by Nan Dixon
Horace
LIAM COULDN’T RIP his gaze away from Dolley.
For the last week, Dolley had done what they’d paid her to do—document the making of Savannah’s Irish Roots. Their personal conversations were limited to directions and questions.
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. They were through.
She’d accused him of using her to get to her family. Didn’t she understand everything was connected? Dolley, the Fitzgeralds, Savannah. He couldn’t think of one without the other.
She’d pushed him away as easily as she was going to dump her family and town.
Maybe she wasn’t who he’d thought she was. Maybe family wasn’t as important to her as it was to him. Maybe she’d only wanted him to get her a leg up in the business, hoping he’d rocket her to fame.
He inhaled, breathing in freshly mown grass. Bollocks. He was being unfair. He was the one who’d mucked things up—not Dolley. He’d panicked.
He moved closer to the Fitzgerald family plot in Bonaventure Cemetery. The sisters hadn’t known it existed until he’d searched the records.
Tom said something to Dolley, and she laughed, but it was only a half-hearted chuckle.
Liam’s gaze snapped to her.
Her eyes were shadowed, deeper set in her face than they’d ever been. Her smile—nonexistent. If he suggested she count her smiles, she’d probably castrate him. This cold-shoulder routine twisted his belly in knots. Even the crew shot them questioning looks.
“Ready?” he asked Jerry. One more scene and they’d be done for the day.
“Another minute,” Jerry said, changing out a battery.
Dolley pulled a lone weed from between the markers. She didn’t look up as she said, “Thank you for finding them.”
“Eventually, you would have looked.”
“Sometimes I think you care more about our ancestors than we do.” She crouched and turned her camera to the small statue. It marked the grave of one of James and Fiona’s grandchildren. “I don’t know if we would have made the effort.”
Was her comment another jab at him? He couldn’t tell anymore.
“The documentary made me feel close to them.” James and Fiona had become his family. He held up a hand. “You’ve made an effort. Last time I was here, the place wasn’t maintained.”
Now the weeds were gone. The sign saying Do Not Maintain had been removed, and flowering bushes lined the plot.
“After you told us about their graves, Bess hauled us out here.” Dolley sighed. “We had lunch while we worked. Just like great-grandmamma, I guess.”
“It looks nice.” He wanted to touch her. He missed the feel of her skin under his fingers. Missed kissing her and talking about their days. And he missed sinking into her body and having her melt around him.
“Why are you shooting out here?” she asked, still focused on her camera.
They hadn’t talked about schedules or story lines for a week. And they hadn’t talked or worked on her craft, either. This was the longest conversation they’d had in seven days.
“I plan to go back to Ireland and film in front of Michael’s grave. Show the differences and the similarities between the two brothers.”
She stood and looked at him with sorrow-filled eyes. “Was this documentary always going to be about my family?”
“No. It was going to be about Savannah’s Irish roots. Then I thought it was about haves and have-nots. But you made me push deeper. It changed. Now it’s about what your family did for the immigrants.” He stepped closer, so the crew wouldn’t hear. “I’ve changed, too.”
She took a step back.
“May I?” He held out his hand. He’d promised to help her with her art and hadn’t fulfilled his part of the bargain.
She handed him the camera.
The emotions in the stills slapped him. Loneliness. Solitude. Sorrow. She’d shot the pictures in unforgiving black and white film. The sunlight shining on the plot wasn’t warm, but harsh and ugly. Raw grief stared up at him.
The pictures were—incredible. But not his Dolley. Not the joy he’d come to rely on.
His fault.
She chewed her lip, waiting.
“What were you looking to expose?” His words croaked out.
“I...” She stared into his eyes.
“Pain. Grief.”
She nodded.
“They’re amazing.”
“Really?” Confusion slipped over her face like a mask.
“I hate them.” He touched her cheek, couldn’t stop himself.
She closed her eyes and relaxed into the cup of his hand for a few heavenly seconds, then jerked away. “You hate them?”
“Because they aren’t you. You always find the good in life.” He shook the camera. “This view is my outlook on the world—not yours.”
She stared at the headstones. “It’s sad that we didn’t take care of their resting place.”
“I hate that I’ve done this to you,” he whispered.
She stared up at him. “I’ll get over it. Over you. I always do.”
“Can we talk? Tonight?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“We’re ready,” Jerry called.
Liam took a breath, trying to shake off his sorrow. He had a job to do.
Before coming to Savannah, filmmaking had been his life. Before he’d met the Fitzgeralds. Before he’d been with Dolley.
Now he wanted more.
He didn’t know how to win her back. After analyzing what had gone wrong, he knew what his problem was. He’d thought his sense of belonging came from Dolley’s family and Savannah. But it didn’t. It was Dolley. She was the one who forced him to smile. She was the one to brighten his day.
He was in love with her. Her.
And he’d made the woman he loved miserable. If he couldn’t have a life with Dolley, maybe he could help make her dream of travel and photography come true.
* * *
WATCHING LIAM WORK each day was like pouring salt on the hole in her heart. Dolley moved behind Jerry, making sure she didn’t step into the frame.
She zoomed in on Liam’s face. The makeup Sonjia had applied didn’t disguise the shadows under his eyes. Those eyes blazed as he talked about James and Fiona. Even though she stood to the side of the camera, it was like he spoke only to her.
They repeated the take two more times, but finally wrapped for the day.
Dolley packed up her camera and filters.
Liam stopped next to her. “We haven’t worked together for a while. I’d like to go back to Corrine’s statue and see these bushes you said would flower. See what you can do now.”
His offer broke the wound in her heart open again. She hated the idea of spending even more time with him. And working together on her photography was too intimate.
But she’d be a fool not to get a few last hints on how to improve her art. “I could use the walk.”
“You drove?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Can I catch a ride back to Carleton House? Then the crew won’t have to wait.”
“Sure.” She closed her eyes. They could work together, but she didn’t have to talk to him.
“Thank you.” Liam talked to Jerry and came back with his camera bag.
“Do you ever go anywhere without your cameras?” she asked, forgetting that she’d planned to keep their conversation to a minimum.
“Not often. And if I do, I regret it.” He pulled out a Nikon she hadn’t seen before. “Like when I came down to Christmas breakfast without one and had to run back upstairs.”
Christmas. That was aeons ago. She’d been like a puppy, trying to make Liam happy.
She stopped at a statue of an angel all crust
ed in black. Flowers bloomed at the base of the monument, bright spots of pink.
Liam knelt next to the ornate black iron fence. He took a breath before clicking the shutter. What was he after?
Without words, they exchanged cameras.
He studied her work. “Go in tighter. Make sure the cracks in her face show.”
She scrolled through the shots he’d taken. “Were you capturing repeating patterns?”
“I’ve been taking them for a couple of weeks. I thought it could be a series.”
Once he gave back her camera, she tightened the focus so each pit and crevasse in the stone told a story. The shutter clicked as she captured several images.
Even as she reviewed the shots, she knew they were better than the ones she’d taken earlier. When would she do the right thing by instinct instead of needing to be told?
Maybe she would never be more than a hobbyist. She handed her camera to him. “You were right.”
“These are good.” He tapped the final picture. “Don’t be afraid to show the imperfections. Life is filled with flaws. They make the world and people more interesting.”
Was he trying to tell her something she didn’t know? Liam’s flaw of using her to acquire a family could not be ignored.
She had to move on from their relationship. If she could never have what her sisters had found with Gray and Daniel, then she would have a career that made her happy.
And to do that, she needed to learn everything she could from Liam. She had two weeks.
They took pictures of Corrine and the river until it was closing time. The azaleas were a cloud of pink behind the statue.
Even she could tell her emotions had changed since he’d looked at her pictures of the angel earlier today. So had his.
“This is peaceful,” she said.
“Something you never thought you’d see in one of my pictures?” A somber smile flashed across his face.
He’d stopped smiling again, and she didn’t have the energy to remind him.
“No. You’re always so...intense. I mean your pictures. They’re intense,” she stuttered.
He handed her camera back. “And these pictures are, if not hopeful, at least content.”
So a photo didn’t have to reflect the chaos inside her. If she could figure out how to wall up her own disappointment, maybe she could succeed.
No, she would succeed.
“Hi, Liam.” A worker drove toward them. “Time to get moving. I need to close up.”
“Will do, Paul.”
They packed up their cameras. “How does he know your name?” she asked.
“Paul’s kicked me out of the cemetery a few times.”
They were together every day. When had he had the time?
“This is one of my favorite spots in Savannah. I can’t stay away.” Liam matched his stride with hers. “Thank you for sharing it with me the first day we came out here. The last set of pictures you took are good. I’d like to add a section to the website on the cemetery. If we give the photos proper attribution, could we buy some of your pictures?”
“You don’t have to pay me.” She waved her hand. “Not when we’re taking pictures together.”
“You’re a professional. You should be paid for your work.” He stopped. “Don’t forget that.”
A professional. She never thought of herself that way. It took Liam to make that clear.
“I won’t.” Dolley bit her lip, forcing back the tears. She would never forget him.
* * *
“THANKS FOR CALLING BACK, EVAN.” Liam pushed out of his chair and headed to the balcony off his room.
“Are you giving up fame and glory to work for me again?” Evan asked.
“You were too demanding a boss.” But years ago, Evan had given him a shot. “I do have a promising apprentice you might like to hire on her way out of the starting gate.”
“I thought you’d sworn off apprentices.” Evan’s laugh was deep and filled with gravel.
“I had, but she’s good.” Dolley would be the last person he mentored.
“You’ve got me intrigued. Loner Liam working with someone. Shoot me some of her work.”
“I can do better than that. Check out this blog. Most of the pictures were taken before we worked together. Dolley Fitzgerald. She has a lovely writing voice.”
“You know I like photojournalists.”
“They keep your costs down.” Liam gave him the website address. And waited.
He could hear Evan on his keyboard.
“Where are you right now?” Evan asked.
“I’m in Savannah at the B and B. What page of the website are you on?”
“Some of the construction shots. Ooh. That’s nice.”
“Dolley maintains the blog and takes the pictures. She’s talented.”
“I’ll take a look at the blog and call you if there’s anything we can test her on.”
“Thanks.” He paused, then added, “I’m also calling Amelia.”
“My competition?” Evan huffed. “Give me a couple of days before you do.”
Liam nodded. “I will.”
After ending the call, he gazed across the dimly lit courtyard to Dolley’s dark apartment. He wanted to tell her what he’d done but couldn’t. Even though they’d worked together this afternoon, she wouldn’t want him knocking on her door.
He’d screwed up. But maybe, just maybe, his conversation with Evan would make her dream come true.
* * *
“DOLLEY!” ANNE WAVED from a table in the back of the pub. Green shamrocks hung around the bar, and the bartenders all wore green derby hats.
For the first time ever, she wasn’t in the celebrating spirit.
Dolley wove her way through the crowd. She’d forgotten how noisy O’Gara’s could be. The St. Patrick’s Day visitor invasion had begun. Both Fitzgerald and Carleton House were full. This was her last free night for the next week.
“It’s been ages since I’ve seen you.” Anne wrapped her in a bear hug. “I thought you were ignoring me.”
“The film world works long hours.” Dolley took off her coat and settled at the tiny table. It was time to get back to real life. Reconnect with her friends and figure out what she wanted to do about the job offer.
“I’m glad you called.” Anne leaned over, raising her voice. “What are you drinking?”
Dolley looked at Anne’s bright green drink. “How is that one?”
“Good.” Anne flagged down a server. Held up her drink and two fingers. “You need to catch up.”
Dolley dredged up a smile. Anne filled her in on company gossip, but nothing soothed the malaise that had suffocated her since she and Liam had ended things.
Getting dumped had never set her back this long. She’d always granted herself twenty-four hours to wallow, and then she’d jumped back in to the swing of life.
“How’s Connor?” she asked Anne.
“Incredible.” A dreamy smile stretched across her friend’s face. “I went to North Carolina last weekend.”
“You’ve been dating since October?” Five months. “You’ve never dated anyone that long.”
“I know.” Anne tilted her head. “I think... I think we lasted this long because it started out long-distance. We learned so much more about each other before we slept together. All the phone calls, emails and notes. He’s so thoughtful.”
Everyone around her was falling in love. Jealousy licked at her like a long-tongued snake, but she pushed it away. “Are you happy?”
Anne nodded. “We’ve discussed my moving to the Triangle and living with him.”
Dolley caught Anne’s hand. “That is serious.”
“Very. I’ve talked to Jackson about working remotely.” Ann
e wrinkled her nose. “He wants to make me a contract employee.”
“Of course.” Dolley rolled her eyes. “Are you going to do it?”
“Maybe.” Anne wore a goofy grin. “Any new developments with your gorgeous Irishman?”
Dolley hadn’t told Anne about Liam. That was a first. They’d always shared their dating stories. Now there was nothing to tell. “It’s been interesting working on this film. I’ve learned so much from him.” Learned not to trust a man willing to sleep with her.
Zoom in on the flaws. Maybe there was a life lesson there. Liam had flaws galore. He was too serious. He loved her family and Savannah more than her.
“When we were at Kevin Barry’s, he watched you.” Anne tapped her nose.
“He did?” She tried to act shocked.
“I thought he would have made his move by now.”
“No.” Move made and done. She swallowed. “We just work together.”
“Well, that’s a goldarn pity.” Anne’s fingers bounced along with the music.
Dolley finished her first drink. She couldn’t talk about Liam anymore. “I have a job offer.”
She talked Anne through Barb’s offer. Her voice grew hoarse from shouting. When had the pub setting become so uncomfortable?
“A year ago, your bags would have been packed, and you’d be waving as you drove away,” Anne said. “What happened?”
Liam.
“It’s not what I want.” Dolley sighed. “It’s still website design, not photography.”
“What about the B and B?” Anne asked.
“My sisters will be fine if I leave.” Maybe. She rested her head in her hand. “I always wanted to leave, but now that I have the chance, I don’t know what to do. My family built the B and B from the ground up. Together. Can I really just leave?”
“Your mother isn’t involved anymore.”
“She and Aunt CeCe bought half of the furniture for Carleton House.”
Maybe she would never escape Fitzgerald House. Maybe she didn’t want to. Maybe she wasn’t strong enough to start a new career.
Someone tapped her shoulder. “Dolley, want to dance?”
“Jerry?” If he was here, was Liam? She scanned the room but didn’t spot him in the sea of bodies. “Anne, this is Jerry. He’s working on the documentary.”
