I watch the petals from the magnolia trees cascade to the grass and feel the breeze cooling my hot skin. I’m rethinking my mom’s methodology about giving people second changes since clearly it hasn’t worked out for her. Maybe what Corey and Mom felt in the beginning of the relationship was an illusion, a dream that they wanted to become a reality but never did. Expectations were set too high or maybe they got together for the wrong reasons. I hate seeing this happen all over again. I wish for my mom what I have with Cane.
Baby steps. The ones I’ve taken have been much smaller than any twenty-two-year-old needs to take, but people experience and handle things in their own way. Cane is the relationship that I never thought I would find. He’s the missing part that my family and Tyler couldn’t provide. Ours is a different kind of love, one that he made easy for me by gently allowing the barricade I had built up over the years to come falling down. I don’t see anyone else but him in my future. Everything I could ever ask for is wrapped up in him.
I’m lucky to have found him. His patience and understanding comes from his close-knit family. His parents have been married for twenty-five years, and they were college sweethearts. He has an older sister Vienna, and a younger sister, Jocelyn. I love spending time with his family. They welcomed me with open arms. I feel at home with them; they’ve become a second family to me.
“Since when have you done this running thing of yours in the AM?” I gaze up into Jace’s eyes; his face glistens with sweat as he wipes his forehead and takes a long gulp of water.
“Since I felt like shit,” I reply, squinting into the sun. “What are you doing here? I thought you said you’re going to the gym.”
“Plans changed.” He smirks, taking another sip of water, and dropping his sunglasses over his eyes.
“A girl?” I ask, lifting my hand so he can help me off the grass.
“Maybe.” He laughs. “You gonna drink that?” He grins crookedly, pointing to the bottle of water in my other hand.
“Yeah, so back off.” I pipe, turning away as he attempts to snatch it from me.
“Damn, sis, you never liked to share.” He chuckles, throwing his hands up in defeat.
“If you ask nicely, I might.” I smirk, taking a long sip of water.
The quiet morning is interrupted by blaring music from an SUV coming around the corner a little too fast on the residential street. It pulls up right in front of where we’re standing.
“What the hell?” I murmur, folding my arms across my chest. What lunatic would do this so early in the morning?
“Relax, sis.” Jace picks up his backpack and beach towel. “That’s my ride,” he says, stepping towards the curb.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch or anything, but can you tell your buddies to turn it down? It’s not even eight o’clock in the morning, and they’re pissing people off.” I say, shaking my head in disgust.
“All right, all right.” He laughs as he turns to his friend, motioning for him to turn down the music. He spins back to me. “Happy now?” He smirks, throwing his backpack in the trunk of the car.
“It’s not just me but everyone here.” I reply.
I glance at the testosterone-filled boys yelling sexual comments out the windows. Frowning, I turn away to block out their vulgar remarks, not in the mood for a verbal battle with Jace’s horny friends.
“Come hang out with us.” One of his friends yells from the truck.
“I’ll pass,” I answer. I look roll my eyes at Jace, silently questioning his choice of friends.
“Stop acting so uptight. Have a little fun.” Jace grins as he climbs into the SUV, punching the friend who obviously made a comment to me. “Tell Mom I’ll be home late, but I’ll be home.”
“Sure.” I watch them pull away and wish I were heading someplace alone with Cane, where there’s warm water, sand, and nothing else. However, I have too many responsibilities and plenty of bills to pay. Such a glorious summer morning and I have to go to work.
The crowd at the track has thinned out and street traffic has increased since I first got here, which signals the end of my peaceful morning. If I don’t pick up the pace, I’m going to be late for work. Putting my ear buds back in, I head home with a much better perspective on the today.
The first thing I hear about when I walk in the center is Reed’s one-night stand. My good mood goes out the window. Did it even last an hour? For the life of me, I don’t even know why it bothers me. Maybe this whole thing annoys me because I’ve always had a soft heart, and talking with Reed last night was one of those moments that felt special.
But not only that, last night at the park with Reed was special to me in other ways. What I was experiencing—the blushing, the butterflies, the schoolgirl crush–-were feelings that I haven’t felt since Cane and I got together.
Why would any of these emotions surface when I’m happy with Cane? I watch Evelyn’s sparkling silver earrings swing from side to side as she tells me the details. I guess my limited experience in relationships over my twenty-two years plays a large part in this. I’m sure it happens all of the time, but I have to say it repulses me.
Feeling overwhelmed, I stop listening when she says he was all over some girl named Mindy at the club last night. I would prefer that anyone involved in his extracurricular activities remain anonymous.
I escape to the lounge to get away from Evelyn’s chatter only to find Tyler, who forces me to hear his version of the events involving Reed. He seems overly impressed by this guy. I see Tyler’s lips move but hear nothing. Leaning my head back on the couch, I close my eyes, thinking to myself how stupid I am to think there is something different about this guy.
“Elle?”
“Huh?” I pop my eyes open to find both Tyler and Reed standing in front of me. I glance at them, briefly resting my eyes on Reed, and then I abruptly look away, unable to stomach looking at him.
I want to pound on his chest and tell him what a jerk he is for causing all of this emotional bullshit, but he doesn’t know he has caused any of these feelings in me. I shouldn’t be upset at him, right? No, this is my problem to deal with. He doesn’t know and he can’t know.
“Hi,” Reed says in a soft and confident tone. He keeps checking his cell phone, probably for a text or call from his date last night. Was it a date? Why do I even care? I get annoyed watching him, or maybe I’m irritated with myself for getting all bent out of shape over a guy I barely know.
“Hey,” I reply, trying, but failing, to mask my discomfort. I’m battling with two emotions for this guy—desire and disgust. I think he knows that I’ve heard about his little fling from last night because his eyes lose their spark as he drops his chin to his chest. For a brief second, I see a kink in his armor. Maybe he’s not the conceited ass that he tries to be and there is actually a soft spot deep, deep down. I don’t know, and I shouldn’t care.
“Need to get to work,” Tyler says, cringing as he glances at the clock. “You coming? Can’t have the boss napping on the job.”
“Great,” I mumble. Getting up from the sofa, I feel a rush of nausea and immediately sit back down as the room spins around me. “Oh.” I breathe. Both Tyler and Reed rush to my aid. I close my eyes to minimize the dizziness.
After a few seconds, I hear Tyler say, “Take it easy. I’ll be right back.”
I feel Reed rubbing my arm. Over and over, he whispers, “Just breathe.”
Flicking my eyes open, I find Reed’s intense cobalt eyes gazing at me. Shaking my head dismissively, I slowly push his hand away because his touch makes my skin tingle. I have to stay away from him, but he’s making it hard for me to do that.
He stops, searching my face before sighing and shaking his head, “Are you okay?” His drawl is like sugar, sweet and addicting.
“I’m fine. I think I just stood up too quickly.” The air between us crackles. Even after finding out what he did last night, the craving is still there and that’s what makes this all so irritating. Why won’t these feelings stop
? He means nothing to me. Where’s Cane?
As if he knows I’m thinking of him, Cane rushes into the lounge, with Tyler following close behind him. His brown eyes are tense, his forehead creased with worry. Reed looks from me to Cane before he quietly rises and steps aside to let him through.
“What happened, babe?” He asks frantically. He kneels in front of me, placing his hand on my forehead. I smile weakly, gaze into his worried eyes, and then I look around me, noticing that everyone is staring at me.
“Not sure.” I clutch his arm tightly, wanting to leave. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just want Cane to take me away from their eyes. From him. Maybe it’s him and the fact that what he did makes me nauseous, or it could just be that I feel guilty for thinking about this gorgeous stranger way too much and not grasping what he does to me.
“Maybe it’s all the running you are doing?” He says, rubbing my thigh.
“I’ve been running for years, babe.” I half smile, placing my hand over his. “It’s probably nothing. Just a little tired from putting in so many hours here.” I chuckle softly.
“Are you sure?” His eyebrows pinch together.
“Yes. Stop treating me like I’m fragile.” I smile, cupping his cheek.” He grins, leaning into my hand and looks up at Reed and Tyler who continue to linger in the room.
“She’s fine guys; I’ve got it from here,” Cane says. He brushes the hair away from my face, kisses me on the cheek, and pulls me up from the sofa.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Tyler says emotionless as he glances at Cane. After so many years of friendship, Tyler just can’t help but feel protective of me even with Cane around, and that’s something that annoys Cane about our friendship. My eyes gravitate to Reed, not sure what to make of him. He’s standing quietly with his hands at his sides looking just as gorgeous as he did yesterday. He’s wearing red running shorts and a snug black t-shirt, but now the shiny new toy has a scratch on it.
Cane smirks at me as I shove a toasted everything bagel smothered in peanut butter in my mouth from the Starbucks around the corner. I guess this is what they call emotional eating. I smile at him when he swipes some peanut butter from my lip before licking it off his finger.
“That’s some good peanut butter.” He grins devilishly, his eyes lingering on my lips.
“Yeah,” I mumble between chews. “I better slow down, or I’m going to turn into a tank.”
“Well, I can help with that; I know a really good way to burn calories,” he says softly, biting his lower lip suggestively.
“Haha.” I smile, wiping my hands on a napkin. Slowly, the queasiness is going away with the combination of Cane’s tenderness and the food in my stomach. Leaning back in the booth, I stare out the window, thinking about what just happened at the center. It was nothing. I just have a lot on my mind. I turn back to Cane and smile.
“You’re cute when you’re frustrated.” His eyes dance with amusement as he leans forward, his face inches away from mine. I smell the clean scent of his skin and his cologne.
“Frustrated is not even the word.” I touch his arm as he reaches across the table. Taking my hand, he kisses my knuckles. I get all warm inside, wishing we were not in a public place. Cane, my Prince Charming, my shoulder to cry on, and so much more.
“Talk to me, Elle. What’s bothering you?” he asks before he plants his sweet lips on top of my hand again. His warm brown eyes search my face. I know he loves me. I know it when he looks at me like this.
I can’t concentrate after learning about Reed. It’s not what he did; it has more to do with me and my reaction to him at the park last night. I feel stupid about it, for allowing myself to fall for his charm. I’d avoided guys like him up until now, but I sensed something in him that was good, sincere, and kind. Instead, he’s just a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and I almost fell into his trap. A guy like him knows how to play the game and how to get laid with no strings attached. Not that I should care. So, why am I sitting here thinking about him? You know why; you just need to acknowledge it. Figure out how to deal with it.
“I don’t know.” I pause, sighing deeply. “I feel lost. You ever get that feeling?” I gaze into his tender eyes; he squeezes my hand a little harder, a little tighter. Is this how he felt when he cheated on me with his ex the first month into our relationship? Did a loss of control cause him to stray?
Our very first argument was about his ex. I was leery about her because she was the jealous type and still lingered in the shadows. She kept texting and calling him. He didn’t understand, or want to understand, where I was coming from when I told him he needed to end all communication. He said I was overreacting, that there was nothing going on. He felt like I didn’t trust him, but it wasn’t that. It was that I didn’t trust her. The guilt of whatever he did ate him up inside until he finally told me that he had cheated.
He begged me for another chance, promising it would never happen again. I finally agreed after a few weeks because we missed each other desperately. Remembering it now makes me grateful that we made the effort. Second chances are worth it if both people are willing to work through it.
“Sure, I get the feeling of being lost. I graduated last month. I’m going to grad school in the fall, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to enter the big bad world and be an adult.” He smiles, looking me over. “I like where I am right now though, here with you. This feels right.” He smiles and takes both of my hands in his. “Is this about us?”
“No,” I lie. I feel horrible and look away, hoping he doesn’t see the uncertainty in my eyes. “It’s my mom.” I reply, not wanting to think about the past, or Reed and the feelings that he’s bringing to the surface. “I don’t know if I can help her. I don’t know if she wants to hear the truth, and I don’t know if I want to be the one to tell her. I’m seeing a side of her that scares me.”
“Sometimes just listening is enough; sometimes that’s all a person wants,” he says, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. “You’re strong Elle; whatever happens you’ll be okay. And you’ve always got me.” Turning to him, I meet his eyes and smile as he gently brushes his hand against my cheek. “Elle, you saved us. I slipped, and you caught me when I should have been catching you. So I’ll be catching you from now on, and keeping you.” He smiles and leans into me, placing his lips tenderly over mine.
I won’t jeopardize what I have with Cane, not for anyone. I won’t let it happen. I shake the thoughts away and look into my boyfriend’s warm eyes, his handsome face, the constant in my life for the past two years who helped me open my heart up to love. “You’re worth it, babe. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” He says, a smile touching the corner of his lips. “So, how are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” I smile, clutching his hands.
“Really?” He pouts. “I was thinking of taking the rest of the day off and going back to my place so I can nurse you back to health.” He winks, smiling enticingly.
“Is that all you think about?” I grin, looking at him through my lashes.
“No, first you, and then that. The two kinda overlap.” He stares at me wickedly and my breath catches when his hand slides up my thigh.
“Cane.” I whimper, placing my hand over his. “Tempting babe, totally. But I need to work. Need the money. But I promise to make it up to you.”
“Promise?” He croons, leaning over the table.
“Yes.” I sigh as I lean in to kiss him.
I wait outside the center after work, pacing back and forth on the grass, and anxiously twirling my hair. Cane is locking up so that we can get out of here and spend some time together. Away from work, away from other people, and especially away from Reed and what happened in the lounge. I need to get over it and not worry about one encounter with a guy who means nothing to me. Things couldn’t be any better between Cane and me right now, and I don’t want anyone or anything to ruin it.
I hear my phone go off, pulling me from my thoughts. I smile whe
n I see a text from Tyler come across.
Tyler: U guys heading out tonight?
Elle: Not sure.
Tyler: Let me know.
Elle: U like being a third wheel?
Tyler: If you’re the second. ;)
Elle: I can’t get rid of u, can I?
Tyler: U know u can’t live without me.;)
Elle: Pfffttt...
I shove my phone in my backpack and laugh. Tyler has that uncanny ability to make me smile, pull me out of any funk, and piss me off, sometimes even at the same time.
“Hey there.”
I turn at the sound of Cane’s familiar voice as he swings through the double glass doors. He just showered, and his blonde hair is damp and slicked back. His blue jeans and a gray t-shirt enhance his muscular frame. My heart swells at the mere sight of him. All I can think about is putting my lips on his and having his arms wrapped around me. Walking toward me with his backpack slung over his shoulder, he smiles and immediately slips my backpack off my shoulder, transfers it to his, and gives me that kiss I was just thinking about.
“Hey, handsome.” I smile, nudging him with my hip. “What do you wanna do tonight?”
“I’m wanna spend time with my girlfriend,” he says, kissing my cheek. “You look amazing even after working all day, and your ass in those jeans...” He shakes his head in awe, his sexy brown eyes caressing my body. “Love,” he says adoringly and playfully as he smacks the object of his attention.
Breaking Elle Page 8
