Ky asks the driver to stop, and he gets out of the car, leaving the ice bucket at the side of the road. Hopping back in, he lowers a couple of the windows, and we all breathe a collective sigh of relief as cool, fresh air replaces the previous offensive stench.
Jill sighs beside me. “She’s gotten worse,” I whisper, and she nods. “Why? Why does she do it to herself?”
Jill shrugs. “I don’t know what’s going on with her, but it’s been awful since you left. She’s way out of control, and all we seem to do is argue these days. I was delighted when Ky phoned and asked us to come visit because it’s the first time in months I’ve seen her genuinely happy.”
“You should’ve told me.”
“You have enough problems of your own. Besides, what could you do from the other side of the world?” While her words aren’t meant to upset me—she’s merely stating facts—I can’t help the pang of guilt that slices across my heart. Contact with my friends has been dwindling. Not on purpose, but we have been slowly growing apart. I don’t know if it’s inevitable when someone moves away, but I make a silent promise to myself to make more of an effort going forward. It also reminds me that I need to start making some concrete plans for my future.
When I first came here, it was a necessary evil—a temporary move necessitated by the guardianship order. My plan had always been to return to Dublin after graduation and to apply to Trinity, but now I don’t know what I want to do. This is home now. This is where my family is. It’ll be difficult to form a relationship with Adam if I’m back in Ireland, and leaving Ky behind isn’t an option, so I’m not sure where that leaves college. I don’t even know what Ky plans in that regard, and that’s something we need to discuss. And soon.
But more pressing is figuring out what Addison meant just now. Although she was drunk, and being her usual bitchy self, she wasn’t so incoherent that I couldn’t understand what she was saying.
What I’d like to know is who she was referring to, what she said, and why?
Chapter Eighteen
Faye
Rachel is still sleeping off her hangover when I leave the house the next morning. Ky is dropping me into town to meet Adam for breakfast, and then he’s promised to head back to the house to keep Jill company for a couple of hours.
“Are you pissed you’re missing the re-launch?” I ask, buckling my seat belt. I know he’d been looking forward to today’s event at the Middleborough motocross track almost as much as May and Rick—the owners—were.
He cranks the engine into gear, easing the SUV out onto the drive. “Yeah.”
“It’s so unfair considering you’re the one who made it all possible.”
“It wasn’t just me. You donated most of the funds, and lots of people helped with the renovations.” He curses under his breath as we approach the gate. “Keep your head down,” he instructs, glaring at the handful of determined reporters still hanging about outside. I want to roll down my window and scream at them to screw off. To leave my boyfriend and my family alone. It’s their fault that he’s missing out on the re-launch. With the scandal surrounding his bio dad, and news of his being taken in for questioning in his murder, Ky felt it was best to stay away from the track today. He didn’t want to do anything to undermine all the hard work May and Rick have put in. They were understandably upset but grateful all the same. This is make-or-break time for their business, so while I know they wish he was there, they don’t want anything to jeopardize the re-launch. It still sucks though. I was looking forward to it, too, and it would’ve been cool to show Rach and Jill around.
I straighten up once we move past the gate. “Let’s go into Boston today. Show the girls the harbor, do some other touristy stuff, and, if we have time, we could visit Harvard? Then catch dinner and a movie, maybe?”
“Sounds good.” Smiling, he reaches out and takes my hand.
He pulls up in front of the café where I’m meeting Adam and kills the engine. My knees bounce up and down, and my palms are clammy all of a sudden. Ky gets out his side, running around to open my door. “You nervous?” He reels me into his comforting embrace, tucking my hair back behind my ears. I nod. “I can stay with, if you like?” he offers.
I spy Adam by a table at the far side of the window, watching us with a neutral expression. I shake my head as butterflies take up residence in my stomach. “No. I need to do this by myself, but I would like you to meet him, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Lowering his head, he gives me a soft, sweet kiss that takes the edge off my apprehension. Easing back, he scrutinizes my face in that intensive, exploratory way of his. Like he can see straight through to my soul. As if all my thoughts and feelings are wide open for him to analyze. “Ready?”
I grip his hand. “Yes. Come on.” I lead him into the café and down to Adam’s table.
Adam rises, nodding at me. “Faye.” He smiles. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Um, sure.” I chew on the inside of my mouth. “I wanted you to meet my boyfriend. This is Kyler.”
Adam surveys him coolly as Ky extends his hand. He shakes it firmly, eyeballing him the entire time. “It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Ky says, and I have to smother my chuckle. Look at him being all polite and shit.
“Likewise. Thank you for dropping Faye off. I can drive her home after.”
“Actually, we’re heading into Boston. Some of my friends are visiting from Ireland, and we have plans, so it’d be better if Ky just collected me from here.”
“Okay. No problem.” Adam gestures at the empty chair. “I didn’t order yet. I was waiting for you.”
I give him a tentative smile, turning to Ky. “I’ll see you later.”
He pecks my lips, and my cheeks flush. “Message me when you’re ready.” He gives my hand a squeeze before leaving.
I drop down on the chair and—feeling Adam’s eyes on me—bury my face in the menu. The waitress arrives and we place our orders. She fills our cups with coffee, and I set my hands on the table in front of me, trying not to fidget.
He clears his throat. “How long have you been dating Kyler?”
“Not long,” I say, being evasive on purpose.
“He seems like a nice guy.”
I take a sip of my coffee for want of something to do. “He is.” My lips curl up involuntarily. “He’s great.”
“Is he your first boyfriend?”
Is he for real? I’m almost eighteen for cripes sake. “No. I was going out with a guy back home for a couple of years. It was pretty serious, or at least it was at the time.”
“Is it serious with Kyler?”
What’s with the twenty questions? I feel like I’m being interviewed for a job. “Yes. I’m crazy about him.”
The waitress appears with our food, and there’s an uncomfortable silence while we wait for her to leave. I tuck in straightaway, hoping to deflect any more embarrassing questions.
Adam watches me quietly, and I force food down my throat, hugely self-conscious. After a couple minutes, I put my knife and fork down and stare at him. “If you have something to say, just say it.”
He wipes his hands down the front of his trousers. “I’ve been reading the media reports these last few weeks, and I’ve got to be honest, Faye, I’m concerned about you living with the Kennedys.”
James was right.
“You shouldn’t believe everything you read in the papers,” I hiss, stabbing my eggs like they’ve done some injustice to me.
“I understand that, but when you peel back the layers, the fundamentals of what’s being reported are the things that are causing me concern.”
I chew my food slowly, counting to ten in my head. “They are not bad people. They’ve just made some bad mistakes. None of us are perfect.”
“I know we don’t know each other that well, and it will take time for you to trust me, but if you came and l
ived with me, even on a trial basis, it would give us the opportunity to get to know one another, and I’d feel more comfortable knowing you were safe.”
My fork clatters to the table. “Are you implying that I’m not safe with the Kennedys?”
He holds up his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “You have to see it from my point of view. You were almost killed under your uncle’s watch, one of your cousins was recently accused of rape, and your other cousin—your boyfriend—is being investigated for murder. I don’t want my daughter getting caught up in all that.”
I stand up, slamming my chair back with a screech. “None of them have done anything wrong!” I snap, anger getting the better of me. “You’ve been my dad for all of ten seconds, and that doesn’t give you the right to show up here and try to tell me what to do! And how do I even know you are my dad?! All I have is my mother’s word, and that doesn’t count for much these days.” I pull my phone out of my pocket. “This was a mistake. I knew I shouldn’t have come. I asked you for time and you ignored my wishes. I’m leaving, and I’d like you to respect that.”
I don’t even wait for a reply. I just storm out of the place, uncaring that every pair of eyes is glued to my retreating back. I’m shaking as I step out onto the footpath.
“Faye, wait, please. I’m sorry.” Adam plants himself in front of me. “Don’t leave. I was out of line, and, you’re right, I shouldn’t be pushing you. I’m just worried about you.”
“You haven’t earned that right!” I holler.
He shakes his head. “I disagree. I don’t need to earn the right to worry about my own daughter. I’ve only just found out about you, and we’ve already lost so much time!” His eyes glisten. “I want to get to know you, but I’m scared something is going to happen to you before I even get that chance.” He stops, drawing an elongated breath. “Is there a right way to do this? How does one form a relationship from scratch with your almost grownup daughter? A daughter you didn’t know existed until recently?” Ever so gently, he pulls me aside as a couple emerges from the café doing their best to look like they’re not listening.
“I just want a chance to get to know you,” he says more quietly. “A chance to learn to love you like I love my other children. A chance for you to become a part of my family. Is that so bad?”
A blast of cold air hits me full on, and I shiver without my jacket.
He moves in front of me. “Look, it’s freezing out here. Can we go back inside and talk? I promise I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
His honest eyes are pleading, and my anger is fading. “Okay, on one condition. That you accept I am happy living with the Kennedys and you stop criticizing them. James gave me a home when I had nowhere to go, and I’ve grown close to him and my cousins. They are far from perfect, but they’re my far from perfect.”
“I don’t want to be an overbearing father or the type of man that forces anyone to do anything against their will, so I’ll drop it, for now, if you can promise me one thing.”
“Shoot.”
“If you change your mind about living with them that you tell me instantly. That you genuinely reconsider my offer then.”
I shove my icy hands in my jeans pockets. “I can agree to that.”
He smiles, cautiously placing a hand on my lower back. “Okay, let’s go in and eat our breakfast, assuming it’s not cold by now.”
The waitress brings us fresh plates, and the awkward tension has been eliminated. We chat more casually as we eat this time. When my belly is full, I push my plate away and groan. Adam smiles, summoning the waitress over with a hand gesture and holding his cup out for a refill.
I decline, mulling over a few things in my mind. “I’ve been thinking about what you said the last time. About my, um, half-brothers and half-sister. Do they know about me?”
He puts his cup down. “Yes. I told them earlier on in the week. My ex-wife too.”
“And how did they react to the news?”
“The twins are very excited and dying to meet you. Whitney was … quite blasé about the whole thing, but I wouldn’t take that personally. She’s fourteen and going through a difficult stage.”
Hhm. Sounds a bit like someone I know. “Do they look like me?”
“You share the same eyes, but they are more fair-haired. They have my ex-wife’s coloring.” He leans over the table. “I can arrange a time and a neutral place whenever you are ready to meet them. I won’t rush you. Just think about it.”
“Okay. Thank you.” We chat a while longer about his business and the fact that I no longer have a job. The diner remains closed, and now that David is incarcerated in a psychiatric facility it seems unlikely that it will be reopening any time soon. Unless his ex-wife gets control of it, I suppose.
“I want to say something, but don’t read too much into this,” Adam says. “This is not me pressuring you. It’s just a suggestion.”
I automatically stiffen, and he notices. “Please, relax. I meant it when I said I won’t force you into anything. You’re a responsible young adult, and I trust you to make the right choices for you. I just want you to understand you have other choices now too.” Gingerly, he takes my hand in his. “I want to be a part of your life, and I want to help in any way I can. You’ve been through a huge amount these past few months, and I want to protect you from further pain. You’re already precious to me, Faye. Your mother was the greatest love of my life and we created you. How could I not already love you to bits?”
Tears sting my eyes. “Everything has changed so much. It’s challenging to wrap my head around all that’s happened, and some days I don’t even feel like me anymore.”
He pats my hand. “Anyone would struggle to deal with the things you’ve dealt with. It’s natural to feel like that.”
“I do want to get to know you, and my siblings. I just need some time.”
“I understand, and that’s perfectly fine.” He smiles. “I’ll try to be patient.”
I return his smile, carefully removing my hand and placing it in my lap. “So, what was it you were going to say?”
“Well, you know I have my own business.” He has already explained how he moved to New York with his American wife to take up a position in her father’s company just after he graduated from Trinity and married her. Her father’s company developed software for the aviation industry, and Adam rose quickly through the ranks, becoming CEO before he was thirty. When his marriage fell apart, he thought it best to step down. He set up his own tech company, developing regulatory software systems for the financial services industry, and it has developed rapidly. He now employs over two thousand people, and they’ve recently branched out globally. “If you need a part-time job, I can employ you. We are always recruiting. Of course, you would have to move to New York.”
I open my mouth and he holds up a hand, stalling me. “This is not me pressuring you to move in with me. This is me letting you know you have options.”
He seems intent on drilling that point home. “I appreciate that, but I’m going to see if I can find something else locally, unless the diner reopens.” Although that’s probably just wishful thinking.
He looks contemplative. “Good luck with it, and if you need a reference, just let me know.” My brows nudge up, and he laughs. “If I can’t use my position and my connections to help my own daughter out, there is something very wrong with the world.”
“Okay, thanks.” I think.
“Same goes for college. Have you given much thought to what you want to do after graduation?”
How coincidental that he should ask me that when I’ve only recently begun thinking of my future. “I’m not sure what I want to do. Initially, I thought I’d return to Ireland and do social studies or psychology in Trinity but now I don’t want to leave here,” I answer truthfully.
His eyes sparkle with hope. “So you definitely want to go to uni
versity? You’re considering staying in the States and going to school here?”
“Yeah, more than likely. Although …” I trail off, knowing if I follow through that he’ll jump in with the solution.
He cocks his head to one side. “Although?” he prompts, and I know he won’t let it go.
“I don’t think the money my parents left will be enough to cover the cost of university here. From what I’ve heard, it’s way more expensive than back home.” Selling my parents’ house in Dublin is an option, but not something I can bear to think about right now. It’s the last link I have to them, and even though the thoughts of living there without Mum and Dad is excruciatingly difficult, so is the idea of selling the property. I’m not ready for that. At least, not yet.
He places his hands palms down on the table, peering intently into my eyes. “If you want to go to college here, I can help with that. I know you know that, and I’m guessing it’s not something you want to have to accept, but I’m putting it on the table anyway. Don’t let that stop you from making more permanent plans to stay in the States.”
He leans back in his seat, studying me earnestly. “My other children all have trust funds, and I’ve already set one up for you.” I gawp at him. “I won’t treat you any differently just because you have a different mother, or the fact that you weren’t raised by me. You won’t want for anything, Faye. And I’m sure your uncle would say the same.”
I squirm in my seat, hugely uncomfortable with the direction this conversation has taken.
“That makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it?” His observation is astute.
“We weren’t poor, by any means, but I’ve done a full one-eighty since coming here, and it’s hard to grasp sometimes. It feels wrong to be given something I haven’t earned, something I haven’t worked for.”
Unnamed emotion flits across his face. “Saoirse raised you well. I’m already so proud of you.” He takes both my hands in his. “I’m really glad you’re in my life, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you better.”
Keeping Kyler (The Kennedy Boys Book 3) Page 16
