“I’m only saying to do what is in your heart.”
“I admitted to you that I loved you? Yet you still haven’t said a word.”
“I can’t say anything Sydney because I can’t take care of you. I’m in your dead husband’s house at which time you are planning to sell it.”
“I’ll never sell it as long as you’re there.”
“I can’t ask you to do that?”
“Then what is it that you want from me Nicholas?”
“Give me time? There is a call coming in from Max…I have to go.” And Danny left Sydney to ponder her future. Marry a man that has everything and appear to love her and her children, or marry a man that has nothing whom she loves and still very young and is capable of breaking her heart a little more. At least she thought that Alan was stable.
She had never met a man in his twenties that was stable even Danny. He had grand plans and when things didn’t work out he turned to drugs and alcohol. She felt that she could not go through the merry-go-round again in her life. She was in her thirties and to be with a man in his twenties was not as appealing as it was when she first met Danny. Now Nicholas appeared to be Danny’s age when she first met him. However, she was getting older and the man she was falling in love with was younger.
It was Nicholas’s age and personality, which she fell in love with because she finally admitted to herself that he reminded her of Danny. That was why he fascinated her and drove her ecstatic with joy. She then knew what it was that pulled her to him. Everything about him reminded her of Danny. The careful considerate way he approached her body, his quiet strength, handsome, gentle, and full of life.
But Sydney knew that that was no way to begin a relationship—trying to substitute one man for another, so she made a decision.
Chapter 9
The Decision
Sydney was turned off by what she considered a snub by Nicholas. She bared her soul to him and still he said to make her own decisions. She made her decision and she tried to explain it to Nicholas but he obviously didn’t want her as much as she wanted him. Sydney felt guilty about wanting him as much as she had dared want Danny. She felt guilty about making love to Nicholas when she had just agreed to marry Alan. She felt guilty about betraying Alan so she decided that she would marry him to clear her conscience.
It had been two weeks since Alan threw her a party and since she had spoken to her friends. Sydney called Heather. Their worlds had changed, yet Heather tried to keep Sydney connected to her by face-book and twitter, posting pictures of her children and life. Sydney’s life was complicated.
“Heather this is Sydney.”
“I know and I’m angry with you. You could have let me know that you had found yourself a new actor.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The Daily Gossip says that you and Nicholas Grant are an item and will be married soon.”
Sydney screamed, “That Steven is at it again. Just wait until I see him.”
“You mean that this is a fabrication?”
“It’s not true Heather.”
“Awe, I just love to read about you when you were with Danny. So exciting.”
“You will have to get another hobby. My life will be mundane the minute I marry Alan.”
“Do you mean to say that there is nothing between you and that Nicholas Grant character? I saw a picture of him in the Arts section of the Houston Chronicle and dam but he’s a good-looking man. I don’t think Danny had anything on him. I just love those eyes and that cute ass.”
“Excuse me, but I’m in no mood to listen to you compare Danny and Nicky.”
“So you do know him and by the way you refer to him as Nicky, you have the hots for him.”
“Since when do you talk like that Heather?”
“Since I turned thirty and gotten hot as a pistol. You’re probably feeling the same way about Nicky,” Heather said with a laugh. “But you are wound so tight that you don’t want to admit what you are feeling.” Sydney became uncomfortable with the conversation so she cut it short. She called Alan.
“Alan, meet me in LA, I ‘m going to make arrangements to sell Danny’s home and once and for all make a break from the past. I’m tired of living in the past.” Sydney hung the phone up and called Steven who answered on the first ring.
“Steven, be ready for a flight to LA, I’m going to stay in LA until I sell Danny’s home. I need moral support and I have a bone to pick with you.”
“What time is the flight leaving? Wait… how about if I meet you at your apartment and we can take a cab together to the airport?”
“Alan is sending his limo and we’ll fly on his private jet.”
“Well aren’t you moving up in the world?’
“Shut up Steven and be here at 8:00 a.m. Bye Steven.”
* * *
The ride into LA was a new experience for Steven. He remembered all the times he escorted Sydney back and forth from New York to LA with the paparazzi following them. She was married to Phillip Cross.
Steven and Sydney rode the limousine to Danny’s home in the hills and stopped at the front door. Steven remembered the times he had to help Sydney carry Danny to the car to get him out of the clutches of Page and her boyfriend Anthony. Stepping out of the car, he smelled the fresh air and looked around and there walking from the garden stood Nicholas, but Steven knew it was Danny.
Glancing over at Sydney to gage her reaction, Steven spied the shock in her face. Danny hurried over to gather her belongings and help her with her luggage.
“What are you doing here Nicholas? I thought you were away?”
“My movie shoot is over. You said as long as the property isn’t sold, I have a job here.”
“Well, I’m planning to sell the house.”
“What made you change your mind?” Danny said concerned.
“I’ll take the bags in the house and let you and…Nicholas talk.” Steven ambled away, turned, and looked around to see them walk into to the garden. They strode together until they were out of sight of everyone and then they sat under a tree overlooking another garden. “I’m selling this house and getting rid of everything that belongs to Danny.”
“Why are you doing that?” Danny stood and turned his back to Sydney. She stood walked closer and touched his arm. “Why are you so affected by my decision?” She turned him around to face her.
“I’m in love with you. I fell in love with you the first time I met you.”
“Then why are you getting rid of this home where I first made love to you? “I want you so much Sydney?”
“Then why don’t you show me,” Sydney said meeting his gaze.
“I can’t.” He moved closer to the cottage. Sydney followed.
“Look at me. Tell me. I’ve never opened myself up to any man, not even Danny. And I’m laying myself bare for you and you walk away and will not answer my questions.” She waited for an answer, a gesture, a word pleading with her to marry him, and not Alan. Silence. “Then I’m going to marry Alan, but I’ll always love you and I hope you hurt everyday knowing that I’m loving Alan and I’m in his bed.”
“You can’t leave me! I can’t stand to see you with anyone but me.” Danny scooped her into his arms and carried her through the door of the guesthouse. Sydney laid her head on his shoulder. He laid her across his bed.
Danny rose after placing her on his bed. She could smell his scent on the sheets, a scent that was so familiar. She could forget everyone and live with him under any circumstances. Forget Alan. Forget Jeremy, and forget the love of her life Danny. Just go where ever he wants and wait for him, where ever, and whenever he desired. It was a fond notion but it wasn’t her. Sydney had more to think about than herself. She had to bring stability into her life. That’s what she thought she had with Danny and now he was gone. Alan finally gave her a feeling of comfort and love, his comfort and his love, but not hers. He knew the score and wanted her anyway, she thought.
Nicholas expression changed. Sy
dney could not read his face. “Take your clothes off.” He stared at her like a wolf ready to devour a lamb; eyes glaring, body intense, and chest heaving back and forth. The heat of his body caused his face to flush, and his penis rose. Sydney watched from an advantage point. He wasn’t embarrassed he wanted her to see that he desired her in the most intense way, and he wanted her now even as his body stood sweaty and dirty from labor. He raised his head and looked to the left of Sydney.
He took her hand, “Take a shower with me.”
Sydney lay in a seductive pose with her skirt raised, her hair rumpled and falling on her shoulders. Her eyes raised, and then met his glance. “Help me take this skirt off.”
Danny sat on the rumpled bed with a slow ease. Then pulled the zipper down and pulled the skirt down her legs. And then he took her bikini panties and gently eased then down her body and dropped them on to the floor on the opposite side of the bed.
His heart beat fast and faster still, with his hands sweating, and his tongue rounding his lips anticipating and admiring the body he loved so much. Sydney turned her back and motion for him to unfasten her bra and when it uncovered her breast, he did all he could not to have an organism at that moment. Yet his sexual hunger was more than he could stand and the heat that dashed through his body was beyond his control.
Sydney climbed from the bed and stood in front of him. He stood undressing, first taking off his blue work shirt, raising it over his head until she finally saw his entire chest. The first night he made love to her the light was low. Now she got a better look at his gorgeous exciting young body. His abs, are a thing of beauty like the wingspan of an eagle. Then Sydney gasped, “How did you get those scars? Danny looked down he had forgotten about the scars. She moved closer to his body and kissed the scar from his back to the top of his shoulder. His skin lit and chills eased through out his body.
He moaned, “Oh,” pushing the air from his mouth.
He turned around facing her and held her in his arms.
“I love you,” he said. She stared into his sparkling eyes.
“Then why aren’t you asking to marry me? I’m the one begging you. I have laid bare my body and soul. Nicky this will be the last time I will give myself to you. I hope you hurt knowing that I’m marrying Alan and you could have stopped me.”
“You’re not going to marry him, you love me too much. You know what we have together. No one can come between us.”
Sydney didn’t know what to say, but it was something in Nicky’s gestures and voice. The look in his eyes, his face and his mouth reminded her of someone. Who is it? She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something familiar about him and something eerie that didn’t make sense. He reminded her of someone? Who is it? Her mind kept wondering.
“Sydney…Sydney.”
He took her hand and they walked into the shower. He turned on the water, place shower gel on a soft cloth, looked into her eyes and washed her breasts. Her nipples jutted outward. He looked to her for approval before placing his head down on her chest. He took one breast in his hand and placed the nipple in his mouth. He placed his other hand down on her clit. As he sucked her breast, his hand massaged her clit. He could feel her whole body giving in to him. She then felt his hard erect penis as her head fell back in pure ecstasy.
She didn’t feel Nicky lay her on his bed and make love to her and then lay in his arms. All was like a slow motion picture and some scenes omitted. She had to find what was missing.
Facing her fears and facing Alan would be daunting. This time she left Nicholas lying in the bed, and she dressed, and walked to the main house. There sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal and drinking coffee sat Steven with an obscene grin plastered on his face. He could not help but notice Sydney’s appearance.
“You don’t look like a woman that’s ready to marry, at least not that rich Frenchman. Maybe he’s down with a threesome. That’s French isn’t it? On the other hand, he could be the Marquis de Sade? You know the Frenchman who had all kinds of kinky stuff going on in his castle.” He reached for a cup of coffee. “Maybe he likes whips and chains, a good flogging might get your attention.”
“Have you finished, Steven? Where do you get these things? You know the mind is a terrible thing to waste, and it appears that you have lost yours.”
“When I’m away from New York, I’m on vacation. I don’t think about my problems. I entertain myself with problems that I don’t have to worry about. Problems that belong to others.”
“That reminds me, you’re the one that gave that tacky gossip paper information on Nicky and me,” Sydney said raising her voice and eyebrow.
Steven’s eyes fell on the floor. “Well… you found me out. I promise you I will never do that again.”
“You said that last time.” Sydney walked around and poured herself a cup of tea with milk.
“I see you still have that habit that you picked up from Danny.”
Sydney looked at Steven, “What?”
“Putting milk in your tea. Do you still think of Danny?”
“For some reason, every time I see Nicholas and I don’t know why, but for some uncanny reason I can’t stop thinking of him.” She paused, and sat at the bar, and put her hand under her chin. “It’s something about him. I look at him, his eyes are not the same, but it’s like looking into Danny’s soul. I don’t know what it is.”
Sydney glanced at Steven and he had a smirk on his face. His eyes lit up and his face flushed red. “You’re looking at me as if you have a secret, but I know you well enough that you couldn’t hold water.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that if you had a secret, you would have spilled it by now.” Sydney put the cup to her lips and peered up at Steven. “I get the impression that you’re hiding something.”
“You know me. I would tell you in a minute if I knew anything.”
At that moment, the door bell rang. The maid opened it as Steven waited silently to hear who had come in. “The man said his name is Alan Brule and he’s your fiancée, Mrs. McCloud.” Sydney’s glance fell on Steven. She took a deep breath and lumbered out of the kitchen after raising her fist. Steven raised his hands and hunched his shoulders gesturing that he had no idea that Alan was coming to LA.
“Alan, I didn’t know you were coming here. Why didn’t you text me?” She kissed him on the cheek and clearly, he expected more. Then she moved away from him.
“I hope I didn’t interfere with your plans. I had to come here because my company bought a hotel in LA. Jeremy wanted to come along. I commissioned his paintings for the hotel.”
“Why did you bring Jeremy?”
“Because I wanted to see you, Sydney,” Jeremy said stepping inside the room. Now she couldn’t keep Nicholas a secret. “I haven’t seen you and I wanted to look at my brother’s home before you sold it. After the money Alan gave me for a commission, I think I can afford this home,” he said looking around and meeting Sydney’s gaze. “Don’t you want to keep my brother’s home in the family?”
Sydney felt contempt for Jeremy. She knew he had married Nadia because he wanted to hurt her. Now when that doesn’t work he wants to move into Danny’s home, she thought.
“Sydney agreed to sell the home to me,” a voice drifted from the kitchen. Danny sauntered from the hall adjacent with the kitchen into the large room where everyone stood in a circle. “I’m going to make her an offer for the home,” Danny said smiling at Sydney.
“Nicholas, I didn’t know you had an appointment with Sydney. I would have gone on to my hotel,” Alan said in surprise and feeling uncomfortable and turning to Sydney. “Sydney you didn’t say anything about Nicholas being here.”
“I don’t have time to tell you everything Alan. My business is my own.” As soon as the words poured from her mouth and she spied Alan’s face, she wished she hadn’t said those hurtful words. It was because she saw three men staring at her, cornering her with their desires and dreams, that she felt a panic to
flee or fight. “I’m sorry Alan.”
“I know my love; you must be under terrible stress. It is hard to part with memories.” Alan put his brown leather Louis Vuitton satchel down, walked to Sydney and held her close.
“Well, if this isn’t a pretty picture,” Steven said.
“What is it, Steven?” Danny and Jeremy said in unison. “You two sound like twins. Don’t they Sydney?” That was the first time Steven had given Sydney a hint of who Nicholas is. Jeremy and Danny glared at Steven until he felt uncomfortable. He turned in the direction of the kitchen as Alan grabbed Sydney’s hand leading her into the kitchen.
“I need to speak to you Sydney.”
Danny, Steven, and Jeremy stood uncomfortably near in silence, each looking from one to the other. It could have been a bad movie if Jeremy and Steven hadn’t been the actors they claimed to be. The silence was loud. But through the silence you could hear Alan and Sydney’s voices, and the sound of Sydney laughing.
Alan and Sydney broke the silence when they strolled in hand and hand.
“Tell them Sydney.” Sydney looked up at Alan then to Jeremy and Steven, and finally to Danny.
“Alan and I…” She paused to clear her throat, “will marry tomorrow in Las Vegas at his new hotel which is having a grand opening on Saturday.”
“Why are you in such a rush Sydney? I have news you want to hear.” Jeremy looked back and forth then his eyes settled on Danny, then Alan.
“What? What is it Jeremy?” Sydney stated with a strong voice.
“Danny is alive.”
“You would do anything to prevent me from marrying Alan.”
Danny froze. It was as if the sky had fallen and dropped on him. His tan skin turned white, his brow furrowed and he shook his head in disbelief. He would have wagered his life that Sydney wouldn’t marry Alan and so soon. He couldn’t breath and he couldn’t think. The air was sucked out of the room.
“It’s true Sydney, he’s alive,” Steven chimed in to help Jeremy as Danny stood speechless. “I heard from reliable sources that it’s true.”
Burning Obsession Page 8
