolf croaks out his ribs burning with the small intake of breath required to talk.
“You beat him all right and you’re damn lucky to be alive.”
Benny’s voice sounded tired and worn out.
“That’s all that matters then,” Wolf said, covering his eyes with his forearm.
“What being alive or beating Smith?” Benny questioned his friend.
“Beating Smith.”
~*~
Pictures started to roll like an old cinematic film behind Wolf’s closed eyes as a headache assaulted his skull, sending his brain on a bucking bronco ride that Wolf wanted to jump off from and fast.
The pain though was something that Wolf could handle with some aspirin; it was the pictures he couldn’t. The ones of them together. Kissing with the sunset wrapped around them.
Bareback riding through wildflowers in the moonlight, her body wrapped in his with the wind catching her hair, sending black tendrils to tickle his skin.
Now she was alone and crying on a small bathroom floor, looking through her box of memories with tear-stained cheeks and broken ribs.
Wolf tried to blink it all away. It stayed. He tried to pull himself up from his bed in his trailer, but the pain of his ribs reminded him that he had just gone more than eight seconds with a pissed off bull who wanted to toss Wolf into the solar system.
Stumbling to the small kitchenette, Benny stormed in through the doors just as Wolf had reached for a beer and aspirin.
“Whoa, Cowboy. What the hell you up to?” Benny called, reaching for the bottle, spinning the lid off and shaking two pills out for his buddy. Then he pushed Wolf’s worn and bruised body into the chair next to the little table.
“Well, I was getting that but whatever.” Wolf rested his head in his hands sucking in as deep as he could to try to ebb the pain from his body.
“Yeah, and I got it covered.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Wolf bit out, pulling his tired eyes from his hands as he took the pills and water Benny offered.
“I was getting a beer,” Wolf barked.
“You know damn well you don’t need that.”
Benny shook his head at his friend.
“I get you’re sore, but brother you got too much to lose to piss ya night against the wall to help numb a pain that has nothing to do with Black Magic.”
Wolf’s eyes meet Benny’s with a stare laced with annoyance and truth. He knew his friend was right, but he was as well. Wolf needed to rest and recover. Trying to drink the memories of her from his head would do nothing but heighten them.
He was wondering if he could save her, if he crossed her mind, but he had to shake those thoughts. He couldn’t go there as it would cause him to lose what little control he had. He needed to win all his rides this weekend to be able to secure the land to build her a safe haven.
Getting drunk will only allow him to call her or worse, visit her saying things and doing things that wouldn’t be good for either of them right now.
Tipping the pills back and downing the glass of water, Wolf wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all,” Wolf said to Benny, opening his eyes, looking at his friend. “I just don’t know how to live without her and it’s the pictures rolling on a never-ending roll of film that haunt me the most.”
Benny nods at Wolf while taking two plates from the overhead cupboard.
“I know, brother, I know. Just like you, I wanna take her away from that mongrel while hitting him with a swift punch to his jaw, but it’s not the right time.”
Knowing Benny was right, Wolf followed him slowly outside to the small campfire he had lit.
Benny had stuffed sweet potatoes inside tinfoil, cooking them in the embers of the fire. Wolf’s stomach growled as his body ached with the steps down onto the stumps of wood.
“Eka.” The sound of her name on Benny’s lips had Wolf pulling his head from the hood of his hoodie. He had pulled it on after he sat down to shield his eyes from the setting Perrie sun. Even at dusk it was still blood orange and bright.
“Benny.” Her voice was soft, sweet… barely there.
Instantly she numbed all of Wolf’s pain.
Their eyes met, and it hurt. He could see how m
uch she wanted to hold him, make sure he was ok, and he wanted to touch the small bruising appearing on her face and run the pad of his thumb over her split, bloody lip.
His guard was down as he was tired and didn’t have it in him to turn her away, nor did he have the strength to get up and walk away.
He was kidding himself, thinking he could ever walk away from Eka Peno.
Before you, I was nothing. Without you, I’m nothing.
~Eka Peno
Eka watched Wolf as he looked up from his hiding spot inside of his hoodie. He would always pull himself into it to shield himself after a tough ride. She knew he was in a world of pain right now.
He was there at her feet, so much beauty that she could feel her breath catching in her burning lungs. Wolf was in a world of hurt, but so was Eka. She may not have gone a round with one of the most feared bulls in all of rodeo, instead she had met the hateful fists and kicks of a man who was hellbent with paranoia.
“O’siyo, Wahya” (Hello Wolf)
“O’siyo, Eka.”
His eyes fall from her and gaze down to the fire licking over the wooden logs that Benny was placing inside the flames, sending fireflies to dance up towards the setting sky.
“Osigwotsu?” (How are you?)
Wolf looked at her with sadness in his eyes… small talk. He always hated it.
“Can’t complain.” He sounded harsh, annoyed even.
Eka let out a pained breath.
“Well I feel Uyohusv, Wolf and I can’t stand it.” (Dead)
Wolf searched for Benny. His friend was just sitting with his feet stretched toward the fire, the sun setting behind him, while eating his stuffed sweet potato like it was a normal Friday night.
Like having Eka here was normal, like in Hilvsgi iga Tsuqagutanvsv (Days Past) when they would camp out under the stars in the back country roping wild horses.
Taking a deep breath in, Eka sat down on the wooden stump next to Wolf and just like that, the spirts danced before them, kicking up the flames into a haunted twisted embrace before them. A hot heat whirled around Wolf and Eka, her scent assaulted his nostrils, as his did hers, and a low murmur left her body as his throat reverberated with a growl.
“Well, even the spirits know this is playing with fire,” Benny said eyeing them both while lifting a beer to his lips.
“I brought you things.”
“Smith know you’re here?” he questioned her as she leaned forward.
“Judging by your face and the way you’re moving, he doesn’t like the fact you’re around me, Eka.”
“Ah, but our beautiful Eka always did like to defy and walk to the beat of her own drum, didn’t ya.” Benny said. He winked at her, trying to lighten the tension around the campfire, but failing miserably at it. Wolf was too tense to even allow anything to uncoil him and Eka was so embarrassed that she was sitting with two of her best friends covered in marks from a white man’s anger.
Placing the cooking pot over the fire to heat, Eka turned slowly to Wolf, trying to not grimace at the pain. “It’s a bone broth for you and I also made you an infusion of nettle leaf, alfalfa leaf, horsetail and oat straw. Let it steep overnight and strain it in the morning. You can drink it hot or cold, it’s up to you. For now, though, for your aches and bruises, I have some fresh arnica.” Holding out her hand in his direction, he looked over at the small clay pot containing the arnica and the small hemp bag filled with the infusion.
“I have also made another for you, so drink this one for a week, then take this one of marshmallow root, Solomon’s seal and okra for the next week. It will help lubricate dry tissues and painful joints.”
Benny coughed and spit his beer out from laughing. The beer sizzled as it hit the embers of the fire in front of him. Wolf snapped his sight to his friend.
“Something funny?” Wolf questioned him.
“Na, brother, it’s just I know something else that could do with being lubricated.” Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Eka’s cheeks flushed red and Wolf threw the rolled-up tinfoil from his dinner at him.
“You both know it, so why don’t ya quit this dance and get back to being just you two, because this dance is trying for all of us,” Benny said as he stood. “I’m hitting the hay. I’ll be inside when you need me, Wolf.” Stepping toward Eka, he leant down to kiss her cheek. “Stay strong. He will save you when he saves himself.”
Walking inside, he pulls the door shut with a quiet click. But in the silence between Eka and Wolf, it was as loud as a thunderstorm.
“Why don’t you leave, Eka?” Wolf said, looking into the flames of the fire, the orange bleeding into the darkening night around them.
“You mean here now or him?” She questioned him, curling her toes inside the buckskin boots. Her breath was held, hoping he wasn’t going to push her away. Not tonight, she needed to just sit in his presence tonight to feel anything other than the deadly cold pain of Cody Smith.
“Him, Eka.” Wolfs voice was a small sound beside the thudding in her ears from her heart.
Taking a deep breath, she blew it out slowly as she thought over what she should say to the man who she just wanted to look at her like she was the moon again.
“Lonely days and cold nights have embedded their way into my bones, Wolf. I don’t deserve anything more than what I have now.” Eka twisted the braided piece of leather holding a few of her tribe's feathers that was attached to her poncho.
“Oh sweet, Eka, but you do.” His head tilted as he rose, his stare meeting hers as she looked up as well. The gates holding tears back opened, and they ran like hot waterfalls of silver down her cheeks while the fire danced over her face. Wolf reached out his hand toward her face. The pad of his thumb slowly reached out for the falling tears, wiping them away. Her head turned into his touch as his palm rested on her cheek, his eyes once again locked on hers.
“It’s hurts more than you could ever know.” She spoke with a new broken that she did not even know was inside her.
“I just want you to hold me and numb all the pain.” She spoke to him again, her eyes blinking back tears as Wolf struggled to hold his own tears at bay. His hands shook as his heart thumped like a stampede of wild stallions inside his chest.
“Come, I’ll help you escape.” His words were shaky, he knew it was dangerous but when he closed his eyes all he could see was her safe inside his arms while the night fell around them.
Wolf stood and pulled her into him, his body aching with pain for her and the beating Black Magic gave him.
“I was getting used to hurting, you know,” she mouthed to him as he lowered them both down by the fire, leaning against the stumps of wood. Wolf pulled his poncho from the stump and wrapped it around them as Eka nestled her head into his chest, her arms around him as he cradled her.
“Tonight, I won’t let you hurt, Eka.” Wolf kissed the top of her head as he watched the flames rise higher. A cool breeze whipped around them with the sound of an elders call on the tail of the wind.
He closed his eyes. Tomorrow he would deal with that fact that he must let her go back to violent hands. But tonight, he is going to hold tight onto the soul that is Eka and watch the stars dance in the sky while she sleeps in his arms because he would rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
In his arms is where my heart is happy
~ Eka Peno
Day Two
Eka woke inside the penetrating warmth that was Wolf. His breath was hot on the inside of her neck as they both had slipped down into a coil of arms and legs. The fire still burned just like their desire for one another, slowly fading, but the embers were still just as hot. Her heartbeat fast then slow to an almost standstill. As a tingling sweat of fear beaded and rolled from the tip of her spine to the base. She had to get back to a man who treats her like scum, which meant unlinking herself from this man who made her feel like she mattered She had to get back to Cody’s trailer before he noticed she was gone. Her hands shook as
she unlinks her hands and legs from Wolf. Leaving him this time was harder than the last. This time she knows better… knows that she will be walking back to a man who hurts her more than he loves her. Leaving behind a man who would love her until it killed him. A man who would wait a lifetime for her.
Eka chewed her bottom lip as she watched him sleep. So much beauty laid at her knees that she was drowning looking at him. He was achingly beautiful. She traced her fingers over his jaw line and cheek up to the stray hairs that the wind had caused to blow over his face. Eka brushed them back, placing feather light kisses on his fire warmed skinned. Her heart ached.
“Sweet dreams, my Nvdo iga ehi.” (Sun)
Eka was unsure of the time as she walked back toward the cage that was Cody’s trailer. The cage that he had locked her in, clipped her wings and beaten her to submission. This had become a storm she had to weather.
The chill of the night caused Eka to pull her poncho tight around her body. Her ribs burned as tears pooled in her eyes. Everything hurt under the surface of her skin. As she walked past the cowboy’s trailers toward Cody’s she decided that a little more time alone in the chill of this night was what she needed to clear her head. She needed to take out all the beautiful that was Wolf and lock it away, safe, deep down in a place that Cody couldn’t reach nor see in her eyes if he was waiting up for her.
So, she decided that she would go and check on Cody’s mare, Amia.
Movement close to Amia’s coral, against the hay bales, caught Eka’s eye. She turned and stepped closer; the darkness engulfing her, until she reached the small overhanging bulbs dangling in the slight breeze.
Leaning against the hay bales was Cody - his Wrangler jeans down around his worn cowboy boots as a small brunette bobbed her head over his slick, wet cock.
“That’s it. Oooo, yes. Open wider. Faster. That’s it, take it. Yes, all the way. Deeper. His hands dug into the back of her scalp as he pulled her back and forward. Her mouth worked from root to the throbbing, blood-darkened tip of his cock.
Wet sucking sounds coupled with her happy, humming moans were heard along with the slapping of Cody’s riding partner’s, Jerm, thighs against her ass. It was sticking up in the air, with his cock sliding to its own rhythm in and out of her back entrance. These sounds were whipping around her, slapping her in the face as Jerm locked eyes with Cody and they both began to push and pull faster, getting off on each other just as much as the brunette on her knees before them. Pain and embarrassment for her washed through Eka as fresh hot tears began to fall from her tired, swollen eyes. She knew Cody sought out other women to fool around with, but knowing and seeing it were two entirely different experiences and feelings. Rage and shameful jealousy washed over her face and into her toes as she curled them inside her buckskin boots. Just then Cody let out a groan as he orgasmed, which echoed into the night sky. His eyes moved from Jerm’s and met her tear-soaked ones. Shock washed through his eyes before a sick smile twisted over his lips. He pulled his cock out of the woman’s mouth with a loud pop which echoed around them, then blew the rest of his salty load all over Jerm’s chest as he fell closer to his friend. Jerm let his own release go inside the woman’s ass as she screamed out in her own twisted release. Eka fled from the scene with a newfound anger that she had never, ever felt before.
