He smiled, “You want me as much as I want you. When you are through playing games, call me.” He looked long at her and closed the door behind him.
* * *
Early the next morning Sydney woke from a deep sleep. She didn’t understand what was happening to her. There was something familiar about Nicholas—his body, the way he held her but she couldn’t connect the dots and therefore ignored her senses and rose from the bed to walk on her terrace.
Opening the French doors, she looked around. There in the midst of workers stood Nicholas. He pivoted on his heels to see what caught the workers’ attention. He felt her presence. She willed him to see her.
He smiled and Sydney realized that the workers noticed her unusual fixed gaze on the tall handsome young man. He stared back at her which made her feel uneasy. It didn’t make Danny uneasy; he knew that she wanted him. He felt a tinge of jealousy, until he realized that it didn’t matter, it was him that she desired. He forgot about it and continued planting the bougainvilleas.
That evening the moon rose early, as Sydney prepared to read, make her final calls to the children, and before she opened to the last chapter in her book, she turned to reach for the phone. The light caught the silhouette of a well developed body. “What are you doing here?” Danny stepped out of his shadow. His eyes glowing and shirt opened midway down his chest. His sleeves were cut off and she could see the formation of his hard rock arms. The sight of the arms and chest and his stance excited her more than she could express.
“I came to bring you these plants for your terrace.” He placed them on the floor near the fireplace.
“How did you get in here?” Sydney said turning to face Danny then stepping into her white ivory slippers. She wore a see through silk gown. She wasn’t aware that she was bare underneath the sheer blue night gown. The robe to the gown draped on the chair and it hung where Danny stood. She moved in his direction to retrieve it, but he stepped in front of the chair.
He looked around to see what Sydney wanted, and with his right hand, he raised the robe in front of him. She moved closer with look of panic in her eyes yet she would not scream. As she walked closer the moon revealed her nakedness and Danny’s eyes sparkled, which revealed his thoughts. She stood facing him and moved closer raising her hand to retrieve the robe. Then he intentionally dropped the robe to the floor.
Sydney bent to pick it up and Danny stepped on it as he grabbed her arms and lifted her to face him. She pushed away from him and ran to the door but he dashed in front of it to block her exit. She headed for the phone near her bed, and he grabbed her gown, and tore the thin straps and the gown dropped and revealed her naked tan body. He stood gazing at her as she closed her eyes knowing what could come next. He picked up her warm naked body, her eyes wide open now, as he stared into her eyes. She tried to slap him. He threw her on the soft silk sheets and gently buried his head into her warm breasts. He reached with one hand and pulled the light from the wall. Now, the only light that flowed into Sydney’s face came from the moon.
“You’re so beautiful. I want you and I know you want me.” He spoke before his tongue reached her clitoris. Sydney cried from the intensity of the feeling. He moved up her body and kissed her breasts taking then in his hands and moving his head from one breast to the other. Never had she felt this kind of passion: it was warm, seductive, hard, soft, intense.
Their hunger lips reached for the other. They kissed in the dark, Sydney felt as though she had known this kiss, but it was different and the body although different felt familiar.
“Make love to me Nicky,” she whispered. “I want you more than you can imagine.” Danny eased his mouth to her breasts and cradled them in his hands, looked up at her and her face was that of his love. The love of his life, and he couldn’t believe that he was once again lying with her and loving her. He made his way to her nipples once more and his mouth and tongue played with them until they felt ripe and ready to burst. Sydney lay screaming for more.
“Please more! Please give me more!” Her head moved on the pillow, back and forward in sexual excitement and sexual frenzy.
Danny began to kiss her legs, and then turned her on her stomach, kissing her buttocks, and then sliding his tongue until his mouth reached for her clitoris, and he felt her every movement as her body prepared to burst from the excitement and satisfaction of his lovemaking. When his tongue felt her fullness, she burst. She murmured,“Fuck me! Fuck me!” He faced her stomach and moved up to her breasts, then stared in her eyes.
“I’m making love to you because I want you. I will always make love to you any way you want just be mine. I don’t want to just fuck you,” Danny said, as he began to complete his lovemaking, and when Sydney felt his gentle loving movement of his body, she became more excited. She had never dreamed that any sexual experience with a stranger could be as intense as anything she could ever feel.
Sydney enjoyed the heat from his strong body, she enjoyed when he came inside her and when he kissed her as he finished. This was a young caring man, one she had not seen since she met Danny, yet he was too young and besides she said that she would marry Alan. But how could she marry Alan and in an instant falling in love with Nicholas.
She looked at Nicholas lying next to her holding her hand, “I can never be anything to you.”
“You can be everything to me,” Danny murmured, leaning over Sydney.
“I’m going to be married.” Danny sat up in bed, and didn’t say a word; he put his pants on and then his shirt, and walked out with Sydney begging him to come back.
The next morning Sydney rose to call Manuel in the worker’s cottage.
“Manuel, have Nicholas Grant come see me during breakfast.”
“He’s gone Mrs. McCloud.”
“Where has he gone?!” Sydney’s felt as if she couldn’t breath. She tried to catch her breath. She tried to speak: she couldn’t. She wanted to ask why, when.
“I don’t know but his agent Max might know where he is.” Sydney knew it had to be Max because he was taking care of the home for her. She was angry and heartbroken, and couldn’t believe that he would leave when she wanted and needed him. She wanted him more than he could imagine. It was the lovemaking that excited her that gave her a life. It was him that she wanted.
The hearts wants what the heart wants she had been thinking.
She could have had that with Jeremy, but she felt guilty whenever he was around. Jeremy was a mistake. She could never forgive herself for making a mistake. Maybe it was Danny’s leaving her so much that made her turn to Jeremy, she thought.
Now she has found the man she could love and enjoy, and she was stupid enough to tell him that she was going to marry, and he ran him away from her. She told Alan that she could never love him. She had been too honest and look where it has gotten her.
Sydney reached for the phone and called Max.
“Max this is Sydney.”
“Yes Sydney, what can I do for you?”
“The young man who was taking care of my property is gone, and I didn’t get a chance to speak with him. I was pleased with his work and I wanted to know if you know where he is?”
“Are you talking about Nicholas Grant?”
“I sent him on an audition and he got the job. He’s in Canada. I don’t think he’ll be back soon. Maybe in the next four to six months.”
“If you hear from him, tell him I want to see him.”
“I thought you had a buyer for the house?” Max said.
“I don’t know if I’m going to sell it. You know how Danny loved that house.”
“Well if you don’t sell, I think I can get Nicholas to take care of the place when you’re in New York, however, I’ll have to check with him. I’ll contact him later.”
“Tell him he has a permanent job when he’s in-between jobs.”
“I’ll text him as soon as I hang up.”
“Could I get his number?”
“I don’t think I can do that, but I’ll ask him
if it’s ok to give out his cell number.”
“Let me know what he says.”
Sydney’s voice had a sound of desperation. She couldn’t hide the crack in her voice as she mentioned Nicholas’s name. How had she allowed herself to be smitten once again by a beautiful young man? Maybe he reminded her of Danny. Maybe he reminded her of the love she holds in her body for Danny, and maybe she can’t fathom losing the love of her life and never having to touch him and love him again.
It could be all those things, but it was also the burning attraction she had for him, which sent her over the edge with longing. Being near Nicholas reminded her of the nights she spent wanting Danny and all the nights she finally had him near her.
As she walked around Danny’s home, she never considered it hers. It was the country villa in Italy, which he bought for her that she loved. Not her apartment in New York, or his home in California. There were too many hard memories that caused her to put little value on it, but it was also the memories of Danny that she could not bear to sell it. She was in a dilemma once again. She stayed in a state of siege. Her body kept her a prisoner.
The phone rang and rang. Sydney answered it reluctantly knowing it was from Alan.
“Darling, can you come to New York? I’m here waiting for you and I have a surprise for you.”
“I guess I can fly back tomorrow.”
“I’ll have my jet fly you in.”
“Yes O.K. Alan, but I don’t like surprises.”
“I love you,” Alan whispered into the phone.
“I miss you. I’ll see you soon.”
New York
Sydney knew she should go home to see about her children. But she felt they were in good hands. It was the baby that she didn’t want to leave for long. Next time she would visit Danny’s home, she would bring all the children and then stay longer. Maybe put Sean in school there. He would love California because of the sun. He could never get use to the cold weather because of living in Texas. Sydney stayed as long as possible to hold on to her feelings for Danny and now Nicholas.
It was a strange feeling that covered her. She didn’t feel ashamed of having sex with Nicholas and she didn’t know why. She couldn’t explain it, even though she tried to make herself feel ashamed of her actions. She enjoyed her lovemaking with Nicholas. How could that be wrong she asked? Once again she said, “The hearts wants what the heart wants.”
Here she was engaged to Alan, a respected and rich architect and jealous of Jeremy’s marriage to Nadia, and in love with a poor actor. She felt alone and deserted.
She began to find every excuse why she shouldn’t marry Alan, but she couldn’t spend her life waiting for Nicholas. He was just a one night stand. A one night stand she would give anything to have again.
Reluctantly, Sydney flew back to New York and began making arrangements to marry Alan. Alan had discussed marrying in Brazil where he had built a five star hotel, where they could honeymoon in the wilds of Brazil away from everyone. At first, Sydney thought that it would be an exciting adventure, until she met Nicholas.
Chapter 7
A Year Later
The arrangements for Sydney’s marriage to Alan Brule had been finalized; however, Sydney wanted to delay the inevitable. Alan had arranged for a party at his penthouse in New York and there he would announce their marriage to the world.
Sydney knew there would be a host of Alan’s friends from Paris as well as reporters and magazine editors because he appeared on their covers as one of the richest men in the world. None the less Architecture Digest would be along to cement its cover on how Alan lived and who decorated his home and hotels. The movers and shakers from around the world would be there to see the lucky woman.
The only people Sydney had to invite would be Steven and Heather. Her parents and friends were simple people and didn’t trust people who were rich, especially the ones where you couldn’t track their wealth. There would be a crowd of socialites, whom Steven knew from his salon and the usual celebrities—actors and musicians.
Sydney’s marriages had always been a simple affair. Now Alan was making a big production and she had to gather her strength to be able to get through the night. Tonight she was on her own.
Without Steven to give her hair and makeup tips or what gowns she should wear, she felt lost. Alan sent makeup artist but she wanted no part of that. He also sent twenty gowns for her to pick from and she found the one she thought would cheer her up. It was a red Valentino gown.
Sydney hated leaving the children and she suspected that they had gotten use to it, which made her depressed more.
Finally, she was dressed, but the thought of seeing Jeremy tormented her. How would he react to her marriage to Alan? She saw how he reacted to the news when she announced her engagement. He flew into a rage and locked himself in his room and drank. He never drank to these lengths before, but he claimed that he was celebrating her mistakes even if she was too stupid to realize that he was the man for her. But who was?
It had been close to a year since Sydney saw Jeremy. She made the mistake of going to his apartment to discuss their child. It took all the nerve she could muster just to ring his bell. She knew Nadia was in Paris and she had to speak to Jeremy. Her thoughts were to come to some compromise in reference to their child. Sydney walked out of the cab early that evening after leaving Steven in the salon.
Jeremy opened the door; he stood in a tee shirt splashed with paint.
“I was working on a portrait of you,” He said surprising Sydney. “I knew you would come, because I wished you here.”
Sydney stood disarmed, she walked through the door. Before she could say a word to Jeremy, he moved closer to her. She put her head to the side in a gesture warding off his advances.
“I didn’t come for that, Jeremy.”
“Well why the hell did you come?” He said dryly.
“I came to discuss our baby.”
Jeremy put his brush down and walked to the terrace as Sydney followed. “I’ve done everything I can for my son without raising suspicion,” He said as he turned facing Sydney. The light in Jeremy’s eyes made her long for the love of Danny. She took a trip back in time in that few seconds of staring into his eyes. She could easily rush into his arms and he would not deny her of the easy access to every part of his exciting sumptuous body.
Jeremy shared the longing that crossed his mind, body, and soul. He thought of the loveliness of Sydney. He thought of his child and how he was conceived and every part of his body screamed for her touch, her smile, anything that would signal that she wanted him.
“I hope you know I intend to marry Alan.”
“I hope you know I intend on you marrying me one day.” Jeremy looked across the room and didn’t break a smile. He was dead serious about his intentions. Sydney knew he meant what he said and she walked far away from him so as not to be enticed by his eyes and his alluring body. She could never resist Danny and his brother at Danny’s absence had taken up the mantel for protector, seducer, and father. However, now there was another man in Sydney’s life that she dared not tell anyone for fear that he too will disappear and she may never see him again.
“How can you come to me and tell me that you will marry another man when you know that I want you more than life itself.”
“You are married, how dare you speak to me in that manner?’
“You know why I married Nadia. Do not pretend that you don’t know.” Jeremy’s words cut through Sydney and left her weak and unsure of herself. She turned and ran from his apartment and headed for home. That was a year ago and now she had to face him once again with his desires and outburst, to which she could not control. She realized now marrying Alan was to get Jeremy out of her life.
Another mistake could cost her sanity. She questioned her life. Is she doomed to this life of mistakes and problems with men of her own creation? Some women never have enough men to make them feel whole, yet she manages to accumulate hoards of men who love her or hate her, she
thought.
* * *
The time was near where she had to make her entrance. From Paris to Milan guest were e-mailing each other asking whether they were invited to the big gala. And even if they were not invited they managed to show up at Alan’s door.
Steven finally made his way to Alan’s apartment to check on Sydney. He was late but welcome. The maid greeted him with a drink and showed him to Sydney’s room.
“Sydney, how are you doing with all this attention?” Steven put his drink down and walked to examine Sydney’s hair and brush it. Sydney swatted his hand away.
“Where were you Steven when I needed someone to confide in?”
“Look Sydney, I can’t be your babysitter. I have a life.” He stood at a distance with one hand on his hip and a brush in the other hand. “It’s time for you to fly on your own, little bird.” Sydney looked at Steven with a sneer and a raised eyebrow.
“You should be the last one to talk about babysitting someone. What about…” Steven knew where Sydney was headed and didn’t want any part of that conversation. He raised a hand and Sydney stopped. He gave Sydney a kiss on the head and then left to make himself comfortable for what he knew would be a night he would never forget.
It was getting late and Sydney paced around the room checking her hair and makeup dreading having to face so many strangers. She had to make an entrance. After mustering the courage she was born with, and years of living dangerously, she opened the door and walked down the hall before arriving at the marble stair case. She was told to smile as she descended the stairs. Alan had planned to have cameras inside the apartment. Sydney could hear the whispers. When she drifted on the first step, the cameras began flashing. At the bottom of the stairs, she couldn’t see the last step.
Burning Obsession Page 6
